There are several months that I went without doing Ask Black Witch so I’m going through the lot of them today and answering! Some will be grouped together because they’re the same question, especially the dumb ones. As I always say when people send them in: “Good questions are appreciated, stupid questions are eviscerated”.
Let’s get into it:
A few years ago I found a strange object on my front doormat. It appeared to be a kind of wreath made from twigs and also some of the solar fairy lights from my garden. I dismissed it at the time but I’ve had a very bad run of luck since and only just remembered this incident. Could it be some kind of curse? If so is there a way to reverse it? Thanks for your time.
– J. Lee
This question was from months ago! I feel bad I didn’t get to it until now but here it goes.
A good way to know if it was a jinx versus “life sucks sometimes”: When you threw it away, did the misfortune stop after a while? There’s a bunch of other ways to check but that is the top one because no more wreath, no more issues! Otherwise, I think you’re just practicing confirmation bias because things have been crappy for a while and this is the only out-of-place thing your mind could come up with.
I get a few questions like these, the “something suspicious occurred and now bad stuff happens, am I cursed?” and the part that marvels me the most is that practically everyone who asks do not really know anyone who practices magick in any way, shape or form but I have a phone book full of magick practitioners and I don’t ever think the same “I’ve been hexxed” thought.
Unfortunately, life is pretty crappy, bad things will happen, even way out of the blue. I think this situation is a reference of confirmation bias. Bad things were simply happening, this is the only odd thing her mind pinged up and there you go, the thought connection of “Weird wreath + string of bad luck = weird wreath is causing the string of bad luck”. They could very well be a coincidence, not a correlation.
One reason why I say that is because, if I wanted to jinx anyone, I don’t think I would leave a jinxing item right where someone could find it easily. I mean, if you’re going to be a vengeful person, why not try to stretch it out as far as you can? If I were trying to leave it on someone doorstep, it seems more like a scare tactic than an actual jinx.
Now, maybe someone actually wanted to jinx you and this is really why they made this. If so, talk about poor skills! Chances are stupidly good they got sticks from nearby trees, regardless of kind of tree (the type of tree matters in magick), yinked your fairy lights because maybe they thought the “lighting” property of the lights (I can probably bet they were off/unplugged) would “activate” the spell since it is something of yours (but not something worn like clothing or hair). And left on doormat because…they wanted you to see it, I guess? Otherwise, it would have been hidden somewhere to cause latent mischief. It just seems so poorly cobbled together that I kind of doubt that this is a real jinx.
Basically, it’s possibly you practicing confirmation bias and pretty much reading into a weird prank.
Hello. I really need to talk to you. I have been following your page for about 3 years. I even bought the book where to park your broomstick which I do enjoy. I am a Christian but I have a real desire to learn about witch craft. I feel it in my heart. About 3 years ago I was interested in learning about African American people who practice their calling and I found you. I happen to be African American and I feel that you are important. Can I trust what I am hearing? I hear angels who led me here? What advice can you give about becoming a witch?
– Gina I.
I am glad she takes my suggestions, this is very nice. The book is super informative! Thankfully, there is Christian occultism and Christian witchcraft (just means that you still do regular Christian things but use it also in spell work, such as referring to the Holy Trinity instead of the Lord and Lady/God and Goddess, perhaps work in Angel Work, stuff like that) so you don’t have to worry about a major pull between Paganism and Christian practices. I actually wrote about this at length.
As for hearing angels, that’s fine but be cautious. I would recommend doing more research about angel work and keeping up with your meditations, if you’re doing any, to balance yourself. This also helps ward off any “am I possessed/haunted” paranoia that tends to come if you’re not keeping in touch with yourself. Y’know, continue practicing grounding, centering, things like that. I recommend using meditation apps like Intellicare’s Purple Chill if you have any difficulty.
Keep a journal, too. The best you can do is write down what you hear and your reflections so you can review them later down the line. This will help you note trends and patterns in your practice. I recommend being cautious because the thing about angels is that they’re not exactly “people with wings”. Interacting with angels can be pretty scary, especially when you get to Seraphims and Thrones. Angels, as a whole, basically just do God’s bidding and don’t really mess with humans much because, hey, it’s too big a universe to just mess with only one of God’s creatures because they’re so dumb they even attack one another based on how light or dark their skin is. Even giving guidance to a random pill bug skittering across an flower bed is probably a better use of time, at least it helps nature just a bit.
