Archive for November, 2014

This is Ask Black Witch, let’s get started. It’s a little late this time because of head cold, food poisoning (second in my life and within two years. Avoid the Rainbow Roll sushi at the Library of Congress’ Madison Café), and cramps all at pretty much the same time. That takes a lot out of you.

Merry meet im Jenine,I wanna know how do i going about what i need to do with my inner gifts I always wanted to be a witch and I always knew I was different im 32 year of age and still struggle to deal with what I have.I dont talk to anyone about myself I alwaysd used to ask my mum but she no longer with me…im a loner,married with 3 kids I just need someone anyone to understand or tell me whats happening to me please

– Jenine H.

See, when I first read this letter, I was well baffled:

Ok, you’re making really little sense. I am seriously going to need you to reiterate what you’re trying to say, and this time, use punctuation and be a lot more specific. You can learn magick and witchcraft just from the books I already have suggested on my site. What is it exactly that you have? I can’t tell you what’s going on since you really didn’t tell me much besides, “I have gifts and I’m lonely.” So write back being a lot more descriptive than you were in the original letter and from there, I can see if there’s any info I can pull.

I can’t help if I can’t make sense.

The response:

I apologize, ok.My grandmother told me I was born with second  sight what we call ‘die helm’…I can see spirits like ghosts,demons I have dreams that I think come true almost like ‘dejavu’…I would get very angry in the past then I wil say something terrible to someone then it would happen just the way I said it…its been like this for years, I dont want to hurt anyone …nothing makes sense to me…people don’t have to tell me things I would already know what they gonna say,I get emotional for no reason…I thought im cursed but I put that thinking out off head, why I say I always wanted to be a witch is,when I was very young I was drawn to this house were my granny live and got this feeling that I wanna be what live there I only assumed it was a witch with long hair …I know I sound dumb…I never had any close friends and my family thinks im dodgy…do I make sense?

You’re making some sense. However, regardless of having psychic abilities of any sort, you sound lonely utmost. Have you joined any message boards like Mystic Wicks or something? I’ll answer more in depth on Ask Black Witch at the end of the month.

No none

Ok. Everyone, as a reminder, I strongly prefer well written letter because I like understanding successfully what you are saying.

Now, it is possible this person could be clairvoyant but it sounds more like there is a potential depression issue from loneliness, which can easily cloud and confuse any psionic ability. I would recommend that you get the loneliness sorted out because it’s very possible you feel trapped in your life and the idea of having special abilities could be that mental release. This doesn’t mean that you don’t have any, just that getting the loneliness corrected would help clear the mental cloud so you can move forth in exploring the abilities that you were informed were hereditary. This is why I suggested Mystic Wicks, because they have a pretty lively messageboard (turns out Mystic Wicks is taken down but the forums are still alive and kicking) where you can socialize and break out of your loneliness, even if just a little, and get more information about what you can do. I think they even have a section where people from the same area can talk, make friendships and eventually gather.

Hi I’ve always had a question in my mind about this and I was wondering can anyone become a witch or practice magick because I’ve been getting interested and I would love to know we’re to begin. Thank you!

– Chris

Yep, anyone as long as you’re willing to put in the work and study. You don’t have to be born from a family of witches or practitioners, just doing your homework is enough. I would best recommend the Resources & Information category, especially The Arts! Samhain Editions. Those are the best books I can think of as start off points. I really recommend Where to Park your Broomstick by Lauren Manoy, most of all.

After a lot of thinking, I type this mail as I’m not sure with regard to what I should do. I seek your advice and if possible your help. I request that my identity remain confidential.

I come from a middle class family, where my parents have seen tough times. I completed my studies and cleared exams to join government civil service (a matter of pride in our society ) . I had told my mother that I would marry any girl of their choice, but my mother wanted my opinion too.

During the course of my job, I met a girl who is from my religion, but belongs to a different geographical location. When things seemed favorable between us, I initiated talks of wedding straight away at my place ( I was not in favor of having a relationship outside marriage ).

My family members outright rejected her without even meeting her. My father even used terms which were disgusting. My family is against the idea of her being married to me as they assume that she is controlling me. Further, my father wants me to marry as per his choice. Meanwhile, it’s been a year and all my efforts to convince them till now have not borne fruit. I’m really stuck in a place where I want my family as well as this girl.

Is it possible to somehow make my family members receptive to the fact that this is a good girl. Can they be convinced?

Praying for a win-win solution.

