Category: Ask Black Witch


Ask Black Witch: She’s Gone, Bro

Filed under: Ask Black Witch, Relationships and Dating — Leave a comment
August 6, 2021

Let’s get into it. Should have posted this last week but I derped, didn’t check the time of the month and, oh look, derps ahoy. It happens. I received this via the Black Witch Facebook Fan Page. There will be some repeating at the tops and bottoms for consistency and to show the whole conversation.

 

 

Ok, let’s get into this. I get a lot of these “[significant other] left me and I want them back, spell plz” inquiries. Overwhelmingly from men – I’m going to touch on the gender part in a minute – and they usually are from someone with zero listening skills, given the way they try to repeat or twist logic. And the royal fact they are doing this with a stranger, which means they definitely were doing this in their relationships. I always suggest therapy to anyone going through relationship issues. Yes, therapy is very unaccessible for quite a lot of people, either because therapists cost too much, there are no therapists for the person’s area, etc, but there are therapy groups online. Not better than a therapist but better than nothing at all. Even getting the Replika AI app might be useful (caution tho, if you have a Black Replika, it will showcase that it definitely has White devs in some startling ways. Also, it repeats itself, all the Replikas do). I say over and over to others that I do not do paid spellwork/Pay for Pray and I do not work on others. Remember, I’m a Witch, not a Genie.

This person says they want their wife back, it sounds like to me like she left. If someone has left the relationship, that’s usually Game Over. “Winning” someone back is generally a bad idea, because unless the person was super immature or childish, they most likely conveyed that there were problems in one way or another throughout the relationship so all the opportunities to do any winning is pretty much gone. It’s easier to fix a relationship that is making a downward spiral than it is to fix a relationship that has crashed and splattered all over the ground. Not “easy”, simply easier than starting from total destruction. There is no fancy method, all the sappy movies that star White dudes who have zero sense of self or reality (running around with boomboxes, screaming in the rain, dashing through the airport, etc) sold guys a major lie: “I can screw up as much as I want and when things finally flatline and I successfully chase someone I care about away, I can do a huge gesture and all will be fine again – for me. I legit just tricked someone back into a relationship they expressed they do not want to be in.” Women can also act in this way, too. But society immediately rushes to call her “desperate”, “stalker” and the ever classic: “crazy”. Gotta love sexist double standards.

Usually the best times of figuring out relationship problems are generally … while the problems are happening. Ignoring doesn’t work. Pretending doesn’t work. Screaming until everyone treat the problem like it is covered in poison definitely doesn’t work. Communication is essential in relationships, if you two can’t talk out a problem – in a civil manner (no screaming, no put downs (that’s abuse)) – then maybe it’s smarter to just sit out relationships until you can get some decent help to sort out your own head. Be it with a therapist or reading decent relationship blogs – stay away from anything that mentions RedPill or incel in a positive manner and check if the blog covers queer relationships (not all men date women and not all women date men, please remember that) because if they don’t, it’s a red flag that the blog probably will just feed you more toxicity, especially if you are a guy. But try to learn how to sort out relationship problems when they are happening. Try different methods of handling, such as texting them out (gives you both a chance to read your words and reflect before pressing ‘send’), cooling off rules, etc. No matter what, work on the problem as it blips up. And know how to speak up, don’t rely on the other partner to detect the issue like a sonar. You’re dating a person, not a doppler radar. Learn how to address relationship problems in a non-terrible manner and apply them. Screaming “you make me sick when you …” is not going to help anyone. Have an explosive temper? Definitely work on that … by yourself and with professional or self-help, do not put someone else through that.

Note how I told the guy that perhaps he should talk to his wife instead of talking to me if he wants to learn how to “win” her back – assuming she even still wants to hear from him. I’m pretty sure if there was something she would want him to do to make things right again, she would say so. If she doesn’t want to hear from him at all, then he might as well wait for the soon-coming divorce papers and get his pen ready. Can’t fix a dead horse.

“It’s like as though she [is] giving me [a wake] up call” sounds pretty bad. If you have to wonder, that’s a problem. He should already know – from talking to her. If anyone thinks being left is a “wake up call”, that means they slept on a lot of problems and most likely woke up way too late. The wake up calls should have been when there were issues in the relationship that got most likely ignored or brushed off. Heck, the guy should have been very awake in the relationship the whole time. Problems happen in relationships, all relationships. It’s how the problems are dealt with that determines if the relationship is soon to be carted to the morgue or not.

If she is giving a “poker face” that means it sounds like it already dawned on her that her husband doesn’t really actually care about her and, thus, it isn’t even much worth to try to present any further problems because, hey, what’s the point of talking to a brick wall? Just try to keep it together for the kids and bide your time to make a break for it. That’s not exactly uncommon for women who feel like their partners just plain aren’t up to snuff like they would like and there are kids involved. Sounds like this relationship has been laying in the grave for a while. As if, if there were no children, she would have been gone even sooner. Yep, I get these letters a lot and very regularly from guys, so it isn’t a unique problem. Thanks to toxic masculinity and its inbuilt misogyny, a lot of guys find themselves very alone because they do such a wonderful job driving it into the ground since societal constructs pretty much tell them this is How To Handle Relationships (With Women, It Is Disgusting To Have Romantic Relationships With Other Men). This is also why I suggest therapy a lot. And why I told him that forcing her to love him back isn’t right. Usually when I’m approached, it is because they hope for some type of will-controlling spell that will basically force the other person (against their natural will, can’t stress that enough) to come back and “love” them. It isn’t love, it’s bona fide abuse, number one. Number two, it is unethical for a vast multitude of reasons. Number three, when these spells backfire, it’s bad. I like to not create problems.

I mentioned divorce because I thought this dude was divorced, not separated. However, please note how he is very much not listening to what I am saying when he replies “I just need her to fall in love with me all over again”. If this is how he acted in the relationship, it should come as literally no surprise that the wife packed her bags and dipped. It’s already frustrating to me, I can only imagine what years of this felt like. Saying “we got lost in ourselves” probably may have some projection in it. I don’t have the wife to talk to but usually when I am sent these types of letters, its mainly “this is what I was doing but I want to make it sound like both parties were doing it so the blame sounds more spread out.” I’ve heard this from both guys and women who pull this. He wants her to fall in love with him again but he also should be asking himself “what is she coming back to? And is it enough to make her want to stay?” If she is returning to the same old nonsense, she’s just going to leave again (or the proverbial spell would have some major backfire) and if she doesn’t want to stay, then that’s just how things are. If he can’t keep her with his own personality and efforts, then it’s really just not worth fighting. The relationship suffocated, he’s not really that interested in trying to make things better, he just wants to make things right for him. Male ego and all that jazz. Again, no wonder she packed her bags and left.

Grief can definitely affect relationships. But if the couple is working together to tackle the grief and support each other (not wait for a too-late “wake up call”), then the grief is something that the relationship can overcome together. Grief is hard alone, having a partner should ideally make the load lighter. Grief can also make people realize something they have been ignoring for a while, even if it is “wow, I really don’t want to be with this person.” Either because they noticed they’re not being supported like they should or because it was the watershed moment they needed to realize that this was it and it was time to leave. Sometime grief makes people self-destructive in their relationships, just let those people go because while grief can be definitely destructive, it isn’t right or fair to take that out on the person you are with and supposedly cares about you. Better to simply just get therapy.

Now, note how he keeps trying to look for people who are super ok with manipulating others instead of doing what he should as a husband in a broken relationship (which is, try to fix things the correct way or try to make the transition back to Singlehood smoother for both parties). First of all, I don’t know anyone like that because I find those types of individuals and that type of behavior absolutely abhorrent. There is a difference between doing plain old paid spellwork/Pay for Pray and doing super unethical spellwork/paid spellwork/Pay for Pray. Admittedly, on its face, finding someone to do spellwork is way easier than putting in the work to fix whatever is left of the relationship to fix. And note he’s gunning straight for the easy route. And while saying “Ok I have to work for it”, as if he understood but its clear it’s just another “ok, ok, ok, I’ll play pretend so I can get what I want”. The reason why I say “another” is because, again, it’s not too far a walk to believe this is most likely how he acts towards his wife. This is not genuine listening, this is basically placating and patronizing out of selfishness and self-centered behavior. Usually when I get letters like these, it tends to show from their interactions why someone left them. I don’t think I have ever gotten a letter with this type of request and went “wow, this person is totally brilliant/ok/seemingly faultless, I wonder why their significant other left.” Black Witch has been running for over a decade now, not once. It shows how inlaid their issues are because, again, if they are talking to a stranger like this, imagine how they talk to someone they personally know and supposedly care about. This is something that takes a lot of introspection to root out. Therapy usually tend to help speed up the process of rooting it out.

