Ok so I know that on everything I’ve it says not to do a spell to influence another person’s thoughts or actions but how do I get my ex back for good I’ve been in a lot of pain and I want to just get her back I know about the karma thing but I’ve never done anything with black magic before so I wanna learn how it works to thanks for the help

– Landon D.

Before I continue, let’s see if this can put a stopper to potential future questions such as this: if you check my “About Me/Contact Me” page, you’ll learn that I’m called Black Witch because I’m an African-American person who practices Witchcraft, not that I jinx or whatever. So anyone who want to ask me such a question, just keeeeep truckin’. Or just be yourself, that’s probably jinx enough for anyone who have to interact with you. And if it’s for dating, just buy a Bruno Mars album and shrink into the darkness.

Alright, Landon, you’ve got the basic very correct: you shouldn’t influence another person. That means no matter what. You’re scorned over your ex, join the club. The mundane version of getting back at her would be to harass her all the time, at home, at work, at play. That’s illegal. And a douchebag move.

Black magick works in that you’re adding bad energy (sounds new agey, yeah, but it is what it is) into a person’s life to deliberately cause harm. A mundane comparison: Cutting someone brakes (intent to harm) versus not telling them anything and their brakes break (karmic). Then there’s the karmic retribution on you. It is sometimes declared as threefold, some say tenfold, I just say whatever it is you’re going to do, it won’t be worth it for what you’ll get back.

If you’re in a lot of pain, you’re no different from anyone else suffering from a broken heart. Most pop songs wouldn’t be on the radio if the singer didn’t whine about how bad they’ve got the she-left-me blues. It’s a part of life and you can’t get pissed simply because things didn’t turn out the way you wanted them to. When in a relationship, you do run a risk of getting hurt emotionally. It’s not fair and certainly isn’t fun, I can tell you that first-hand, but acting out on your grudge isn’t smart. Here’s why:

– You seriously think this is going to be the only time?: Relationships can suck, given if you keep dating the wrong people (which, I’ve noticed, plenty do). What if you get hurt again? Are you going to jinx the new chick too? Then you aren’t going to learn anything because it’s not like you’re perfect either. You’ll probably grow misogynist (“God, women are such gold-digging cunts. They’re so shady and freakin’ tricky.”) because instead of learning from your mistakes and dating better picks, you’re just going to rub salt into your own wound thinking that you’re dealing fair retribution. Not easy but you’re going to have to deal and find someone better.

– For good?: If your ex is such a terrible person, she’s going to meet her match. Either in the form of a wife-beater, terrible friends, people seeing straight through her or the worst of them all, the male version of her. It burns not to do anything but it’s better than potentially growing obsessed over a bad relationship.

– Relationships aren’t perfect: They’re not. Dan Savage wouldn’t have a job otherwise and love spells would be pretty pointless. Here’s the thing, you’re not perfect – I’m sure if I asked the ex, she probably can list some of your faults just as well as you can list hers – and the girls you’re going to date aren’t perfect. Nobody is perfect. Perfect relationships don’t exist because there are no perfect people. There are people perfect for each other but that doesn’t mean the relationship itself or the people in them will be perfect. There are high times, low times and times you wonder why you’re dating the person that you’re with. That means break-ups and barking up the wrong tree occasionally. They suck, they’re embarrassing as all get out and they promise Kleenex will never go out of business. The only safe route is to either imagine you’re in a relationship with a cartoon character, stay out of relationships or to be more careful dating by getting to know the girl longer and/or stating (and knowing) your deal breakers.

You’re not going to like the advice but move on. Seriously, move on. Take some time to get over the relationship, perhaps a few months or more depending on how long you dated. I didn’t like the advice when I got it but it’s the most that you can actually do to help yourself. Being vengeful feels good but nothing poignant is going to come out of it and you probably still won’t learn a single thing. And I mean learning something useful, such as “I don’t like when the girl I’m dating does this because of that” and so on. That’s actually useful, not hexing someone for breaking your heart.

I’m back with more questions. 😄
 
The first few involve dreams. I’ve noticed that I can foresee events in my dreams; if it’s a planned event the specifics are more clear. Thinking back this has definitely happened before, but I haven’t really taken notice until I got interested in magick and I also haven’t really remembered my dreams. However, it’s been happening more often once I got a necklace with my zodiac sign (Cancer) and a faux opal.
 
~Is it possible that the necklace has something to do with the increase? It’s just a simple necklace from Avon.
 
~I plan on getting a dream journal to write down my dreams before I forget, but is there anything that would help me remember my dreams more?
 
The next question is about pendulums: how exactly do they work and how would they be used?
 
The last question is actually a Lolita question: What is your stance on replicas? There’s a lot of debate on them thanks to Dream of Lolita and I’d like to see a lot of opinions on them.
 
Thanks again!

– Bertina

I don’t mind getting repeat readers asking me questions, I quite like it. Means I’m not messing up. So long the questions remain good, I’m happy.

