Category: Pagan Life


A Friend in Need

Filed under: Pagan Life, Relationships and Dating, Spells & Potions — 3 Comments
February 10, 2012

Being a Witch can be buckets of fun. You got magick, you got faeries jacking your house keys at random times (or that’s just me), nothing can get in your way – you’re a Witch! But what about when your hands are morally tied?

As a witch, you can do anything you want – as long as it does not infringe on the free will of others and if you do spellwork for others, you have to ask first. This can create a problem because what if the person you want to work magick for may be squicked out by the prospect of magick, think you’ll “mistakenly” hex them, or plain think that magick is a notion thought by crazy people?

What about if you just want to make it better?

An example:

More than once I have had a friend who is really cool and nice and wouldn’t hurt anyone (or wouldn’t hurt people who didn’t deserve it) but life still delivers a rippling body slam of problems such as health issues, financial problems, storm after storm of problems that never seem to go away but roll up one after another. And it sucks just seeing them either pretend everything is fine or become stressed from the pressure. It just seems so unfair all the crap they’re getting and all the wrong they’re not doing to deserve such short straws.

Surely it would seem simple to the average person what the solution would be: Just cast whatever appropriate spell and poof, problem gone, everyone is happy and teddy bears are dancing in the street with matching marching band, ticker tape and flag dancers in tow. Nope. Some issues are likely to arise in magick:

– You did what?: The response to witchery varies from person to person and they vary especially when someone finds out they were the subject of a spell. You could mean well but here’s how they see it: Someone just casted a spell on them. One reason why magick is seen as bad is because it is commonly associated with being shrouded in secrecy and being hidden, something that doesn’t exactly breed trust in people. Even my Witch friends would like some forewarning, especially if they attempt to cast something themselves and it clashes.

– Can’t Always Be Superman: Hey, even Superman has had things slip through his fingers, can’t save everyone. It hurts but it’s true. And it hurts more when you think, “Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten involved”, “Was it me?” It’s natural to want to help and save your friends but be smart, it may take more than one whisk of a wand and some clever wording to save the day.  

– Misery Loves Company/Quicksand Dilemma: The issue about caring too much and wanting to help everyone who looks like they don’t deserve the pain they’ve got is that sooner or later, you’re no longer a side participant but now thoroughly wound up in the same situation. It’s like spending so much time trying to pull someone out of a hole that you lose footing and wind up falling in yourself.

– Bad to Worse in 60 Seconds: There are several sides to a situation – There’s what your friend knows, what your friend told you, what you know (totaling friend’s personality, type of situation, the supposed worst case scenario, etc.) what your friend didn’t tell you, what they didn’t know about the situation and every possible side to the situation. Magick could help but it can also backfire and with missing consent, it could backfire badly.  I’ve been there, the clean-up is not pretty.

Yep, rely on the human experience to complicate matters. So what is there to do? The smart move varies. Certainly I don’t suggest the Silver Ravenwolf method where she says you ask them if you could “pray” for them and take that as a yes for spellwork – people think very differently of prayer and spellwork, even if the concepts are strikingly similar. I think that if you can’t work up the guts to ask them for whatever reason, make the safe bet and don’t do it. If you feel strongly about it and don’t want to sit on your hands, at least do some divination for guidance on what to do. Some people are not for that and would not like that suggestion I made but guess what? Life is not so cut and dry like that. You can’t make everyone stand to the side as they watch life kicking the crap out of someone they care about, it’s simply not fair and not natural. And at least with divination, you know what’s going to happen down the line so even if it say ”No”, there’s usually a story of why and results.

A good suggestion if you go with such spellwork is to use spells that have more of a guiding impact rather than try to make direct change. If the issues are money problems, try to cast something that open up opportunities for improved finances and to make sure they’re not touched by the financial difficulty at hand and to make those difficulties clearer so to be more solvable.  If the issue is with people, then make sure that you cast a protection spell. You could cast a binding spell but you might wind up binding the wrong person – or you could cast a “sticky binding” spell which binds only the people who try to make the situation worse or are trying to keep the drama flowing. As long as the person is not trying to make things worse or is actually trying to help the situation, or are just plain neutral, the binding won’t stick to them. Just go with protection and things of the like, don’t try to solve the problem for them, just aid.

Then there are times when your hands are just plain tied. There, you try to help out the best you can without magick. Give them information, be a soundboard, give ideas and try to help out however you can. But remember, not every problem you come across is your problem.

Next week is The Arts! Who’s being featured:

– Sut Jhally, “Why America Can’t Think Straight about Race (Even With a Black President)”
– The 10th Hour
– The Witch and the Babe

And remember, March is coming up, that means new series titled “Comin’ Straight Outta Yo’ Monolith”

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A Different View

Filed under: Pagan Life, Race — Leave a comment
February 3, 2012

Alright, some news on the book Black Witch: Life from a Black Pagan Perspective, Vol. 1: It’s coming out on Feb 25, 2012. No more pussyfooting or anything, it will come out on that day and that’s that. I will be posting pictures in the near future of the book as it is further and further in progress, possibly updating every Saturday to the Black Witch FB Fan Page. The book will be in hardbound and handmade by me. There will be extra content, a surprise at the back of the book. The price of the book will be $26.50 but for now, the price of $18 stands as it is the pre-order price. Yup yup.

Continuing on with this week’s column:

Did any of you read the feature in the New York Times or even on The Root where they interview Black Atheists? So far the interviews are pretty good. There are occasionally some bitter atheists but that’s bound to happen from time to time. The responses to the interviews, at least on the Root, are mildly predictable: People were miffed, mainly the Black Christians.

They said the usual stuff: “Oh we know the truth [that Christ is real and this person is really crazy].” “This is nonsense.”, “This person doesn’t have morals”, etc etc etc. Everything you can pretty much imagine a staunch Black Christian would say.

Now, why is this so important that a Black Atheist was interviewed noteworthy on a Pagan site? Because it shows that Black culture is starting to expand even just a little bit to start including more Blacks. Black culture, thanks to poor representation in media and to important historical periods, work in a pretty narrow scope. Blackness is supposed to be urban, Christian, conservative, preferably male and self-aware accurate cultural history optional. This is not actual Blackness because I’m Black and while I was raised in the inner city, I am not Christian, I am fairly alternative, I am not male and I am very big on actually accurate (read: not gender-wiped, white-washed or wrapped in nonsense) cultural history. I don’t think that displayed Blackness is the definition of true Blackness and it needs to be widened beyond the Christian foundation of Black culture. It is indeed useful in that the history of Black religious culture and the role Christianity has played in it, that goes without saying, but to assume that all Blacks are either Christians or “confused about who they are (code: They think they’re White)” is pretty damaging to the racial “solidarity” I hear so much about but don’t see much of.

Racial solidarity is pretty important. It establishes a basic culture that everyone can relate to and learn from because America certainly won’t do it. In a country that is not at all post-racial and just as prejudiced as always, just without the overt displays such as lynching, it is important that culture of any minority is preserved to the best of its abilities. The average American culture is pretty much White culture on a loudspeaker with little dashes and stirs of minorities just so people can say “Oh, it’s not bigoted; I can see an Asian person!” There’s very little room to express any other culture without some random White person squealing about how this isn’t needed, we have a Black president, they have a Black friend and there has been at least one Black person on their TV (that was most likely a secondary character or an extra), Will Smith has starred in a movie in the past two years and Tyler Perry makes movies so all is spiffy, right?

Wroooooooong. So dead wrong.

There’s so many issues within Black Culture that never gets covered in mainstream media because it is considered “not important”. That’s nonsense because I think if the TV was more diverse, that would probably help out a few issues in this country. The issues in Black culture are important and unique to our culture just like any culture because of our history and how we have interacted with it. Every culture does have its issues but the only way we can solve them is by not ignoring them and catering only to the center, the mainstream within that culture. Just like it is important for mainstream American culture to portray true diverse American culture (and fails to), it is important for Black culture – and any minority culture – to portray true Black culture in all of its vastness.

It shouldn’t have to be said, Black culture is not monolithic. Black People are not monolithic. We are way more than the minstrel depictions and plot hinges on television, in games and in movies. And not only should American culture acknowledge and welcome that, so should Black culture itself.

I think that for the safety of everyone and for the expansion of the race, I think that we should move away from the religiosity of Christianity. I’m not saying bomb Churches and institute a new religion to shape our culture around. No, instead just allow more freedom for Blacks of different religions to have an equal place at the table. Something that, if the Black Christians would have felt it, there would be no end to the discussion of it and it probably would look a little something like this: “Attack on Christianity”, “Have Black People Lost Their Way”, radio shows, talk segments on BET or WorldStar Hip Hop, etc etc etc. It would be everywhere.

