hi my name is Tsukimori hikaru and …. my mother is shinto high priestess and my dad is goth/musician and i im interested in occultist and belive … i have 1 little brother …. i want to become a spiritual witch …. i ahve recived the tounge language when i chant in the shrine … … i want to study more magic and occult and more about witch…. so some day i can awaken my power inside me ….. please help me if u are real witch ….. please become my teacher …. spells that i cast by my self is darkness … i drop my blood ina bowl and make my blood reflect moon … and call upon Lucifer and Beelzbub with this offering give me ur darkest power or make me ur spawn ….. i try that upon is every full moon… but i needs more power and more study …. will any real witch out there teach me everything u can ill serve u as my teacher….

I smell a fake question – but a funny one! My birthday’s comin up so I feel like slackin off.

Here’s where the rachet parts of the question are:

– Fake Japanese name that sounds pulled from an anime. Weeb alert.

– Wack parent backgrounds, sound like something pulled from an anime as well.

– “Im interested in occultist” – it’s occultism. An occultist is a person who practices the occult

– “Become a spiritual witch”, there’s being a natural witch and a trained witch, spiritual witch sounds pretty fluffy

– Speakin in tongues, eh? Sounds like a collisions course between two different cultures, and one certainly does not sound like the type to have the tongue speaking (that’s Shinto, folks)

– “I want to study more magic and occult and more about witch” – what is it about phonies and their poor ability to string together a sentence? English isn’t the easiest language in the world to learn, I know, but some basic syntax and less abuse of the ellipses can go a long way. This writing isn’t that of a Japanese speaker who has English for a second language but a person who simply can’t write straight at all.

– How I could tell that this was a joke letter: the blood stuff. And dragging Abrahamic/Western spiritual bad guys into it. I don’t think Shinto has room for Christian stuff. At all. And it sounds like someone watched campy witch movies and read terribly written books – or just read Lord of the Flies and thought that the combo sounded spooky enough.

– Keep giving up your blood like that every month and all that you’ll get out of it is a bunch of cut marks for mementos and failed phony hocus pocus

This person is right tho, they does need more study. In normal books. First start with English. Then go to history. Then try philosophy. If you can wrap your head around that (it is tricky), then go on to cultural and religious studies. No real witch in their right mind would take this person seriously. lolz