– Alfetti

At first, I thought this was supposed to be a letter going somewhere else but wound up in my inbox but with a short clarification, it was clear the letter was for me.

Hello again ma’am,

Sorry for the late reply.

Firstly, I was going through your blog and I felt maybe I could get some help. Secondly, I have not much of an idea about paganism, magick or divination as I’m not a practitioner of any of these.

There are a few things though which I couldn’t add in my previous mail. My parents stay at my hometown, which is about 1500 miles from where I stay. The situation is tense because in March this year, when things had gotten very serious, my father had suffered a heart attack. Even now, my parents are not in the best of their health.

When I inch anywhere closer to the area of the conversation about me and her, my parents tend to take the conversation on the lines of family honor and social reputation. As such I have so far tried convincing my mother and my sisters but to no avail, although my mother says, that my father would never agree. I have spoken to my uncles to convince my father, but nobody can change his mind.

Recently, my father told me to marry as per his wish and choice. I didn’t tell him anything but I told my mom “if you want me to marry as per your choice, I would have to and it will be against my wish coz I love this girl.” But, we are still where we were with no change in their stance.

I apologize again for my late reply, on account of being preoccupied with my duties. Kindly excuse me.

This is tricky. I mainly know of Indian culture through my friends so hopefully I display a good enough grasp to sufficiently answer this question.

Just about everything clears but your parents’ approval. You didn’t go much into your actual relationship so I can’t determine if the girl is controlling but so far, it sounds like you have a pretty healthy relationship. Controlling relationships usually include isolation, actively (be it overt or covert) trying to turn you against your family in a “us vs. the world” type of way, never letting you have your space, things of that nature so I think your parents have baseless accusations and are probably saying that to be petty and a wee bit controlling themselves.

Now, I understand arranged marriage is a thing and it is tradition. However, traditions are not laws. You’re are indeed at a crossroads because on one hand, you have your family, who you love and appreciate and respect (even if they can act a bit batty because that’s family all around the world), and her you have this girl who you fell head over heels with and think she’s marvelous and even after a year, you still think she’s marvelous, which is a great sign for a relationship. I understand you want to respect your parents’ wishes and previous agreement of going after the girl they would pick for you buuuuut it seems your mind is just not going along with it and that little voice in the back of your head is not going to let up. However, you don’t want to feel like being too harsh will drive your dad right into a coffin and your mother into grief.

You’re going to have to play it cagey. Sum up all the good things you’ve done by them so far (the nice government job, the certifications and degrees) and how much honor and respect those things alone have chalked up. Surely those experiences are of high enough status and honor that you should have some wobble room to for this one thing for yourself. It isn’t as if you will marry this girl and all of a sudden everyone will think lowly of you and your family as if there never has been a single achievement at all. And plus, your girlfriend also has the government job so certainly if two people of prestigious jobs marry, surely the marriage can’t cancel out the high status of the job and the pride it brings in the eyes of society. I would say stick with your guns in dating this girl, show her around to the rest of the family (it sounds like they’re more accepting of her) and keep highlighting her best features like if she’s funny, brilliant or really killer smart with computers. And most of all, if parents raise a fuss, remind them that you have already fulfilled the family honor and outstanding status in society (and she will, too).

I understand why your parents feel this way and tradition is important but you have to go with what makes you happy if you’ve found it.

Usually I have three picks for The Arts! but this time, it’s just the one (with exception to PACO) because it was that well done. I don’t commonly watch Korean dramas (K-Drama) despite the fact I mainly watch Korean tv (yay for mobile streaming apps) but this one, titled “It’s Okay, That’s Love” is incredibly well done. The two male leads both have a mental illness, they’re depicted realistically and continually throughout the whole series. Here is the first episode (w/ English subtitles):

Click Me!

Click Me to See First Episode!

There are 16 episodes in all and possibly the first drama to actually touch me emotionally. The creators of the show were presented with an award because of how well they created genuine mental illness representation throughout the whole series and, frankly, they deserve it completely. The characters with mental illness (one of them with Tourette’s, one with Schizophrenia) aren’t depicted as broken or in severe need to be locked away somewhere. They have realistic lives and they’re normal enough people. Granted, there are some pretty sappy parts but it’s a K-Drama, it’s part of the package deal, but the whole show is golden.