It’s okay to have Black Christians but it is important that the culture that they, me and other Blacks reside in doesn’t cater to only them. Just like Paganism, Islam, Judaism, Atheism and other belief systems (would have said religion but atheism doesn’t count), Christianity should be open to criticism. Right now, in Black culture, the idea of Christianity, unlike any other religion, enjoys the ability of being impervious. Black Christians will attack each other all day, all week, assuming every Black Christian they meet is breaking every rule in the Bible at breakneck speed or they themselves will flag out what sins they’re committing while saying “Jesus loves me and forgives me” in the same breath but no one dare attack the religion. The religion is considered gold; the Bible is taken as law and above critique supposedly. But every other religion (or lack thereof) that a Black person could follow isn’t. Christianity should be allowed to be picked apart and its own cultural relations again and again just like any other religion. My religion gets picked apart, my Muslim friends’ religion gets picked apart, Black Christians should not be so invulnerable. I’m not saying destroy the religion but examine it.

Christianity, in Black culture, serves as a security blanket, I am sure. It’s the most unifying thing the culture relies on to connect to others with to the point every Black person is pretty much raised as cultural Christians: even if a Black person doesn’t practice Christianity and never has, it does not mean they don’t know what Christianity is, what the basic stories are from the Bible, the different psalms and spirituals, etc etc. Take Lupe Fiasco for example. To strip him down to a normal person so readers can fully understand and relate: Wasalu Jaco.

Okay then. Wasalu was a born and raised Muslim. However, even growing up, his dad took him to various houses of worship besides the mosque and churches were one of them. It does show because once when spoken to via phone interview some odd years ago, he was talking about death or infallibility, I forgot which, but he referenced Christ and he said, “oh, but He’s coming back.” This stuck out to me because some people didn’t know that this person was Muslim. Ask any of the listeners of that interview and they would have sworn up and down that Wasalu was Christian. The only religious mention that he made was of the Christian rhetoric and sounds as if he was beyond a casual observer of the religion but an actual believer of it because he acknowledged that Christ was coming back and sounded certain about it. It would take a close look at Wasalu to find his actual religious practice (in other words, you’d have to be a fan or read a thorough bio) but so long Wasalu made no mention of it, everyone assumed he was Christian just like everyone else. It didn’t even have to be the interview to solidify those beliefs. There’s the mention of Lord several time in his music, which people would assume it is a reference to Jesus Christ. Plus, there’s little no overt mention of Allah or anything of the Muslim faith, nada, until recent.

Now, returning Wasalu back to Lupe Fiasco and him telling people that he’s Muslim, here comes the surprise – and disdain. Some people don’t mind, Lupe is simply joining the ranks with Busta Rhymes, Mos Def and other emcees that are Muslim. Some were completely surprised because, hey, this is a trick! There were actual responses of people whose disbelief ran along the lines of “This Muslim tricked me into buying an album and making me think he was a normal rapper! Why isn’t he Christian! Now he’s going to talk about Allah and crap!” Yep. Thankfully, since Lupe actually knows how to rap and make sense at the same time, he doesn’t have to worry of his fan base deflating much because some people want to now call him a terrorist. Plus, he has a solid Muslim fan base, always good to have a niche to keep you up and going.

I know that this probably was a little confusing so here’s another: Janelle Monae’s The Archandroid. Apparently, some people believe that it is a gospel album (despite very little reference to Christian ideology – unless the Androids are assumed to be Christian, which wouldn’t make a lot of sense). That’s great and a complement for Janelle Monae, she certainly took it as one and rightfully so, but to anyone who wanted to enjoy The Archandroid for what it is, it certainly douses it because it’s as if Black Christians are going “Firsts!” and trying to stamp their beliefs on it, even when there is barely a hinge to hang from. I took it as a story of star-crossed lovers and an android being persecuted for it because it’s against the rules for humans and androids to date and even more illegal for androids to have human-like emotions so double whammy for Cindy Mayweather. Where you can stamp the album as Christian, I don’t really know but hey, since someone stamped it as Christian, can I stamp it as Pagan? I’m pretty sure with an hour and a couple world mythology books, I can spin some connection together instead of, y’know, taking the story for what it is and letting it stand on its own merit. If The Archandroid was a gospel, an honest gospel, I would become a cautious listener. I wanted to hear a cool story, not another revamp of the Bible incarnate. I’m a big P.O.D. fan I am but even they know how to ease up on the Bible-thumping and just express themselves in earnest, and their music has overt Christian expressions! I understand that Janelle Monae definitely is hard to pin down genre-wise, I like to think of her as genre-less, simply as “good music” and “one of the few remaining signs of real Black music remaining”, but gospel? Just buy a Mary Mary cd and don’t ruin the fun for everyone.

Black culture should be able to exist without Christianity as the home base (at least I can enjoy a Wondaland album in peace) and on a more equal footing instead one religion being the pinnacle and the rest are subordinates.

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Ethics I’ve Learned

Filed under: BW Public Service Announcement, Divination, Pagan Life, Spells & Potions — Leave a comment
January 13, 2012

Ethics are very important in divination and witchery. Every new Pagan is going to have their run ins with ethics but they are necessary. Every Pagan is different and all Pagans are going to think differently as well as could perceive the same situation differently. As for ethics and divination, I have a strict set of rules to go by. Always have ever since I started at 17. These rules are to keep everyone involved safe and are only broken under the most severe situations.

Never make people pay ~ I don’t charge at all for divination. As a diviner, my job is to give you advice on what to do next, that’s it. I’m not drawing up haunting ghouls and ghosts to do my bidding, it’s purely me and what I can gather from the universe. I often tell people I don’t charge because they’re going to find out in about three months what their future is going to be anyways. I know some of my divination friends differ in opinion because they believe a service is given but for me personally, I never would pay for a reading and never have, why would I enforce something different? Plus, not everyone has the money to dole out but could use the help all the same. Besides, what would I do with the money? Nothing noble most likely, just squander it on food and lolita, not donate it somewhere or be useful with it. I am a very fortunate person and I am extremely aware of this. I feel that what I have is a gift to share and help people with, not take money from. I also feel that money can corrupt even the best of diviners because it’s very easy to get greedy and to take advantage of people in need. I will take snacks (I love me some red bean mochi and if you can spot me some good okonomiyaki joints in Maryland/DC, you can have any reading you want, as many as you like!) in exchange for readings if the person offered but no money whatsoever. Besides, I already have a job. I work at my university’s library so it’s not like I’m suffering. I feel best when I’m being selfless and helping someone because they need it, not because I want something in exchange. The only time I ever broke that was for the Divination Days held by my school’s Pagan Student Union and it was to raise money for our group, not a dime went into my pocket. We didn’t charge more than $3 (I controlled the prices) and I made sure all the diviners knew that their primary goal besides raising money is to help people. While I am perfectly fine with fleecing the rich kids, I don’t want anyone undeserving getting mixed up in it. Besides, I’ve gotten so much back in good fortune from helping people and I rather have that than money any day. In addition, nothing reeks “Potential phony” like a $15 price tag for a quick palm reading.

Keep it confidential ~ That’s right, I don’t say a word about another person’s reading because it’s no one’s business but their own. To be loose lipped can bite me in the derriere in ways I don’t think I need to explain. Often time I am sought out in confidante by people who are embarrassed or frustrated by their problems, concerned that they are breaking from their religious beliefs or worried that someone else may find out what’s going on. I understand keeping a secret if a secret has to be kept. I don’t break that unless the person exudes suicidal tendencies or may harm themselves in another way. Then I gotta start talking, usually to someone who cares deeply for them or refer them to a trusted professional. I know when people are feeling suicidal or want to indulge in self-injury, they don’t want to tell someone who they think is going to snitch but guess what, I have to. There’s no special oath a diviner takes before dealing with other people’s problems but we do have a conscience to contend with. I would much rather keep Jiminy Cricket quiet rather than grieving me all day about how I should have said something when there was a chance. I too have wanted to kill myself (and I’m not afraid to say that I still gripe with that a little now, I have issues just like everyone else*) and I know about self-injury from personal experience* so it’s not like the person is talking to some apathetic psychologist who knows only what the textbook tells them. However, I have to bring it to light that the person I’m reading for is in dire need of attention.

I’ve had the awesome luck to read for one of my favorite bands evar! My goodness gracious, I was doing natal charts (astrology) for two of the members. They happened to be the most popular members so of course people wanted to know what I found on them. I never said anything once that would discuss their personal lives or cause them harm from a crazy fan. Granted, I found out stuff about my favorites that, to be honest, I could have gone my whole life and about three more others not knowing about. *shudders* Talk about the saying about meeting your heroes. I wrote nearly twenty pages for each member (something else I’m not doing again unless I am working super close with the person, the fact checking and the checking-fact-checking was tedious!) so there was some pretty sensitive information but they were for those band members eyes only. I still feel wacktacular that I gave them such a rushed copy and never had the chance to share the refreshed and worked-through copy of their natal charts. I never got their responses back (it was a quick meet) and it still gives me chills sometimes wondering what they are.

