Archive for January, 2015

Here is Ask Black Witch, let’s get to it.

Can masturbation and sex negatively affect, slow down or stop spell work in anyway?

– Dan



Now, I’m pretty progressive but still, this is a pretty sex-neg question. It doesn’t make sense how sexual expression of any sort (short of rape and sexual assault – remember: expressed, clear, enthusiastic consent is important and street harassment is rapey) would bother magick or spellwork. Sex is natural, that’s pretty much it. Why, even sex magick exists, that really makes this question extra odd. This question is an example in internalized sex-negativity, that’s pretty much it. That’s going to impede spell work especially. That and your social life. If you’re that worried, abstain from everything and even try to work with vestigial/virginal deities. And work on your take of sex and sexuality.

Hello my name is Jude and I want to know why I can’t succeed in casting a spell

– Jude W.

This is a broaaaaaaaaaad question. I responded:

There’s a range of reasons, I’ll go over them for Ask Black Witch on Fri.

The immediate response?

Well can u help me be able to

Really? Did you not just read what I wrote?

Really? Did you not just read what I wrote?

Whyyyyyyyyyy do people not read? That’s probably first issue in spell casting. Reading is fundamental.

There is a wide reason why spells don’t work. There’s poor material use (If you’re casting a money spell but use nothing but black items. Black is great for making things disappear or obstacles appear, two things people who want money don’t exactly desire). There’s petitioning to the wrong deities/entities (such as petitioning to Bast when casting a relationship attaining spells, who is a fertility goddess but not a love deity). There’s also not researching the spell properties (this is mainly for high and ceremonial magick. You can’t just slap down a random sigil and you don’t know how it works. That’s just asking for trouble). There’s also not doing enough for energy manipulation practice (such as meditation and visualization). Or you tackled a big spell that’s way too big (like summoning entities such as gods or demigods). Your mindset during the spellworking (were you angry (and not casting a revenge or karmic spell) or just over emotional in a way you just couldn’t get your head together?) Poor correspondences (you casted a success spell in the dead of night when noon would have been better, and on a waning moon at that). You didn’t cast a good enough circle (It happens and some witches (better trained ones) don’t even cast circles). Or…you’re just new.

Spell working is a skill, like any other skill. It takes time and practice. You’re not going to be perfect 100% of the time but you should get better results over time. This is why it’s widely suggested to have a Book of Shadows (or it’s electronic counterpart, Disk of Shadows) so you can track your experiences and spellsworking. Also, cast spells for smaller things like making charms and basic amulets or things such as additional luck or prosperity. You could write wishes on bay leaves and burn them, done. Just practice the basics, build a little each and every time, don’t bite off more than you can chew and you should do fine.

And that’s Ask Black Witch for this month. And I like these new little avatars I made from an adorable app. Now I can make great response images!

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Huzzah. Now my snark will improve +5

The Arts!: Speaking Differently

I’ve been wanting to do this for a while but never figured how to get around to it. Now, for starters, I speak and understand French, Korean, Chinese and Japanese (and obviously English but that should be a no brainer). So that means there is going to be a mix of basic resources to help learn various languages and some for particular languages. Before I begin, I have to say, these are great supplemental sites but still formal teaching is needed so you can successfully speak the languages. So we’ll start general and narrow in for languages. And, please remember, it’s not easy to learn a language. You’re not going to get it immediately and that’s ok. I learned French starting at around 10, I’m still picking up new words and concepts. Same with Chinese. Languages are fluid, basically. Even English spoken 50 years ago looks different from English today and English 150 years ago doesn’t look anything like English from 50 years ago or today. It changes with the time, even if old people are stricken with enough dementia to forget they helped modify the language as well, just like young people of today. Language changes. So if you don’t get it, know that it takes time.

Live Mocha
Live Mocha is a fantastic site to learn a myriad of languages. It believes that to really get the grasp of a new language, it is important to speak to native speakers. Live Mocha will guide you as you talk to native speakers so you understand them and they understand you.

Hello Talk
Hello Talk is a mobile app that is like Live Mocha but for phones and tablets. You can learn one language at a time (I use it for Korean – however there is an update that you can add an additional language for a small fee) and therefore get native speaking partner. Just like in Live Mocha, the conversations are bilingual so you learn the learning language counterpart. Also it will pronounce what you or your partner said the language you’re learning. It’s really nice for those learning another language, however for languages with different script (such as Asian languages or Middle Eastern languages), it won’t provide a whole lot of help if you don’t know their alphabet. Won’t help much if you don’t even know what you’re reading, even if it were pronounced back at you.


Example of a Hello Talk conversation, with translation selected.


However, you can only use Hello Talk on one device so choose which one and stick with it.

Talking Translator
Here is another mobile app to help translate languages but mainly as a dictionary. It can translate between two of its very many languages. Not only will it show the Romanized version of the translated word but also the word in the language’s script – if there is any difference (Such as from English to Arabic or Korean).