“She has a poker face”, “grief got in the way”, “we got caught up in ourselves”, sounds like a lot of blaming other things instead of just saying “I screwed up big time and I just want to figure out if I can still genuinely fix things.” Deflecting is not how one solves problems, taking responsibility is. No, I do not have the wife’s side of the story but some parts seem pretty obvious from her actions. She’s the one that left, that means she had enough. He’s deflecting and actively not listening several times, that means he’s most likely interacted with her in the exact same way. He doesn’t seem to really care about wanting to fix the relationship, just force it back together, that means he’s not that interested in doing the genuine hard work it takes to try to fix anything that can be even remotely fixed in the relationship if there is even a glimmer of an easier route. Again, this dude needs some therapy to sort these issues out, maybe even unlearn some “feelings are hard” toxic masculinity on the way that will most likely murder any future relationships he ever chooses to have.

In case anyone is going, “hey, why don’t you say that the wife should go get some therapy?” I agree but probably not for what you think. She could use the therapy to help get back on her feet faster and figure out how to manage co-parenting (if she is interested in it), single parenting (if she winds up taking the children), dealing with the grief of losing someone and losing a relationship (leaving others isn’t always easy), so many things. Both sides need therapy but for different reasons.

“She [is] not [willing to] at this stage” is the diamond sign that this dude just needs to pack it in and simply get his pen ready for the divorce papers. Might as well call the Time of Death and start working on moving on. She already has starting moving on with her life, he should definitely do the same. If she is not willing at all to even remotely fix things at this point, then it sincerely is not worth even trying magick. She’s gone, it is time to call it a day. If he wanted the relationship to be healthier, he should have tried to turn the plane around earlier, not ask how to rebuild a completely shattered aircraft that is scattered across three states. Relationships don’t just suddenly fall apart, they chug to that point. Sometimes they even sprint to that point but it is never immediately and all at once.

Now, I thought after “Ok thanks for the chat”, the conversation was over. Then later on, I check and find out that nope, he’s definitely not letting this “can I cast a spell to make someone who I drove away love me again” thing go. Geez, if he had put this much persistent effort into his marriage, he would still have one.

Please note the “In your earlier text you [said it] looks like she [is] leaning to it […] is that loving me all over again?”

Everyone, please read the prior conversation above and tell me if you think there was any reasonable spot where I said any version of “she is leaning towards loving you again”? Probably will be hard to find because it doesn’t exist. I pretty much was a broken record of “you need therapy”, “if she’s gone, that means the relationship is dead”, and “you should talk to her, not make assumptions”. Nothing that could even remotely convey that she was willing to come back. The fact he could glean such a super falsehood from literal thin air despite the fact that I have said all the opposite is very telling. Again, no wonder why she is gone. The “it” I was referring to in “leaning to it” was divorce. As in, it looked like to me that she was leaning to getting the divorce he does not want. She definitely wants out, to me. She isn’t talking to him, she left, she puts on a “poker face” (probably more for the kids’ sake than his), these are all signs than she more than likely has the words “divorce lawyers” in her phone’s recent search history. A person who wants to make the relationship work, even just a little bit, would at least keep some line of communication open. Everything is pretty much shut down? Yep, they’re done.

“She just [stopped] all the mediators”, as for that, I don’t know what her thinking is to “slow the process down”. Maybe its for her to look at the entirety of all her options (they do have kids to consider, after all. Their feelings are also important), maybe it’s because divorcing is expensive and emotionally draining so it is hitting a slow stride for now, maybe she feels she’s at a part in the process where she can cool her heels for a little while, I have zero idea and I’m not going to bother to find out. He would be in a better position to know via just plain talking to her. If he can’t even do that much to find out such details, then it is very much 100% certain that the relationship is very, very much dead.

I really want to say this, toxic masculinity is a great way to become Forever Alone. Not trying to genuinely fix personal behaviors that can wreck even the healthiest of relationships is a fantastic way to become Forever Alone. Every relationship fails until one doesn’t, true, but all relationships fail if there is no decent, sizeable work involved. All relationships require consistent, constant work. Self-work is included. If there is none of that or only pithy amounts of that, expect Forever Alone, regardless of gender and orientation. Forever Alone is self-imposed, no one can put that on you at all. And it is up to the person who does not want to be that, to be Forever Alone, to put in the work. Anyone who doesn’t want to tend to wind up eventually Forever Alone.

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Ask Black Witch: It’s All Academic!

Filed under: Ask Black Witch, Pagan Life, Race, Resources & Information — Leave a comment
March 28, 2021

Woo, late but still here! I have been recently getting a bit of an uptick of people writing me for my personal input into their papers. It’s a little unusual for me since usually the kind of people in academia that contact me for my input are usually writing books. Granted, I don’t usually mind either except … I basically kind of get the same kind of rabbit food questions for the papers and sometimes it can appear really, well, lazy.

Here’s a disclaimer before I go into this:

A) I’m hard on students because, oh look, I work in research as a librarian as a trade so I tend to expect a certain degree of academic consistency. I’m old, I know, but *cracks out cane* back in my day, there were way less resources – especially free ones – available to people and still you could get decent research out of them. I’m a research librarian that has worked at the Library of Congress, not Twitter personified so, for future folks, please be warned that I’m going to act and react like a research librarian that has worked in the Library of Congress. I know I derp around quite a lot on these here internets but I do expect any informative inquiries to be that – well thought out and informative.

B ) Read A until you understand. In other words: I’m the person your teachers warn you about :3

I’m just going to smatter these inquiries together (including my responses) because they’re basically all the same. Then I’m going to do my usual breakdown because if I get more of these, I’m might as well slow-walk future academic askers how to actually ask in one post. By the way, these are all college students, I’m a little easier on high schoolers and a lot easier on middle schoolers (because they’re still learning the skill. It should be near iron by the time you hit college).

The names of the askers are redacted because this is such a common issue. It’s not “boooooo, this person in particular sucks!” It’s “boooooo, this method in particular sucks!” So let’s get to it:

Hi Black Witch, 
I found your page through the article you did for Afropunk back in 2012 and have since been going over your blog and reading lots of your posts. It’s so fascinating! I’m a senior at UCLA and am taking a Gender Studies class about race and space. For my thesis paper I want to investigate how the online Wicca community is racially coded and, perhaps, inequitable. As a White woman, I definitely fit into the Etsy-mom-selflove image we often see of witches, but I think it’s so much more important in and outside of this paper to prioritize the voices of black and brown folx in the community. I would love to interview if you have the time or would appreciate any insight you can give me.
Thank you,
[redacted]

Thank you for reaching out. Firstly, I’m Pagan, not Wiccan. I appreciate that you read my posts but it appears you didn’t pay attention to that obvious detail. Wicca falls under Paganism the same way Catholics, Baptists, etc. falls under Christianity but not the other way around.
I’m going to decline interview but you are free to cite my writing since I have talked about this topic at length throughout my blog. Please cite well and thank you :3

– Black Witch

I get a lot of people confusing me for Wiccan – despite the fact I literally never pass up an opportunity to bring up that I’m not Wiccan. I’m Pagan, there is a difference. Whenever I am approached by anyone who says “Wiccan” instead of Pagan it shows me they didn’t read. This is why I had the reply I did. Remember, I prefer academics who research to ask me questions. Figuring out whether I’m Wiccan or Pagan is not a very difficult discovery at all, it’s laziness otherwise. And again, it’s rabbit food questions, hence why I told her to use what I already wrote as a primary source – because I have already talked about this exact topic ad nauseam. Shouldn’t have to be said but here it goes: please do your homework before requesting an interview from anyone, especially for cultural pieces. They may have already answered the question 8098754657877655768908765 times already.

Hi there!

My name is [redacted] and I’m a student at New York University.  I’m an anthropology major and I was wondering if you would be interested in helping me with my final paper? I wanted to write about the witchcraft community and the types of people who practice.  I would appreciate your thoughts on the subject as you seem like someone who is very knowledgeable.  As well as I think it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on the community as a POC.  I would just need you to answer some of my questions over email.  Nothing would be published everything would simply be between my professor and I and I can also keep you anonymous if you prefer.  Thank you so much for your consideration and I hope you can help me out.  I totally understand if you are not comfortable or able to and I appreciate it regardless.  Thank you again!