Don’t read everyone ~ Every diviner, whether they make you pay or not, has the right to refuse a reading. I know I’ve done it before. It’s an added perk in not making people pay because it’s easier to refuse readings, yay for me! Just like I have the right to refuse readings, people have the automatic right in not being read. I can read hands/palms, faces, handwriting and auras but just because I can doesn’t mean that I should. It’s simply wrong. I wouldn’t want someone doing that to me, I’m not going to do it to someone else. While I can easily sneak a glance at someone’s hand to figure out some of their more basic life story, I don’t with everyone. I don’t do it to my parents, I don’t do it to those I look up to or appreciate. I see it like this, if my parents wanted me to know about a part of their life so much, they would tell me. I’m not going to pry about and wind up getting my feelings hurt because I decided to be snoopy. It may not be time for me to know or some things are simply better not knowing.

 As for those I appreciate [caution: fangirling ahead], it goes back to the “meeting your heroes” saying, you never know what you’re going to get and you really don’t know if you’re going to like what you find. In the entertainment industry, often there is a stage persona that is shown to the crowd and the presses, keeping the real person a secret. They go by other names, gimmicks and/or amiable personalities. We think we know everything about our idols and their lives but there are still some things that they (rightfully) keep under wraps for the sake of privacy. Everyone needs their privacy. For example, I love Janelle Monae. I could talk about her for hours on end; she’s such an awesome person in my eyes. I appreciate her style and she really means a lot to me as a Black girl growing up very different from the crowds. I would be devastated completely if anything were to happen to her. Though I find her to be an adorable little ball of energy, cute and with vibrant imagination, I love The ArchAndroid and bought The Chase Suite twice (a digital and physical copy), I’m not going to scan her hand in her photo ops. Firstly, that’s creepy. Secondly, I rather let her tell me her story rather than me find out for myself. How can I say that I care (in the way that a fan cares about a performer) about her well-being by being sneaky? I am confident she’ll speak for herself on whatever topic she has to. She’s a performer and I’m just a fan, nothing more. Plus, what if I find something I may not like that could bust my perception of her wide open? Ignorance can be bliss and I’m stickin to it.

Simply put, I don’t read others unless they would like me to, regardless of person. Unless it’s dream interpretation. That’s so fun and usually people want to understand the dreams they have so rarely does anyone mind me giving some input. It’s so fun to me! I used to have a dream thread back at Fortminor.com but that’s gone now (and I’m still grieving over it, 50+ pages gone, dang).

Can’t save everyone ~ This is the one that gets diviners with big hearts such as myself. Some people simply can’t be saved. No matter how many reading you give or how much advice you offer, some folks are too far gone. Not everyone takes advice when given and some people have terrible misfortune. All a diviner can do is to do the best that they can do and not guilt themselves when things still go wrong. I know I have moments where I still wonder if I did the right thing or made the right choice in helping someone but I can’t dwell in the past and I can’t save everyone. Not everyone wants to be saved and there are times where you have to save yourself. They’re very scary times but they do happen. All a diviner can do really is just guide best they can. At the end of the day, the person I’m reading for has to figure out what to do with their life, not me.

Don’t rope a person into doing witchcraft ~ You won’t believe how often I hear people who have met shady diviners and had to do some form of magick to make the bad thing go away. If it is against your beliefs to do magick, it’s against your beliefs to do magick. Be firm in your ideals. If the person says that you have to do it, know that you don’t. More often than not, a person is not jinxed* but with a case of bad luck (or a negative perception on life). Often these people are roped into doing dangerous things that doesn’t make sense like laying in a bath of lye for a month or foolish things like buying a $400 pair of leather shoes from Nordstrom (why Nordstrom, I dunno but that’s usually what I hear) to spit at or whatever have you. I never would tell a person to do witchcraft to solve their problems, often times that’s not what’s needed. If they needed magickal assistance, I would explain everything piece by piece so they fully understand everything and it’s usually small. Like smudging (cleansing) a house with sage if they think they really need it or anointing a dollar with bayberry oil for money (and a copy of the employment section with a red sharpie. Where d’you think the money’s coming from?). If a person is happening on bad times, I usually tell that person to solve the problem the way their religion sees fit. If that means they are to pray to their god for an answer, that’s what they’re supposed to do. I’m not going to drag someone waaaaaay out of their comfort zone and possibly get them hurt or mistakenly kill them. 

It’s up to the Pagan to decide what their ethics are, just know that it is important to have them and they’ll carve themselves out sooner or later. Books and teachings can only go so far, it’s up to the Pagan to live, learn and make mistakes. What’s the point of being Pagan if you’re living inside the velvet ropes of life anyway? Make mistakes but don’t be reckless, though. And don’t be afraid to learn from the mistakes of others.

That’s the BW column for this week! Next week is The Arts! Who’s being featured:

– Racist Political Ads
– Disoccupy
– Sh*t Girls Say (for Black girls)

And the week after that is Ask Black Witch! Get it goin’ and send in your questions!

And don’t forget to read my interview from Black Pagan

Also, please help this little kitty from the Charm City Animal Shelter named Little Mouserat. He was born with no eyelids and needs surgery. Without surgery, his fur will constantly rub against his corneas until his eyed are damaged to the point that they need removed (vet says 2-3 years). His eyes gets very dry from not being able to blink, too! Any donation will help, this poor kitty has already been through enough. Click here to donate and learn more. Thank you!

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The Invisibility Cloak: Race and the Pagan

Filed under: Pagan Life, Race — 6 Comments
January 6, 2012

Awwww yeeeaaahh. A topic I’ve been meaning to get at for a long ol’ time. Don’t like it? Check the name of the blog and move on somewhere else.

I was just reading a book I had recently gotten, The Magical Household: Spells & Rituals for the Home, penned by Scott Cunningham and David Harrington. I kinda wanna take it back to the store. I bought it because I just recently moved into a new apartment and I was so stoked about it that I pretty much bought practically any crap that was witchy and pertained to it. I would have purified my cat if there was some home warming spell asking for that if I didn’t check myself at least a little bit.

I don’t have many books on the Craft or on Paganism itself and The Magical Household reminded me why: It’s too White.

Yes, the book claims and actually does talk about spells from different cultures such as Chinese culture and Native American culture, even Raymond Buckland said that “[It is] a delightful compendium of bits and pieces of folklore gleaned from Europe, China, Hawaii, and other parts of the world.” That’s really nice of him and it’s a little true, I see references to Chinese goddesses and Native American rituals to keep your home clean and totally absent of astral nasties here and there. The book was made in 1983 so I guess I shouldn’t expect so much inclusivity but it still strikes me nonetheless. The mentions of different cultures are kind of glance-overs instead of in-depth looks at the spells and rituals from the culture, it is clear the book is very much western. When mentioning anything African, it relies on the go-to of Egypt as if A) It’s not a country in Africa and B) That can check Africa off the list of continents represented in the book. I’m sure part of this is ease for the reader because you can’t just post a Chinese house clearing ritual without needing something Chinese and potentially inaccessible. Plus, too much focus on any “exotic” culture and it would suck pretty fast.

It is far too common that just about any book in Paganism (or simply mainstream anything) is written from the White perspective. White, middle class (or middle-upper class), but at least the gender reflection in modern Pagan writings is a little better than the mainstream given that women have strong voices in the movement. But that’s probably where the “diversity of Paganism” culture stops.

If you’re a minority in Paganism, it is very bright and clear that unless you’re a picture on the wall, you’re probably not going to get represented in any well-rounded way and shouldn’t expect it. The common face of Paganism is White and suburban and the current expressions of it are very well rooted in White culture and most of White hegemony. For many minority Pagans, that means dealing with being thrusted into White culture whether they like it or not – or just study alone and remember that the author doesn’t mean it but they probably assume you’re White.

Just because someone is part of a different religion doesn’t mean they’re potentially any less of a douche in the race and culture department. Thanks to the invisible knapsack of White privilege, it throws an invisibility cloak over minorities. To keep from going too broad, I’m going to focus primarily on the Black Pagan issues as different minorities have different issues depending on how White culture decided to shape them in the eyes of the public and mental landscape of society. You see, I’ve learned through experience and hearing the experiences of others that Pagans love rooting for the underdog – I mean, we are one so it makes sense right? So stories of things happening to minorities anywhere in the world is terrible and tear jerking, right? Even issues that happen in their own home country such as America or the UK, there is an “Oh, some people are awful” kind of reaction. Y’know, as if racism exists in a vacuum and only shows itself when a lynching occurs and stuff like that. As long as there’s no voice from the side of the minority, it’s a one-sided show that can sometimes turn into a near circle jerk of “Well, we’re Pagans! We’re better than that. Those Christians! How dare they! Another sordid testament to the religion itself. What meanies. We would never act like that, the Goddess says love all!”