I like how it differentiates between word classes, such as noun, verb, adjective, etc etc. That is really useful for when you’re stuck on a word or just can’t remember. You even get a nifty word of the day!


There are more sites to help with learning language but these are pretty decent starts. And as for the apps where you talk to a live person, remember that if you have terrible social skills (as in you can piss off people/make them uncomfortable/think poorly of you in your own language, even if you don’t know why), spend more time with the automatic translators and study books because no one anywhere in the world wants to deal with being made to feel uncomfortable because you made inappropriate comment after inappropriate comment. No one. And if you do have a disagreement, don’t reference “I have 1st Amendment rights! Freedom of speech” because no one else in the world cares. The Constitution is for the United States, not an international document. There’s a reason international laws exist. Don’t be an American idiot, it’s not an honor for them to speak with you, you’re both equals. So if you can’t get past your own “F- Yeah America!” nationalism and/or prejudice/fetishism, just stick with the books and non-chatting apps.

And for Koreaboos, Weeaboos/Otakus: stay off the live-person apps. No Japanese or Korean person wants to hear you basically boil their whole existence down to an anime or a pop singer fantasy. That’s fetishizing, which is dehumanizing. No one wants to experience that while learning a language. No one. Stick with books and non-chatting apps.

Swap of Thinking

Before getting into this post, I would like to say check out the new hand bound hardback Lightning Bolt journal in the Black Witch Shoppe. The bolt glows in the dark and the journal has 120 pgs. Check it out!

Onwards and forwards to the post.

Seems like I get body swap requests way too often, especially from people who are pretty neglectful to read that:

  1. a) I don’t do spell requests/pay-for-pray. Period.
  2. b) I really don’t like being asked for body swaps

Mainly people who ask me for body swaps don’t get a really nice response from me because I’m a fan of research before asking. And I have a search engine on my website, one that works pretty well. Anyone who did would have probably have seen that I don’t do body swap spells and they would save themselves being insulted thoroughly if they just looked elsewhere. Or just talked to a doctor if they want to be transgendered.

The reason I don’t like body swap spells is because usually the people who ask are pretty full of themselves to assume that I’m just going to do this one, teeny weeny, major spell for them. For free. Which, considering what they’re asking for, is the most idiotic thing to assume ever. It’s like expecting to get a Maybach for free because you asked the dealer. Pesteringly. Even I did paid spellwork, it would be so insanely expensive because A) spells are expensive, particularly bigger ones and B) bigger, high risk spells are expensive enough to make college look dollar-store cheap. No one who is asking me is most likely capable to afford it or they would have gone a different route. Trust me, if they’re not smart enough to understand when I say “I don’t do paid spellwork for anyone, at all”, they probably are not sitting in jobs or positions that would pay them enough money to afford it. Those jobs at least would require a shred of intelligence, at least an IQ that hovers some spaces above “paint-drinker”, regardless of field. It would just be cheaper to consult a doctor for being transgendered – if that’s their aim. Though, judging what people write to me, that definitely seems to not be the case.

The askers tend to be selfish about the person they want to swap with, because that person has no idea this is even going on. The asker is completely disregarding with a friend or stranger’s emotions and opinions on the subject. Wow, that’s really…inconsiderate. And they paint themselves as in such a rush, they even say it’s urgent. Dude, there’s nothing urgent about body swapping that you have to nag a person who says they don’t do them at all. There’s mundane solutions for whatever problem they think they have. It would bear a lot more fruit than simply annoying me, a person who doesn’t do any body swapping anything.

If they just want to see the world through someone else’s perspective, maybe they should just learn empathy. That would pose a lot less potential for screw ups (spells sometimes do go wrong. Not often but there is a degree of error. Nothing is infallible). If they want to see what it’s like as a different gender, parade online and on gaming forums as the opposite gender. If you’re a dude, parade as a girl. If you’re a girl, parade as a dude. That should be an experience. The dude is probably going to find reason to as why gender studies and feminism exist, the girl is probably going to see that borrowing male privilege can be useful…but guys are really sexist and rapey-sounding in how they talk and the jokes they make. So she learns nothing entirely new, just got new examples to back them.

I just strongly dislike when people ask me “I want a body swap spell. Now,” because they refuse to do the most basic research to discern if I would even do this for starters (I won’t) and assuming that nagging me will work. Even trying to say “Oh, I have money!” that they don’t have as if my stance on “I don’t do paid spell work” will magically change if one tried to pay me. Seriously, I find it pretty daft and irritating because it could be very easily avoided.

So, no I don’t do body swap spells. Never have, never did. No reason for me to do them, nor do I care. Especially not for others. I don’t do paid spellwork, I don’t like to. I don’t even do spellwork for others. Keeps my load light and less people bother me with their problems. I help people will their spellwork, oh sure, but do it for them? Nope.

