Category: Ask Black Witch


Firstly, before we get started! Sorry that there wasn’t a The Arts! for last week. I still am working on a separate project and sometimes the project goes into overtime!

Also, I just joined Instagram (despite the fact that I hate it). It will mainly show the 3D printing that I do, shill for my store, the BW Shoppe and bookbinding stuff. I prefer FB live over Insta so don’t expect live videos on Instagram. I’m @thisblackwitch on Instagram

And some cute art: Meowtallica! (It counts, someone had to be creative to cobble this up)

Moving on to the questions!

I know this is a question with a varying response depending on who you ask, which is why I’m curious to hear your opinions on the matter – what would you say are the limits of magickal practise?

After reading through your posts, I understand you get asked many questions relating to Hollywood-esque tricks and abilities (body swapping comes to mind), and I wonder to what extent, if at all, you believe these abilities are even possible, even with years of training and effort. As such, imagining someone asked one of such questions about weird or strange abilities, but worded it in a non-beggar, eloquent way that implied they were willing to work for it, and somehow proved they had done some research into the subject, what would be your general response? I would presume you would urge them to reconsider under most circumstances (seeing that taking part in something like body swapping is unethical at best in most circumstances) but I’m curious to hear your insight on the hypothetical.

Liam L.

Honestly, there are very few limits of magickal practice. If any at all. However, nothing comes easy, which is what gets a lot of people. Many have applied the thinking “If I can’t do it and I don’t know anyone who has, it can’t not possibly be done.” It’s self-limiting.

If someone asked in a non-gimme-gimmie way, I would suggest that they hit the books and to expect to put a lot of effort. Here’s the thing: most people who ask me are nowhere near the level where it should cross their mind. It’s pretty difficult stuff to learn – and for things like body-switching, we haven’t even gotten into the “another person is involved” part. I still stand firm on the fact that this site doesn’t do spell requests or anything of that nature so all I’m going to do is direct people to books, dense books that are not light reading.

My son and I have recently had a conversation about his childhood and things he never told me but I wish he had. He told me that he would see things… dark figures that were shaped with human forms. Some disfigured, scary creatures as well.
The thing is, I have had many simular experiences as a child and as an adult. Many people who know this know it about me, but I have never been able to find a way to understand whats going on with me. My dreams my thoughts.
I know that my son An I have been gifted with something, however I dont know what. Can you help is figure this out or just tell us that we’re two weirdos?

 

– Krystal

A lot of kids see things when they are younger – doesn’t mean what they see don’t exist, I’m just pointing that fact out. When we get older, we kind of will these images we see away because they are “not normal” in our current culture. Doesn’t mean that your kid is from The Shining, it is more normal than you think.

The best way to go about it is keep a dream journal and stay faaaaaaaaaaaar away from sites that cite Indigo Children, Eastern Star, etc etc because they are going to be less helpful and more likely to make you feel a lot more fantastical than you actually are. They’re mostly fluff marginally held together with little not-so-sticky bits of truth tape. Avoid and avoid! You don’t want to scare yourself, either, these sites are good at that.

Also, please remember that not everything in the universe is cute and cuddly Casper the Ghost. I would say the vast majority leans towards Pan’s Labyrinth than anything. Also, there is such thing as the mind tricking itself when it gets too wound up – hence why I said stay away from the fluff sites.

Oh, and meditate. That can really help get your mind right and make sure you get a better grip on yourself. You don’t want to be one of the many “I am the Anti-Christ” people that are walking around.

hi i need to ask a question, Do you grant wishes?

because if you do could you do me a favor?. I don’t want any harm or harms anyone but i would really really love if i had the power to move somthing to help out, to help people to guide them i know this soundd stupid but i just really wanted to be this superhero that helps people in need i am jus a cringey teen, that wants something fun to do in life, i wanna have a great life. If i could i would choose ice powers, cure powers, growth power, tk moving things fighting bad people without doing harm, god thi sound stupid i hope you answer and that you dont think im a psychopath 
 
– Gabi Y.

Ok, everyone. I say time and time again: I’m not a genie. Genies grant wishes. Witches don’t.

No wishes, no favors, no nothing. Not anything I do. At all.

Here’s the thing: asking how to get into metaphysics or psionics is ok(-ish. I say “ok-ish” because, again, I do expect people to do some of their own research) but just going “hey, do this thing for me” is not ok.

Nothing is wrong with wanting to be a superhero and help people in need but that can really quickly turn not fun super fast. I think even the Iron Man trilogy showed that. (It was all fun and games and then Stark wound up with PTSD because it’s not fun and games). If you want to do things that are fun and can help others, it might be better to find other things to do. Psionics is difficult to learn (very difficult, I’m talking from experience here.) Even harder to maintain. You’re not going to go from regular person to Ms. Marvel or Ice Man in a week or less. That’s laughable.

You’re free to learn things like these but it’s going to be very arduous. It actually doesn’t make you a psychopath, but asking the questions like this can be very vexing and shows an incredible lack of desire for doing footwork.

I found an inverted 7 point star drawn on my computer monitor with a finger. no one has been in my house but me. what does it mean?
 
– Eric B.

Nada. I get a lot of questions that basically is “is something occult happening right now? I literally don’t engage in any occultism but I think something spooky is happening”. It’s not happening, most likely. The average person is not doing higher levels of magick (like ceremonial magick) as much as everyone would like to think.