Let the minority open its mouth, even criticize Pagans and their shortcomings in the culture department and watch that cooing and sympathy drop quick. All of a sudden, it’s “We’re being attacked” and rationalizing ahoy. Talk about some of the humanitarian issues in this nation and how it disproportionally affects minorities and the working class, they’ll claim it’s from not doing enough hard work – this is America, after all. (Yeah, how that occupying working out for you?) Mention words like “institutional racism”, “tokenization” and “privilege” and up come the defenses. I’ve dealt with a stunning variety of Pagan women or Pagan men who thought they don’t benefit at all from any form of institutional anything and definitely not privilege because they’re Pagan, bigotry only benefits you if you’re Christian and Christian only. That, as Pagans, they’ve dealt with all sorts of historical bigotry that my race could not fathom such as the Burning Times, the Salem Witch Trials and the loss of some useful occult texts. Yup. I totes wouldn’t know – or maybe I would since I am Pagan. Though, I have never gotten a Walking While Pagan so maybe the jury is out on that one.

Yep. The colonization of Africa, which is still reeling from the effects to this very day, unlike Europe; the clear problems in race and police politics which are usually brutal and baseless against a minority with a bad rep that have always existed and has existed to this very day; a nearly whole cultural wipeout via systematic psychological, mental, physical and emotional destruction of a whole race that still exists to this very day cannot at all sum up to the prejudice that was incurred in Europe and the New World by those of European descent. Not trying to make this a Suffering Olympics but to be honest, it is pretty unfair to assume that what Pagans are enduring in America is worse than what other minorities have endured and not only but guess what? That assumption ignores the intersection of minorities who are Pagan. It ignores what Black Pagans have to deal with since they have a combo of two separate cultures that has to endure harsh prejudices (Black, Pagan) and how it will intersect within the cultures they reside in, the Black Pagan can easily become an outcast twice over: Blacks won’t get along with them because they “turned their back on Christ” and Pagans aren’t sure how to take them because as most Pagans are White, so will be their perceptions on the Black Pagan’s race. Oh joy.

This leaves a lot of Black Pagans in limbo about their faith. I’ve gotten letters from several readers where they said they thought they were the only ones who were Black and Pagan or said that since they found a Black Pagan publication, they are going to be a little more open-minded about the religion instead of brushing it off as “weird things White people do”. If you don’t see it, you can’t be it – this is the foundation of a lot of Black Pagans who are on the fence about their beliefs because no one wants to give up their culture for a religion – something, at face value, it appears to be when it comes to Paganism. No one wants to be the cultural ambassador, no one wants to willingly deal with racial tension, no one wants to meet subvert racism face first and be forced to deal with it. They probably do that already, why add to the pile? Here comes the assumptions of reclaiming African faith (because if you’re Black, why ever would you experience another culture?), that you’ve just hopped down from their television set and everything the tv told them about you is taken as fact (but in the same breath will bristle if you assume the same for Pagans), to be patronized about your culture (“I love Black people!”, “You’re not like other Black people”, “I wish more Bla – I mean African-Americans – were like you.”) and other thoroughly annoying nonsense, all for wanting to practice your faith as you see fit.

Then there’s the cultural swagger jacking that is very prevalent in Paganism. So many White people thinking that they can relate to Egyptians, Native Americans, Africans, Asians (preferably Chinese or Japanese) – or that if they try reeeeeeally hard enough, they’ll be one. Its official name is cultural misappropriation (it’s also “cultural appropriation” but “misappropriation” sounds more accurate to me) but you can call it being a culture vulture or cultural swagger jackers. These people love Isis like there’s no tomorrow, but can’t seem to get her skin color right. And they think all Egyptians have been the same since the pyramids. Ask them about Egyptian politics, culture and history and you’re either going to get a downpour of whitewashed bullsh*t or just naïve chatter. They feel Isis in their heart, though! No need to pay attention to what the humans (who are directly related to the culture the White, Western Pagan is trying to jack for their own needs) are doing. They may instead feel close to the earth and practice Native American rituals (*koff*incorrectly*koff*) but call Occupy Wall St “Decolonize Wall St” and prepare to be pegged a rabble rouser and told “We’re all Americans. It’s really sad what happened to them but they have casinos now! And they’re so beautiful!” Yah, maybe their spirit guide should point them to some official stats on life on a reservation and the grandest form of jacking anyone of anything ever done in American history – if not world history. What happened to Native Americans wasn’t simply swagger jacking, that was an outright, government-sanctioned heist. Then you have most Asian acknowledgement in Paganism is rife with Orientalism. Asians are supposed to have this mysterious culture that science just can’t get a hold of. Asia is this place of exotic mystery and mystique. As long as Asians don’t speak, they’re pretty and have such a calm around them. White Pagans will eat this up in a heartbeat – think of how many Pagans you have met that talk about yin and yang, Buddhism (but they only know about Buddha/Siddhartha, Kwan Yin and whatever kung fu movies mention), Chinese dragons (but suck at the different Asian lores – yep, not all Asian dragons, and lores, look and act alike), and other forms of Orientalism – but ask them about the Monkey King or even what China was going through during the 18th century and how do they feel about Japan constantly crapping on Korea throughout history, expect to be met with stares. Then there are the African adaptations (and severe Whitewashing) in mainstream Paganism. Talk about the beautiful rituals in the sub-Sahara but couldn’t tell me anything about kente cloth and doesn’t understand that African thinking, almost regardless of what diaspora it is, is going to be a little hard to grasp if you’re a cultural outsider because Africa developed differently than Europe (and had all the cool stuff before Europe pillaged it). They look at African gods and goddesses but are entirely disrespectful of the history and culture that sits behind them from the native spirits in Africa to the Orishas in the Americas to even the cultural conducts in even African-American culture. Snatch and grab of culture, pretty much.

When faced with such disdainful perspectives that on the surface are very kind and open but based on having the ability and privilege of looking at history from the colonizer’s side they’re not noticing what they’re doing and no, the White Pagan of today doesn’t own slaves, force Asians to build them railways and pay them in opium, perform a mass genocide of a native race or were the people who destroyed the nose of the Sphinx via cannon fire but blindly walking around in the privilege that every culture is – and should be – an open book for them to study and take what they want while leaving nothing behind except a pretty pissed off race is no better. Nothing is wrong with exchanging information and learning something new, but something is definitely wrong with trying to get info from another culture for one’s personal gain and then force said culture to assimilate the parts that aren’t so well liked. Asia, Africa and the Americas are treated like specimens to be examined. Isis should be Black or at least Middle Eastern, not White. (Heck, Jesus Christ should look Middle Eastern. Kinda hard to be White and living pretty much a stone’s throw away from Iraq rather than a stone’s throw from France. As in, if Rick Perry saw Him, he’d scream for Homeland Security to take away the terrorist.) Buddha isn’t a funky trinket, he’s not even a god and wouldn’t even want to be, he’s a prince that learned the truth of the world and “made right” the errors of his actions the hard way. The gods of Voudun do pick those who want to work on them but I don’t think they would pick so many people who look (and sometimes subconsciously think) like the very people who oppressed them and persecuted their followers if they didn’t pick the awfully White-looking Middle Eastern guy.

Being Pagan, it’s a lot like being an American. Anyone can be an American, regardless of race, creed, gender, sexuality or background – but there is one face of America that is often touted and if your skin is darker than your newspaper, you’re not it. Same with Paganism. Behind the “Come one, come all” lip service that is often touted, it’s got an undercurrent mentality that any minority isn’t aware of, it will take them in a riptide away from a really decent faith. In other words: Being Pagan doesn’t mean you’re infallible of making the same cultural slipies that the mainstream society makes so often. Just ask Occupy.  Simply be mindful and well-researched of other beliefs and keep respectful to them – and the people around you. Not everyone likes being invisible. Or occupied.

And must I say “Not All White Pagans Are Like That?” Lol, just read NALT.

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Be Honest, Why Don’t You?

Filed under: Divination — Leave a comment
December 16, 2011

So, in the world of being a diviner seems mystical, right? Some lady in a turban that talks with an accent and is never wrong, correct? Her glass ball is the mirror to the future and simple to trust. But what is forgotten often in that picture is how a diviner is a person and hence apt to make mistakes and bad calls.

Diviners, no surprise, don’t like to make bad calls. One outstanding reason is because it helps fuels the “Diviners are frauds and cons” stereotype but another is because a life just became affected and it sucks knowing you’re the person they went to and trusted and you let them down. It’s broken faith. But it happens for a variety of reasons: tiredness, second-guessing, knowing too much about the person which can color the reading, etc etc etc.

In university, a friend of mine was introduced to me via another friend and he had a vat of problems ranging from girl problems to illness and having some drama of his own between being Muslim and managing Jewish student groups in effort to bridge the interfaith gap. So, consistently he asked for a reading and since he was a friend, I didn’t mind obliging. I think there were only few times where I suggested otherwise when he asked for readings from other friends. Despite reminding me that divinations are considered sinful in Islam but he asked for a few readings for reassurance.