Next week is The Arts! Since I didn’t do the language one last month, I’ll do it this month!

Veering Out of Lane

I saw this random letter well in the morning, titled “Peganism” in the subject line. Either it’s a reality show head hunter or a concern-trolling Christian.

“Hi, how are you? Im not emailing you to judge or look down upon, just emailing you to spread the gospel of truth. I see that you are a pegan and are likely involved in witchcraft, spells, astrology etc. Those things are of the devil and are very evil. Don’t be the way this ants you to believe but be the way God wants you to be. There are a lot fo ways the devil can get to ones mind and spirit. He likes to deceive with lies and people that are not aware of the truth. In those instances he takes the vulnerable and leads them downs paths of unrighteousness. Everything of  that is not of God is of the devil and that’s exactly what the majority of the people of this world likes. Smoking drinking, fornication, adultery, and homosexuality are among those things that this world loves but God hates. I would like to talk to you one on one about this issue because this is a very serious topic for me and i want people to know the truth about what’s really going on in this world. If you made it this far i thank you for reading and hope to hear a response from you”

My response:

“Firstly, spell my religion right. It’s five letters, not a challenge. Secondly, at least folks in my religion don’t drive people to kill themselves because they aren’t loved and instead treated super poorly. Nor is it widely common or as accepted for people in my religion to active harm or murder gay and/or trans people, unlike Christianity. Seems like we got the whole “love thy neighbor” thing down better down better than you guys. At least kids and teens don’t wind up dead in our care, you guys look like y’all holding a lowkey massacre. 

Speaking of massacres, for a bunch of “loving” and “righteous”, y’all tend to work commonly with the “join me or die” method when getting international with spreading your faith. What bothers you guys so much about the fact other religions – including some older than yours (such as mine) – because it not like a world full of nothing but Christians would get along, y’all still whinge about Catholics and slag off other denominations like y’all don’t pray to the same god or read the same religious texts.

Dude, stop front loading, you do mean to judge and look down upon. Even I know lying is a sin so stop playing pretend, you’re doing your god no favors being fake and therefore devious to spread whatever He has to say. 

I’m “likely involved”? Dude, skim just the front page of my website, I am very much involved with witchcraft and spells. It’s a huuuuuge part of why I call myself Black Witch, because I’m a Black person who practices witchcraft. And just because your religion finds them “demonic” (and even that’s not fully true once you consider Christianity’s background in the esoteric and, y’know Jesus Christ and supernatural powered self) doesn’t mean it actually is. I mean even though the Bible is toted as homophobic (however that is debated since the bible was penned by man, not by god), where does it say there that you guys gotta brutally murder them. Or drive trans people into throwing themselves into oncoming traffic? Or that women should be actively oppressed to the point of mental breakdown and/or death? Like, as a Christian, you probably should pipe down on the whole “you’re doing something bad because – I mean my god – says so” thing for a little while. Stop throwing stones when you don’t even have a pebble’s worth of reason. 

And notice, I am spelling your religion’s name correctly and “Christianity” is a lot longer than “Pagan”. Maybe your god pulled back on the blessings in intelligence for a reason. So you would pen such foolish emails such as this one.

Dude, stop being a homophobic, sex negative, hyper hypocritical piece of trash. Get over the fact that my religion is different from yours and stop driving people to kill themselves because they can’t stand your hateful ways. 

You wanna do god’s work, then stay out of my inbox and start ripping on Christians who harm others, be it actively or passively. Starting with yourself. You’re the reason why Christianity looks so backwards and barbaric to everyone else! Seriously, shut the hell up!”

Ok, see with this letter, this kind of letter I get ever so rarely. Some nutbag Christian wants to come to my website and share their nonsense as if every religion in this world has to abide by Christian doctrine for some foolish reason. And, yeah, I’m not nice to these kind of letters. I don’t see a reason why since they didn’t start out nice to me.

However, admittedly, I had to look up the word “fornication”, I’m not Christian so I don’t hear the word used much (usually by Christians foaming at the mouth or in reference to a nifty Red Hot Chilli Peppers song). According to the dictionary, “voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarried persons or two persons not married to each other.”

Wait. That’s a bad thing?

Yeeeaaaaaaaaah, Paganism has starkly opposite feelings about sex. We’re not as negative about it. Y’know, since it’s 100% totally natural and the concept of virginity and marriage are man-made and institutionalized concepts. Sex is only a problem when used as a weapon:

– threats to make people (usually women) quiet, such as rape threats/rape jokes

– forced upon others as an act of dominance (such as thinking to “teach that b*tch some respect” or that a lesbian needs to sleep with a guy to “like men again”…by forcing it on her*)

– be forced upon others, be it through passive reference (cat calling) or actively (trying to make a woman drunk so she’s too bleary to consent, cornering her)

– forced upon others via using religious and/or cultural beliefs (such as thinking your wife has to sleep with you because marriage and therefore she can’t refuse)

Remember, everyone: if there’s no clear, willing, enthusiastic consent, it’s rape. And cat calling is not a compliment, ever. There is a difference.