Precognition, I think almost everyone experiences it. It does increase with magick use because of the fact that you’re opening up your intuition more. Your necklace can aid in that because it provides a visual representation to keep your intuition up. Think of how people have pictures or statuettes of Jesus with them, totally not needed in that Christ isn’t physically in the picture and is not the statuette itself but a visual reminder. The necklace works the same for its own purpose.

When I write down my dreams, I keep the lights off, eyes closed and scribble in my dream journal in (which is nearby, or my BOS, whichever I remember is closer). You forget, I believe, 90% of your dream in a few hours and a pretty big amount within the first 10 minutes. Writing the dream down right after I wake up works for me and I’ve heard it is the best method. Don’t worry about lines running into each other or misspelled words, just write it down and review it later in the day.

Pendulums, very pretty and can be pretty annoying when not used correctly. Pendulums have two uses: answer yes/no questions and to find stuff. When using it as a divinatory device (to answer yes/no questions) you work with the pendulum to either with or without a yes/no/maybe sheet to see how it responds to questions on its own or “program” it to respond to yes or no as you desire. Protip: You have to be verrrrry still or wind up swaying the pendulum so lay your arm down somewhere if you worry this will be a problem. I find pendulums can be problematic because some questions need more than a yes or a no and if it’s for a question you desire a particular answer for, you may sway the pendulum. I know I have – oh, and if you’re practicing psionics (i.e. psychokinesis) then skip out on this divination form, you will affect the result. It is more useful, in my experience, to find lost stuff. I would ask my pendulum (I have several, including one that I think hated me) to swing in the direction of my lost object, saaaay, my glasses. I tell it to go in a circle (or become still) once in the general area and the stronger it responds, the closer I am. Again, be steady. It takes a bit of meditation and work with the pendulum enable to reduce the chance of false positives. The pendulums work by connecting with the collective unconscious of the universe and refined via intent either for an answer or to find something. Or if it hates you, like one of mine did, it’ll just steer you directly into trouble or screw with the answers even if you were as still as stone.

My stance on replicas – for readers who are not aware, replicas are dresses in the Lolita fashion that are replicated designs or prints of popular and expensive dresses in the fashion – is that I think they are useful gap fillers within the fashion. Not everyone is after a name; some like a dress because it is pretty, not because it screams “I have brand”. Some simply cannot fit the small size range of Lolita dresses. For example, I would need a replica of the Carnival Cards dress by Angelic Pretty because A) the color I want it in is sold out and B) I couldn’t fit it even if I could buy it. Since Lolita dresses constrict themselves into such a narrow size range, I don’t look down on replicas and they make some dresses more affordable. Also, there’s the issue with a lot of brand dresses getting ruined from simply coming in contact with water, which the replicas may not do. I know I have only gotten one replica dress, a black Sugary Carnival dress from Dream of Lolita, that has this problem. I hate it because there are mistakes, the fabric is terrible and it faded fast through washing. But it cost almost 1/5th the price of the original dress, which cost about $600, can rocket up to $800 secondhand. A person just has to look around for reputable replica makers such as Oo Jia. I would say look hard at reviews before committing to buy because while a replica dress may be cheaper than the original, it is not cheap by any definition as a whole.

I am getting older by the day, and because of this fact, I am wondering if I will ever find true love where there is passion on both sides and ultimately have a baby or two?
 
I have been meeting too many men who are just not my type or I am not there’s. Whatever the case may be, I am extremely tired of looking. Can you shed some truthful light on me and let me know if love and a family is something that is meant for me to experience or not. Is there a spell to improve my situation? I need to know.
 
Thanks!

– Cali

The subject of true love is a tricky one. I’ve tried to do a true love spread but it became a can of worms over the course of two years for me so I don’t do them anymore. I certainly don’t suggest spellwork because it will be more trouble than it’s worth.

Now, do you see a loving and passionate relationship as little arguing, the guy is just knows your needs or can read your body language like a book, things like that? Or do you see a loving and passionate relationship as something that’s going to have back and forth along with the happy times, you’re going to get on his nerves sometimes, he’s going to get on your nerves sometimes, you both are interacting with each other as people and as friends, etc etc etc? If you see it as the former, you’ll always be unhappy. The latter? You’re off to a good start but still that doesn’t promise marriage and the baby carriage.

Let’s define “true love”: True love, in reference to a person, does not mean they will be perfect in every single way, let’s get that out the way. No one is perfect. Not you, not the President, not the person who collects your bills, not your best friend, no one on this earth is perfect. Everyone is imperfect, has flaws, quirks and issues of varying shades and ranges. There are people who are perfect for one another (for example: your best friend is perfect for you, even if she or he gets on your last nerve sometimes) and that’s what you should look for. Look for friendship, not relationship, from the start. A true love is just a deeply and romantically loved friend that helps you grow, you help them grow and each of you bring something wonderful into the relationship.