I gave fairly uplifting fortunes. That things would be okay for the most part, but not to assume that things are going to be – poof – all and well. It just didn’t match what I felt intuitively. What I felt intuitively was that good days were going to be a way’s off but I worried that maybe I’m just leaning too heavy on the doom and gloom and perhaps it’s not that bad. That and I couldn’t predict the global economic collapse which screwed a lot of people up, including my friend. I would see the signs but I’m not an economist so I wouldn’t have pointed to that but to personal circumstance. I couldn’t see the forest for the trees, so to speak. Hell, I didn’t even know I was in a forest, I just saw trees, grass and sky.

We fell out of touch and I always would worry about those readings with him particularly, worry about their validity and if they were true myself. As far as I knew, he had an illness treating him poorly and was easily triggered by stress. Had difficulty with energy, sometimes couldn’t hold down food, already was wracked with stress, I guess I subconsciously (and consciously) didn’t want to add to that. I wanted things to be better, so that’s pretty much what came out of my mouth. I also thought that I was teetering too much to doom and gloom and didn’t want to do that, figuring it was just me being weird. I think I should have listened and opened my mouth.

Thanks to Facebook, we managed to reconnect and talk for a bit and he told me how things turned south for him but with one piece of good news – he’s not sick anymore. Apparently he never was, it was a misdiagnosis thankfully. So he’s fit now but still dealing with the problems affecting most Americans now and wishes he had gotten a more proper warning. Now he’s sworn off readings, saying that they’re sinful in the eyes of Allah anyways. I think that’s a good call.

The part that bugs me most is that I wonder what would have been the response should I have said that something really bad was coming and with no currently foreseeable end. Most people don’t respond well at all to that, especially if they’re going through bad things already. It’s like “What if I’m wrong and I just stressed out a sick person for no reason?” Plus, back then I wasn’t so on the pulse of the economic climate of the world like I am now (still not (and don’t want to be) economist grade but am learning quickly) so even if I could feel something was amiss, I couldn’t tell what it was. I may have dreams about hurricanes before they come but I don’t dream about bankers the same – and even if I did, I just would probably have written it off as A) I should watch my spending or B) something weird about prosperity and the draining of it…I’ll watch my spending. Even my ex-boyfriend was struck with pretty much the full hilt of the housing market collapse and jobs being difficult, pretty much the poster boy of the victims of the economy but I still didn’t get it until way after the problems swallowed my relationship whole, among other issues ticking away at it. Still pissed about that one.

My friend is very hopeful of the future, and hope is good. But still it doesn’t shake how bad it makes me feel because geez, I would always think “Man, what if I said this?”, “Man, I totally missed that, should I say something?” I thought I would see him one day in the halls but that didn’t happen so I would always stay thinking. It sucks to second guess and worse not be able to help. Divination does open up the mind to the unconscious universe for an answer but with nothing for the diviner to connect to for themselves, bad calls are made.

It sucks to make wrong guesses but it important to express that the circumstances can sway even the best diviners. I think that it’s because diviners don’t live in a vacuum. We have good days, bad days, quirks, biases, moods and personality. We live in the same environment as everyone else, etc etc. A diviner should be as objective as possible so not to get the reading mixed up with emotions or personal thinking but still trip ups occurs.

Usually with mistakes, the most you can do is learn and deal but some mistakes are harder to just pick up and move on from. They’re the kind of mistakes that make you wonder if this whole metaphysics thing is simply parlor tricks like some people say or is the fault just theirs for being incorrect. It kind of reminds me of a volume of a favorite manga of mine The Tarot Café where Pamela, the main character, once read for a blind person and instead of saying what was really on the cards (whether you know tarot or not, some cards simply convey bad things are coming just judging from the art, 10 of swords or The Tower is a great example) she made up a happier tale that was completely inaccurate. Granted, the main character knew that crap was about hit the fan Mach 5 so she wasn’t second guessing and opted for the safer route like I did but I did understand that she lied only so the blind person could feel peace for once by simply being told what he wanted to hear: It’s going to get better. I guess I wanted the same and went for the “spared feelings” route.

Is it good to be honest? Oh sure, always shoot for honesty and go with your gut but know that you’re going to have to make a tough call sooner or later and you’re also going to slip up sooner or later. Not always but occasionally it’s better to go with the happier story that could give the person the boost they need to see through the hard times they’re already going through. Okay, not better. I think it is more accurate to say it’s human, not better. It’s more human to understand that someone is going through something terrible and is constantly stacking up and to want to ease things a little. Even doctors have done it, telling terminal and critical patients or their families that things will be fine simply out of human sympathy. Is it right? Depends on the person you ask but it’s completely understandable why it happens. It’s difficult to be cold and unfeeling, especially when using an ability that requires feeling something. This does mean you may have a reading you’re not so sure of nagging you for a few years only to find out that it didn’t pan out like you hoped it would and you’re going to feel crappy about it but at the very least, learn while you kick yourself. And keep those blind choices to a minimum – reserved only for the hard times.

Or better yet, you could just put down the deck and say, “I don’t feel confident in reading for you because I sense something that I’m not sure is accurate and I certainly can’t describe.” That’s probably what I should have done.

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Who Hurt You?

Filed under: Coming out of the Broom Closet, Pagan Life — 2 Comments
December 9, 2011

Before I continue along with my column, I would like to address any potential curiosities of why there was no Black Witch Public Service Announcements (BW PSA) last week regarding World AIDS Day. The short answer is that I don’t care about World AIDS Day as a “holiday/awareness day”. My long answer is that I don’t care about World AIDS Day because AIDS and HIV are terrible pandemics that are rife through the international Black community and other minority groups every day. It takes way more than a day of kumbayahs and reflection to beat this disease. Every day, not just on Dec. 1st are people being infected. Every day, not just on Dec 1st are people dying from complications the disease causes. Every day, not just on Dec. 1st are people misinformed about the disease and it spreads, both the misinformation and the virus that rides under it. This is every day, not just for the first day of December. If any readers would like an extensive learning on the subject, please go to the Links of Interest on the sidebar and click Greater Than AIDS, it’s a great starting place. Stay protected, get tested and remain informed. It’s more than a physical disease, it’s a Black social crisis. [/soapbox]

Continuing with the column:

Dealing with Christians in the Black community can be a funny experience. Funny “Dear god, this is weird” during the experience and sometimes funny “haha” afterwards. Regardless, sooner or later, the excuses, arguments and pseudo-concern start to repeat themselves. One that always makes a return like a stubborn computer virus is the question, “Who hurt you?”

Yes, folks, you can see one installation of happening in Mental Mentality and I can assure you it has happened a few more times after that instance. Now, I’m sure that some random reader is thinking “Don’t say anything, problem solved.” Yah, it’s that easy. Not really, mate. Ask your gay friends how they fare when living in a world where rampant hetero-normativity ties their hands and mouths when they can’t talk about their relationships as freely as their straight friends, get questioned why they “choose” to be gay (BW quick note: they can’t choose who they like but you can choose whether or not to be a dick about it, choose wisely) and risk getting fired or worse, killed if they show any sign of liking the same gender. Same here. A Christian can do anything they like just about (enforced laws withholding) when it comes to expressing their religion and not catch the same “oh, it’s a phase” crap that I and other non-Christians catch. Take the Norway terrorist for example. We’re not going to assume all European-descent people are intuitively capable of airing out a room with a few blitzes, that Christianity is the religion of crazy and backwards extremists, that you have to suspect every Christian is packing enough heat to make hell look chilly to the point laws are made about it and media will openly demonize Christians as crazy murders in a second. No tv shows making them the enemy, no cable channels dedicated to spreading hate about the religion, no nothing. Despite one ill-balanced and trigger-happy Christian White guy, society doesn’t assume all Christians, especially White Christians, are all potential murderers like the very same society does about anyone who is Muslim or even potentially looks Middle Eastern over 9/11. Religious privilege sucks if you ain’t got it.

So, carrying on from that rant, many Christians ask “Who hurt you?” when you correct them about your religion or even bring it up in passing. Hey, they like to talk about their Christmas plans, I like to talk about my Yule plans, it happens. Of course, they don’t blurt out with “Who hurt you” right off jump, no no. They first try to clarify what they just heard: Did someone just say they didn’t believe in the almighty power of Jesus? Then, they attempt to insert their faith in nearly every utterance, especially after they figure out your religion has nothing to do with theirs. They expect you’ll magically catch the faith in Christ and abandon your heathen ways right then and there. Continue to refuse and bam, there goes the “Who hurt you” because apparently converting away from Christ and some of his less stable-minded believers means that you must be a victim of sexual abuse or any other form of abuse (but they seem to have a preoccupation with sexual abuse). Well…that’s nonsense, to be frank.