Back to religious differences. My religion greenlights what Christianity calls “fornication” – I mean, with the all the gods and goddess we have that has screwed everything on the gender spectrum (and off of it), it would be incredibly irrational to be sex-negative (and homophobic and transphobic). Even Pagans who pray to more virginal deities have (or should have) a basic understanding of not being as sex-negative on average. Marriage doesn’t make sex holy or anything. Nor better. Stop sounding like a White Republican.

There’s a reason why I have in my Links of Interest. Having sex isn’t bad as long as if it safe and consensual. Who cares about marriage? Fuss about marital rape and theeeeeen you’ll have a point.

And why would I want to agree with some homophobic person? Dude, you guys convince people to kill themselves, how is that Christian? How is hating someone to the point you drove them to murder themselves a good thing? That is so confusing. You’re supposed to be loving individuals but you are some of the most hateful, prejudiced things walking the planet. And you guys talk an awful lot of crap about Islam for folks who are worse by further than a simple stretch. Y’all thought slavery was ok! “Civilizing the savages”? Seriously? Y’all tend to believe women are beneath men for some stupid reason, how is that showing you’re civilized? Y’all wanna complain about ISIS as if they’re a major threat but won’t say anything about the Ku Klux Klan, especially since they’re on the comeback. Y’all wanna “preserve life” by forcing women to go through with unsafe or unwanted pregnancies but then pull all warmth and care when that child happens to be Black, gay, trans, woman or combo! Or, better yet, want to put a gun in their hand and tell them to join the army. For what? Certainly not to pass out flowers to the depressed and in need!

If you’re going to use being homophobic and sex negativity as your selling points, you may need to hope God kills off your internet connection and render you mute because you’re not making Christianity look good by a long shot. You’re just making folks go, “Yup, still hateful as ever. Still want to oppress people like usual.” Might as well have thrown in, “Christianity also supported slavery, do you want to pick cotton? Kinda counts as frolicking in the fields, if you ignore the blatant refusal of your human rights.”

‘Ey, Christian folks who read this blog, you better come collect your “Brother in Christ” because he’s being reaaaaaaal loopy right now. Don’t pull any of that “Not All Christians” crap to me, tell him that. NEW: Now you really can collect him because his info (including Skype and email) is below, thanks to refusing to leave me alone, click here to jump to bottom ->[☆]

What is with all the concern trolling about how I practice witchcraft and that I’m Pagan? That’s not demonic in and of itself. At least people from different backgrounds aren’t worried I’ll try to murder or oppress them because some book told me so.

“Oh, it’s so eeeeeeevil.” How? The occult is not automatically demonic or wicked.

The response I got later on:

“i would like to speak to you face to face or atleast by voice, as i can explain my view better in my opinion. Do you have skype or if not do you think we can talk by phone?”

My response:

“Uh, why can’t you type? It’s going to be the same hateful, concern trolling bullsh*t regardless of whether you say it or type it. You’re view isn’t unique, I’ve heard it maaaaaaaaany times in the 10+ years I’ve been Pagan.”

Maybe, if this was years ago, I wouldn’t mind giving a live chat but dude, now? Nah, it’s not like the guy is going to magically drop the “I’m a crappy person” act over the phone and all of a sudden start sounding super accepting of people from different backgrounds (which is how Christians are supposed to act. Not drive people to the grave). He’s just going to keep going “But what about JESUS?! What about JESUS?!” as if, eventually, I’m supposed to feel bad and then come back to Christianity, rebuking all the chicanery (and fun) I had for the past 12 or so years. To other Christians maybe, this is a fantastic controlling tactic because of the reminder that God is angry and how he’ll hate them and ruin their lives if they don’t get back in line. I’m not Christian. Going, “You should go to church” is going to sound stupid to me. Because I have no interest or even religious reason to go.

Dude responds:

“im not like that, every person is different. I don’t hate you. I don’t hate anyone, thats not what being a Christian is about. You have many that claim to be true Christians but don’t act the part. If a person is not going to be 100% percent dedicated then that person is not a true Christian. A person cant live the lifestyle of unrighteous and then on sunday think they are ok just because they go to church and don’t even pray or ask for forgiveness. You may have met some Christians that are this way but im not.”

He said in his first message that gay people existing is a bad thing. How is that not hating anyone? Seriously?! And why do I care about what hypocritical things Christians do? I already know that happens, it’s actually rare to see Christians be the kind and loving individuals they’re supposed to be. He’s being actively hypocritical here, how is that not like acting like nearly every Christian I have ran into? Does this guy think I’m as stupid as he is?