I want to learn how to send something so potent and deadly to my enemy(ies) that it will definitely work and that they won’t be able to negate it, or, especially send it back to me. Do you have anything that could make someone get terminally ill or make them have a fatal accident? I will be very happy if you do and will fallow it diligently. Please tell me you have something.

P.S. I need to contact a loved one from the other side. There is something I didn’t get to say to them while they were alive and I have tremendous guilt. Please teach me how to do it. Thank you.

– Ford Danniel

This fool, honestly. This is some pretty vile stuff to enter my inbox and I’ve seen some doozies! This is the diamond representation of why I don’t do spell requests. This is honestly absolutely trash, hence why his name isn’t abbreviated – you come here with this type nonsense, you need to stand by it. This dude had the absolute audacity to ask anyone to harm people he personally don’t like in a horrible way…oh! And to be the bridge between someone who died because he feels guilty over stupid stuff they did when they were alive.

Are you f*cking serious?

You have to be absolutely beyond twenty shades of stupid to even think this is even remotely okay somehow. Liiiiiiiiike, breh, if you got enemies like that, just get a freakin’ gun and dust them like all these other morons out here. And this is coming from someone who is very pro-gun control. (I came from the inner city, I’m not interested in debate, everyone. You’re free to try but it’s going to end poorly. I used to work at the Library of Congress, trust that I really don’t care for stupidity.) Why be a fool and ask a person who literally has zero bones in your problems like I supposed to care or even remotely help?

And you want a way to not have this happen to you back? This is a freaking coward talking and one that does not know anything about magick. There’s no such thing as being perfectly bulletproof, especially when fixes and jinxes are involved. You can’t even fight your own battles, dude! You gotta come to someone else to do it! Bro, if you can’t take it – don’t dish it. Stop being a spineless punk and go off somewhere to stew in your own anger that you can’t handle. You must think everyone is your enemy, don’t you?

If you want to harm someone, do it your own self. And on top of that, why would I waste any of my time, energy or due diligence trying to connect such a person with someone who is on the other side. Maybe that guilt should eat you alive because you certainly didn’t learn from it, nary a wit.

My daughter and I were making Alum crystals last night and this morning when we checked on them there was something in the middle. I’ve made Alum crystals many times in the past there’s never been anything in the middle of one but there’s something in two of them is it possible to catch an energy that someone had sent our way or that was perhaps just there within an Alum Crystal? If you know or know someone who would please let me know my daughter wants to break it open and I won’t let her

– Christina R.

This is where a “cigar is just a cigar”. For everyone not in the know, an alum crystal is a human-made crystal that you, too, can make as a fun science experiment using stuff you find in your kitchen and at the supermarket. It looks like a diamond cluster. Then you can make pickles with the alum!

Now, alum can be used in magick for protection and suches buuuuuuut this sounds like you just had a regular science experiment that simply had a mutation of some sort. It happens. Welcome to science. It doesn’t automatically mean that the crystal caught whatever was aiming for you. If the crystal was not charged with the intent to do such, then that’s probably not what happened.

All right, I’ve been gone for a while so I’m going to try to clean out what ABW’s I have sitting about. Let’s get started!

I’ve had contact with someone now I’m locked in spiritually i feel like I’m transitioning thru colors. Green n Gray already. I don’t understand how I know but I’m hereditary. I don’t have a teacher or know where to start.

Bossy C.

This isn’t a bad question but one I do get with some consistency. The problem is less burdensome than it appears so let’s break it down.

Chances are usually better than not that you are not bound to anyone, especially at such a new stage. It is probably just nerves. While there are spooktacular stories of being bound to someone in occult, it is not always actual bindings. The telltale-sign? How new the person is to the occult. While there are cultural beliefs of binding to others which are verily legit, it’s less “You bumped into them in the market, now your soul has been deadbolted and soldered to them for ever and ever” and more, “You developed a bond which is a bit resistive to breaking – but can be broken through relatively simple and mundane ways.” If it were someone more neck deep in magick, then it could be possible bindings (which can also still be broken). But new? Naaaaaaah, not likely.

Color magick is pretty important but different colors can mean different things to different people. For example, I’m American, so I can associate red with anger. My friend in France? It’s yellow. Which can confuse me because I, as an American, associate yellow with fear. But another one of my friends on the other side of America would rather associate white to fear, and yellow to wistfulness. This means I can’t really say for sure what the colors you feel mean because I could say “jealousy and indecisiveness” but be waaaaaaaaaaaaay off the mark. This is where your Book of Shadows/Disk of Shadows (BOS/DOS) comes in and and a reference guide on color magick (I have suggested several books on my site, I tend to suggest Where to Park Your Broomstick by Laura Manoy most) and work it out yourself for accuracy. If you’re hereditary, that’s also a good place to start as well if there are any source materials to work with.

Basically, the best place to start is with a book and your BOS/DOS. I wouldn’t get too wrapped up about the guy, either.

Hello, this is all new and foreign to me. I have been through a lot of shit in my life and I have found a sigil that means a lot to me. It is the treachery returns to the betrayer sigil. If I were to get this tattoo is is just symbolism or does it automatically become a charged sigil?
– Damon H

The quick answer is: don’t do it.

