Archive for May, 2022


I mentioned in the last post that I was in a newspaper article about the abhorrent behaviors of Paula Langley, the deeply bigoted Circulation Manager at University of Maryland, Baltimore County (UMBC). Here is the new article. The article is titled “Past and current AOK Library employees reveal negative experiences with supervisor”. I wanted to point out a quote of mine for clarification.

In the article I said, “I think she hits on almost every single pin of bigotry except for race and gender”. I believe I said at the time of talking to the reporter (who did a great job with the article!) “race and sexism”, not “race and gender”. However, I asked them to check the record (I allowed to be recorded) so I could also see which version I said, but while we find that out, I usually say “Paula has hit on almost every pin but racism and sexism.”

Actually, after saying this to the reporter, I had then sat down a few days later with the Department of Justice Title IX investigators during their campus visit. (Title IX covers gender discrimination, for those who are not in the know.) The investigators were there because of Paula’s behavior (she’s really good at wracking up investigations, I don’t think there has been a single year where Paula didn’t get investigated for something she has done or said). I learned from the sit-down I had with the investigators that transphobia falls under sexism in the eyes of the DoJ (especially now since Trump is gone). Usually when I say “sexism”, I mean the more “classical” version of sexism, such as general misogyny (like making derogatory comments about women in general, sexual assault, etc). Basically, I meant, “I never heard Paula say or do anything negative about women in general, just transwomen.” Just like I have never heard Paula say or do anything negative about anyone as it pertained to race. That’s why I went “I have no idea how come she hasn’t hit Yahtzee”. Since Paula Langley sure despises people based on age (ageism), trans identity (transphobia), religion (religious bigotry), disability (ableism), orientation (queerphobia), it’s a surprise she doesn’t bother with the two more “popular” types of bigotry.

Oh, and this is the document that the article references, where Paula uses the term “Dyslexic” in a pejorative manner:

The little handwriting in the upper right corner is mine. The date says 2/5/18, in case someone has a hard time seeing it.

I have the problematic bit highlighted in pink. (For the investigators, I had the computer pathway mapped out for their convenience, hence why part of it is whited out for the internet.)

And yup, one of Paula’s reasons for not liking me is because I have disorders. And that I’m … chatty? And I admit that while I am talkative (this blog is 12 years old, should be obvious by now), if Paula kept her mouth shut from the start, she wouldn’t be staring at investigation after investigation on nearly every government & university level. I may be a chatty cathy but at least I don’t get endlessly investigated for spouting hate.

Also, I have heard some people say, “Oh, this is because Paula is Black and Vivien is White. You’re ganging up on a Black woman.”

I’m Black (it’s even part of this blog’s name, Black Witch). Many of the people Paula treated like trash actually are Black. Perry is Black. Dakota is Black. Joe is Asian. So, no it’s not a race issue. Paula doesn’t see race – because she’s too busy staring at everything else.

Actually, Paula is of Jamaican heritage. Fun fact: So am I. Paula isn’t just the same race as me, she even shares the same island heritage! So, nope, it’s not “ganging up on a defenseless Black woman”, she really is as bad as the article paints her to be. And she’s not that defenseless … the university seems to defend her quite a lot – to the point that the Department of Justice paid a physical visit. In other words, Paula is super okay with treating other Black people like literal trash so, nope it’s not a race thing or else I and a lot of other people would have been spared. Even if we were, her other behavior is still not okay.

Paula Langley has got to go.

I’m back. For how long, I’ve no clue because I really have had my fingers in a lot of pies. Yes, I’m still doing my June 9th, 12th anniversary livestream on my FB fan page and perhaps on my Insta, 12 PM EST. Now, on to the life updates:

– We’re still in a pandemic and I’m still considered a front-line worker because woo, being a librarian for national health library (I’ve talked about this in posts pasts)

– My cat, Madison, passed after 19/20 years of being with me. She was a stray kitten picked up off the street and lived through four presidencies. She passed of old age. She passed in late March at home, I’m glad I was there and was able to provide end-of-life care but I’m still intensely saddened about the passing of my cat.

– One of the pies I have had my finger in is my creative writing. As MultiMind (I explain there why I have different monikers (Spoiler alert: it’s to keep things organized on the back end. There’s Black Witch, MultiMind and Everything Else (i.e. regular life)). I recently came out with a dark fantasy/horror novella called Dreamer.