“You’re homophobic, sex-negative, trying to act high and mighty, sound like nearly every other usual Christian to me. Dude, seriously you’re just like pretty much alllllllllll the other Christians I’ve met. Isn’t there some gay kid you have to bully to death or some pregnant woman to shame for considering getting an abortion? 

Stop pretending you’re a good person when you said plainly that you’re against gay people, how is that a good person? You don’t even know anything about the occult, just a bunch of fearmongering crap that always get said. Get over the fact I’m from a different religion. If I wanted to convince people to throw themselves in front of an 18 wheeler, I’ll be sure to contact you. Ok?”

“I just want the chance to talk about this face to face or by voice. True righteousness doesn’t involve those things in which you said. Why would i want to bully someone, i would never do anything like that. And you may not think i dont know things but i may know more than you know about what you follow.”

Why does this dude care about wanting to talk on a more personal level so freaking much? Besides, this guy must not know what true righteousness is himself because, again, he talks badly about people who are gay, have sex outside of wedlock and harmlessly practice the occult. And I doubt he knows much, he couldn’t even spell my religion’s name right, repeatedly. I’ve spelled names to entities and faiths much more complex than five simple letters and I still get it right. And just about all Christians say “Why would I bully someone?” but they still do it anyways. Ask all the dead LGBTQ folks. And women folk. And folk who isn’t Christian.

“You can type, you can’t be that dumb, can you? Over the phone, you’re not going to suddenly go, “Oh my god, gay people are fantastic! Trans people are god’s creation, just like cis people! You obviously have a different religion so I’m not going to bother trying to sell mine to you. Women have complete rights to their own bodies, even to have abortions if they’re feeling shaky about the pregnancy.” That and I don’t really use foul language in print, but I do verbally. And I would just talk over you the whole time, you’re not going to say anything respectful anyway.

Again, you couldn’t even spell my religion correctly. You proved without a doubt you don’t know anything. You’re homophobic. You proved you don’t know anything. You think occultism is automatically demonic. You proved you don’t know anything. 

Are don’t you have some scientist to argue with about evolution? Stop trying to sell Christianity to me, I’m not interested in terrorizing innocent people. Notice how you’re being super pushy even though I said I am not interested in what you have to say? Why would I want to join a religion that facilitates that. My faith may have gay people, people with active sex lives and spells but at least we don’t have over-pushy people.”

“f course i can type thats not the point the point is i would like to talk to you rather than type as i think i can express myself better that way. im not afraid to talk to a person with another religion as i know who i am and who iam guided by. I don’t down people and talk bad to them, no matter what they do to me. Im not asking for your adress all i want to do is talk. I like meeting new people and this topic is number one in my life.”

This guy is not going to express himself better verbally. Trust me. If his typing and my decade plus experience is an indication, he’s not going to express himself verbally. It’s going to be the same nattering annoyance, just with a voice attached. And I’m not really that respectful verbally when I don’t feel respected so it’s not like he would get a word in edgewise. Simply not my thing.

In addition, this dude downed people in his initial email! Unless he doesn’t consider gay people as, y’know, people. And why bring up fear? This isn’t a mental game of chicken.

“You’re doing a terrible job expressing yourself (and your religion) now over print. I highly doubt you’d be better by voice. I don’t care about whether you’re scared or not, it’s nothing to do with fear. It’s the blatant fact you’re not RESPECTFUL talking to a person from another religion. You’re just trying to shove your religion down their throat as if your faith is the right one and theirs isn’t. You don’t respect the fact I’m from a different religion. You don’t respect the fact that I’m not interested in hearing Christian opinions about my faith. You don’t respect anything. 

Why should I talk to you? You’re not respectful. You’re pushy. You do down people. You slagged off gay people and those who have sex out of wedlock in your very first message. How is that not downing anyone? I don’t care about how you feel about this topic, you’re not really interested in talking to people in honest conversation or meeting new people.  Just shoving your religion down their throat unnecessarily out of the clear blue. That’s not getting to know people.

Are you sure you’re not stupid? Why can’t you get that you’re not talking to me? Or better yet, if you do, I’ll just tell you what a hypocritical piece of sh*t person you are because of how rude and disrespectful you are. You’re really making your religion look as terrible as usual.”

Look, I already have Christian friends and how did they become my friend? By not being prejudiced, terrible sacks of crap as people. I don’t mind talking to them about religion because they’re not shoving theirs down my throat. They already know I have a faith of my own that is separate from theirs, and that is ok. I don’t appreciate – no one does, frankly – having someone peel into my inbox going, “What you’re doing is wrooooooooooooong, so sayeth my religion. That you don’t follow. But you should.”