If you have no idea what the hell you are doing, simply abstain until smarter – always a good rule of thumb in magick. Getting sigils (especially from the internet – Tumblr is the worst offender I’ve found so far) can be a cool thing…until you are reminded that it’s a bonding magickal symbol. Magickal symbols probably shouldn’t be tatted anywhere on your person unless you’re a 150% scholar on the thing you’re getting. It could be the symbol is from a culture and you’re about to be super disrespectful (like getting a Hindu deity on a part of the body deemed disrespectful, like a leg or back), the symbol can tether you to the meaning of whatever you got, for good or for worse (and guess which part of the binary gets me “Plz help” emails), or it loses meaning to you or you found it was the wrong symbol all along (think of people who get tattoos that they think means “strong, willful” and it actually means “moron”).

Even the sigil you mentioned could be a wildly different symbol from what I’m thinking of…because a lot of cultures have different sigils. A lot of them. It could be the Voudon version, the Latin version, there’s even a Wiccan version (I don’t always take that version seriously (see: Tumblr) but it does exist).

You’re breathing intent and effort into the sigil and fastening it to yourself, literally. It’s probably not smart. Just get a tat of something else that signifies the same thing and is not a sigil or religious symbol.

Hi just wanted to start by saying that I love your writings. You are very eloquent, and as a fellow research nerd (art history grad student) I love how you stress research/reading.

My question is two fold (and slightly predictable, sorry). I read your stance about love spells and it makes so much sense. I’ve been hesitant to try any for a lot of the reasons that you mentioned. I saw that you said spells to get a date were easier. I was wondering if you could point me towards the direction of some such spells? I am moving across the country this summer and would love to date more in my new city. I am also a woman with a disability and would love a little boost in getting dates. Any suggestions you have on where to start researching for a safe spell (don’t want a stalker either) would be great!

I was also wondering if you knew of any resources for spells for the differently abled? Or how to adapt spells safely? I’ve read a lot about grounding through connecting your bare feet to the dirt or taking cleansing baths to prepare for spell work which isn’t an easy option when you have a mobility impairment. Anny thoughts you have would be appreciated. Thank you in advance for your help!

-Kels

For spells about relationships, there are several in Where to Park Your Broomstick by Lauren Manoy as she has a pretty decent chapter on it. As well as general “Magick 101” for anyone starting magick. All spells carry risk, though. There is no spell I can think of, even the super positive ones, that are 100% risk-free. Doesn’t exist. There are plenty of low risks (like the super positive spells) but there aren’t any no-risk. Spells backfire, go flat or deeply awry. I remember once casting a small money spell for $87 dollars when I was a teenager – that exact amount – because of a concert I wanted to go to. I got the $87…and literally nothing else. Like, no money was coming my way – it got tied up somehow, fell through or it was a huge hassle. Basically, the spell took the intention to be “I want $87…and that’s all the money I’ll need for the rest of time.” Really simple spell and it backfired marvelously. Again, no such thing as a no-risk spell. Even if you did correctly, something can still go topsy-turvy. So that means you could still get a stalker-type with even a “I just want a date” spell. Not as likely as a super controlling one but it is still a possibility.

It’s easy to adapt for disability because you’re still touching the ground somehow. I don’t do the “bare feet on soil” because living in the city, you’re not super likely to find a place good enough or safe enough (no broken glass or dirty needles on the ground). There are other ways to cleanse yourself that doesn’t use baths. Just modify as you go with whatever works best. It’s the point of the action, not the action itself.

can u get me out of this binding and protection from a dreamscape witch and other forces negative to me. they say im the reincarnation of king tut…

– Skylair G.

Ah, another binding question but with a tad more nonsense. The nonsense:

A “dreamscape” witch – yes, different entities exist on the astral plain but this sounds more Narnia than anything

Reincarnation of King Tut – Seriously? This is right up there with Cleopatra, Cesar and other historical figureheads most commonly touted in Western lore. If you think you’re one of these people, chances are stupidly good that you’re not. There can not possibly be that many King Tuts, Cleopatras and Ceasars, walking about. Just not.

This also is another “gimme gimme” request, nothing substantial. Chances are very strong that this person is mainly stressing themselves with their own thinking – there isn’t a real issue, just reading into shadows in the window.

If I tie a picture around a piece of meat and bury it. What happens to the person on the picture?
– Pearl

Behold, an actually stupid question. If you’re going to dabble in magick: don’t. If you don’t like someone and learning is too time-taxing for you, just be old-school confrontational about it.

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All the questions for Ask Black Witch for September were all crappy so free space! And it’s a couple weeks late, boo. I will spend this time to talk about stuff I’ve been doing, up to Oct 1.

I was in a podcast recently, Feminist Killjoys, PhD. I talked about Paganism, mental health and more!

Update on my cat feeder project: Still working on the code so it won’t rapid-slap my cat and then go full on rebellion. The tech stuff is mainly done, I just have to code and then assemble the whole thing. The goal: Feed my cat a cup of food once a day…and my cat doesn’t destroy the machine. And the machine doesn’t rapid-slap me or my cat. This machine isn’t evil, just very rebellious. It wants to live with vigor. I need it to tone down the vigor.

For Oct 20-22, there will be the Dawtas of the Moon convention, in its second year. It’s hosted in Baltimore and I will be teaching a Cartomancy Workshop, teaching the ins and outs of cartomancy, playing card divination. Get your tickets!

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Sorry for the late post but here is the Ask Black Witch for August! Good questions are appreciated, bad questions are eviscerated. Lets get started.