A good Angel Dictionary/Encyclopedia is The Encyclopedia of Angels, Second Edition by Rosemary Ellen Guiley. There is a .pdf version online but it’s a very good book so I strongly recommend buying it if you can, as you can see from the online read-through. This book has an index, bibliographic references, everything to serve as a great basis on reading up about angels according to Abrahamic lore.
Hello, I am somewhat new to the magical world. I am an Atheist and the question I have is regarding that. My question is, since I am an Atheist will things such as magick be weakened or non existent when I attempt to perform a spell?
– Reinhardt V.
Witchcraft is a lifestyle, not a religion. You’re thinking of Paganism, which Witchcraft has plenty of involvement with but Paganism, as a whole, does not hold the copyright on Witchcraft. Magick is fueled by intent and energy work, so you just have to practice on those and modify learned spells that have a focus on deities and entities for yourself.
However, you’re still going to have to do research in spellwork and most likely read up on deities anyways as you learn magick because modern Paganism pulls from a variety of cultures, which had deity work in them. This is so things will make sense or prepared to be incredibly confused.
I have what I believe is a hex with a property of “all hexes and curses stuck” on me. I don’t think the person who did this is still angry and she may have forgotten to remove it. How do I go about removing the hex and any other curses or hexes that are stuck on me because of it? Thank you for your time.
Spells are usually powered by intent so if the intent loses power (being pissed at you) then sometimes it dissipates. If it’s constructed to be “karmic only”, then it stops by itself after it deals out what you dealt out to her, (this is a hyper simplification of “karmic jinxes”). If it’s one of those follow-you-around jinxes, you can break those using dragon’s blood (comes in a body wash formula! Tis nifty!) and bay leaves but if you know the person who did it and the fact that water is under the bridge between the both of you…why don’t you bring it up to them?
Yes, it would be an awkward conversation, especially if the person doesn’t practice magick and this all could be a case of “confirmation bias” (meaning you’re reading into a situation to see a problem that possibly isn’t there) but if you’re certain, bring it up. Maybe you should talk to the person.
I am doing a lot of research about Body Switching spells. I am quite new into Wicca and Magick in general, and I’d like to know if you would have any resources or lectures about this subject in general.
Now, I would understand if you refused to tell me, seeing that a lot of people seem to be asking you to do spells out of fetishes. That’s not my case. My problem is that I believe that, even if the medical processes can appease a lot of dysphoria, I would rather switch body with a person that shares the same problem as me, except from the other biological sex. I have the consent of that person, so this is something we both agree on.
If you would have any information about these kind of spells ( if they actually exist, that is ) I would really really love if you could share to me any kind of knowledge you would have regarding Body Switching.
Thanks a lot for your response in advance.
This – THIS – is how you ask a question! It’s about body switching but notice the reference to obvious research and reading prior posts! The mention of body dysphoria, the acknowledgment that this is not my favorite question and why. This whole letter is why it’s not getting shoved in the “dumb question” section! It is do-able, everyone!
Now to the question because it actually sounds like a question that is transgender based. That’s an authentic question. And I’m gonna answer it right now!
Even for switching for transgendered purposes, it wouldn’t be a perfect solution because it’s not fixing a picture-perfect problem. Gender is fluid and gender identification can be tough. When a trans person is in pre-transistioning, they commonly feel like their body isn’t theirs, like it’s just a rental space they’re inhabiting. That makes sense to want body switching because it slides well with that kind of thinking and reasoning. They’re not switching because of fetish but because they want to feel like they’re in the “right” body of their true gender. That actually makes sense.
But here’s the thing about bodies: they’re unique. Even if body switching was done, there’s little bits and features everyone has that is specific to their body, from the allergies they have or the food they prefer. Even if you switched with your friend, who is also trans, chances are you would get on each other nerves with “You didn’t tell me your body does/n’t [xyz]!” I haven’t even brought up society yet because unless you two are coincidental twins, someone’s going to notice you’re not the same person they saw yesterday In any way, shape or form and the fallout won’t be fun.