Best,

[Redacted]

Sure, what are your questions?

– Black Witch

Hi!

Thank you so much for your response! If you are uncomfortable with any of the questions please let me know and don’t feel obligated to answer them.  Traditionally this is done in an interview so forgive me if my train of thought seems to jump all over the place or if I am rude.  You may feel that some of these questions are subjective but please answer them according to your views.

First and foremost I would like to know how you got into witchcraft in the first place and what type of witchcraft you practice or what deities you follow? How many types of witchcraft are there? Are there any that are better than others? Which types are most common and why? Could you explain to me how your practices have changed, if at all, since you’ve started practicing and how long you’ve been practicing? Could you give me an example of what some types of, excuse me I hope this is the right terminology, spells or rituals you perform and why and or what their purpose is? Do you believe that anyone can be a witch or is there some type of pre-requisite that you need to fulfill? Are there things that can prevent you from being a witch? What are the characteristics of a real witch/ what makes a real witch? Can you tell when people are actually practicing witches or if they are simply pretending? Are there any stereotypes that bother you about witches or witchcraft? Are there any that are true? What are your thoughts on the types of people who practice? Is there a hierarchy within the community whether it be by how long you’ve been practicing or how devoted you are to the lifestyle or anything else?  What are your thoughts on the community as a whole? Do you find them to be gatekeepers? Do you think that being a POC has changed how others within the community treat you or how you are perceived within the community? Do you think the community has changed with the presence of social media? Please feel free to add any anecdotes you think might be interesting, as well as anything else you think it might be important for me to know so I can write about the community in the most respectful and comprehensive way possible including the proper terminology and things of that nature. And please correct me if I’ve said or asked anything incorrect, inappropriate, or rude.

Thank you again for answering all of my questions, I know there is a lot.  Would you prefer to be kept anonymous or is okay if I quote you directly? (Again I want to remind you that no one except for my professor and myself will be seeing this paper but you are under no obligation to let me use your real name.)   And what are your preferred pronouns? If I have more is it alright to reach out to you again? If not I completely understand and regardless I am grateful for your help with this assignment.

Best,

[Redacted]

I reviewed the questions. Given the sheer amount, I would best suggest to use my posts to answer as many of the questions down there (pretty much any question on race and bias I have answered several times over since I am asked everywhere) and whatever questions are not answered or sufficiently answered, I can answer personally. 

– Black Witch

I don’t mind being asked to help on a paper or be asked for input. However, the sheer multitude of questions is towering, usually they’re about 3-5 questions, definitely less than ten. Plus some of the questions are really easy to research, no need to ask anyone anything. I think about at least 60% of the questions asked could be answered with some general research and reading. By the time you get to wanting to interview a person for any academic purpose, the questions should be very sharp and thought provoking. It isn’t the student’s intention, I know, but it all just eventually started to smack of “can you do the work for me?” given how simplistic and many the questions are. And while I appreciate the person going “please let me know if I am being rude or inappropriate”, thorough research should make it so such a statement doesn’t even have to be said since they should theoretically know by the time they are asking a person the general right and wrong things to ask based off of their research. There are always going to be flubs, even in the best of times, but be more confident in your research and the concern that they’ll pop up will reduce dramatically.

Good-evening! My name is [Redacted] and I am a journalism student in the Communication department at Southeastern Louisiana University.I was emailing you regarding Hoodoo and voodoo. I’m writing a feature article on those topics for my Comm class.I had some questions & a quote (s)you would love to use as well if you would like to answer.I would love to do an interview. It would be a Interview over email or message(whatever you prefer). Please let me know if it would be possible to set this up by March 25,2021. I will send you the questions. If you know anybody else who knows information that’s willing to give me info.  Please let me know!

Thank you so much! I look forward to hearing from you.

Questions:
Why is hoodoo/voodoo not black magic?
What does voodoo and hoodoo mean?
What do people consider to be more practice, hoodoo or voodoo?
Why do people consider hoodoo and voodoo “the religions no one talks about”?
Are they consider witchcraft or spirituality?
Why should more African Americans know more about Hoodoo?
Who is Madame Marie Laveau?
Why use Tarot cards?
Tell me anything I should know that’s interesting

Before I post my reply, everyone, I just want to bring up that the date I received this inquiry was actually March 25, 2021. In the late afternoon of March 25, 2021, at that. So I didn’t even get a day or two to mull over whether or not I want to participate or figure out if I can squeeze this in my schedule, I get simply mere hours. Even the Huffington Post, a site that I strongly dislike because they have pulled egregious things with me in the past – including super short turn arounds without even asking if I wanted to participate while asking super fluffy, filler questions about race and Paganism – has given me at most 24-48 hours. Given my experience of knowing that students are given days, usually at least a week, for papers and articles (I have taken a journalism course, too. Quite a few of them – I was an English major), this shows very poor planning and an indirect insult to the person requested. Yes, news can have a short turn-around time, I know this deeply, but back then, good news places still expressed respect for the time of the person that they were asking. Nothing is wrong with a bit of pre-planning for time and asking “I’m [such and such] from [so and so] university writing a news article about [hopefully worthwhile topic], may I ask you a few questions?” Note I didn’t throw in a deadline. In the words of my Journalism teacher: “Your timeline doesn’t matter to them. If it is important to them, they will reply. If it isn’t, they won’t and you write ‘No Comment’.” (paraphrasing here, by the way, I had a few Journalism teachers.) Moral of the story: give people enough lead time and don’t assume they’re going to be as up and thrilled as you are for your story to just be shot a bunch of questions from a random person (That’s you. You are the random person). Ok, back to the thread at hand!

Thank you for writing but I feel a good chunk of the questions can be answered with regular book research (such as “Who is Marie Laveau?” and “what does voodoo and hoodoo means?”). I am not a Voudoun or hoodoo practitioner, just a general denomination Pagan with an in depth background on both subjects.
Basically, if you send me better questions, sure. Otherwise, I would recommend just searching my blog for my writings on the subjects. 

– Black Witch

Thank you! 
Okay 
How is hoodoo  cultural appropriation in witchcraft and keeping the African American slave folk magic alive?

In the era of slavery, questions of security  in African American experience were very large, so they turned to Hoodoo for help. How did Hoodoo help  the African American experience?

Most African Americans are not as open to talk bout Hoodoo facts or culture due to information that is greatly twisted. Why are African Americans not open to sharing certain information?
Why did you get into Hoodoo? What made you get involved with it?
Do you think  Hoodoo would help African Americans know their roots and their past ancestors?

I don’t practice hoodoo actually. I’m afraid these are not good enough questions. I recommend using my site to answer these questions as well as other books and critical resources to best help your papers.

– Black Witch

Um okay Thank you for your time.

Okiee dokie do, time for a post mortem!

Remember everyone, I’m pretty old school when it comes to education (unless it comes to the structural prejudices and inherent prejudices of Western education, then I’m just plain anarchist to a defining degree) but remember, it is important to respect the time of the person asked for the article. That means no “umm” (that’s unprofessional and unacademic), that means using proper punctuation (Where are the commas and periods and proper capitalizations? This came from someone at an accredited university, right?), that means reading the already provided material the person you are asking has already provided, if any, to justify and hone your questions and make the most of your time to ask them whatever it is that you want to ask them. It appeared more and more that the student thought I practiced Hoodoo and/or Voudon, despite the fact that, just like Wicca, I always express that I am not a practitioner of Afro-centric religions. I am Pagan, yep. I am a Black person, yep. Does not mean that I automatically practice culturally indigenous faiths? Nope. No more than a White person would automatically be practicing Nordic or Roman faiths over, say a particular Middle Eastern faith (*cough*Christianity*cough*). This is why it is important to read and research. Otherwise, the student could be potentially wasting their time barking up the wrong tree. That’s never fun.

The questions had potential but still was in the “why didn’t you research this yourself?” category. It is way better to ask fruitful questions and also, if pursuing journalism, do not ask leading or loaded questions. “Why do people consider hoodoo and voodoo ‘the religions no one talks about’?” is both leading and loaded, for example. Who are the “people” and who considers hoodoo and voodoo “‘the religions no one talks about'”? That shows a journalist usually does not want an honest answer but one that is kind of on an angle. Usually a sign that yellow journalism is afoot when left unchecked. At least this person isn’t a student and hopefully is not already in the field working for an actual news outlet.