I got a couple question from people who don’t seem to really like reading or researching my pretty general stance on spell help, doing spells for others and love spells, especially unethical ones. Here’s a quick rundown:

Spell help: Unless you know what you’re doing, I’m not gonna help. I have a “No assisting dabblers” rule. And the two generally stand out: the practiced person generally knows what they’re doing, they just need someone to bounce ideas off of. The dabbler wants to be spoon-fed and babied and waste another person’s time. Or just have someone else do it for them. Preferably that.

Doing spells for others: I don’t do pay-for-pray (paid spellwork). Never have, never will. If I don’t do paid spellwork for others, I certainly don’t do free spellwork for others either. If a screw-up occurs, it’s because you did it. I tend to make people do their own legwork. It keeps my workload light and way, way less people bother me about fixing their – not mine – problems. Which I like. I may suggest simple stuff like “Maybe you should get bay leaves” but if you don’t know how to use them, that’s your issue, unfortunately. This is why I prefer to field questions from practiced practitioners and am harsh to dabblers. I prefer people to research for themselves, especially since occult and metaphysics is 93% reading, reading and more reading – actual info, not new-agey nonsense. Now if only I got questions from practiced practitioners and not dabblers.

Love Spells: I don’t do them, not even the general “hey, universe, I would like a date” because they’re not really my thing. Those spells are fine and dandy, still in the world of “good ethics”. They don’t control a particular person, they’re super open-ended. The universe might give you a guy, they might give you a bike (because the universe likes to troll people). But it’s open ended. However, I still don’t do them.

Unethical love spells: I don’t support abusive acts or tactics so, yeah, I’m going to make fun of you for trying to control someone else and you wind up dejected. Because I’m talking to an abusive person, which is in the top 5 of my list of “people who justify my belief and support of the Death Penalty”. Love hurts and love sucks. For everyone. If you have to control someone, you don’t love them. At all. It’s not about love, it’s about controlling someone who you believe is weaker than you or is easy to control for whatever reason. Regardless how you do it: magickally, financially, physically, emotionally – it’s wrong and you deserve whatever happens to you, simple as that.

Hello my name is Yesenia, I had someone I know cast a love spell for me but nothing work actually things just got worse for me. This person send me a picture of the candles she turn on for me and I would like to know the real meaning to the color candles she used.

– Yesenia M.

My original response:

Was it to influence someone else or general “find a date”? I mean love spells come with chance of risk. That’s why they’re suggested against so much.

Their response:

I found out that my boyfriend or should I say ex boyfriend is in prison and I found out he was writing and talking to some other female. 

Oh joy, internalized misogyny. So on top of being a control freak in relationships, they have serious internalized misogyny. If not a scientist talking strictly about biological lifeforms, avoid using “female”. It’s “woman”.

This is also why I don’t do paid spellwork. Note the “I had someone…cast a love spell for me but nothing work[ed].” Like, I’m basically being used as IT Support for another person’s handiwork. Which is not why this blog exists. And why I don’t work with dabblers. They put themselves in a bind and they want someone else to get them out of it. No way.

Here are some additional information that looks into the motivation:

I just want her to fix my relationship with him and keep away the other female he was talking to.

We have two kids together that’s not what I wanted but whatever I guess he found love even if it’s not with me

These are the motivations. The top one is not very good, the bottom one means she really, really needed to focus less on the dude she was losing and more on the kids she has.

Here’s the kit and kaboodle about the top one: if the person found out her dude is talking to another woman, instead of running to a spellworker to make it stop, she should have told the dude that a) he’s been found out and b) what are the options she will give him: be faithful or be gone. If this dude has a tendency to romp about, then he’s not worth keeping nor doing any spellwork for. This seems less of a relationship of love and mutual understanding and more of two folks who sort of earned each other. You have the philanderous guy stuck in the clink and the girlfriend who doesn’t seem to understand that forcing a relationship to work doesn’t make relationships work.

The second bit: This is why I’m so pro-choice and pro-“note all red flags, even the pink ones”. Kids are involved. They need two parents, not one. Two kids are a handful. And most importantly, they need a mom who has their head screwed on straight. Here it sounds like a lady who is desperately trying to keep a family together but in all the wrong ways. If a relationship has to go south, it’s better things like that happen before kids get thrown in the mix because then it’s not a tale of two possible fools, it’s kids that are going to get mixed up and possibly messed up. Yes, life is messy but it seems this dude might have been trouble from start (I have a feeling he’s not in jail for snatching a confederate flag or socking a neo-nazi).

The new game plan for this chick is to work on being a mom instead. Once she works out that “likes to control others” thing, maybe she’ll find someone new and can be a suitable boyfriend-to-husband and father to her kids. Until that happens, she needs to focus on the kids and stop trying to control everything.

Hi, I would like to ask something about a black candle. Because I’ve searched about it and it signifies negativities in life, is it right?

I wanna if, it is okay to use black candle for love spell? Cause I asked an old woman (who does witchcraft) to put a love spell to the one I love (my ex bf), after she does it by tuesday, he came back to me. We came back to being sweet and having a strong relationship. But the old woman uses black candle, is it okay?

And one last thing. I’m just afraid because, it’s not true love.. Or is it? 

Thanks in advance.
– Rose B.

Again, being the IT Support for someone else’s handiwork because a dabbler didn’t want to fix their problem themselves.