I am forever discerning of when people touch on the subject of mental illness because I have several of my own, a fact I’ve touched on a number of times and a subject I even had a series titled “All in Your Head” about. It is rarely depicted in a realistic sense and as if people who have issues are still people. I don’t think before this, I have ever seen mental illness fully well depicted in media. I think the one time was Tony Stark in Iron Man 3, where he shows signs of PTSD such as hyper talking, pacing, having a tough time pulling it together. I have PTSD, I do the exact same thing. I think there is also Korean film “I’m a Cyborg, But That’s Okay” which shows a series of illnesses and from various perspectives. Extremely well done. It’s nice when people do more than just their basic homework and go above and beyond. Most folks who include depictions of mental illness in media pretty much just skim over whatever DSM version they have and go “Ehhh, that sounds good. Throw that in there. Sounds real crazy.” Not cool.

So check out the series!

Also, PACO (Pagan Activism Conference Online) is this weekend. Today, November 22 will be the “Activism Among Pagans of Color” panel, which I will be a part of. Come and join in and feel free to ask questions. The panel I believe is still $10 by itself but the whole conference is $40. The panel will be 12-1:30 PM PST (so that is 3-4:00PM EST for me, find your time here).

Hold, on, I forgot one more! It is nearly Thanksgiving, isn’t it?

Bea Gaddy
Thanksgiving is around the corner here in America and that means I feature the ever saintly Bea Gaddy. She started out poor but had struck gold when she hit the lottery up to three times. She would use her winnings to help feed 39 of her neighbors, which started her emergency relief work in Baltimore. She opened the Patterson Park Emergency Food center, which feeds 50-150 people and since 1981, has fed over 100,000 families. The most outstanding event is the Thanksgiving Dinners that she would hold, relying on donations and volunteers when it was done in her home, which then moved to Dunbar Middle School. She also ran a furniture bank, had abandoned row homes renovated and refurbished for the poor*, ran a summer youth program and was a very vocal supporter of voter education. Also, shortly before her death, Gaddy became an ordained minister so that she could marry and bury the poor at no cost to them. Her home, which ran all these operations, worked under the name of “Bea Gaddy Center for Women and Children”.

If you want to read more about Bea Gaddy’s story, click here. If you would like to visit or donate to the Bea Gaddy Center, click here. Here is also her listing in the Maryland’s Women Hall of Fame.

Next week is Ask Black Witch. Send in your questions! Remember, good questions are appreciated, bad questions are eviscerated.

*Not the rich, the mayor and city government could take a couple tips from this woman’s legacy.

Bitter Nails

So, I collect rusted nails.

I live near a funeral home so there’s a bounty of coffin nails laying around but I prefer the naturally rusted ones. Reason? I’m not really the jinxing or binding type but it is nice to have in storage in the Magick cabinet. I horde stuff, it’s a thing.

Using magick to stop or punish wrongdoing isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Keyword: “Necessarily”. It’s easy to be overruled by emotions and to think that you’re right and they’re wrong and with the aid of some black salt and rusted nails, all will be right with the world again. Even if you’re in the wrong. Face it, everyone thinks they’re the hero in their own story, even the villain so it can all be a matter of perspective. This is why I prefer more karmic magick, even if it has a bit of a punishing lean to it. And this is also why I don’t do pay-for-pray/paid spellwork, it’s really amazing what crucial info people leave out when they want to hire out revenge. I mean that in the most sarcastic way possible, seriously, you almost want to advocate people buy guns instead.

Rusted nails are useful in binding and karmic spells still because they still can represent a problem or a problem person. However, it’s best to go with “problem” in oppose to “problem person” unless you are 184% sure it is them, irrefutable proof included (as in, you saw with your own eyes, pretty much) because red herrings and fall guys exist. A lot. The rusted nail can be hammered down, isolated, bound up in twine or wire, submerged in mixture, whatever is needed as it houses the representational energy of whatever is the problem.

Now, a word for why I prefer karmic spells over hexes and jinxes (in most cases) is because the universe (or whichever judge-like deity or entity you’re summoning) becomes the judge and they see/know all. At least to an extent greater than mortals do, we still can’t get over the fact we come in darker shades and that’s a pretty basic non-problem. There is a myriad of reasons why whatever happened to you did happen, some may be more obvious than others, even if the reason is “no reason/luck ran out”. Life isn’t perfect or fair. Also, no one is 100% innocent, there’s a chance you’re getting retribution for something you did, even if it is unrelated. That’s what karmic spells are good for. So the actual bad guy can be punished, even if the bad guy is you.

Does this mean that I’m anti-hex? Nah, not entirely. Jinxing can be used as protection in terms of self defense (and being upset someone forgot to put cheese on your cheeseburger doesn’t count as self defense but jinxing a street harasser or creeper is perfectly fine, if not encouraged) but mainly in self defense. Anything else is not necessary and better for just a karmic spell because for all that bears out in reality, they may not have really wronged you, you just might see it that way. Which isn’t fair.