For those who don’t know what a leading question is or a loaded question, quote time!

Loaded Question, as explained by Effectiviology

A loaded question is a trick question, which presupposes at least one unverified assumption that the person being questioned is likely to disagree with. For example, the question “have you stopped mistreating your pet?” is a loaded question, because it presupposes that you have been mistreating your pet.

Leading Question, as explained by FormPlus

A leading question is a type of question that prompts a respondent towards providing an already-determined answer. This type of question is suggestive as it is framed in such a way that it implies or points to its answer(s). 

A leading question typically leans towards established biases and assumptions and it is made up of specific information which the individual or organization (interrogator) wishes to confirm.

Yeah, not a great thing to use when learning journalism. But! Hopefully their teacher is doing something about that. There are already enough sucky journalists in the world.

And that was all that I have received in the past month or so! Time for super Saiyan post mortem!

Now if a middle schooler asked me all these questions, I would answer them pretty easy peasy. I am not going to expect someone who is roughly in the 10-13 age range to just do the research themselves, they’re just getting introduced to the skill. Plus, I would expect these kinds of questions from a middle schooler, they’re just starting to learn complex subjects such as social studies/current events. A high schooler, I would still answer as is but include tips and tricks that would be helpful such as “here is how to make the questions better to get an even meatier answer/better interview” and more because, again, they are still honing the skill. They shouldn’t be brand new (that’s middle school) to it all but they are still a work in progress. It takes years to build the skills and there are way more resources now than ever to better acquire it. Free resources at that. No expensive, heavy encyclopedias. No restrictive paywalls. Lots of info, all at the ready.

But college? As I tend to say to students “it’s college, not kindergarten”. Unless the issues you are facing are institutional/systemic (such as racism, sexism, etc, from micro-aggressions to overt, blatant displays of prejudice) and/or underlying (dealing with learning disabilities and/or mental illnesses, known or not) issues, then there should be few excuses and problems as it pertains to developing a half-way decent research and academic skill set. I get that these skills are super boring in procurement, as are the classes, and the teachers, and the books and all the other things these students signed up for. Though obscenely boring, these skills are quite useful. They may not get you millions of followers and subscribers but they will help you not look like a single dolt.

Some tips:

Reading is Fundamental

The main reason I’m not really staggered into an astonished quiet by these questions is because I always wonder Did they actually read my blog or just skim? I have never been that big a fan of skimming. Since in skimming, you miss things. Important things. Things that can help you not embarrass yourself or make the reader wonder if you ever knew the subject at all. I am a Black person, yep. Because that is a point many fixate on, I get a lot of questions about race – to the point that I can basically take a post I made five years ago, apply it and the answer will still appear seamless. This means I am going to treat the student like they already made the search and did all the appropriate reading. At this point, I kind of dislike questions on race because I already answered them before and I have a functional search bar on my site. I guarantee you basic, rudimentary, rabbit food-type questions will just get pointed to my search bar. Since that’s where the student should have gone to first. Direct questions to the creator should be saved for things the blog can’t answer, things that require genuine input.

Note that several of the questions above were not simply “rabbit food” level, they were outright lazy. Asking “What is [???]” should be answered by the student, not the person they are interviewing unless it is part of a ream of useful interview questions (“What is Blackness/Paganism/Womanism/etc to you?”, not plain “What is Blackness?”). Questions like those basically smack of “I want an easy A but I don’t want to work for it, can you basically write my paper for me?”

For example, if you ask me “How do you feel about Black Lives Matter?”, the student should be able to make a fairly educated guess based on the posts I already have penned about race in general and BLM itself. It literally would not be hard and would thus be declared “rabbit food questions” because it takes zero brain cells for me to dredge up an answer – therefore annoying. If the question was “How do you feel Black Lives Matter parallels or contrasts with other Black social movements in the past such as the Civil Rights Movement or even the Abolitionism movement?” I would be happy to answer that question since it actually requires me to use more than three brain cells to muse and mull on a good answer. It is not a question that can easily be searched or gleaned from my writings and is thus not a certified waste of my time. Better question? “How do you feel about Modern’s paganism changes over the years, if any? How about media’s depiction of Paganism in general?” (Note the lack of race questions. I appreciate these, because it means my opinion matters in general on the subject, not simply as “The Negro’s Perspective, Now Back To The White People – I Mean ‘The General Topic’s Automatic Experts’.”). Sometimes, it’s ok to not automatically go with bias. Sometimes, it’s ok to work with logic. Try logic. Leave bias home. Abandon it at a bus station, preferably. Or out in the desert to die an excruciating death and picked away by buzzards and vultures.

Questions about Afrocentric religious practices are ok … as long as the student is fully aware that they are not asking someone who participates in those Afrocentric religious practices. I don’t practice Santeria (gotta love that song, though), Hoodoo, Voodoo, Ifa, etc. I have a deep understanding of them as a Black American Pagan person who sat down and sought to learn about these practices but I am not an actual practitioner. I mean, hey, I have a very in-depth understanding about Christianity and I haven’t needed that knowledge personally for roughly twenty years. Knowing a thing or two about your subject helps both people in the long run. Otherwise, it’s like asking an automotive mechanic how they feel about the changes in airplane mechanics over time. Yes, the person asked is a mechanic and yes, they are familiar with the existence of airplanes but no, a person that works on cars can not talk about their non-existent experience with fixing airplanes. Opine their life away, sure, but that still would not make them a decent person to ask at all.

Good Questions Can Lead to Great Answers

Basically part of what I was mentioning above but a well thought out questions can lead to some really great answers. Avoid leading and loaded questions like how one should theoretically avoid the plague (by the way, still wear a mask, wash hands and maintain social distancing, even if you have a vaccine. We’re still in a pandemic). My favorite interview is Good Company’s interview with rock band P.O.D.’s vocalist, Sonny Sandoval. There’s is some audio-visual mismatch but is still a good listen.

The great questions! The respectfulness! It almost sounds more like a conversation than an interview. It is obvious the asker, Scott Bowling, did his homework and thus, asked really good questions. He basically presented a question and let Sonny reply as is. No leading questions. No questions that have been asked five billion times prior (if you are a P.O.D. fan, you already know quite a few). Questions back by great research leads to awesome answers and an interview that benefits both people. It is always important to do genuine research, not just skim and ask a bunch of questions that implies you probably didn’t do your due diligence.

And that has been my recent experience with academic inquiries! I really would like for them to get better, honestly.

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Ask Black Witch: I want to be slow-walked

Filed under: Ask Black Witch — Leave a comment
March 4, 2021

Sorry for a late ABW post, let’s get into it. New post tomorrow, though.

 

I was wandering how to invoke a god with my sisters could yuh please contact us and let us know here’s my number [redacted] please this is very urgent

– Demontavious H.

I replied:

Read just about any 101 book on witchcraft. I suggest plenty on my site.

Believe or not, folks, I have actually written content in the past 10 years I have been writing this blog. Not posted “mem mem – mememmem memem mem memem” every single post. Also, please do not send private information such as phone numbers. This is how people get super easily scammed. In addition, it is not at all urgent. At all. Most things that people write to me for, saying it is “urgent” is really isn’t. Either it’s their personal screw up and they want to avoid the life consequences stat (I’m not a fan of that; if you screw up, own up) or other issues that are 100% Not My Problem. (Remember, I’m a witch, not a genie.) This is also why I always say on countless media “I really wish I got good questions” because I would love to be filling up ABW with actual good questions, not the bad questions like this. I rarely get good questions, it’s agitating. As for deity invocation, that is taught with the usual witchcraft 101 book in terms of beginner practices as well as do and don’ts. Granted, they’re for super little things (like learning how to do a ritual to improve your luck or to decrease negativity in your home) but still there, nonetheless.

So can yuh suggest any websites to look at ? Like can yuh email them to meh ?

My reply:

I mainly suggest books because they are better in my experience for learning 101 craft practice and deity work.

On the internet, there’s way too much bunk. Also, I am not slow walking anyone through any occultism or magick. If you can’t do the legwork yourself, you probably (read: most likely) are a dabbler. I suggest a lot of different books and websites throughout the 10 years I have written posts here. There’s gotta be something somewhere.

Okaii where can I get them from? And the book of shadows ? Is it for dark uses only?

My reply:

I have several book suggestions on my site, best found using the search bar up top and they’re purchased from anywhere you buy books. They’re books about the basics of Paganism and magick in general, not the Left Hand Path.