This implication gets on my nerves so much because what it says is: “My religion is so great and I couldn’t see it any other way. No one would ever leave the protective hold of Jesus unless they were severely abused, which would trick them into leaving thanks to the Devil and his wicked ways. The church does have legit abuse cases that aren’t talked about but maybe if this person feels connected with, they will leave this devil worshipping and idolatry of false gods and return to the one true and loving god [that couldn’t protect them from alleged abuse, but that’s another subject].”

Christianity is nice but I say this all day, every day: Christianity isn’t for everyone. Nope, it’s not. People change, their views change and while most Americans are raised Christian (I was), some figure out that maybe this religion doesn’t work for them for one reason or another and go elsewhere more spiritually beneficial. This revelation doesn’t come from abuse, that’s tragic to assume every once-believer is a victim of abuse and the transfer to a different religion is a symptom of said abuse instead of the conversion out of Christianity could be of its own benefit. This is boisterous thinking because the Christian believes that A) Anyone who leaves Christianity must have been severely inflicted somehow to even think of leaving Christianity B) If you have someone who was once a Christian then ah-ha! Even if that person is well adjusted, they must be a victim of abuse or something traumatic enough to steer them away from the everlasting love and benevolence of Christ. C) Any person who believes in a god that is not the Christian god must have problems somehow because there is no other god besides Christ and His Father so this must be a lie and a sign of self-defensive delusion.

Why is this nonsense? Because A) Christianity, the religion itself, can sometimes be its own exit sign. There are many reasons why people leave the religion and usually they are legit. Not everyone agrees with some of the tenements of Christianity such as homosexuality being a sin, woman is inferior to man, conflicting verses, etc etc etc. B) Abuse doesn’t make people run from their religion usually. It makes them definitely have unsettled responses to what has happened but insta-conversion isn’t it. To assume every person who has left Christianity did it as a response something as traumatic as abuse is wack for both ex-Christians and the abused. Those who are Christian and abused usually hold on to their belief in Christ stronger (sometimes to the point Jesus is the not-so-sticky tape keeping them together) because they rely on Christ more to get them out of their jam and have faith that Christ will oversee their recovery, not the opposite. Conversions due to abuse do happen but they’re a reaaaaaaally small minority and it usually shows itself in the person’s personality and in their religious practice sooner or later. C) There are thousands of religions in the world, even I haven’t heard them all. Guess what? That’s okay. Because there are over 7 Billion people on this earth and it would be absurd to think that every member of that 7 bil.+ would believe in the same faith, completely ignoring that different cultures with different faiths exist and that every single human being on this earth does not know (or care) about Christ. Simple as that.

It sucks for those who actually are a victim of abuse because the talk around it usually is in the vein of ignoring the abuse for what it is but working around it and making sure that the faith is still intact at least a whit but not really taking down the person who did it. Or worse, not even believing the victim and ignoring them – yet being an abuse victim the first thing the Christian may think of when someone says they’ve transferred to a different religion: “Oh that person must have been abused somehow and is simply acting out.” Real swift.

I do understand that Christians are taught that their religion is the only one, true way to God and if you have that hammered in your head since you were young, it would be a little odd meeting someone who was once Christian but not anymore. Given the current Christian is taught that no one should (or can) leave the religion, it would be easy for them to believe that the one who left probably has something wrong with them to the point that they felt like turning their back on what is perceived as a very rudimentary idea of being, to have unwavering faith in Christ and henceforth, be easily led away by Satan from the path of righteousness onto the path of condemnation and wickedness. But here’s the thing: following a different religion isn’t being led astray on the path of righteousness. It’s a different path of righteousness.

It isn’t fair at all to those of other religions because we can’t do the same. It’s not right to assume someone is a victim of violence just because they don’t follow what you believe anymore regardless of religion but it is not fair that if I were to meet someone who said they were once Wiccan or Pagan or Witch but moved on to something else, I couldn’t ask who harmed them. There are tons of dabblers about and while I do wonder of their motives sometimes, I couldn’t (and wouldn’t) outright assume it is because someone treated them horribly – though if you said you were a hardcore witch and then changed your mind in a short period of time, I might assume you probably read too much Harry Potter and took The Craft too seriously. People change, people figure out who they are – sometimes at the expense of others’ nerves – but never assume that if someone left, it’s because of a horrid encounter they had. No religion is perfect and not everyone will agree with the same religion because not everyone thinks and feel the same. If you used to be a Christian but moved onto something, you’re damaged goods but apparently if you move to Christianity from another religion, you’ve seen the light. Something doesn’t seems right.

It isn’t fair to assume that if everyone was Christian then all would be good in the hood. Nope, there are deep divisions in Christianity that disprove the notion easily. If you run into someone who used to be in your religion but isn’t anymore, don’t ask if they’ve left because they’ve been hurt somehow. It’s not a rude question to ask why they left, it can make for great conversation, but it is rude to assume something bad had to happen for them to leave. I left Christianity simply because I didn’t fit well with the religion. I’ve never been sexually abused by a preacher or anything, I just didn’t want to be part of a belief system that I didn’t really believe in. And I’m certain I’m not the only one and not in the minority either. People convert for different reasons but it isn’t a symptom of abuse or neglect. It’s a symptom of people wanting to follow what’s right for them.

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Coming Out of the Broom Closet and Choosing your Supporters

Filed under: Coming out of the Broom Closet, Pagan Life — 2 Comments
December 2, 2011

Coming out of the broom closet – revealing that they are a Pagan or a Witch – is not an easy thing to do.

I am all for someone coming out of the broom closet – revealing that they are Pagan/Witch – but please keep in mind, it’s just as risky as coming out of the closet, if not more because there are still stronger stigmas out there that doesn’t get addressed. Plus Hollywood needs something to run to when they’re fresh out of ideas and apparently Witches and psychics do the trick. A lot of thought should go in revealing your religion to whom, how and when. Some folks respond very well to the blunt approach (not many tho), others have to get warmed up. If the parents already have expressed their opinion about psychics, Pagans or witches and it’s negative, maybe you should hold off until you’re on your own and with a ready support system of friends and people who care about your well-being.

If you choose to stay in the broom closet because it is too risky at current, that is perfectly fine and understandable. It sucks, I should know, but it’s necessary if it puts you at physical, financial and/or emotional jeopardy. You’re just going to have to learn how to adjust and live kind of a double life. And let no one force you out that closet. If fallout happens, that person is probably not going to put you up long-term or send you rent money. If they are Pagan themselves, that’s their choice and their consequences to bear, not yours. So for people who are reading this and aren’t Pagan but know someone who is and hiding it from their parents – don’t force them out because you think that’s the best choice for them. I know you love them and think they shouldn’t lie to their families because deception is wrong and they come from what seems like nice families but this is challenging their core beliefs and could cause unneeded misery on your friend’s head. You can’t support them nor promise them a solid future without suffering. Don’t make hints around their family and don’t joke about it as an intro to admittance. There’s no amount of humor that’s going to comfort your friend if they become homeless because of your “bright” idea. Just be there for them and let them choose when to out themselves. It’s their life, not yours.

Alright, got that out of the way. I love supportive friends, but sometimes their heart is in the very right place but their mind is completely elsewhere.

Now, should you, the Pagan firmly stuffed inside the broom closet, get ousted, it would be time for damage control. If the slight is small – you had an amethyst lying in the sun, you said “gods” instead of “god” – you can lay low and wait for everything to blow over and keep the faux pas in mind. If it’s something big like they found your BOS or a book of witchcraft that you own, time for an impromptu confession. Just be honest, you got caught. Tell them that you’re Pagan/Witch, pause for the freakout if they have one, and tell them why you hid yourself from them for whatever length of time. Now is the time to be an adult, even if the parents aren’t acting like ones themselves.

Whether or not you spill to your family, you still need a support crew: someone to talk to, learn from and raise yourself with. They can be friends, people at metaphysical shops (that’s how I got my bearings) and online spots. The advent of the internet really makes this easier than ever. You can make friends with other Pagans, Witches and psionics. Look at my The Arts! Samhain Edition for a couple suggestions of where you can hangout online.

While I’m all for friends and support nets, there still are snakes in the water when seeking out other Pagans. You have to be cautious of people who say they’re bigger than thou, want you to run away from home (and into their arms), and/or want you to do things that are against your morals or are plan illegal – especially if it involves a minor. I’ve had the…luxury, to be polite, to meet these people and have other pagan friends of mine tell me of others. Every teen witch book you’ll read will warn you of this and I’m no different. Here we go:

The “Great God/Supreme Witch”: This megalomaniac here thinks he’s (can be a she but it’s usually a guy) some great and fantastic being that really just wants to get into your preferably underage pants. He claims he has all sorts of amazing powers from the great and holy god (if he mentions a deity, research it! Here’s GodChecker, it’s awesome.) and he wants to impart the wisdom to you, oh young tenderoni – I mean, sapling. Young sapling. And the way he wants to do it most likely counts as statutory rape in all 50 states and territories if you’re a minor. If you’re not, just take away the “statutory” part. Yep, if this guy wants to meet you in person, I’d say pass up or if you wanna meet him, have it somewhere public and bring a friend or two as well as a fully charged cell phone. If you don’t want to meet the guy (which is smart) but you know exactly what he’s doing – which is being an online predator – tell someone you trust and call the cops. Grand Lord of the universe, meet Grand Jury of the American judicial system.