Anybody who has been in spellwork for at least three months would get down the very basics of candle magick and color magick. Black is a simple one, depending on how it is used. It can make things go away. It can make things happen, it depends on how it is used…and that can vary with practitioner.

About true love: not only is it oneism (a word yinked from Dr. Nerdlove), where you think that there is only one, singular person for you – it is definitely not here. True love stays on its own, you don’t need spellwork to tack your true love down and make them stay.

If the ex-boyfriend (I kind of am seeing why he left) is gone, he’s probably not true love. Yes, he could come back but it would be more of an expression of true love if he came back on his own. To force him back via spellwork is no different than if you went to his house with a gun and said “We’re gonna be together – forever. I promise you.” It’s not true love, it’s scary. And would you want someone to do either of those things to you?

I remember responding to this and saying the relationship is going to eventually crash and burn, like it did for the first asker. I still stand by that. It may be great and amazing now but that trip is going to end pretty soon, especially when the usual bumps and scrapes of relationships (having disagreements, tiffs) happen. Restrict free will and you’re going to get problems. They always happen. Especially if the guy finds out that you don’t really love him, you’re just putting a fix on him simply because you don’t like being lonely. Because that’s seems to be the actual motivation, – not because he’s a genuine, amazing person. It beats spending Friday nights by yourself, which is lame.

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My e[x] husband has a girl friend.. But i still love him… Will me and him get back together… If so when…

– Ronnie A.

My initial response:

“Why don’t you do these very simple things:

– *Read* my site and why I don’t like questions like these (because it’s asking for free divination and is a pretty stupid question)

– Get over your ex. He obviously did.“

Times like these make me wish I really did get better questions than this baseline drivel.

I’m a womanist, so I support gender equality, including in relationships. This means I’m not a fan of abusive behavior, like controlling someone. It’s not right or fair. Yes, relationships go sour but guess what? Everyone goes through that. It doesn’t make the experience easy but it doesn’t justify being harmful either.

Here’s the thing: this dude is an ex-husband. As in “gone”, “vamoosed”, “signed the divorce papers”, “disappeared”. He is free to do what he likes since the relationship is over. Including date other people. It’s one thing if he was dating before divorce, which would make him a “cheating piece of sh*t” but he’s divorced. If he’s got a girlfriend, it means, unless there is something wowing that the letter writer does, it’s pretty clear they’re never, ever getting back together. And even if the letter writer does something wowing, it still doesn’t mean they’re ever, ever going to get back together. Love is a two way street. Yes, it sucks. There is a reason why lovesick songs are constantly on the radio. And why Taylor Swift has any albums.

The reason why the question is stupid is because I have a pretty clear history of reaming anyone who shows abusive behavior like this. Missing love lost is fine, wanting to force it to come back is not. Kleenex makes money off of one, Smith & Wesson makes money off the other. If anything, it’s better to just sob a lot, listen to K-oS’ “Rain” and Whitney Houston’s “Heartbreak Hotel” on steady repeat and veg out for a couple weeks. That would be a lot more healthy and productive than bothering a random person on the internet.

Instead of worrying about the ex moving on with his life, move on with yours. Don’t get caught up on oneism (thinking that you have only one true love in the world and you must get that particular person, coined by Dr. Nerdlove). Talk out your feelings with someone you trust or a therapist. Once ready, refresh your dating skills and find husband #2.

If u are a really witch I need your help…. I have been experiencing something’s that I don’t know why they just showed up out of no were
Seeing and hearing things, my ears have been hurting any time something medium loud happens, waking up at 3:00 and 1:00 exactly every morning,something inside me says my fate is to be bad, feel like someone’s following me 24/7 and they sleep with me but there’s always no one there and I am not going crazy.. please help me, thank you. Ps this is just the sum of things..

– Jazmyn

Here is a glowing example of what not to send. Let’s point out the ways:

  • I can usually tell I’m about to hear nonsense when messages start with “If you’re really a witch”. Why, exactly, would I be LARPing as someone who practices witchcraft for nearly ten years? Anyone who does that is more depressing and pathetic than even the best psychologist could measure.
  • Through the whole thing, while it is a lot of description, it really tells me absolutely nothing. She could be describing strong stress (for example, ears having sound sensitivity could be an onset of tinnitus, a stress-related illness). Waking up at 3 or 1 in the morning is noteworthy but it isn’t enough for me to pinpoint what. A sense of dread and the sensation of someone else in your bed could point to something, or be another expression of the paranoia. Even if it was an entity, this is still very, very vague to determine what. I can’t just say “Sleep with a ring of rock salt around your bed” because that wouldn’t really do anything because, again, I wouldn’t know what the problem is.

The thing is also, I asked to expand more via email but didn’t see anything. I seriously am not going to be playing spirit detective, especially if I don’t have base info. I have to know background, usual interaction with the occult (usually slim experiences), so on and so forth. Can’t help anyone if I don’t know much. Besides, in my experience, about a good 96% of people coming to me with these questions are not besieged by spirits but have much more mundane problems…which are fixed with mundane solutions.

If you’re going to email me with your dilemmas, please be less like this.

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It’s officially time for Ask Black Witch! Readers send me questions and I answer them. Good questions are appreciated, bad questions are eviscerated. Let’s start.

Can you turn me into a werewolf like a shape shifter
– Shannancope

Any regular reader knows that this is what I consider a bad question and why:

A ) I don’t do pay for pray (paid spellwork)
B ) I’m a witch, not a genie
C ) I’m not a spellwork vending machine and find anyone who treats me like that, despite the fact I constantly express the two previous points, very annoying and idiotic.