There’s hundreds of Christian blogs and writings out there, I don’t go and seek them out and go “Sooooo, what you’re doing is wrong. You should be Pagan.” We just don’t proselytize in Paganism. The few who do should get that memo because if we don’t like it when Christians do it, it’s because it’s not a good thing to do. Ever. That’s not the norm. It’s rude and terrible.

Yeah, proselytizing Christians should miss me with that “Let me tell you why you’re wrong” nonsense. I don’t care for how Christians feel about my religion, it’s a different faith. Not every Pagan is perfect (I regularly point that out throughout this blog) but at least we’re not acting this bad on the regular.

And if you’re going to try to talk up your religion, learn to spell mine right.

*This is the same thinking police officers have about minorities respecting them. Ironically, harassing, beating and killing them on sight isn’t doing such a hot job portraying the “Officer Friendly” look.


☆ And this is where the post would have ended if the guy didn’t continue contacting me. Look, I was upfront about not wanting to talk to him and not wanting to listen to anything he had to say. That pushiness doesn’t get you anywhere. Well, except on the path of getting his info put out there, which – after I told dude to knock it off several more times – is what’s happening. I made a post about it on Tumblr since it’s a little pointless to regurgitate all the info and additional evidence since apparently he’s been at this for three to six years. He’s been messing with people for this long and across social media.

Name: Jared B. Tunstall
Blog: Live By the Gospel (Blogger)
Skype: (Jared Tunstall; Philadelphia, United States)
Twitter: @Livebythegospel (rarely used, active since 2010, last tweet was 2012)
Youtube: Prudent221 (shows his face via several videos he’s made)
Facebook: Jared Tunstall (incorrectly lists the actual founding father Benjamin Franklin in “Education”)

I also found the dude’s home address and home phone number but I’ll keep that as my nuke button if he decides to contact again…unless he wants to thoughtfully and thoroughly apologize for his behavior.

It is nearly banana’s how logic bending happens.

Just on absolute random, I saw this picture via my FB feed, it was from the African American Wiccan Society FB group


That’s not deep, that’s stupid and misogynoir race policing as all get out using internalized racism methodologies. Also known as the Afriboo* calling card because if it ain’t stupid and backwards, they’re not toting it. I only censored the commenter and not the original poster because it the OP that introduced the stupid that is this picture.

We all know that I’m not a fan of these folks and let me break down the picture of why these bullsh*t ideas is not helpful to anyone.

Pseudo-scientific jargon: Before I go on, whenever an Afriboo talks, they sound almost effortlessly like the Booked on Phonics skit from In Living Color, also known as “One of Black Witch’s favorite running skits on the show.” Here’s a vid, surely you’ll see the similarities:

The skit cracks me up because it’s idiocy trying to parade as intelligence – pseudo-intelligence, is the definitive term – which is what this guy is trying to do by saying the “the highest level of Neanderthal gene is related to straight hair, which is in Asia and India”. Here’s why that is a stupid thing to say:

– It’s a nonsense feature: the relation of the Neanderthal to straight hair is most irrational because the Neanderthal, being on the human family tree, had a diversity of hair types. Because evolution.

– Asian folks are diverse: Someone from Cambodia is going to look different from someone on the faaaaaaar western end of China, who is going to look different from someone on the faaaaaar eastern end of China, who is going to look different from someone in Sri Lanka, who is going … you get the picture. Lumping them all together is insulting. And racist. They have different genetic histories. End of story.

– It’s a sneak diss: Possibly fueled by the usual dimwitted idea Afriboos have about Asian folks being held in better regard to White people and therefore should be treated with the same disdain because…we’re not in as high favor to White people comparatively? These folks tend to grade in relation to Whiteness, which upholds the “Whiteness is standard/White opinions have highest value” idea that the Afriboos claim they don’t like to support. But treat them as their main measuring stick anyways. Referencing someone as a Neanderthal is also another way to call someone knuckle-dragging stupid, which is more akin to the OP than the people he’s comparing the poster child of the caveman to (I wonder if he grow that 35″ Ombre out his scalp if that’s the case). It’s like he’s trying to say, “Oh this group of people is beneath us, we must demonize them. For ‘da Bwack womminz folk. Powwa to the Black [male] people.”

All this from that one line alone. The dude goes on to identify that – oh noes – this hair from teh Yellow Peril is in fake hair such as Remi and Yaki (which also can come in non-human hair varieties but I guess he wouldn’t know because he probably would think that knowing secretly would make him gay and then oh noes, gay pplz). And that – le gasp – Black women wear it! Everyone stop the presses! Here’s a really interesting fact about fake hair and history – It’s been worn since the dawn of human kind. It doesn’t take a genius to see a horse or another animal with long hair, lop that off and go “Look at me! So pwetty. I’ma strut and stunt on the other village folk” Both men and women wore hair extensions and wigs since forever and in countless cultures. Besides, this dude didn’t write on what to say about toupees, hair plugs or the slick, black stuff guys use to fill in their hairlines or really make their hair pop. I wonder why? That stuff can’t possibly be organic or be 100% coming from materials that originally stemmed from Africa. I mean, why not be equal opportunity douchin’ on folks? At least I would have given him more leeway with that and just focused on the racist stuff.

