Black Witch

I get a lot of “Body Swap” requests. And I mean a lot. Here’s a recent sample of what I’ve gotten:

Seriously, this is why Youtubers don’t like to be close with their fans, creepy stuff like this

“Mrs.”? Seriously? What’s with the automatic assumption? Or that I’ll help? (Click pic if too small)

Thiiiiiiiiis is pretty revolting (Click pic if too small)

Here’s a snap from one foolish person who asked decided to send me the same question a number of times.

Everyone, I see every email I get, no need to mass send it (Click pic if too small)

And what was it about? Each and every one?

This sounds like something borderline “Call FBI’s children protections unit”

And here is the very most recent request. Complete with my response, numbered to follow flow of convo:

I try to be a trans ally but this is not it at all. Not at all. Not even in the least. (Click if pic is too small)

Ok, time to go into why I don’t like these letters. At all. A second time.

Reason, the first: I don’t do spells/spell requests for others. And never have.

I believe I make myself quite clear, I don’t do spells for others and never have. It’s actually one of the things I tell people not to ask because I don’t do paid spellwork/pay-for-pray. If I did, I wouldn’t have to worry about finances ever again, this is really advanced spellwork, therefore would cost at the very least $5,000 USD. As the starting fee, nothing added on (as in, the price can more than easily grow, based on circumstance of the who, what and when). Up front.

Hey, I believe strongly in socialism but I am American, after all. Capitalism can sometimes be useful.

I don’t do paid spellwork at all because that’s simply how I am. I really don’t care nor want to hear “I’ll pay you” because we all know that’s not going to happen. Also, the initial messages almost always think I will do it for free, they never ever discuss cost. Just “Here, I want this and, despite your many remarks – mainly negative and dissuading – on what I am asking about, give it to me anyways.” Thaaaaaaat’s ridiculously rude, I really don’t care what you’re asking about.

This is why I tell people to research. Actually, that’s my second point:

Reason, the second: Shows lack of research/absolute show of duncery:

It doesn’t take much search to see if I do pay-for-pray or anything. It also doesn’t take much searching to see how I handle other folks who ask about body switching questions – none of them nicely. I’ve minced and lacerated every question I’ve published on the subject.

Everyone, I have a google search bar on my site. It works really well. That and I have a category section to split up all my columns. I use them all for each and every post.

This and maybe people should notice that they’re writing to a librarian, I’m really quite the stickler on research. It’s always a good thing to study and research a blog or anything, especially if they have a search bar about. That way, you can see if your question had already been answered and if it haven’t, if it is ok to ask. It’s one thing if I’ve never wrote about the subject, in remote reference to the subject or whatever have you but body swapping? Just a quick search in the Ask Black Witch category should clue anyone in. If people don’t want to search but want to ask me all the same, that’s their misfortune. I’m pro-learning, not pro-coddling.

Reason the third: Consent and agency, anyone?:

It really seems that when people ask me to switch bodies. It’s usually with someone else. For example, the dude above wanted to switch with their nephew, for whatever reason. I never ever hear anything about consent, agency, whatever. Nothing about how that person is ok with it, and accompanying proof, they’re basically the person as target. And it’s usually desperate sounding, like if they don’t switch bodies, someone will die. Which tilts to something fetish-sounding.

Reason the fourth: Eh, sounds fetish-y:

Even when it is not with someone else, that’s better off for a doctor or it sounds like a right ol’ fetish. And it’s usually guys! I never have really gotten many women asking for a body swap. It’s usually guys and they usually want to be a girl, which is rather uncanny. Some guys, they make it sound like a clear fetish and I’ve read enough Dan Savage and been on Tumblr long enough to know it when I see it.

I doubt these guys want to become women because they’re actually trans or that they genuinely want to experience the world through the perspective of a woman – dude! Here’s this one that sounds super fetishy, even the email sounds odd. I didn’t know it at the time but with some thought and time, that is my theory. I’ll showcase the whole thing down the line, eventually.

It seems a fetish rather than an actual concern because one thing people think is, even if they go “oh, this is permanent, I wouldn’t want to change back”, that this is magick, not science so there must be a reversal spell somewhere. Trust, if these guys wanted to be women because they want to act out a, frankly, misogynistic fetish (it’s based on being helplessly weak and dominated, enforced by gendered social roles), they’ll want to change back once they had their fill of catcalling, intelligence dismissed, lack of job opportunities/decent pay and periods, they’re going to want to be a guy again. The real world isn’t so glamourous. So, yeah, asking a woman – who’s a womanist/feminist (talk about being stupid in pickings) – about this is going to bring insults and sharp jabs in response. Again, research is key. If these folks didn’t want people to give them such a hard time, they should have guessed that I wasn’t the right person to ask. These folks aren’t “I’m trans and I’m scared of the medical process and transitioning is pricy, can you help with a spell”, just “I wanna be a girl [because of fetish reasons]!” Um, no.

These are all the reasons why I don’t like body swaping questions. Honestly, I really don’t like any spell requests because I don’t do any spell requests. Period. At all. But it seems those who ask about body swapping are particularly moronic about it. For people so desperate, maaaaaybe they should research and skim a bit before asking me, a person who won’t be giving any too kind an answer.

Given the nature of these folks, obviously I’ll get more letters like these, which means I’ll never run out of people to skewer. I rather have much more competent asks and questions, honestly, however. I like answering more thoughtful questions, not lapses of thought and judgement.

Next Week is The Arts: (Unfortunately, I’m still frazzled so the list is meager)

• Kat Blaque
• Miles Jai