Here comes the holidays! I guess this is more of a “what to do if you know someone who is Pagan but isn’t out the broom closet yet” post with some bits of “what to do if you’re recently out of the broom closet” in it. Eh, we’ll find out as we go along.

For those who know that someone is Pagan but that Pagan has not opened up to family yet:

It is not your place to determine whether the Pagan you know should let everyone know that’s their faith now. It’s never your place to out them. It never will be your place to out them. It’s up to the Pagan person to out themselves. If the Pagan person that you know don’t want to open up to family yet, don’t spill the beans for them. They won’t appreciate it (I can definitely say that from experience and so can others, don’t do it) and, as I always remind, you could be shredding your own personal relationship with them because you pretty much disregarded their trust. Don’t risk it. Even if you think that things would be so much better if they just told everyone that they’re Pagan and got it over with, remember that life does not work out that way. If the Pagan person is still living with family, you could be risking them getting thrown out or treated extremely poorly. Also, no one likes to be surprised with having to deal with whatever fallout could occur – and yes, they’ll mainly be dealing with the fallout because it’s their problem, not yours – and trying to navigate temporarily rocked familial relationships on the fly. You can be for the Pagan person that you know as much as you like but it’s their move on the when and where when it comes to revealing to the family about being Pagan. And if the Pagan person explicitly asks you to tell the family for them, review it with them to make sure they’re actually okay with it and that you fully understand. Or better yet, tell them to say it themselves.

For those who have recently came out the broom closet to family:
You’re probably going to deal with some douchebaggery. Y’know, family members that think that your religion is a phase or a hobby you’ll grow out of. People who think that while their faith is valid, yours isn’t, which means it’s probably going to be derided or outright disrespected. Usually here I would say that you have to tell them that they’re going to have to choose between their bigotry and you but I understand that some Pagans live with their families. With that, I’m going to have to say you’re going to have to pick your battles but try not to let anyone walk all over you. The best you can do is keep religion a non-issue and don’t mention faith at all or try to inform people about being Pagan, including correcting their inaccurate assumptions.

Even though the holidays are supposed to be bright, merry and gay, it’s become a really stressful time if you’re new to opening up to family about being Pagan. No happiness at all. The best that you can do is to try to navigate it the best that you can.

If you’re not Pagan but know a family member that is, be nice and make them feel welcomed but don’t be annoying with a series of prying questions. No one likes spending the holidays feeling like they’re being interrogated, especially about their faith. If you’re that interested in it, that’s why libraries exist. And you don’t have to interject their faith into everything. If they want to get a glass of water, it’s probably so they can drink it, not summon some random ocean deity. Just treat them normal and if the person wants to talk about it, they will. It’s cool to ask a couple (non-prying) questions but keep it light and few unless they really wanna talk about it. Basically: try not to be a douche about it.

Next Week is The Arts!
– Holiday funsies!
– Play with Shelter Kitties