I still can’t get over about how racist that line “The highest level of the Neanderthal gene is in …the Asian[,] which would include some [of] [I]ndia.” Brah, go join the Klan. Seriously, be like the blind dude in Chappelle’s skit or don’t complain when White folks say the same about you. They got openings and trying to recruit minorities, just don’t be surprised if they ask you if you’re good at tying ropes on yourself, preferably around the neck area.

Now for the fake magic dude was trying to preach. Seriously, folk magick and stupid people don’t go well together. No one who is even remotely intelligent would say, “If you can take off the Neanderthal hair for sixty days, then we can overturn slavery.”

Lol, wut?


First of all, again, Asian folks aren’t Neanderthal, that’s really heartless to say. And again, if you want to spew this, don’t ever whinge or complain for even a second when you catch White folks or any anti-Black minority saying the saaaaaaaaaaaaame thing about you. I am so dead serious. There’s not even a picometer of room to complain because you can’t say jank stuff like this and then get upset when others say jank stuff about you because ‘ey, not like you were being that fair to start with. Secondly, why sixty days? Even if you thought that the hair worked like the one short on The Simpsons where hardened criminal Snake’s hair was turned into a toupee for Homer Simpson, it still wouldn’t make sense. Sixty days for what? The hair follicles aren’t prickling into the scalp and again, why sixty days? That sounds like a number pulled out from the air just to sound remotely (and I mean very remotely) scientific as if this is tried and proven. It’s idiotic. Thirdly, “overturn slavery”? That sounds super dramatic. Dude, enslavement from what? From fake hair? From hyper-Eurocentric standards of beauty? Making girls and women not wear tracks and wigs anymore wouldn’t solve a siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiingle thing. Not one. Their lives won’t get magically better, their existences won’t be all of a sudden validated. Changing a hairstyle won’t change the world. At all. You can have your hair a myriad of ways, still going to be the same person underneath it. Won’t get magically smarter, won’t run magically faster. Nothing. So again, what is being overturned? Also, why just preach to women, why not guys as well about what they should do with their hair. There’s a lot missing on the stance for beard cutting. Like, is it ok or are the ancestors somehow going to get pissed?

There isn’t any slavery that could be fixed abstaining from wearing fake hair can fix. Try starting with inner city school systems, media and jails.

“You can beat the beast wearing beast hair”

Sooooooooooooooooooooo, my natural hair is much akin to being beast-like? What is with Afriboos and always lowkey upholding Whiteness? Beast hair? Might as well just say “gorilla” or something, pretty much there. I don’t really know – or care – exactly for what beast you are referring to in terms of beating but yeah, way to talk down to your own people – Black women in particular because, to mention again, nothing for guys is being mentioned. At all.

“It destroys your power.”

Is this Star Wars or Harry Potter? This makes no sense. Just from wearing fake hair? That’s really stupid. Look, even if the fake hair came from another person, you probably don’t complain about leather clothing, ivory pendants (Afriboos tend to own at least one or have thought about it) or eating meat. Or organ transplants, is dude against that as well? Blood transfusions? Skin grafts? I’m sure if he was in an accident or situation that requires a new kidney, he wouldn’t just go, “No way, I’d lose my power with another person’s organ in me,” or reject a blood transfusion the same way? This logic makes little sense. Hair is dead protein, that’s why it doesn’t hurt to cut it. However, even if someone was suspect of the energy the hair they bought had, there are herbal shampoos and waters they can wash the hair in. Dude, you could dunk the hair in a mixture of Florida water and Rose water to get the best effect. Throw in a few orange oil drops as extra if so. Totally solvable. This is just scare tactics for dummies as well as gender policing of Black women.

“It makes you into a human voodoo doll[,] which is an American invention using associative magic”

So, first we were slagging off Asia and how they’re so evil and controlling everyone with their hair…to Black diasporic folk culture and magick? Woooooooooow, for someone who wants to uplift his people, he sure don’t like his people. Or at least the female sector of it, which is roughly half if not a wee bit over. And more importantly, why rip on voodoo and magic and post this in a facebook group called the African American Wiccan Society?  That’s ridiculously stupid. Not even short sighted, just stupid. Voodoo isn’t even bad in and of itself, it’s characterized as bad in media because it’s African associated annnnnnnd Western movies and media has never really given Black folks or their heritage a positive spin if they can help it. It’s partially why Africa is seen as an all-over poor country when really it’s a diverse continent filled with a multitude of people. Or a Black person can point at something or throw up the peace sign and everyone screams “GANG SIGN”. And why Exodus was casted with White folks but District 9 and Blackhawk Down was happy to throw in as many Black faces as possible (let’s not forget the movie with the Somali pirates, either). Positive depiction: show a White person, negative depiction: show a Black person. So, again, this dimwit is trying to police Black women by upholding White standards – one more time, exactly how does that help Black people? And Voodoo is not just American, it is also Haitian, Columbian, Dominican and more.  And it’s not an invention. It’s folk magick, not a steam engine. Do your research instead of trying to sound scientifically aware. At least he could spell “associative” right, didn’t think he could pull that off. But then again, internet browsers can correct spelling as well.