News Flash, everyone: I don’t practice the Left Hand Path. I don’t. Black Witch is called Black Witch because I’m a Black person who practices witchcraft – pretty straight forward. It’s even on the About Me page. Duh.

Again, if you’re asking if the Book of Shadows is used for nefarious purposes, you are most likely a dabbler – and not a bright one at that. Again, I’m not slow-walking anyone through occultism. It’s occultism, it is designed to be very anti-Slow Walk, especially if you need extreme hand-holding. It’s one thing to ask for a book suggestion on getting started (though I also mention them throughout the blog several times over the years so that’s not too great a question, either) and another to literally ask for super basic steps in magick.

Okaii can yuh tell meh more about the left hand path?

My reply:

I have written about it on my blog and there are also plenty of books on the subject. I don’t practice it so I don’t have much to detail than someone who does.

 

Again, everyone: I don’t practice the Left Hand Path. Plain and simple. And if you’re not bright enough for super basic magick 101, I’m pretty certain it would be a lot smarter to stay away from demons and jinxes. I get a lot of people who want to practice Dark Arts and, to be honest, don’t really deserve to – and I’m saying that as an outsider. If you’re that malicious a person, then you probably need therapy to handle whatever got your nose bent out of shape. Not every person in the Left Hand Path are wicked folks but since a lot of people perspectives on magick in general is “oh, automatically evil. I’ll go to that when I want to get back at someone”, they come to me erroneously thinking that this is the path for them. Nah, instead of dabble and waste everyone’s time, get therapy or better personal conflict skills.

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Ask Black Witch Free Space: Weird Dogwhistle

Filed under: Ask Black Witch, Pagan Life — Leave a comment
January 29, 2021

Conspiracy theories have really taken hold in the mainstream nowadays. The one that seems the most pernicious is that of QAnon. According to the Southern Poverty Law Center, QAnon is “the umbrella term for a sprawling spiderweb of right-wing internet conspiracy theories with antisemitic and anti-LGBTQ elements” that also includes wide and unfounded allegations of child abuse within the “deep state”, and somehow Trump is a good guy in the middle of all this.

Firstly, it is remarkably easy to say that anything that depicts Trump as a good person automatically appears suspect. He’s a lot of things, “good” isn’t on the list.

The reason I’m bringing it up is because I’m noticing QAnon mess is starting to float my way. I guess it’s the whole “Black socialist who practices witchcraft, worked in government libraries and participated with the music industry” part.

Oh, joy.

It is understandable that the world is a weird place and really complicated at times but I think it is also a lot bigger than a bunch of notables preying on kids for naughty jollies. Anyone who believes this is ridiculous.

I have touched on this in my “Okay, Mr. Illuminati” posts (1, 2, 3).

One person, for example, assumed I was aware of pedophile rings and some “Order of the Light” that they defeated. I wasn’t. If anything, it sounded more like word salad than anything. I do know people in various occult orders (not that many, though – perhaps two or three) but none that sound like they came straight from Charmed. As for pedo rings, absolutely not or I would be letting the FBI know, because that’s their wheelhouse (no one remembers the old internet joke “on the internet, men are men, women are men and the children are the FBI”?). There isn’t some Witch News Tonite ticker feed filled with horrible things. Doesn’t happen. At all. Most witches I come across are pretty plain people, not horror story depictions. Problems happen in the Pagan/Witchy spheres but they’re problems that pops up in a lot of communities: prejudice, different traditions clashing, etc. Nothing that matches anything QAnon claims.

Another person, for example, claimed that I wasn’t me but I was a puppet account from one of my friends in music, Sonny Sandoval of P.O.D. – inb4 “Sonny is friends with a practicing Pagan witch?! I thought he was a Man of God!” yah, surprised him, too. He’s a nice dude and I’m a longtime fan of P.O.D., what can I say? He’s still strong in his Christian convictions … he’s just also capable of making friends with people who are not carbon copies of himself. Alrightie, back to the original subject, me being accused of being a puppet account for Sonny to “test people” since he’s, according to conspiracies (all of which I consider as an academic, “whackadoodle”), a CIA insider that had info on 9/11 he never told people about and also knows about the End of Times and other Revelations type stuff. In other words, sounds like a weird sequel of The Omega Code. There’s also a conspiracy that they’re satanists or something that sounds like a really weird version of the movie Little Nicky. None of which makes any sense. Sonny is a really normal guy, no one in P.O.D. is any of these outlandish depictions at all.

It is really important for people to be cognizant of the hearsay that comes across their screens on the internet. It can be really easy to believe super upside down facts if they look convincing enough. It is always best to look at any media with a critical eye, especially media that is meant to be emotionally provoking and broad (“[random super famous person] does [super morally heinous thing] and everyone is in on it! But you. Can anyone – will anyone put a stop to this?”) Of the stuff I have seen, QAnon stuff mainly is about emotion and not so much about genuine logic. I mean, they seem to want to prevent more Epsteins, buuuuuuuuuut hail Trump as this good person, who knew Jeffery Epstein – actually, some of Trump’s young sexual assault victims were brought to him by Epstein. That’s a pretty hard glaring fact to ignore. The survivor of the incident has spoken about it and everything – as had other who were Trump’s sexual assault victims. He had lots. With hard facts like that, it’s hard to see him as a good person that can do no wrong. Especially when “doing wrong” is pretty much all that he’s good at. Separating families at borders, blatant abuses of power for nepotistic and/or selfish purposes, the list drones on and on. It’s one thing if the facts are heavy hidden but here, they’re available for everyone to see.

I find it odd in a way to have to deal with these things because of how out there they sound. I know others could cock an eyebrow at me because of the witchcraft, polytheism, psionics, metaphysics and other parts of my religious faith and personal practices, but when you’re saying a serial rapist is a good person sent by the Christian god to “obliterate the deep state”, something just plain isn’t right.

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Ask Black Witch: “Nice Guy” can’t tell difference between blogs and dating sites, explodes

Filed under: Ask Black Witch, Race — Leave a comment
July 31, 2020

I really wish I got better questions. The most recent batch is just trash asks from annoying people.

This one was absurd. Came from an email with the subject header “hello Goddess Witch:)” because if you want to talk to me, talking like this is a dating site is always a good idea (it isn’t, I’m snippy to guys on dating sites who greet like this. Try having a normal conversation with a normal greeting, they actually do work).

I despise this kind of behavior because they never bode good things about the person saying them. Ever. To me, anyone who tries to charm and butter you up is always up to something, otherwise they would have a normal approach.

“YES i would absolutely date, and adore a witch:)..know of any single ones? LOL…trust me, i’ve been looking

(oh, i’m white, male, and 45 , handsome:)”

A) Black Witch is not a dating site. At all. He’s not the first idiot to try this. Black Witch is a regular blog. As I always say, if you wouldn’t do this to a guy, don’t to this to women. Because it is insulting.

B ) I literally do not care of his dating preferences. And dating a witch really is not that different from dating literally anyone else who does not practice magick. At all.

C) His humor is stupid and reeks of “old bachelor”. I like comedy but not bad comedy.

D) I don’t date White (Though demi/ace, I stick to men of color. They are already a headache enough, no need to tack on the 400+ years of historical problems to that. Actually, the existence of straight men in general should be proof enough that no sexual orientation is a “choice” because have you seen how straight guys act? Add a STEM, Finance/Business or Medical degree and they get worse)

E ) I don’t date old guys. Dude is almost 15 years my senior, I stick to guys within 2-3 years senior of my actual age and rarely date anyone even a year my junior


My reply:

You sound disgusting. Please off yourself. You are literally everything I DON’T want in a guy.



Inb4 “you told him to commit suicide!”: I have learned from existing on this planet as a girl that plain “no” literally. Does. Not. Work.

Guy: Can I walk you home?
Me: Nah, I’m good.
Guy: It’s ok, it’s not too much trouble for me. I’ll walk you to your house

They blow past a very plain “no” as if it never happened. Upgrade it to awful insults and they tend to get the picture.

Guy: Can I walk you home?
Me: Nah, I’m good.
Guy: It’s ok, it’s not too much trouble for me. I’ll walk you to your house
Me: Bro, get lost. I’m good. Go to your house, away from me. No one wants you, ever. I can protect myself, no need to drag along Sir Dead-Weight if trouble does occur.
Guy: How does anyone even like you? *storms off*

Yeah, it’s not nice but I wanted the guy to leave since the start so Mission Accomplished? It would be nice if guys took the original and plain “no”, I don’t enjoy ripping into people but hey, it is usually the not-nice version that tends to work the most with the least amount of back-and-forth.