In magick, things may be improbable but not impossible. However, this is also a “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should” thing, also. If anything, it would be best for you and your friend to focus on transitioning the normal, mundane way because regardless how you transition, it’s going to be quite an experience that will need some time to get used to. I recommend joining groups and communities for Transgendered people (I’m sure youtuber Kat Blaque has suggestions) so you can help with the dysphoria and talk with trusted, pro-trans therapists to help sort out your feelings. I found this site called Trans-Health, the online magazine for transpeople. I also found MyTransHealth, so you and your friend can find doctors that best suit you! I just googled “Trans Health”, I recommend doing the same, there’s a lot of sites to look at.
Hello, I’ve been looking through your blog but I can’t seem to find anything on this matter except for the body swap strike, however that’s not what I’m looking for (I also have a problem trusting people who want to swap bodies with their “friends”).
I don’t want a spell, because I don’t think I can refine my energy well enough to conduct one yet, but if you could point me in the direction (if I’ve missed an article or if you know a website that I’ve yet to find) I would appreciate that so much.
I’m looking for some way to replace my female anatomy with male anatomy. I want my body, hence why I don’t want a body swap, but I want to get rid of the female anatomy I have. I don’t know if you believe in the Greek gods, but I talk to Hermes and I’ve asked for his help, but I’m still trying to tune into the godphone…
Any advice is appreciated and honestly if it’s too much of a bother then please don’t worry, honest there are no hard feelings you’re probably busy.
Thank you for you time,
Another question that references body swapping but I’m not razzing it. What these two have in common: being transgendered. That’s literally the only reason I’m not ripping into them. Being trans is not a fetish, it is a state of being and what real people actually are so they don’t deserved to get ripped into.
For everyone, Hermes/Mercury is a deity that is commonly used by trans and other queer Pagans as a patron deity because of various mythos (so is Aphrodite and Dionysus, and a group of others – here’s a short list and another one ). A “godphone” is a term in Pagan community that pretty much means being personally and individually in tune with the deities and communicating with them person-to-deity, like talking on a phone, hence the term “godphone”.
I just answered a transgendered person’s question above so I don’t want to give a copy-and-paste answer. Just like her and her friend, I recommended going to sites such as Trans Health and My TransHealth.
Hermes is a good deity to talk to, he’s pretty understanding. I’m sure Dionysus, the Greek patron god of transgender folks would like to hear from you as well. As well as Hermes’ kid, Hermaphroditus. And a slew of other deities. This, as well as working with doctors and pro-trans therapists should be the best bet as you progress along. I also suggest keeping a journal and doing meditations to help focus your mind will definitely help keep the godphone in tune.
I’ve been into magic when I was I kid and in my dreams, sometimes I can fly and a spell caster casted a lot of spells for me but it’s taking forever to get my package, what does that mean?
– Kashawnda C.
It could mean a multitude of things without more details, frankly. Flying refers to freedom, generally. It’s a very common dream, actually. Spellwork in dreams generally refer to transformation or restriction (because spells change things or sayings like “It’s like you’re under a spell”). Since it is something someone is doing for you and not on you, it seems that it’s more of a transformation/transition kind of thing and you’re receiving help. Chances are, in real life, you’re making changes and moves, with the help of others, and they seem promising but you’re possibly getting tired of waiting for the show of these changes to finally appear.
Recently 3 of the witches in our coven have become connected. We each have a spirit (which have all been seen by us before we told one another) and familiar(completed on the past full moon the 3rd witch got hers.. well it came and forced its self onto her). I am not sure what each of our spirits are signifying. I believe mine is a nature nymph. We all feel a event is coming but I can pin point what it is. My birthday is the nearest and it is a new moon. I will be turning 21 and I’m going to a town known for the supernatural. This was planned before this connection. It may have nothing to do with it but I felt I should include it. Do you know what is happening? Is it an event? Good or bad?
Familiars are generally animals that are help the witch bond and connect with their spellwork, so I’m hoping that “forced itself onto her” isn’t in the regular “she-didn’t-have-a-choice-one-way-or-the-other-and-it-was-frightful” type of way. Which would be bad.
Meditations are best to help you see and understand your spirits/entities. That and research on magickal entities because then you’ll understand better what you are dealing with.
As for big events, it’s hard to call if you’re right or not because the only way big events are known that aren’t immediately local, is through news. But if no one reports on it, it’s almost like it never happened. It’s like the “if a tree falls in the forest…” argument.