And fake hair won’t turn you into a freakin poppet by itself. That makes no sense. And besides, what would it control the wearer to do? Kill and murder? Glorify Whiteness? This guy already lowkey does that so no need to have the hair to help. And what about hair that was stolen from someone’s head (because that does happen), what would that make the wearer do? Get a plane ticket and try to get justice on the thieves? And again, this all demonizes magick and Voodoo, whhhhhhhhhhhhy post it on a Facebook group that actively works with magick, some practitioners with actual Voodoo? Why try to use “Oooooooh spoooooOOOooOOoOopy magic, take over your miiiiiIIiIIIiind,” as a way to try to scare women into not wearing fake hair (again, nothing is being said about guys and how they should do their hair. At all.)

“Sixty days. No more slaves”

Are you trying to run for president? I almost wondered if he thought about adding a “Yes, We Can” at the end. Again, sixty days makes no sense and “enslavement” doesn’t come from spooooooky Voodoo/Asian magic. (I really stopped trying to make the connection long ago, how are the Asians doing voodoo to control people again? Like, that’s an African belief, why are folks in Asia – with their own rich history in folk magick, ceremonial magick and all things esoteric – doing voodoo to control unwitting individuals?) Why call Black folks slaves? Nice try going for the emotional angle but everyone tries that angle, how about just saying, “Upholding Whiteness is bad, I mean…look at me. It’s made me sound like an idiot while talking down to half of all the people who share my heritage. Upholding Whiteness turns you stupid, for real. Don’t be like me.” Besides, have you seen how people get human hair from scalp to store? If they could control someone, I’m sure it would be to notify UN officals and Human Rights watchdog groups because skeevy stuff and trafficking. (For UN officals and Human Rights watchdog groups, a footnote**). This is ridiculous.

This guy is just insulting beyond a doubt. Afriboo nonsense like this simply shouldn’t be tolerated. It’s outright respectability policing (as if that’s done anything for Black folks – wearing suits didn’t stop Malcom X or Dr. King from getting murdered for their beliefs) and race policing using internalized racism as guideline. Seriously, how is this supposed to uplift Black people anywhere by just chewing out Black women…and by being racist to other races almost as bad as White people are. Basically, all who are spared from this whinging are basically Black guys who staunchly uphold Western hypermasculinity (y’know, the narrow-sighted, toxic, usually self-destructive kind). The rest of the world apparently has to change evvvvvvvverything about themselves. Starting with the Black women, as if that will fix anything.

Frankly, this guy is a racist, misogynist idiot that only pretends to care for the concerns of women he shares his race with. Maybe focus on real Black women problems such as cat calling, the greatly limited spectrum of emotion Black women are allowed in media and culture to express, the social silence when we’re killed by police or via domestic partners (or in general), the disrespectful framing of Black women in even Black media, the limited resources for Black women (well, Black people in general) who are in need of competent mental health care, Black women who are in Women healthcare deserts – including childcare, abortion services and birth control – and are surrounded with rampant misinformation about their personhood and bodies, which creates cyclical and rampant issues.

Those subjects would be of better use than going, “Wearing fake hair brings down the race. Because oriental people who practice Voodoo. Somehow. Totes scientific.” At least the guy is gone.

*Afriboos: They’re like weaboos but for Africa and Black folks, usually Black themselves, their logic much resembles a dead hamster on a spinning wheel

**If there are any UN officials and Human Rights watchdog groups – firstly, hiiii, I heard there’s a great burger joint in Ferguson, it’s Black owned and everything. A bakery, too. The names slip me but they were featured, I’m sure google can help. Can’t take down structural and institutionalized racism and murderers on an empty stomach. Second, there’s skeevy stuff happening in hair trafficking, please look into it (though I’m sure you’re all aware). Third, you’re welcomed to the Library of Congress for info, Gov Docs is in the basement of the Madison building, Blue core (or look for the big globe, can’t miss it) , new stuff comes daily :3 And pulp bins are across the hall, in case some get mistakenly chucked in, those don’t really get emptied out but once in a while. And visit the Library gift shop in Jefferson! We have Sojourner Truth and Obama finger puppets! And blue, eighth note tea infusers. And book motif infinity scarves that are stylish and super soft.

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