I understand the problem that you have, I get the same issue but maybe you should try this: Don’t look. I understand that it can be difficult but it’s advice I get constantly and I hear from a lot of happy couples – they weren’t looking when they found each other. I can’t tell you if you’re going to have the happy family and loving relationship that we all want and I don’t generally do spreads or suggest spells for Ask Black Witch questions. Besides, even if I did, what help would it do? It wouldn’t say, “hey, you’re going to meet him tomorrow” and it won’t provide enough details for you to fully be satisfied. What if you learn you would meet this guy thirty years from now? It would just make you go mad. Just meet guys as you would want to make friends with so you can get to know him, he can get to know you, etc etc etc. There’s no spell I could give you, short of treading on free will, that would make you happy. You just have to let it come to you. You’re not going to like it (I sure as hell don’t, I’d gun down cupid with a scud missile if I could) but you’re going to have to just live your life, continue to improve your life so you’ll be happy – which is attractive, mind you – and meeting people normally.

Instead of waiting, improve yourself for yourself. Become happy of who you are, your accomplishments and etc etc. In focusing on yourself, you won’t be so stone-fast into getting a boyfriend (and ultimately husband and father) toute de suite and that means more opportunities can open up. Anyone, guy or girl, can be super easily turned off by the aura of “Can we date? Plz?” because it comes off as subconscious desperation and can make them feel trapped and suffocated, hence cause for bolting. Can’t force someone to love you nor do you want to coerce them. People like individuality, regardless of gender – and I think you probably would prefer a guy that doesn’t want a woman cling-on dependent (which is extremely different from basic mutual dependency, which is what you – and he – should want because a relationship can’t sail far if there’s no balance)- and it’s great when someone wants you for you and everything that you are. Just remember to improve yourself where you yourself think improvement is needed, enhance yourself for yourself, be happy with yourself, get to know people as people and not potential dating subjects. If it gets to where you like a guy naturally, make sure you have a basic understanding in what you want in a guy. Not surface stuff like money and looks but something that you know you would love to spend the rest of your life with, your deal breakers, etc. It’s not easy doing all this and there’s no promise you’ll die with a ring on your finger and/or a kid to carry on your memory so just live for yourself. It’s really the only thing you can do.

Last month, I had answered an Ask Black Witch about if grimores existed and I responded pretty much with a “Not the olden day kinds”. That was a derp on my part but Nkyinkyin caught my mistake. Here is what she wrote on her blog:

I appreciate many of The Black Witch‘s posts–she fills an important niche in the lives of the young and new, and also puts up with a lot of crap that I freely admit to not having the patience to deal with. I was disappointed with her answer to one of the questions in last month’s Q&A session, though. Someone was asking about the old grimoires and essentially the answer given was that they no longer existed. If that’s the case, then how is it that I have a copy of The Picatrix (the Liber Viridis version) translated by John Michael Greer & Christopher Warnock lying right by my feet now? What about my copy of The Black Dragon and The Enchiridion of Pope Leo III translated and compiled into the The Crossed Keys by Michael Cecchetelli sitting by my right hand? This collection of 50 books on a CD via Twilit Grotto Esoteric Archive, including works by Abramelin, Agrippa, John Dee, and Trithemius? You can check them out for FREE. Hell, even a quick google puts you at the gates of the Internet Sacred Text Archive, where you can also browse any number of famous esoteric and occult works, including The Key of Solomon. Also free, but I’m really sure they’d appreciate donations and purchases of the site on DVD and CDROM right now, just to keep up with the costs of keeping such an immense effort online. Unlike the Grotto, The ISTA is a treasure, a resource that isn’t limited to esoteric texts–you could literally spend the rest of your life browsing that site.

For the “witchier” texts, there’s collections of those too, like the 2 volumes of cds offered by the highly-regarded House of Eleggua‘s Carolina Gonzalez: CD #1 and CD #2. And that’s me just listing what I’m aware of in strictly traditional old school stuff, I’m not even getting into all the physics and history and natural sciences texts out there that I find absolutely necessary if you’re going to practice in the here-and-now and not have a root-bound practice based on and limited by ignorance.

We live in an amazing age, a time wherein pretty much everything anyone can think of has been made accessible to us–things that those old timey (whimey) mages, witches, philosophers, and scholars would have killed to get their hands on. Some of it you’ll find brilliant. Some of you’ll find worthless. Some of it you’ll think of one way at one point and change your mind later. The esoteric stuff is not that hidden anymore; I’ve been able to look up a significant number of titles and personalities on Wikipedia, as they also have a historical context. A lot of the originals of the old works are now public domain, and the stuff that isn’t is not being held hostage by collectors for hundreds and thousands of dollars (but hey, you can get fancy bound versions and classes on how to use them for hundreds and thousands of dollars if you want to do that!). And that’s beside all the individual magician blogs–notes by people that are doing the Work and posting what they’ve discovered.

The tools are out there. What are you gonna do with ’em? Welcome to the new old frontier.

She’s actually right. I had forgotten that while some grimores were destroyed and lost, some were very well recovered. Total derp moment on me but good to know my readers are willing to disagree and correct my mistakes! :3