Now, for you becoming 21 (which, isn’t really noteworthy, astrologically. No usual natal major planet returns I can think of – the closest I can think of is Jupiter and that’s around age 24), going to a town known for the supernatural (this could be Salem, this could be New Orleans, this could be somewhere else. Either way, do not hijack any graveyard dirt from those locations, it happens too much) and it being a new moon (it refers to new beginnings but it isn’t a huge reset button or start button)… I think nothing of great general importance with happen. It might be an important trip for you but thaaaaaat’s about it. The world will keep revolving as it always does.
Now, here are the stupid ones:
These questions are categorized as such because the person did next to no research, just decided to send me an email without really thinking. It doesn’t really matter that I answered the question before, or wrote a whole column on the subject, and it was a rule breaker somehow. Here are the rules (in brief):
- No asking for spell requests/pay for pray
- I’m a witch, not a genie, don’t bug me with wishes, especially things like body switching and jinxes
- Speaking of jinxes, I’m “Black Witch” because I’m a Black person practicing Paganism and Witchcraft (oh wow, such crypticness! Who could have guess? I mean I only reference it on the About Me page and literally everywhere all over the site and the stark lack of “left hand path” material), if you assume I call myself “Black Witch” because you couldn’t perceive the obvious from even a skim of reading, expect no sympathy
The rules are more in-depth around the usual “Ask Black Witch” submission portals but this is the gist.
Let’s get started! By category!
Do you know how I can become a shape-shifter and be able to turn into anything
– Alexander Wilkins
Why do people keep asking me things like this? Despite the fact I have written time and time again about it
Confused for a Genie/Asking for Spell work
I’ve come across a very sh[*]t and harmful woman. I thought I would never turn to black magic or anything dark but I can’t wait for karma to hit her again. she needs a lesson learned asap
– donovan rodriguez
Ahhh, the usual “Thinks Black Witch practices black magick” bit. I need to start charging people every time they send me a letter stating that.. This was a looooooooong email chain so I’m not showing that but pretty much, this person is intensely spiteful but for some odd reason, is going to a witch instead of buying a gun or something (it’s the 21st century, everyone. I’m not a metaphysical hitman. Do your own dirty work). Here are some choice responses this guy decided to send me:
Just thought I’d come to you first because I don’t want to pay a black witch to do the spell but if I have to I will I guess
So, this guy thought I’d go against my fairly well stated/easily found policy of no paid spellwork/spellwork for others and on top of that thought I would do it for free. Free. Maaaaan, I don’t think this guy is jinxed or harmed, he’s just reaping what he sows, which is douchebaggery.
At this point I don’t care about being cursed. after what she’s done to my mental health. so no I won’t stay away from magic. black witches are not hard to find since more and more women have taken interest in it. I just rather look for a skilled one
Uh, if witches who practice the left hand path are not hard to find, then how’d he land on my site? And why do people gender things that aren’t gendered? Seriously? This guy is profoundly an idiot by my standards. Men and women practice various paths, including left hand path (actually, I’ve personally seen either more guys or something close to an equal gender split when it comes to left hand stuff).
I suggested a therapist because if your mental health is harmed, thaaaaat’s who you need to talk to. Just like if someone stabbed you, I’m going to suggest you talk to a doctor. I don’t think it gets any simpler than this. Y’see, when people get into magick for these reasons, that’s a problem.
The for all I know you’re a scammer too with no real information in magic. yes there are dudes too but I’ve come across more women than men who practice it.
I should charge people every time I hear that. I may call it the “Baby rattle defense” because when these folks don’t get what they want, they call me a scammer and other wild things because it’s a temper tantrum. Reminds me of when babies go “Waaaaah!” and shake their rattles in infant fury.
If I’m a scammer, then why am I refusing money as policy? The goal of a scam is to sheist someone out of their cash. That’s why the character “Joanne the Scammer” is always going around pretending to be people she’s not and taking things from others via deception or sneakiness. Granted, this dude said he wasn’t going to pay a dime, scammers generally block folks who say things like that because why hang around a dry well? Time is money to a scammer.
I always have folks who don’t know anything about magick telling me I don’t know anything (despite being cited in at least a couple academic books and taught a workshop) because I’m not providing any useful information…outside of what I have written and posted at length on a publicly-accessed website I’ve ran for almost ten years, complete with a search bar and category list.