Is it possible to do a spell to turn back time, and redo your decisions?
– Loma

Short answer: not really.

Long answer: In spellwork, magick and the occult, all things are very possible. Thing is, they require a metric f*ckton of skill, usually in high magick, not easy dealings for noobs and especially not for dabblers. Also, the Fates get begged alllllllll the time, this is definitely not for noobs.

Here’s the kit and kaboodle about going back and making decisions: they ripple into other decisions in ways the human mind (and definitely not the human heart, which is what drives the “Gotta go back, I totally f*cked that one up” feeling) can definitely not comprehend. The decision the person made could have been a bad choice on its face but who knows what the effect could branch out to be? Yes, divination can tell you quite a bit but no diviner on this planet is going to go over every minute detail. Also, what if the other choice would have created a bigger mess? And this is the choice that you know of, not of the smaller choices that you may not be aware of that could also affect this choice. Then there are situations where you’re simply going to be screwed one way or another, you’re just going to get the rusty, jagged dildo instead of the spiky one coated in salt instead because there is literally no “good option”. Decisions are tough, that’s fact. Even with magick, they don’t get easier.

I am also tempted to post the “If I Could Turn Back the Hands of Time” song but that was made by R. Kelly so I’ll be sparing.

am I pregnant
– Elizabeth S.

My response to this obscenely short question was “Have you tried taking a pregnancy test?” Because, pregnancy tests do exist and are even available in dollar stores. You can even buy a slew of them and test yourself weekly, twice a day.

Her response:

I have talked to a south Africa psychic and she told me I was pregnant [but] I have black magic on me that’s why I am asking

Breh.

This literally tells me nothing. I think the part that blows me away is that usually I get people who do not interact with anyone from the occult always mentioning that they are cursed somehow by someone else. The chances of being actually cursed by an actual witch is very slim nowadays. If you’re visiting a psychic, you’re in this group. Besides, I have no idea what the “black magick” is or anything, not so much as an example. Also, while it’s nice she’s talking to a diviner, a doctor is better. I’m a witch and a womanist and I say: go to a doctor. Doctors definitely can tell you if you’re pregnant or not.

So can time. Thing is, pregnancy is a binary state – either you are or you aren’t. And that state will be defined certainly by at least the third month. So there’s waiting, or taking a bunch of pregnancy tests while you wait.

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Sorry for the late ABW, health stuff popped up because I kept burning the candle at both ends. Let’s get into it!

My  name is Casandra R. and I’m a New witch and I am wondering where to start?

– Casandra R.

My immediate suggestion was my go to suggestion – start off with Where to Park your Broomstick by Lauren Manoy. ‘Tis a classic!

I’m familiar with the author first book. I read was the Salem witch trials and Marie Laveau and. Shakespeare Macbeth, the Crucible and Wizard of Oz.

It’s great she’s working on her history. Salem Witch trials was a favorite history chapter for me. It’s also nice she is reviewing classic works such as Macbeth (which is less about Witchcraft and more about “what would you stop at to succeed?” The Tempest has more witch stuff in it but strictly for entertainment, like watching Charmed.), the Crucible (based on the actual Witch trials, one of Arthur Miller better works) and the Wizard of Oz (has nothing to do with actual Witchcraft, is just a nice fantasy story, I prefer The Wiz more).

However, this is better suited for understanding the cultural ideas, perspectives and beliefs related to the concept of magic, sorcery and witchcraft in general Western mainstream society (and mainly from a very White gaze, given only Laveau is the only person/historical event that isn’t White). There are a lot of pretty okay academic research books on this subject so it isn’t a bad research topic.

I had also mentioned to just avoid Raven Silverwolf by any means necessary.

Name rings a bell. Is she or he bad ?

Ah, the younger generation do not know the phenomenon that is Raven Silverwolf. She is the person that took Witchcraft, Paganism and Wicca, turned it into watered down, sellable product and proceeded to do exactly that. She shelled out everything to do with magic, despite being new agey as all get out. And I bought two of her books when I was a teenager. She knew how to pitch her stuff, that’s fact.

It isn’t that I doubt she was an actual Witch, she just was the Billy Graham of American mainstream magick and witchcraft in writer form. She was certainly the darling of her printing press, Llewellyn. Honestly, it’s better to read Ellen Dugan instead. She’s much more down to earth and less shilling, more informing.

(For some odd reason, her site pitches a series of books called “The G[*]psy Chronicles”, this is where you sigh and facepalm as you scroll past the banner)

Hello, I need help I been a witch for 17 years. My girlfriend cheated on me. I don’t who he is and I want to break them up and get her back, what do I do?

– Phillip K.

Regardless of whether you practice witchcraft or not, heartbreak is still possible. If someone’s going, “If you’re a witch, why can’t you make the person love you and never leave you?” Because that’s abuse and would you like someone to do that to you? Free will is still a thing. Practicing witchcraft doesn’t make you impervious to life’s problems.

Frankly, my suggestion is to pick up and move on. Read a couple columns from Dr. Nerdlove, who has written aplenty about cheating and bouncing back from that. There’s no point in even trying to magick her back because it’s not like you’re going to have a happy, healthy, joyful relationship. It’s going to be a lot of unresolved zombie issues lurking all over the relationship and one thing I always notice about these “I want her/him back letters” – no one really talks about the love lost like it was a dear friend they miss but more in the vein of “That guy took my stuff, I wanna get it back”. That’s a bit concerning. There is feeling hurt, yes, but getting someone back blindly won’t fix anything.