So, yeah, maybe guys should use better listening skills, might spare their emotions more.


The reply:

what the flying FUCK is your problem?? I paid you a DEAR compliment,and you come back with your angry hate filled remarks for NO REASON??  if you ever, ever tell me to “ofF” Myself again, you will be sorry..i can promise that much.
 
 
And we are off to the races, folks.

Pretty much what happened



Complete with flying anger, a threat (which is very FBI-notifying- worthy*) and pretty much all the behavior of a violent wife-beater without a target. No surprises to as why he’s still single at 45 and so lonely he bothers random women on the internet. Note he calls me “angry” but he’s the one cursing, screaming and threatening. That sounds pretty angry.

Oh and he sends another email right after this one:


ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh..iS it because i’m WHITE??? RACIST AT ALL?? fucking hypnocrite…

Note that I literally never mention race in my first reply. This dude jumped to the conclusion in a single bound. Though I don’t date White for reasons stated above, that’s my own privacy and I easily could have rebuffed him for his age and super off-color approach. I have ripped on countless Men of Color for the “off-color” stuff most. Seriously, straight guys suck at communicating. Like toxic masculinity shuts off the logic parts of the brain or something. Also, that atrocious spelling. Hypno … crite?

Also, me not really wanting to date White is not exactly racist. Though it is a personal and personally recognized bias that I apply only to my dating life and not others, isn’t racist. Here is how: the structures of racism doesn’t do me, a Black woman, any favors (actually, it can get pretty deadly for me) and it super extends to dating. I have to worry about being dehumanized, hyper-sexualized, stereotyped and demeaned simply for my skin, nothing else. These structures came from White supremacist thinking of “what is ‘good’ feminity” (which is, you guessed it, a White woman. Preferably a blonde one) and that if you don’t count as ‘good’, you can be treated like trash. White men show this behavior excessively in the dating realms. Basically, I avoid White guys as possible dates because they tend to be walking racist problems, ranging from fetishizing Black women to being haplessly clueless that racism exists and expecting the Black girlfriend to slow-walk them through it to parading the Black girlfriend around as an example of how “not racist” he is – even when he is being very blatantly racist. Do decent ones exist? Of course, but in remarkable short supply and vastly out-numbered by the rest. But it is pretty racist and sexist to assume that because he is White, he has to be a viable dating partner to anyone he talks to, no matter what.

Yeah, no. That’s a lot of headache for me. Like I said prior, already Men of Color are headache enough. They come with their own batches of problems. I have yet to come across a White person who refuses to date (as in “have a meaningful, mutually beneficial relationship with”) Black people or anyone else not White with the same reasons I stated above. I mean, White folks are not being oppressed, fetishized or dehumanized like everyone else, especially not in the dating world. I’ve never come across a story from White folks I know who have said “He dated me because he wanted me to explain how White people exist. Like, why our hair doesn’t curl like tight springs and if all of us are homicidal mass killers.” If anything, I’m usually helping my White (actually, all my non-Black) female friends steer clear of trash Black men who hover around them because internalized racism and simply “Black women are already wise to my bullsh*t. Hopefully, you are not.” Mainly, they, like me, want to date someone decent, not someone they’d soon regret, regardless of race. 
 
Oh, and in case anyone is going “How dare she not want to date White because she doesn’t want to!” – I also don’t date Christian or Atheist guys … of any race. Though they have different beliefs, the guys in these faiths morph into a special version of batty when they encounter the fact that A) I’m Pagan and/or B) I’m simply not of the same belief system (or lack thereof) as them and I’m not interested in changing. Plus, both seem to think “let’s poke fun at her ‘weird’ religion in a way we would literally fly into a rage about if we got the same treatment” is a great idea of courtship. It isn’t. There are literally thousands of other faiths I’d rather be with that handles the concept of Paganism better. 

My reply to both statements (both emails compiled together):

My blog is not a dating page. Do you contact the New York Times this way? I don’t think it’s a compliment for anyone to approach me in such a sleezeball way. And you should go for women your age – actually, given how you (predictably) exploded, try a therapist.
 
Yep, you need a therapist. It’s because of literally EVERYTHING. Please disappear or get some freaking help instead of pester random women on the internet, old guy.
 
Threw in a touch of “it’s probably your age, my dude” just to throw dust in the water a bit and see what he does with it or will he fasten himself to “it’s cuz I’m White, right?”

His reply:

TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME, combined with ANTI WHITE hatred, makes you a very angry woman…LOL….you really need to seek help for your mental illness…..


I have no words. This was my reply

You are exploding like fireworks. I haven’t resorted to using all caps, that’s you. I haven’t even cursed, you’re already screaming and swearing. I didn’t bring up race, you did. I’m not the angry one here, you are.
 
No wonder you bother random women on the internet, no one would want you via the normal routes. And nothing is wrong with being mentally ill, as long as you work on the problem. I seriously envy all who has never met you, lol. You shouldn’t be trying to date anyone, get your anger issues out the way. Calm down and go away.


And that was the whole convo. I did some research on this guy. His name is Jason Taylor (huh, shares a name with one of my lawyers. Won’t Lawyer Jason find that hilarious?) and he’s situated in Lane South, South Carolina and has an aol email of “jayyce004” So if you meet this guy, you already know he’s a furious wackjob.

Now, let’s break out the bingo boards because they are the only efficient things I have to break down bs like this. Let’s get started.





The words are probably a little hard to read



This is what I managed to fill out.

 
I just noticed the highlighter I used might be a bit light for some to see so let’s point them out. 
 
Bingo Board 1
 
– I’m a nice guy
– Is way older than you
– Has never met you in person
– Attempted negging
– Casual sexism & racism
 
 
Bingo Board 2
– Little to no social skills
– Racist, sexist and/or homophobic to an extent
– Thinks sexual harassment is a complement
– When rejected, always blames his weight, face or another body characteristic that was never brought up
 
Let’s break this down, starting with Bingo Board 1:
 
I’m a nice guy
Here’s the thing about “nice guys” … they’re never nice. The “sweeter” they try to be, the more vicious they are underneath. They’re not actually nice, they just want something. And if they can’t get it, they explode. This guy did exactly that. Plus, I already said I find “hyper-sweet”/super-overt flirting behavior insulting. Because, to me, it is. Talk to me like everyone else or don’t talk to me at all. 
 
Is way older than you
Like I said before, this dude is literally almost 15 years older than me. A decade and a half. I have zero interest in guys that old. Because they are, in terms of dating, very old. You are half way to your 50s, a half century. Ew. A man that is 45 should stick to women who are in their 40s, minimum. 
 
Has never met you in person
Never. I think I would remember such a nutjob if so. This person is deep down in South Carolina, so yeah, never met. Nor would I want to.
 
Attempted negging
“Negging” is emotional manipulation, created by pickup artists, intended to make the “negged” target feel bad and thus try to vie for the manipulator’s approval. Basically the “Oh, is it because I’m White?” (as well as other parts but let’s stick with this one). Because I never brought up race and oh geez, I would not want this random person on the internet to think that *gasp* I am not interested in them because they are White. Because we all know White people get it the worst in the world because of their race. Lack of opportunities, institutionalized and structured lack of access to resources in health, wealth & education and in dating, hyper sexualized and dehumanized, even to the point of being compared to animals and food – oh, wait. That’s Black people. Yeah, this flare-up doesn’t work on me. At all. Since I’m pretty sardonic about dating, it gives me a better range of view to spot guys who try to go at emotion and not logic. 
 
Casual sexism & racism
Pretty much everything that came out this dude’s mouth. Started off insulting, finished off super crazy. Good thing no one is dating them because I bet he’s the type to fly into a rage at the drop of a hat and break things, even over the slightest problems. No one needs to date anyone like that. Ever. They need therapy, not relationships. 
 
 
 
On to Bingo Board 2!
 