This go-around goes on for quite a while so I can spare you all from the rest. It ends with the guy saying he found someone who will do his bidding (either a lie or he found an actual scammer and is being fiscally frisked because, well, a sucker is born every minute) and that’s that.
hi im [H] i some tme ago was serching for help from wiccas for true love spells and one told me me and shannon moore prince of punk embodyment of dilligaf a pro wrestler were soulmates and under a curse keeping us apzart if thats true can u or someone brake the curse for free all the info i can give u is im [redacted] born [redacted] on a monday at [redacted], in [2424 no house, no door] and shannon [redacted] moore born in [redacted] in [redacted] in the usa is all the info i can give you.i have no pictures no noting but what i just gave you.can u please help me? i love shannon moore with all my heart.please help me please n thank you.
– [H] L.
My initial response: “Holy moly, why?! Good gods of the holy divine above and below, what the [redacted]?! Holy [redacted] nuggets, why do people send me these [redacted] things?! Are they out of their [redacted][redacted] minds? [Redacted]!!!”
Why do people send me literally all their personal info? Holy crap, I think I could have gotten her social security card and bank account if I was nefarious. This is the second or third time I got something like this that I can think of.
Goodness gracious, I worked with enough famous people to know that when you’re around your favorites or they’re the subject, the logic part of your brain pulls out a newspaper and goes, “I’M ON BREAAAAAK.” It’s a thing that happens. And before anyone goes, “Oh my god, this person is freaking crazy”, think about the times you freaked out over anything, famous or not, and come back to read the rest of this post. This person isn’t mental or anything, just incredibly infatuated with a wrestling persona, it happens.
Also, for the record, I’m not Wiccan. I’m Pagan. Yes, there is a difference. You don’t assume every Christian you meet is Catholic, right? Apply same logic here.
In addition, this is Exhibit A to Z to Aa to Zz of whhhhhhhy love spells, especially “true love” spells can cause more problems than they are worth. And why you shouldn’t listen to every dink you meet on the internet. This is “you were Cleopatra in a past life” crossed with “Twilight” level of things. And judging from the writing, I’d say this person was a teen. And judging from pro-wrestling standards, I’d say this Shannon Moore person was an adult. And judging from those two probable facts, I’d say that would be a major problem at the outset. Among a metric crap ton of other things.
This is merely just regular fan obsession that, most likely, the person will grows out of. I usually post at least the first name but because I know this is going to be insanely cringe worthy for her when she gets older, I tried to redact and modify everything. I remember being a teenager and I have worked with fans tremendously over the years, it will happen.
General Stupidity/Severe lack of research
Do u know how to make a wish potion
– Jalana G.
Christ, really? This could fall under “confused for a genie” but it sounds like they want to make it themselves (I could be wrong but that’s what I’m reading into this) so it’s going under “severe lack of research” because practically every book in Paganism/Intro to Witchcraft gives basic how-tos on potion making and more.
It would be perceived differently if she said “I’m working on a wish potion but some ingredients are hard to get, like [specific kind of rose parts], what do I do?” At this point, the person is showing some knowledge of what they’re doing, just a little stuck. That’s fine. Sounds a lot better than sounding like they want to be spoon-fed info because they have zero interest outside of what they’re doing. Granted, this question could be asked by a dabbler but, hey, at least they’re doing a little bit of leg work.
- can you turn me into a werewolf very night please
- can you please turn me into were dragon please
- can i have a real tiger tail growing on my butt please as a friend
- or can you fix my computer from cookes and vireses please
– Sara McVicker
These four, separate, moronic questions were given to me between March and September by Sarah McVicker, a young person who, according to what I found, lives in Monroeville, PA that calls herself a professional artist, coupled with an empty portfolio DeviantArt. She likes watching Markiplier and JackSepticEye and has a loooooooooot of spare time that should be better used on her studies and not bothering random people on the internet.
Everyone, please remember I’m a person. With an extremely low threshold for bullsh*t. As in, you’d need an oil driller and radar to find it. And a background in research, including digital research. I understand it’s fun in theory to bother me but get too far with it, and I do get vicious. Heck, I still remember when I doxxed a Bible thumper that tried to be a hateful douche on here (also was from Pennsylvania, but a different part, I think). The reason I’m not dumping her schooling information, home address and more is because I haven’t heard from the kiddo in a while. On top of that, she’s a kid. Telling the internet is bad but I’m sure a personal phone call and conversation to the parents might be worse. However, if she decides to start right back up again, I’m sure her parents are gonna love to hear what their kid is up to when they don’t monitor her activity on the internet.