If anything, this dude could better benefit from a therapist to get past the bad feelings and if he really is a witch of 17 years, then he should get some rose quartz and work of building his own self-esteem and self-care.

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It’s Ask Black Witch! Let’s get into it!

Hey. I’m black and new to Wicca and I am a bit scared. I read some stuff about it being good and just recognizing that everything we need is already provided for us. I’ve also read some not so good stuff that said it’s the devil trying to lure you away from Jesus and how they went back to Christ after bad experiences. I set up an altar but I don’t know what to do with it. Who am I praying to? You know? I was wondering if you can help me? …I guess I’m scared of like opening doors for things that aren’t good. Like I said… who am I praying to exactly in Wicca? I’m def not praying to a horned God… I get a bad feeling about that.

– Alie B.

Oi, you practically sound like me when I was a teenager getting started into Paganism. (It’s not Wicca but Wicca falls under Paganism the same way Catholicism and Baptist fall under Christianity). Growing up Christian, you get that thinking of if you step one toe outside of the Bible, God and Christ will both hate you and come down from the Heavens to strike you down.

“How dare you be nice to gay and trans people! Jesus didn’t die for you not to have guns and never vote Republican!”

Yay dealing with religious social doctrine and the fear it can induce. I remember when I would go through the “Am I saved? Does God hate me? Maybe I should be saved” go-about. I still remember reading a small Christian tract via the light under my door when I was a young teenager, fearful that I wasn’t somehow saved…despite doing it several times prior. I remember being scared to even touch books about witchcraft and divination because it was supposed to be demonic and so on and so forth.

I’ve heard the “Wicca/[other religion] is just the devil tempting you away from Jesus” shtick soooooo many times. So many times. That it will cause life issues, that your life will fall apart, you’ll never have material wealth, your credit will be bad, your pet hamster will set the house on fire with pipe bombs and attempt to assassinate the mayor, everything terrible will happen.

I know from experience how scary it sounds because you don’t want to make the wrong life choices and piss off a jealous god. Thing is, there’s really no right or wrong answer and there’s definitely no right or only religion. I mean, think about it like this: there are tons of religions that existed waaaaaaaay before Christianity and a good chunk of them said the same thing: “Hey, we’re the one true way, anyone else is wrong!” It’s a great way to keep believers but it’s a pretty crappy way to keep everyone else in the religion.

Even if you stayed Christian, you’re going to have crappy life experiences. Everyone, regardless if they practice any faith or not, is going to have life experiences that are horrid. Your life is not going to take a turn for the worse by itself because you switched faiths.

Granted, while the world does not care what religion you practice, the people around you might. I learned that when I became Pagan, the life issues I had were mainly people-related because, well, they didn’t like the fact I still converted away from Christianity despite their fear-mongering…so they decided to try to make my life very hard. Just so they could artificially prove their point that if I left Christianity, my life would get harder. The game plan was that I would go “geez, you’re right” and go back to Christianity. Instead I went, “wow, you’re doing all the terrible things. That’s not an act of God, it’s an act of discrimination. Glad I’m not part of that religion anymore.”

Now, you don’t have to pray to anyone in particular. That includes the Horned God as well. (I had the same squicked out response you did when I started. I still don’t pray to the Horned God and I’ve been Pagan for practically half my life.) You don’t have to pray to any particular god or goddess, frankly. You can just be general about your prayers to nature or the universe itself, especially if you’re new. You can pray to a general God and Goddess/Lord and Lady, not to a specific deity. Or to a goddess in general, instead of a god. These methods are probably a good place to start until you learn more about various deities as time goes on, anyways. That way, you don’t scrunch yourself into a corner.

The altar you have can be decorated with whatever you want. There is no must for set up. Do you like the sea a lot and really relate to the water element? Seashells, sands and more seashells! Have a little enhydro agate (a rock that naturally has water inside) in the middle of the altar. There you go. Prefer air? Feathers and wind chimes are the direction you should go in. Don’t care for any of that stuff? Stay super general and put some nifty rocks and candles in that space. There’s no rule that says you have to have an alter, either. I actually don’t. I never did because I was hiding my faith when living with my parents but now, it stuck. One less surface to clean and tidy up.

In Wicca, there a lot you can do. Partially because it is a religion that was created in 1957 so it doesn’t have a lot of mileage like other faiths do. Doesn’t make it less valid, it just means you shouldn’t put yourself under a bunch of pressure.

As long as you’re not trying to summon spirits or leap straight into astral projection, you’re fine. You don’t want to get ahead of yourself. Just read a lot of books (stay away from Raven Silverwolf, good gods, she sucks) and take it easy.

(For everyone reading, if rape is a trigger for you, this is the end of the column. See you next week!)