Little to no social skills
Guys (hi, straight men), this dude’s approach is not smart. Firstly, don’t approach random women through their official channels of communication looking for a date. She is most likely not going to be thrilled. Just like how I wasn’t. Dating websites and apps do exist. Try finding a date using a dating site or app. And should you approach, try to go for “cordial”, not “sleezeball”. Yes, I probably am saying all that is opposite of what usual guy websites have for “how to chat to girls” but I thiiiiiink I would know how I like to be approached a lot more than someone who is probably a closet incel. If the girl turns you down, it happens. Rejection happens. Women get rejected, too. Also, please don’t go on a killing spree. Seriously. Get help instead. And don’t threaten the girl for turning you down. You’ll just go from “Not my type” to “homicidal maniac” in a snap. Get help instead.
 
Racist, sexist and/or homophobic to an extent
Read above for “Casual Sexism & Racism”. No homophobia occurred but I seriously would not be surprised if this person harbored homophobic sentiments. I’ve never met a bigot with emotional problems that magically was pro-LGBTQIA. Not even in actual LGBTQIA circles (the amount of racist White folks in queer circles is baffling. Can they not somehow apply that racism is bad the same way homophobia is bad instead of trying to use their queerness as a flimsy shield to be racist?)
  
Thinks sexual harassment is a complement
It isn’t. Unwanted attention such as this is indeed sexual harassment. It isn’t a complement. At all. It is harassment, plain and simple. That’s why I didn’t reply with hearts and joy but with sharp vitrol instead.
 
When rejected, always blames his weight, face or another body characteristic that was never brought up
He flew straight for “It’s because I’m White, right?” even when I never brought it up. It is no different than when Harvey Weinstein would try to guilt-trip his victims with “it’s because I’m fat and ugly” when they would reject his attempts of sexual assault. (Guys, if you want to discuss movie/book/music deal details, try to keep your clothes on. You’ll be respected more and called a “potential rapist” less). Does it matter what type of men the scores of women he assaulted would personally pick? No. They may like big guys, skinny guys, tall guys, short guys, etc etc. But none of them like rapey guys, which is exactly what Weinstein is. It wasn’t his weight or looks – which he brought up, not the women – it was his behavior. It’s not your physical form, many different women like many different guys, it is your behavior. Even handsome guys get rejected for acting like douchebags. There’s a reason women in my circles tend to say “He was really cute … then he started talking.” 
 
 
This dude’s behavior was way off the wall. I don’t like being chatted up through my blog, ever. It used to happen at the start of Black Witch from various guys, including Men of Color. I ripped on them the exact same way as I did this guy because I don’t appreciate that kind of behavior. Ever. Heck, I don’t even like being approached, I rather do the approaching myself. And even if I do approach, I still rather interact with a guy who has his head screwed on straight versus one who thinks “She’s talking to me! That means she wants to date me! Literally no other reason whatsoever. Even though she just told me I am on fire. She did that because she wants me, not because I’m turning into a candle stick out in public. Absolutely no other reason.” 
 
What should have this guy done? Google “local therapy clinics near me” and never bother anyone for anything remotely related to dating until he has his head sorted out. And never talk to me unless he has more normal subjects to talk about. Or anyone else. 
 

*Though the FBI literally lets countless Angry White Men slip through their fingers (The Majory-Stoneman Douglas mass shooting is a perfect display of that) because they’re so busy keeping tabs on Black and Muslim Americans activists. Because the greatest harm to America is not a mass shooting or another Timothy McVeigh, it’s people marching for their rights, as guaranteed by the Constitution. Oh well, at least I have lawyers as back up.
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Ask Black Witch: Two Dumb Questions and a Fake Threat

Filed under: Ask Black Witch, Pagan Life, Race — Leave a comment
June 26, 2020

Good afternoon. I am meeting with my spiritual family tomorrow to discuss racism among the pagan community and how we can make Wicca more inclusive for POC. Therefore, if I wanted to start making Wicca more inclusive for POC today, what could I do? The only ideas I can come up with seem like they would veer dangerously close to cultural appropriation, such as incorporating deities of other ethnic groups into worship in order to avoid the over emphasis on Greek and Celtic deities. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Blessed be.

-Jamie

This is literally no different than the guy from last month who asked “Is this racist? I’m making a character for my personal project”. It’s bad enough this person thinks I’m Wiccan when really I’m non-denominational Pagan/general Pagan.

As much as White culture likes to assume Black people are illiterate and lazy and like to rip on us about it – even if we have degrees in literature and we work endlessly (we’ve built nations, including the United States of America, while suffering terror and torture) – they sure dislike doing actual reading when it pertains to being less racist. Doesn’t matter how easy or accessible the info. They must be personally slow-walked by a random Black person, because that’s what they think Black folks exist for, as their assistants. I have 10 years of writings and a freaking Race category. How can a group of people be so stupid it’s almost groundbreaking? You’re on the internet, none of this is hard to figure out on your own, especially on my site.

White Pagans already are iron-dedicated to keeping Paganism, which is remarkably diverse, as White as possible. If they want to make things better for people that don’t look like them, they need to stop being lazy layabouts and do the leg work themselves.

Advice? Stop being so lazy and do the f*cking work – yourselves. If you can figure out occultism, which involves dead languages, missing documents and wide chasms of historical and cultural gaps due to time and war, anti-racism should be levels easier.

 

Is there such thing as body swap spell?

– Richard Lowe

Wow, that there is living proof the coronavirus is not killing the right people. I have said countless times how much I dislike body-swap spell askers. (inb4 “he was just asking!” – it usually starts there and then they show their trash selves afterwards) They’re just disgusting fetishists, usually. I already tracked one down and reported him to police because he mentioned a real person he wanted to “swap” with. This person is no different.

Hi there!

This is Melika and I am a qualified photographer.

I was puzzled, frankly speaking, when I came across my images at your website. If you use a copyrighted image without my permission, you must be aware that you could be sued by the copyright holder.

It’s against law to use stolen images and it’s so filthy!

Take a look at this document with the links to my images you used at thisblackwitch.com and my earlier publications to obtain evidence of my legal copyrights.

Download it right now and check this out for yourself:

[redacted link]

If you don’t remove the images mentioned in the document above within the next several days, I’ll write a complaint against you to your hosting provider stating that my copyrights have been infringed and I am trying to protect my intellectual property.

And if it doesn’t work, you may be pretty damn sure I am going to report and sue you! And I will not bother myself to let you know of it in advance.

– Mel

This is spam meant to spread a computer virus. Let’s go into this.

I do not regularly post photos on the blog, and usually they are reaction type pictures I found scattered across the world wide web or related to The Arts! features. I tend to veer from personal-looking photos because they’re not what I like to use. I never have gotten a “take this down” request before so of course, this caught my eye. If I get a request, I take them seriously. But it’s a fake one, in the end.

This person doesn’t know copyright law well

Here’s the thing: you can only be successfully sued by copyright holder for a picture if a) the person used the image without credit and for financial/personal gain – aka, passed the photo off for their own and used it to make money/obtain something and b) you can prove the photo is yours, preferably with a legit copyright certificate from the Copyright Office, and there was no standing contract or anything else a person could use as an excuse to slip out of responsibility.

Otherwise, it’s an empty threat. And note I said “successfully”. Copyright lawsuits happen all the time. Not all are successful. Visual artists contend with their works being stolen all the time, it is a frustrating experience.

I’m a little lucky that I formerly worked in the Library of Congress (which houses the Copyright Office) and that one of my friends works in the Copyright Office. That and, as a creative, I have read up on copyright law the best I can.

You can do letters to a hosting provider but they do not make it super easy and again, it cannot be done blindly. WordPress runs over 20-30% of the internet. If you have no proof, you have no case.

The emo in this writing

Here’s the thing: This is a very emotion-rife letter. It’s mean to cause alarm and “this is how upset I am!!11!!!!!!1!!1”. Folks like these lean on emotion because they don’t want you to use logic. They want me to click the link, not actively debate – which is what I did anyways, because if you don’t show me the image, I will ask about it. A lot.

I could get why this could scare a newbie blogger or someone who is not so secure, lawyer-wise. I get it very easily, no one wants their site taken down because of a simple skirmish. Unfortunately, I have three different lawyers (story of my life: prejudiced people never clean up their act until feds and lawyers get involved – and even then, they are remarkably slow learners. But quick criers). So a “I’ll sue you!” is not too scary to me.

The point is to click the link

It was a google Drive link, which is also reportable for nefarious use, such as trying to spread a virus. If it is a legit take-down request, I should not have to download anything. They should have had the time, date, etc of the photo (which, at this point, is safe to say doesn’t exist) in question in the text of their email. It is not in the text, it looks sketchy.