– Have you read the article in UMBC’s newspaper, The Retriever, about the super transphobic, queerphobic, ableist, ageist UMBC Library Circulation Manager Paula Langley? I don’t know why I somehow keep getting super prejudiced people who work in libraries that I have to air the dirty laundry of (check the Wayback Machine, 2016 for the first go around) but welp – people should know better. It’s 2022, educate yourselves. I talked about her here as well. By the way, there will be a suicide mention in the article and my post. Langley did bully a trans-person, my former supervisor, to literal death, after all. And the university knew the entire time, from when Paula started her behavior, to the death itself. They just decided to cover it up. Oh, and I was banned from the UMBC campus a day after. The Retriever came out on the Apr 27 and I also talked to the Dept of Justice, who was doing an on campus visit largely because of Paula Langley, on that same day. It was a permaban but it’s now down to only the end of the year after I appealed it. Reason? I slid a copy of the Retriever under Paula’s office door. It’s about her, I figured she’d want to see it. This is what the paper looked like, by the way

Hey, reading is fundamental, after all.

Nice to know the university really prefers to stand by Paula, even to the point of a DoJ revisit. Oh, and for UMBC, in case I’m told to “make the post go away”, it’s the internet. This post & blog will be long archived before you know it. Should’ve handled the problem better.

– There’s also the pressure I have been starting to put on Temple University library (yep, another university. For institutions that pride themselves on smarts – they pump out & protect a lot of dumb people) because of their treatment of another friend of mine who also was a librarian, Latanya Jenkins. She was battling cancer and the university didn’t really care too much about that, especially her manager. Wherever Latanya went, university-wise, to get care and accommodations for her job as a Reference librarian for Temple University, they made sure she wouldn’t want to use it – basically forcing her to choose between her cancer treatment or her job. Her manager tried to make Latanya look inept because of the illness, among other prejudiced reasons. HR only intervened lackadaisically and mainly on the side of the manager. I even talked with a library higher up and they told me that there’s some inaccuracies in Latanya’s tale … that they somehow do not want to share or correct (which means, as far as I’m concerned, there aren’t any inaccuracies at all). I’m still pressing the best I can on them but so are other librarians and publications.

– Mr. Black Witch, CTL17, is out. I want to talk about that a bit because I’ve had relationships go south (almost everyone has a relationship that simply fails) but this really took the cake. From fatphobia to anti-Blackness (A. News Flash: do not be surprised if you date a Black person and you find out that … they’re a Black person. B. I am literally one of the worst person on this planet if you have hang-ups in that department and I do personally see to it that I stay that way). He thought I was “too attached to my culture”. Though he apologized, after I basically ripped on him for saying that but still, that should have never been said in the first place, he’s a grown adult with a functional brain. There’s other doozies also. Yes, pobody’s nerfect but then there’s saying trash like that. I know he’s got an odd phobia about “Cancel Culture” (I personally don’t care much about Cancel Culture) but he sure would say a lot that could easily get him caught up in that.

I should have kinda guessed something was off when he thought Asian Americans were doing amazing in 2020/2021 simply because “they’re not being treated as bad as how it was in the 1800s”. (By the way, everyone, #StopAsianHate kicked off in 2021 because of the ramping up of anti-Asian sentiment from 2019 to … now. No, it’s not like the 1800s but there are a lot of things that still need to be done.) When it came to cultural issues (that didn’t support Whiteness), it just seemed like he adopted the Whitest approach he could think of, and if that failed (which it did, a lot) there went the “oh, it’s Asian culture stuff” route, which I guess he thought he could throw on and off like a coat when really convenient. Though I do try to be well read, I know I’m not a scholar on the Asian diasporic consciousness … but I do know accountability-ducking bullsh*t when I hear it. Going “oh, I was basically raised White – wait, now I’m Asian – wait, now I’m ‘raised White’…” when you’re told about your problematic behavior is not a great idea. Borrowed White Fragility is a bad idea, to say the least. When you screw up, own up and then clean up. Plain and simple.

I found him a therapist (he refused to do even that much himself even though he noted that he could use one himself. I noticed he really didn’t like doing any leg work, kind of like an adult child, if not an over-grown teenager). He and I both agreed therapy was beneficial to him, and it really was for the relationship for a little while, but he basically sawed things off when he learned that he had to respect my cultural identity and that my cultural identity is part of me. That somewhat started a while back when he didn’t understand why a game he’s a fan of, Genshin Impact, was accused of colorism. There were several things Genshin was thundered against but the colorism claim was dead-on correct … but he said he preferred not to see “colored characters” (yep, he said “colored”, as if it were the 1950s) because he would feel “pent up and worried”. Apparently, he kind of liked living in a dreamland where he didn’t know that colorism was real and no one would ever point it out to him – and Whiteness is the focus, I suppose? I mean, he already thought Asian Americans being set on fire and mass murdered (two things that happened in 2020/2021) is eons better than facing the Chinese Exclusion Act so I really should not have been surprised that he was that much ejected from living in the real world. I don’t expect everyone to be a scholar in these topics because they can get dense … but he could make Nella Larsen’s Passing sound like The Autobiography of Malcom X.