So, I’ll keep collecting rusted nails. Maybe one day I’ll have to use them. Y’know, again.

Ok, that’s all for the BW for today but did you know that I will participating on the online “Activism Among Pagans of Color” panel for PACO, Pagan Activism Conference Online. The panel will be on November 22nd starting at 12 PM PST. Learn more about it here. The whole online conference costs $40 but the panel is $10 and if you can’t pay, PACO can help. Click the link for more info.

Alright, I have some quick news! I will be part of PACO – the Pagan Activism Conference Online – for the “Activism Among Pagans of Color” panel. I’ll be speaking alongside Shades of Faith and Shades of Ritual author Crystal Blanton, hoodoo conjurer Khi Armand and blogger Xochiquetzal Duti Odinsdottir on November 22, 12-1:30 PM (PST). Now, as you could gather from the title, it will all be online so you can listen in. However, entry is paid:

$40 for the whole online conference
$10 per individual panel

If you still are having difficulty paying, it’s fine. Contact the Pantheon Foundation here and they’ll work with you. If you can pay, go for it – it supports the panelists! Woo!

See you there!

Pagan Dress Up

Usually when someone mentions they’re a witch or Pagan or whatever, the dress that commonly comes to mind is be raggedy black dress with striped stockings, and pointy hat or uber goth kids wearing all black and silver jewelry, or people walking about as if they’re on winter break from Hogwarts. Now while it’s cool and funky to have robes and fancy things, remember: There’s no dress code in Paganism.

We’re not like certain sects in Judaism, Islam, Christianity or Buddhism where there is an important piece of clothing to wear enable to confer your faith. You don’t have to plunder through Hot Topic or dress as if you’re going to a funeral everyday. Now, if you want to wear a particular clothing to best connect with whatever main pantheon you work with (say you work with the Islamic pantheon and entities and want to wear a head-covering as respect to the faith and beliefs) that’s fine but in general. There isn’t a particular thing you have to wear. Most Pagans looks like normal people…mainly because we are.

Take me for example. Even though I dress in alternative fashion pretty regularly, this is me on a regular day:

"Sup, brah?"

      “Sup, brah?”

Nothing unusual. I don’t look obviously Pagan nor do I look like I shop out of Diagon Alley on the regular. I look really normal. Because there’s nothing there special for me to wear. Commonly, people believe Pagans and Witches dress odd like mountain hags or as if their fashion sense never went past 1683 mainly thanks to movies (a lot of things people believe about how Pagans look and act are thanks to movies and tv shows, ergh) but the reality is, is that we are pretty incognito.

"So incognito, brah"

“So incognito, brah”

Pagans come from many backgrounds and can take on any job such as nurses, lawyers, doctors, teachers and more, there’s nothing that say you have to change your clothes to reflect your faith when it comes to Paganism. It’s appreciated but not necessary. Now granted, many Pagans also wear stone jewelry, I’m no exception because I wear a tourmalated quartz necklace that I’ve had for a loooooooooooooooong time.



You don’t have to go out and buy one or find one, if you don’t want to wear rocks around your neck, wrist, fingers or whatever, it’s perfectly fine and up to the practitioner of what they wanna do and how they wanna do it. Some Pagans and Witches charm their jewelry for whatever reason or another. Some don’t . Some wear it as an abstract expression of  faith, like when a Christian wears a cross necklace. I kinda of wear my stone necklace for this reason but also partly because it’s my favorite stone (that temporarily got lost for a day). But remember, not every person who wears any stone jewelry is automatically Pagan or a witch. So please, don’t approach people who are wearing a rose quartz and declare “THEY’RE A WITCH. STOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE THEM!” because you could be way off the mark – not to mention give someone a heart attack with the sudden declaration for mob assembly. That scares anyone.

"Not cool, brah"

“Not cool, brah.”

So remember, you can wear normal clothes, you don’t have to wear black every single day. Being Pagan/Witch is who you are and doesn’t require clothing expression of dedication. You’re still Pagan/Witch even if you look the furthest away from a granola-munching environmentalist or as if you stumbled off the set from The Craft. Even if you don’t have a single thing that has a pentacle or pentagram on it. Even if you don’t own a single robe or fancy (and highly flammable) ritual clothing. You’re still you and you still strongly practice, even without the visual signifiers.

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