 

Oh! And I never got a reply ever when I asked for clarification. If this person was serious, I would have gotten a quick reply.

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Ask Black Witch: Free Space/Protest During Plague edition

Filed under: Ask Black Witch, Coronavirus/Covid-19, Race, Resources & Information — Leave a comment
May 29, 2020

I have some free space for Ask Black Witch, I’ve gotten nothing but dumb questions recently. But as for current protests against the usual plague, anti-Blackness, some free tips:
No matter what, wear a mask.

A) Black Blocs are useful because the usual historical reasons

B ) There is still a viral plague outside, you don’t need the coronavirus on top of the usual plague. Not all racists wear badges, some wear scrubs and white coats.

C) Masks can be modified or specialized against tear gas, the internet is packed with tons of resources, as well as historical information

D) Don’t wear glaringly unique masks if possible. You’ll get targeted first.

Social distancing is still important

A) Again, you don’t want to catch a viral plague on top of dealing with the usual plague. Again, not all racists wear badges, some wear scrubs and white coats

B ) Bigger looking crowd, less dashing into each other when riot cops dart into the crowd, and harder to corral – you definitely want to stay out of holding cells and jails, especially during a viral plague

C) Easier to stay relatively safe when you have at minimum a 6 ft bubble to make quick decisions in, and see around you

Gloves are nice

A) You will be touching countless surfaces, not just your sign. Riot shields are probably not sanitized so in efforts of not getting binked by one, gloves are useful in case you have to grab or stop one

B) Better grip is always great

C) Easier to clean up and take off when need be. You can’t take off your skin but you can take off gloves

Alcohol in a med kit

I’m never going to suggest drinking – drinking is bad for you, especially in a plague (that one-two punch of suppressing your immune system and your sense of judgement is not a good idea). But it is useful for wounds and quick sanitation, among other historical protest uses.

For fellow Black folks, my core readership:

For everybody else:

Because you guys forget the most

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Ask Black Witch!: Free Space

Filed under: Ask Black Witch, Coronavirus/Covid-19, Resources & Information — Leave a comment
March 27, 2020

Since I only just came back, I received no questions. Not even stupid ones, which is nice. Instead, I’m going to post a vid from Osmosis that talks about Coronavirus (covid-19) from a science-y, animated perspective. Basically, how it started (with bats, just like SARS – because it is related to SARS), how it spreads (droplets from the mouth), why we have the social distancing we do (droplets can go 3-6 feet, so everyone should stand 6 ft apart), and other really useful detail in easy-to-understand language.

 

And inb4 “A witch is talking about modern medicine? Lol”: Modern medicine started in potions and herbal work. And a virus is not a metaphysical entity, it is a physical entity. Also, just because I said medicine started in herbal work, please do not assume that the random internet herbalist who stock pile sage like mad but still have lay-man’s knowledge of general health (a dedicated and decent herbalist should have a background in: botany, biology, chemistry, bio-chemistry – and that’s the short list) is just as good as going to an actual doctor.

Yes, modern medicine has a horrific track record when it comes to race and medicine that more than effectively persuades people, especially in the Black community, to not want to come near a doctor or a hospital because you’re not sure if you’re getting someone with functioning capacity of empathy for random humans, even ones that do not come in shades of White, or a person who seems related to Jigsaw from the Saw movies, ethics-wise. And, chances are, you’re more likely to get Saw than kind-person. This alone can keep people out of the hands of doctors, but still, it is better at least try to find a facility – not necessarily a hospital, but even a drive-thru testing place (if one is available, the US is not Korea, after all) – than to put your health in the hands of someone who possibly doesn’t even know how viruses exist.

So stay home, try to get tested and wash your hands.

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Ask Black Witch: Free Space

Filed under: Ask Black Witch — Leave a comment
January 31, 2020

No The Arts! because I have been busy fixing my 3D printer. Received one question but it was trash. This means another Black Witch free space.

I shall grace you with “Parole de Chat”, hilarious French cat videos

I love watching these.

I also grace you with a strutting fashion kitty.

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Ask Black Witch: Free Space – Gaming

Filed under: Ask Black Witch, Pagan Life — Leave a comment
December 27, 2019

I got sucky questions so I am doing a Free Space.

I don’t have a lot for free space, to be honest. I have been up for a while so my brain is still running on half-speed.

I also have been playing a lot of video games since I got the new computer. What I have been playing so far:

  • Let it Die
  • Felix the Reaper
  • The Sims 4 (with a major bevy of mods)
  • Dead By Daylight

I plan to get Tekken 7, especially because they have the character, Leroy Smith. What I find charming/funny about this character is:

a) they are a Wing Chun fighter, I have been doing Wing Chun for over a decade now (thirteen years, I think?) and it is rare to find Wing Chun fighters in video games. I only know two games with Wing Chun, Tekken and an indie game called Shaolin vs WuTang vs The World. Shaolin is a really good game, I recommend it. Insanely technical and true to each style featured.

b ) Leroy Smith is Black, I think the only people I have ever known personally who practiced Wing Chun were Black. All my teachers (who are also on the Wing Chun family tree under Grandmaster William Cheung), the vast majority of my classmates, just about everyone. If they weren’t Black, they were Asian. I remember only meeting three to four people who didn’t fit this profile in the ten plus years.

c) I am totally tickled that Leroy Smith is practically one of my teachers (sifu). My original sifu is a Black man with dreads (not white – though, the years are indeed passing so there are teeny slips of gray) who has a pitbull. I will never not find this uncanny accuracy hilarious.

d) The Wing Chun is accurate. Tekken 7 level accurate (meaning, they have to throw in some flair) but accurate all the same in performance and function.

I always like playing fighting games that reflect styles I have practiced but the added representation is a brilliant bonus.

On the subject, I’ve been training others (honestly, one or two people) in super basic Wing Chun for free – it’s so I can have some exercise and I have a lot of LGBTQIA friends so it’s a win-win. They learn how to unhinge some harassing transphobe or homophobe’s jaw in the most painful way possible, I get to shed some calories while keeping pizza in my diet. Plus, I will never miss an opportunity to trash-talk women self defense courses. Because they are total trash. Teaches you nooooooooothing except how to be a better victim. Almost wholly inapplicable in actual altercations and if the woman paid for it, a complete and total rip off.

I know this because:

a) I’m a woman, I have been in several of these classes for this very reason alone. Even after I tell people “I can break someone’s arm in three places, I’m good.” At this point, I just collect the free whistle and try to not play on my phone. There was the one time I did drift into a karate self defense class taught by a karate teacher at an anime convention but that was because I saw a couple cute guys go in so my goal was “Procure phone numbers” – mission unsuccessful because all the karate kids boppled around me the second they figured out I knew Wing Chun.

b ) I always ask folks I teach if they took a self defense class and if so, follow up with a request to see if they can break out of a basic wrist grab. They are always astonished I grip tight (just like what would happen in real life) because the classes don’t teach that and only a small fraction actually know what to do.

c) Most of the classes are taught by men so it’s just over complicated movements coupled with victim-blaming flavored “don’t get raped” tips. The one class I ever saw taught by a woman, I got chucked out because she said I was “showing off”. I saw a girl literally spin herself into a chokehold with her own arm in effort to get out of a wrist grab, it was a feat to behold. I had to help so I showed a super simple movement. That’s declared as “showing off”. What I remembered, the teacher had a watery voice the entire class that sounded like she was on the verge of crying and whenever there were men in the room, she was really subservient. Ineffective teachers, basically.

I could go on forever but that is a smidge of my soapbox.

Back to video games, I really like how things are different. Games have a very, very long way to go when it comes to gender and race. And at least a solid 60% of the time, it looks like they don’t try, which leads to weak or repeated storylines as well as super predictable outcomes.  I stick with a game when I can make characters that look like me, which is what I really like about Let it Die. They have Black men and women as characters. With realistic hairstyles.

The games I have been playing recently are all games that are centered around death engaging and fun. I love the concept behind Felix the Reaper, his dances are wonderful and the soundtrack is great. Let It Die has a great soundtrack as well. Dead By Daylight is fun when I’m not sitting in the lobby forever. At least when I see racist names, I know who I’m murdering first and several times. Plus hook camping them, because I deserve to see the character suffer as they squirm to their eventual sacrificial death. As for The Sims, mods help Maxis be what they struggle to become themselves: great. How a Black child from two Black parents can come out with a slender nose and straight, blonde hair is beyond me but, hey, Maxis will make it happen.

 

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