Hi…. The  great witch i am aashu i am 26 i  always wants a succubus for me many of times i tried retuals and everything but  didn’t get one many of times i written letter to the great Lilith but didnt get responce i was trying  in last one year can you help me to summon succubus as my partner and my lover i love succubus can you help me 

-Aashu T

Firstly, my initial response to this email:

This is an incredibly stupid question for many reasons. Why do you think I do spellwork for others? Succubi are not fun romps nor do they love, they rape, which is not fun (ask any rape victim. Any. Guy, gal, doesn’t matter). Lilith isn’t a succubus, idiot, she’s supposed to be the first wife of Adam that is cast away because “she’s too independent” (which is stupid on it’s own). 
Maybe you should just buy a fleshlight and stay out of magick. I’d suggest dating but you probably shouldn’t interact with other humans since thinking of some sort  is a quality most look for. At least I’ll have a question to mince on ABW. This is definitely a stupid question.
Okay, let me break down why this is a really, really, really stupid question. 
Firstly, let’s break down rape itself because the Succubus part is going to be super simple after that. Then the gender part because, holy crap, that’s super evident.
Rape, in short, is non-consensual sexual acts. It does not matter if the non-consent takes form of fighting back, arguing, being frozen as a statue, looking terrified, attempting to leave, being asleep or unconscious, resisting (even super slightly), being drunk or simply any other act that does not scream “consent/yes”. If it isn’t consent, it’s rape. Plain and simple. It doesn’t matter if the person didn’t scream “no” and starting beating the rapist head in with a brick because that rapist happened to be someone the person knew (which is roughly around 75-80% of rapes in total). Here’s how the FBI defines rape:
Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim. Attempts or assaults to commit rape are also included.
I want to focus on the “without the consent of the victim” part, because that’s what instantly turns any sex act on earth into rape. Instantly. Consent is a big deal because of how many people bypass it due to bullsh*t social constructs that usually hinges on toxic masculinity worldwide. (Think of the alpha/beta and red pill/blue pill arguments that are frequent on Reddit and 4chan. And why the 14th/15th century term “cuckholding” is getting a resurgence centuries later.) While there are widely circulated ideas that a “real man” takes sex (rapes) instead of waiting for it to be offered (waiting for consent), it makes for a lot of terrible experiences for the person it happens to. Traumatic experiences. Much, much more traumatic than the childish worry of “I can’t get laid”. So traumatic that you have to warn people of the topic ahead of time so they can prepare themselves in case they get flashbacks from their own person experience with it.
Oh, and it’s illegal. FBI changed the definition back in 2013 because they wanted better accuracy because better accuracy means longer prison sentencing, which I strongly support.
Now, remember the “no consent = rape” bit, it’s going to be important now that we’re about to talk about the succubus part.
A succubus, as defined by Mythology Dictionary:
A demon in the form of a female which attacks sleeping men and has intercourse with them. [BW note: A male version is called an “incubus”]
Now, if a guy thinks that this sounds fantastic, a woman – well a demon – always down to have sex kinda forgets that the words “attack” and “sleeping” are used. It’s rape. If guys thought that rape was awesome, they wouldn’t use rape jokes and rape threats so much or get intensely emo when accused of it. It’s also part of why summoning a succubus is difficult because…if it’s consent, it’s not rape. They rape, which implies non-consent. If there’s consent, it’s a sex act. If there’s no consent, it’s rape. It’s like saying, “I want people to rob me so I just started giving my stuff away to random people on the street.” That’s not getting robbed (the act of having your things taken away from you without consent), that’s donation (willfully giving your stuff away).
In a nutshell, if you’re willing, they’re not showing up. And if they did, it would not be while you’re willing. And it would definitely not be the stuff of dreams but the fuel of nightmares. Example: if you’re a dude not into pegging or stressed limbs, the succubus would make the whole experience 100% pegging and stressed limbs. Because it would be rape due to the absence of consent and crossing of established boundary. Because succubus only rape.
Alright, now onto Lilith, who is not a succubus. Granted, I may have screwed up my Liliths. I was thinking of the first wife of Adam. There’s a different one, as defined by Mythology Dictionary:
A Babylonian goddess. She is envisaged as a winged demon woman attacking sleeping men. Also called Lilith.
Actually, reading what the God Checker link and Mythology Dictionary has, this goddess has most likely seen some historical retrofitting. Either way, this is probably more of what the guy thought he was summoning. Still not a succubus. That would be a regular demon. This is a goddess which is almost more facepalming. If demons are hard to control, deities are absolutely worse. And all to get laid? Oh geez, here’s Oh Joy, Sex Toy’s review on various fleshlights. They’re all in easy-to-read comic form and have discount codes.
This guy wanted Lilith, a goddess that has also been depicted being a vampire and eating babies and raping men, for a partner. As if she would be entertained in a worthless human guy when she already had options of otherworldly demons. It’s a little funny because if this dude thought he could control Lilith, which other deities were having issues doing, it really shows this guy has room temperature IQ, Celsius.
Alright, we got the Lilith bit out of the way. Let’s focus on the gender stuff.
I don’t think I have heard of women wanting an incubus. Wait, no. I remember literally one time a woman said that to me and what stood out to me was how other women stared at her. No high-fives. No jovial agreement, just plain “what the fu-” stares. Y’see, rape is already a horrible and very real threat held over women heads constantly all around the world so it doesn’t sound like a fun sex romp but like the terrible action it is.
Note, this is different from force-laden BDSM acts, which are discussed prior in a non-sexually charged and sober setting to iron out the details. This is a form of consent because all participants are comfortably planning in advance what is ok, what is not ok, where the boundaries are, how to do aftercare, safewords, etc. This is consent in action.
Frankly, this question is the kind of question I definitely want to see less of. There’s being lonely but read Dr. Nerdlove to sort that out.
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