So, I had quite a week  and due to that week, I think it is best to reiterate this really basic fact and rule about Black Witch:

I. Don’t. Do. Paid. Spellwork. At. All.

So stop asking for it. Especially for body switch spells. I don’t know why but that is the biggest request I’ve gotten in regards to spellwork. While I’m all for understanding the perspectives of others, there’s ways to go about it that doesn’t involve playing out Body Snatchers.

I got an email from a random person and as spell requests usually are, there’s no manners whatsoever. I mean, if you’re going to ask for spells, the least you can do is be a little polite. Y’know, just a scooch. I don’t need overbearing politeness but some civil decency wouldn’t kill anyone.

In an email with “I need a spell fast” in all caps in the subject line (this is how you can usually tell you’re about to be annoyed by the content of the email, capslock writing), inside it reads:

“I really need to switch bodies with someone im a girl and I wanna switch with a girl will you PLEASE do it”

Notice the over-demanding nature of the request and the implication that I’d do it for free since she’s desperate to switch bodies with a girl a lot more than she is about talking to the girl about whatever differences they have.

My response

“Another switch bodies spell request. Why on earth would you need this and what makes you think I’d be the one to do it?”

Seriously, why? And why do people flock to me for these requests? I don’t hear other witches getting this particular request. And why did this person not just research a little bit to find that I don’t do spell requests and that I generally mock folks who ask for body switching requests because generally they’re ridiculous. Just like the phony people who try to spam my comment section with “[So-and-so quack/fake witch doctor] healed my [problem that I probably am at the center of], you can contact him here [so you, too, can be scammed]”.

“I really need to switch bodies with my friends it is IMPORTANT please please please help me a lot people told me u did spell for them I can’t tell u why be cuz if I do I just can’t but please can you do it for me I’ll ow u bing time please”

Nice question dodge because this tells me nothing. This person must use it on their parents often. I have done magick long enough and dealt with people long enough that if you’re asking for something possibly ridiculous from a stranger, you’re probably going to have go to into the backstory. Especially if you’re going to initially approach the person so impolitely and with such poor writing skills. I don’t think there’s a single period or comma in that whole quote up there and I’m just copy and pasting. And she’ll owe me “bing” time? Dude, that’s sounds like a bait and switch right there and she sounds young with saying it because. dude, this stuff isn’t on a favor system.

“This is ridiculous. No way. What a bad question.”

It is a bad question. It would have been smart of her to stop communications here but newp.

“Why won’t you do It please do you want money how much are you even a witch because I read online about people doing it please”

This is where I thought, “How stupid are you?” because where on my site have I ever said I did pay-for-pray and dude, can’t she freakin read? I don’t do pay for pray. She should be begging a reading comprehension teacher for their time not me. And calling my validity into question just because I won’t do as you ask is both dimwitted and incredibly bratty. And she thinks I’m going to agree to anything after this?

1) Request is frankly stupid, a body switching spell? What for?
2) I don’t do spells for others. That’s been mentioned on my site, read it
3) Spell this size cost thousands, something you most likely don’t have
4) Just because you read others doing it on the internet doesn’t mean I do it, you should go to them for tips
5) Reason #1, I felt it was worth mentioning twice.

Instead of wondering whether I’m a witch or not, you should just stop begging or at least read how I treat body switching spell requests on my site.”

I figured list form would help her near non-existent literacy comprehension skills. It’s short, brief and you gotta be dumber than a bucket of paint to not get it.

“I do have thousands to give you for It and if I was you I would do it I still do see the reason for you not to do it I understand that you don’t do if for other but it and emergency please please can you even do spells I don’t think you really can”

She doesn’t get it.

And what a phony liar, any kid that claim they got dough like that isn’t being honest. It’s either a fib or mommy’s/daddy’s money they’re blowing through (which should have been spent on a language arts tutor). And trust, a body switching spell is not an emergency. And if it was and I just don’t get it, welp, she ain’t say nothing. What am I to do if she doesn’t explain her situation?

“Refer to reason 2. Read that part til you thoroughly understand it. If it still doesn’t make sense, grab a friend and have them explain it to you.

I don’t do spells for others, plain and simple. Since you have such astounding amounts of money, waste it on someone or something else.”

How dumb/illiterate could this girl be? I said it really plain and simple, no big words or any complex sentences. I thought it made sense. Even put it in list form and not even a big list to keep confusion at a low. And again, if she was that stacked, why stay on me when you can move on to someone else. Like the shifty, crack-pot non-witch doctors that try to post in the comments. They’d love to take and run off with those thousands of dollars, I’m sure.

“Ok just to let you know fake witch my uncles a website person a person that reviews websites and she if they need to be shut down just say but whatever RUDE”

Ah, here comes the name calling because I’m not bending to some bratty and potentially stuck up young person’s will annnnnnnnd pretending you have power, even if none of it is your own. Dude, a person who reviews websites does not exactly have the power to shut a website down. That doesn’t even make much sense. And I doubt her uncle will do anything because his niece’s feelings are hurt since someone told them “No.” Being told “no” is not a bad thing, her parents should have tried it once in a while when they were raising her. Snarky but firm is what I’m being but she’s the one who started out rude.

“Dude, you were rude from the very first email being super demanding. Being moody and incoherent here won’t help you further.”

It won’t. And is punctuation lost on this person?

“We’ll i apologize if I came out rude this spell just means soo much to me so I’m sorry������������������������������”

Those question marks are all emoticons, they’re supposed to be crying faces and such. I can tell this person probably use this on their parent a lot to get out of trouble. Look, again, if you’re going to be that abrupt in speaking, you might as well start talking about your backstory to why this spell is so “important” that you decided to do no research about the person you asked. This person ain’t sorry about nothin.

“Thank you but I’m still not budging on my hardfast rule.”

Yeah, finding threadbare manners  at the last moment still won’t make me budge on a hardfast move. I don’t even do spells for friends, what shot did this person think they had?

“That’s fine but do you know anyone I can talk to who can maybe ask to do what i want”

Really? Really? Really? Yeah, like I’d send you off to some friend who possibly has less patience than me.


They’d prolly would say something that would get them hexed, not helped, if I sent them to someone else.

Now, this person should have known better. I don’t treat anyone who ask for body switching spells well at all because I couldn’t hear a stupider request – wait, I could but right now, this is taking home the medal for idiotic. Plain and simple, I don’t do pay for pray and that’s a solid rule. So everyone should be on the same page of what I don’t like and the wrong way to ask for something. Now, the person could have been sweet as sugar and I still would have said “no” because , again, hardfast rule but at least I would have much better explained to her that I don’t do that kind of spell work and don’t know anyone else who would be willing to do it.

Anyone else that asks for spellwork to be done on their behalf, you’re going to receive the same ridicule this person did so I would highly recommend not bothering to ask.