The psycho psychic: People like these give people like me such a bad look. And to top it all off, they’re not even real! They can’t shut up about their super powerful telekinesis, foresight, and anything that makes them sound like they’re a rookie recruit of the X-Men. Dear god. I think a good saying that can be applied to this situation is “those who do know don’t say and those who do say don’t know” – if I’m using the quote correctly. Basically, those who usually act like Marvel or DC comics pens their life story usually are people who want to “stand out” from everyone else and to bolster their low self-esteem by saying they’re a powerful individual that are capable of otherworldly feats. I’m not saying psionics does not exist since I have a personal background in it myself but these kids don’t have it. Period. Never even budged a psiwheel, made water turn cold, or even focused the heat in their hands. They’re posing as something they think is better and cooler than them and, in their mind, that person is a psychic. All that talk they do is hot air. The phony lays claims to big things (“That volcano? I did that.”), anything to make their lives look like it came from a superhero movie. They have huge egos and no brains. And they get on real psychics and psions’ nerves because closed minds don’t come with closed mouths. The over-skeptical I was talking about in my first column? Chances are crossing paths with the psycho psychic partly made them that way. The average psionic and psychic such as myself doesn’t blab and boast around about how “powerful” they are… unless we would like a vat of psychonauts and nutjobs that are relentless in stupidity and fear knocking on our door. Instead of pretending to be bigger than life, we may be excited about finally moving that psiwheel a full turn and how tiring all that practice was. Or frustrated that we can’t read someone or some object as perfectly as we would like. This stuff is normal in our lives and treated as such, no need for extra attention. Fairly aware that we’re not Magnetos, it’s cool what we do but it ain’t like it didn’t come without training. I’ve been doing this stuff for a while (not as much as I used to, though, fairly rusty now), so it doesn’t often come up in conversation with my friends unless something is wrong and I could use a second opinion. I don’t throw that weight around because to me, there’s nothing to throw and I definitely don’t want the attention it’ll bring. Besides, if I’m so good at what I do, why boast?

Pro-Drugs/Pro-Death/Pro-Screw up: These people are in serious need of a reality check…and maybe a trip to the rehab center. They believe that because they are invincible, they can completely obliterate their bodies and minds and think you should follow. They hate their parents, been very close to being institutionalized, problems with authority such as committing actual offenses and getting caught for them, possible harm to animals, possibly mentally unstable, etc etc etc. They think that now they have magick and a different God to answer to, no matter what they do, it’s alright. It’s not alright. These people need help and unless you have a fantastic grip on yourself and who you are, they’ll just be anchors around your ankles. If you can (or have to) deal with them, remember not to confuse what they’re doing with the religion. There is nothing in Paganism that justifies harm to yourself, animals or others. It’s a nature-based religion, not a religion of over self-indulgence. These people are just using the looser tenements of Paganism to wrongly justify what they’re doing. It happens in every religion but with Paganism it simply re-affirms the “self-destructive weirdo” stereotype. They have complexes where they believe wholly that no one likes them and lose every potential friend they could have, which at this point is their fault. Never change yourself for someone else but if you’re being a total jerk and complaining about it, either improve yourself or deal with it. No one wants to hang with a self-hating junkie, regardless of religion.

Ok, what other mental cases that lurk online and offline? Ahhh, the persistent noob and the mental Christian.

The persistent noob: They’re new and super excited. OMG they’re gonna be supaheroes! I’m glad they’re so gung ho about learning magick, Paganism and/or psionics but they ask a lot of questions – mainly to you – and won’t do any research of their own since you’re their reader digest version. It doesn’t seem to matter how further skilled you are than them, you could have even started the day after they did, it won’t prevent them from pestering you if they think you know more than them, even if it’s something small. I don’t want to dissuade someone from learning metaphysics if that’s what they want but please keep in mind to do your own homework. How else are you gonna learn if someone does the learning for you?

The mental Christian: Now, not all Christians are crazy. It may seem like it when you’re any religion besides Christianity but not all of them deserve a padded room at a mental hospital. There are some pretty well-mannered and level-headed Christians out there but they’re not the ones to be wary of (But please do make friends with them! They’re super pleasant and some of the nicest and warmest people you’ll ever meet!) but the ones I’m talking about do fulfill the “Christians are crazy” stereotype. They’ve found out you’re “straying from the flock”, as they would put it, and want to get you back as soon as possible. They use scripture after scripture to support their frenzied point that you’re ruining your life and it’s all going to be downhill from here. Turn your back on Jesus and he’ll turn his back on you but he’ll love you unconditionally if you stay. Well, how spectacular. They’ve whittled the holy son of God down from an archetypical being of mercy, peace and benevolence to a vindictive, bipolar and overemotional friend with major abandonment issues. Despite what they say, I don’t really count these folks as Christians (but they do). The mental Christian doesn’t even have a very sound grasp on the Bible themselves and use tons of scare tactics to frighten you back into Christianity. They tell you that you’re being persuaded by the devil, that you’re trudging down a path of wickedness and sin, that you’ll be hexing people and eating babies and God won’t hear your prayers. They’re so vehement because they’re trying to save your soul from the fiery pits of Hell. That’s nice but forcing a person to remain unhappily in a religion doesn’t exactly please God either, I don’t think. The mental Christian is only doing what they think is right but you have two choices, either debate them on it or try to explain your newfound belief system to them the best you can. Sometimes these folks do come around and grow to understand that they’re not the only religion a person can follow and sometimes they don’t but it’s not your job to make them fully understand and it’s not your fault if they don’t understand. But remember, if you meet a nice, kindhearted, well-grounded Christian, they’re the legit ones so make friends with them.

Thankfully these people mostly are online since it’s easier taking on another personality behind a screen but even if you meet them in person, they’re folks to look out for.

It’s a personal choice of coming out of the broom closet or not. No one else can or should force that choice because each person’s life is very different. Some people have very open minded families, others don’t. Some are comfortable letting others know about their religion, others rather keep it to themselves. Any way is fine so long as the person knows that this is the path they want to take in life. Picking a religion isn’t like choosing whether to go to the mall or not, it’s an extremely important decision that anyone should take immense thought into, regardless of religion. So think wisely and surf safely!

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Ask Black Witch

Filed under: Ask Black Witch, Divination, Relationships and Dating, Resources & Information — 2 Comments
November 25, 2011

Ok so I know that on everything I’ve it says not to do a spell to influence another person’s thoughts or actions but how do I get my ex back for good I’ve been in a lot of pain and I want to just get her back I know about the karma thing but I’ve never done anything with black magic before so I wanna learn how it works to thanks for the help

– Landon D.

Before I continue, let’s see if this can put a stopper to potential future questions such as this: if you check my “About Me/Contact Me” page, you’ll learn that I’m called Black Witch because I’m an African-American person who practices Witchcraft, not that I jinx or whatever. So anyone who want to ask me such a question, just keeeeep truckin’. Or just be yourself, that’s probably jinx enough for anyone who have to interact with you. And if it’s for dating, just buy a Bruno Mars album and shrink into the darkness.

Alright, Landon, you’ve got the basic very correct: you shouldn’t influence another person. That means no matter what. You’re scorned over your ex, join the club. The mundane version of getting back at her would be to harass her all the time, at home, at work, at play. That’s illegal. And a douchebag move.

Black magick works in that you’re adding bad energy (sounds new agey, yeah, but it is what it is) into a person’s life to deliberately cause harm. A mundane comparison: Cutting someone brakes (intent to harm) versus not telling them anything and their brakes break (karmic). Then there’s the karmic retribution on you. It is sometimes declared as threefold, some say tenfold, I just say whatever it is you’re going to do, it won’t be worth it for what you’ll get back.

If you’re in a lot of pain, you’re no different from anyone else suffering from a broken heart. Most pop songs wouldn’t be on the radio if the singer didn’t whine about how bad they’ve got the she-left-me blues. It’s a part of life and you can’t get pissed simply because things didn’t turn out the way you wanted them to. When in a relationship, you do run a risk of getting hurt emotionally. It’s not fair and certainly isn’t fun, I can tell you that first-hand, but acting out on your grudge isn’t smart. Here’s why:

– You seriously think this is going to be the only time?: Relationships can suck, given if you keep dating the wrong people (which, I’ve noticed, plenty do). What if you get hurt again? Are you going to jinx the new chick too? Then you aren’t going to learn anything because it’s not like you’re perfect either. You’ll probably grow misogynist (“God, women are such gold-digging cunts. They’re so shady and freakin’ tricky.”) because instead of learning from your mistakes and dating better picks, you’re just going to rub salt into your own wound thinking that you’re dealing fair retribution. Not easy but you’re going to have to deal and find someone better.