But what put the nail in the coffin for him was that he got upset that I wanted him to refrain from speaking AAVE. My reasons were because a) he spoke it poorly, it was basically Imagined Black English b) he’s not Black, nor was raised around Black people. To be honest, I dislike non-Black anyone speaking AAVE, especially if they’re middle class on up (where AAVE is spoken way less due to racial/class intersection reasons) because it usually is Imagined Black English (IBE), not actual African American Vernacular English (AAVE).

For example, my spoken Chinese isn’t the greatest but I didn’t have a meltdown when he told me to not speak it because he thought I was making fun of the culture – I started to bone up on my Chinese pronunciation on my own time instead … because I never wanted to come off as “making fun of your identity”. So, if my speaking is that level bad (knowing 5+ languages isn’t easy, especially when not immersed in those languages – my reading is usually best, then listening, then speaking) but I acquiesced instead of double down on my wrongness, I thought he would do the same. He didn’t. He instead melted down in a form of Borrow White Fragility and wanted to be personally slow walked about why being disrespectful of the Black identity is bad. Readers of this blog know that I’m not the slow walking type when it comes to racial issues. I guess he was also upset that I wasn’t a self-hating oreo, I suppose, to match his internalized racism. He seemed a little too happy to crack “grape flavor” jokes – which I immediately would shut him down about, because it’s not funny, it’s harmful. He would apologize and not do it again … but he should have known by now how those jokes are harmful, especially with his degree & age. And remember, everyone, I showed him this blog before we were official – I do that with every guy. Some people should come with a warning label, this blog is probably a warning booklet. Complete with a search engine and categories listed.

It wasn’t that “he didn’t have the knowledgeable resources” – he has a Ph.D in Philosophy … he knows how to think and research, in other words. Plus, he had access to my site, which he could have literally looked at and read in earnest. I’m not bell hooks … but I’m still cited by academic texts on race, gender, and connected social issues. When he didn’t have his head up his derriere about things he should have known before dating me, he was nice. He did say he was raised sheltered when we first met, he just should have added “I really wanted to stay that way”.  He even wanted me to make him a playlist – with perimeters! (Ex: “Can’t be visual, I should be able to only listen to it as I game”) – instead of just, I don’t know … look it up himself. Heck, he could have started with an audiobook of The Algorithms of Oppression by Safiya Noble and went from there. I named the playlist “Spoon-food Express“. He did listen to it, which is nice … and would have been better if he did the procuring himself.

If anyone is going “but it seems he learns after you point out these problems”, here’s the thing: He’s 30+ with a Ph.D. I don’t have a Ph.D in anything and I knew this stuff far better. And when I don’t know? I look it up myself. He’s old enough and educated enough to learn this by himself years ago. At least to know that saying “colored” is super outdated, among a bunch of other things.

If he was better about the cultural issues (bare minimum: not have a White-adjacent meltdown, take it upon himself to learn things as well as unlearn harmful ideas) and was more mature (at least learn how to do for himself, not have others do it as if still a kid), he would have been a brilliant bf because he had redeeming traits … but he decided that he didn’t want to do that. Yeah, there’s the therapy he’s doing, and the therapist has been very helpful, but, to be frank, I don’t date anyone to fix them. I try to fix the relationship, even if that includes getting the partner help, sure, but I dislike the whole “women are men’s emotional rehab” thinking that’s really common, which is why I found him a therapist. He had other issues that were outside these antics, which will not be talked about here because it’s 1000% not appropriate and those issues are not what has me burnt. For me, those issues were really manageable but the prejudice stuff is not. It would have been better if he found the therapist himself but nope, that’s not what happened. And he should have known how to better navigate social issues like this instead of falling back on his deeply rooted internalized racism. That’s something anyone and everyone (including PoC) can do without the help of a therapist. If someone is above the age of 5, they can learn how to unlearn this stuff. I mean, I had to learn what prejudice was when I was far younger and through experience, not soft-hearted explanation, so anyone of practically any age can learn how to not do it. Especially a 30+ adult with a Ph.D.

Like I said, I have had relationships fail – because every relationship fails until one doesn’t – but this was a doozy of an experience. Any Asian diaspora readers here, please come collect your kin. And Happy Asian American/Pacific Islander (AAPI) Heritage Month! Everyone, please go read the longstanding blog Angry Asian Man. I came across it in college, been reading it since.

That’s basically it in the world of Black Witch. I have gotten questions and such so there will be an Ask Black Witch: While I Was Gone edition. I also will have stuff for The Arts because I came across neat art and such while I was gone.

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