DO YOU KNOW HOW to call a vampire and if you do, can you tell me how LIKE WITH instructions?thanks!
These are the questions I get in my inbox. Why do these folks exist? Even with my usual snippy ways and saying “Lolz, American education in action, everyone” this is beyond that level of stupid. I don’t care if it is trolling, it’s just not bright. I like acting stupid sometimes but I don’t do it on other people’s spaces.
I can control the weather, and move stuff with my mind. And sometimes my dreams come true. What am I.
– Dylan S.
Don’t know. Don’t care. I’d treat the question better if it were framed better.
Hi i have a question im hoping you can answer ive ask this to others and either they dont never respond back or they just have no answer. Its about theses popular love hoodoo oils being sold ill like the recipe or just what exactly herbs oils and curios would go into them or what oils and herbs and curios to to use to receive the type of attention from the one you desire or admire from a distant. I like preparing and making my own oils better to buying from others to put all my intention placed in. My question is what are the recipes for these oils such as LICK ME ALL OVER OIL which incites Desires, Passion, Seduction, Control,LOTTERY WINNER OIL ,MAKE HIM MINE OIL – Control, Commanding, Passion,THINK OF ME Potion Ritual Oil Anointing Oil,Talk To Me Oil and the Man Trap Oil,.
– Ruby Gem
The actual question in this block o’ text: what are the recipes for these various hoodoo and voodoo oils because the person wants to replicate them instead of buying them.<
There’s probably a range of reason why this person doesn’t hear back from others, I haven’t much clue. However, I don’t really care much for those oils because they seem snake-oil-y to me. This doesn’t mean that concoctions in Voodun and Hoodoo aren’t legit, I’m just saying these commercialized versions are a bit odd to me. Part of it are the names (“Man trap oil”? That’s just…no) and the supposed intent (“control” popped up twice, that’s a problem). For all I know, these bottles are filled with Crisco, random sidewalk pebbles and Italian seasoning.
Here’s some Facebook messenger questions. I am very accessible on the Black Witch fan page. Heck, I have a 100% response time and take around nine minutes to reply. I’m trying to get that little green logo that shows I’m really quick and swift with responding, aw yiiiiiis.
hi how can i become a black magic practitioner
– Sanu Francis
My FB response: Read books? I don’t practice negative magick in particular so that’s my best suggestion
I’ve got nothing to expand on that. Frankly, I don’t practice the left hand path…at all. It’s not my fault if people don’t want to even do the slightest bit of research. Durr.
Hello, I don’t no if this is the ryt place but I am lookin into a black magic spell to get my ex back I want him back badly but he seems happy with his new girlfriend, but he made me so happy, I want him back
– Donna Chapman
This is incredibly awful for the most obvious reason: it’s abuse via controlling, plain and simple. This person doesn’t love her ex, she just wants to make him freaking miserable. She’s upset that he’s making his new flame happy, how she used to have that and now wants it back after the relationship already fell off a cliff for whatever reason. It has completely nothing to do with the ex personally, just that she felt good when he was her’s.
If the ex seems happy with the new gf…leave him alone. It may hurt to hear this but it’s over. You’re out, she’s in. Regardless of what the break up was for. And just from this small intro of a message, it seems like he made a good choice getting away and finding someone new and hopefully far less controlling.
The “ryt” place for her would be in front of a therapist to work out her feelings of controlling others and tendency to abuse and be dominating. This is no different when a guy contacted me on Facebook asking for the same thing.
My concern is my younger brother David. He’s a bane in my side, he gives me nothing but heartache and aggravation. I want to know if you could put a spell on him, so he can suffer as he makes me suffer?
– Rose G.
Why do people never do research? I usually state over and over that I don’t do spellwork for others, on others, about anything. Especially for negative reasons.
If he was abusing you, then I would have simply suggested mundane/non-magickal things like how to separate yourself, etc etc. If he’s just being a pain in your side, then you’re going to have to grow a spine and confront him or deal with it instead of bothering other people to solve your problem.
Or go Greek mythos with it: try to poison him or something. I mean, geez, it’s your family, it’s your problem. Maybe try growing a backbone, that would probably be better suited for your issue. Don’t like being a big sister? Complain to mommy and daddy or steel up and deal with it head on.
I got a couple more but they’re pretty small ones and one that basically warrants its own post but that’s it, I’ve caught up from basically super late July to now in February. Hurrah.