– For good?: If your ex is such a terrible person, she’s going to meet her match. Either in the form of a wife-beater, terrible friends, people seeing straight through her or the worst of them all, the male version of her. It burns not to do anything but it’s better than potentially growing obsessed over a bad relationship.

– Relationships aren’t perfect: They’re not. Dan Savage wouldn’t have a job otherwise and love spells would be pretty pointless. Here’s the thing, you’re not perfect – I’m sure if I asked the ex, she probably can list some of your faults just as well as you can list hers – and the girls you’re going to date aren’t perfect. Nobody is perfect. Perfect relationships don’t exist because there are no perfect people. There are people perfect for each other but that doesn’t mean the relationship itself or the people in them will be perfect. There are high times, low times and times you wonder why you’re dating the person that you’re with. That means break-ups and barking up the wrong tree occasionally. They suck, they’re embarrassing as all get out and they promise Kleenex will never go out of business. The only safe route is to either imagine you’re in a relationship with a cartoon character, stay out of relationships or to be more careful dating by getting to know the girl longer and/or stating (and knowing) your deal breakers.

You’re not going to like the advice but move on. Seriously, move on. Take some time to get over the relationship, perhaps a few months or more depending on how long you dated. I didn’t like the advice when I got it but it’s the most that you can actually do to help yourself. Being vengeful feels good but nothing poignant is going to come out of it and you probably still won’t learn a single thing. And I mean learning something useful, such as “I don’t like when the girl I’m dating does this because of that” and so on. That’s actually useful, not hexing someone for breaking your heart.

I’m back with more questions. XD
 
The first few involve dreams. I’ve noticed that I can foresee events in my dreams; if it’s a planned event the specifics are more clear. Thinking back this has definitely happened before, but I haven’t really taken notice until I got interested in magick and I also haven’t really remembered my dreams. However, it’s been happening more often once I got a necklace with my zodiac sign (Cancer) and a faux opal.
 
~Is it possible that the necklace has something to do with the increase? It’s just a simple necklace from Avon.
 
~I plan on getting a dream journal to write down my dreams before I forget, but is there anything that would help me remember my dreams more?
 
The next question is about pendulums: how exactly do they work and how would they be used?
 
The last question is actually a Lolita question: What is your stance on replicas? There’s a lot of debate on them thanks to Dream of Lolita and I’d like to see a lot of opinions on them.
 
Thanks again!

– Bertina

I don’t mind getting repeat readers asking me questions, I quite like it. Means I’m not messing up. So long the questions remain good, I’m happy.

Precognition, I think almost everyone experiences it. It does increase with magick use because of the fact that you’re opening up your intuition more. Your necklace can aid in that because it provides a visual representation to keep your intuition up. Think of how people have pictures or statuettes of Jesus with them, totally not needed in that Christ isn’t physically in the picture and is not the statuette itself but a visual reminder. The necklace works the same for its own purpose.

When I write down my dreams, I keep the lights off, eyes closed and scribble in my dream journal in (which is nearby, or my BOS, whichever I remember is closer). You forget, I believe, 90% of your dream in a few hours and a pretty big amount within the first 10 minutes. Writing the dream down right after I wake up works for me and I’ve heard it is the best method. Don’t worry about lines running into each other or misspelled words, just write it down and review it later in the day.

Pendulums, very pretty and can be pretty annoying when not used correctly. Pendulums have two uses: answer yes/no questions and to find stuff. When using it as a divinatory device (to answer yes/no questions) you work with the pendulum to either with or without a yes/no/maybe sheet to see how it responds to questions on its own or “program” it to respond to yes or no as you desire. Protip: You have to be verrrrry still or wind up swaying the pendulum so lay your arm down somewhere if you worry this will be a problem. I find pendulums can be problematic because some questions need more than a yes or a no and if it’s for a question you desire a particular answer for, you may sway the pendulum. I know I have – oh, and if you’re practicing psionics (i.e. psychokinesis) then skip out on this divination form, you will affect the result. It is more useful, in my experience, to find lost stuff. I would ask my pendulum (I have several, including one that I think hated me) to swing in the direction of my lost object, saaaay, my glasses. I tell it to go in a circle (or become still) once in the general area and the stronger it responds, the closer I am. Again, be steady. It takes a bit of meditation and work with the pendulum enable to reduce the chance of false positives. The pendulums work by connecting with the collective unconscious of the universe and refined via intent either for an answer or to find something. Or if it hates you, like one of mine did, it’ll just steer you directly into trouble or screw with the answers even if you were as still as stone.

My stance on replicas – for readers who are not aware, replicas are dresses in the Lolita fashion that are replicated designs or prints of popular and expensive dresses in the fashion – is that I think they are useful gap fillers within the fashion. Not everyone is after a name; some like a dress because it is pretty, not because it screams “I have brand”. Some simply cannot fit the small size range of Lolita dresses. For example, I would need a replica of the Carnival Cards dress by Angelic Pretty because A) the color I want it in is sold out and B) I couldn’t fit it even if I could buy it. Since Lolita dresses constrict themselves into such a narrow size range, I don’t look down on replicas and they make some dresses more affordable. Also, there’s the issue with a lot of brand dresses getting ruined from simply coming in contact with water, which the replicas may not do. I know I have only gotten one replica dress, a black Sugary Carnival dress from Dream of Lolita, that has this problem. I hate it because there are mistakes, the fabric is terrible and it faded fast through washing. But it cost almost 1/5th the price of the original dress, which cost about $600, can rocket up to $800 secondhand. A person just has to look around for reputable replica makers such as Oo Jia. I would say look hard at reviews before committing to buy because while a replica dress may be cheaper than the original, it is not cheap by any definition as a whole.

I am getting older by the day, and because of this fact, I am wondering if I will ever find true love where there is passion on both sides and ultimately have a baby or two?
 
I have been meeting too many men who are just not my type or I am not there’s. Whatever the case may be, I am extremely tired of looking. Can you shed some truthful light on me and let me know if love and a family is something that is meant for me to experience or not. Is there a spell to improve my situation? I need to know.
 
Thanks!

– Cali

The subject of true love is a tricky one. I’ve tried to do a true love spread but it became a can of worms over the course of two years for me so I don’t do them anymore. I certainly don’t suggest spellwork because it will be more trouble than it’s worth.

Now, do you see a loving and passionate relationship as little arguing, the guy is just knows your needs or can read your body language like a book, things like that? Or do you see a loving and passionate relationship as something that’s going to have back and forth along with the happy times, you’re going to get on his nerves sometimes, he’s going to get on your nerves sometimes, you both are interacting with each other as people and as friends, etc etc etc? If you see it as the former, you’ll always be unhappy. The latter? You’re off to a good start but still that doesn’t promise marriage and the baby carriage.

Let’s define “true love”: True love, in reference to a person, does not mean they will be perfect in every single way, let’s get that out the way. No one is perfect. Not you, not the President, not the person who collects your bills, not your best friend, no one on this earth is perfect. Everyone is imperfect, has flaws, quirks and issues of varying shades and ranges. There are people who are perfect for one another (for example: your best friend is perfect for you, even if she or he gets on your last nerve sometimes) and that’s what you should look for. Look for friendship, not relationship, from the start. A true love is just a deeply and romantically loved friend that helps you grow, you help them grow and each of you bring something wonderful into the relationship.

I understand the problem that you have, I get the same issue but maybe you should try this: Don’t look. I understand that it can be difficult but it’s advice I get constantly and I hear from a lot of happy couples – they weren’t looking when they found each other. I can’t tell you if you’re going to have the happy family and loving relationship that we all want and I don’t generally do spreads or suggest spells for Ask Black Witch questions. Besides, even if I did, what help would it do? It wouldn’t say, “hey, you’re going to meet him tomorrow” and it won’t provide enough details for you to fully be satisfied. What if you learn you would meet this guy thirty years from now? It would just make you go mad. Just meet guys as you would want to make friends with so you can get to know him, he can get to know you, etc etc etc. There’s no spell I could give you, short of treading on free will, that would make you happy. You just have to let it come to you. You’re not going to like it (I sure as hell don’t, I’d gun down cupid with a scud missile if I could) but you’re going to have to just live your life, continue to improve your life so you’ll be happy – which is attractive, mind you – and meeting people normally.

Instead of waiting, improve yourself for yourself. Become happy of who you are, your accomplishments and etc etc. In focusing on yourself, you won’t be so stone-fast into getting a boyfriend (and ultimately husband and father) toute de suite and that means more opportunities can open up. Anyone, guy or girl, can be super easily turned off by the aura of “Can we date? Plz?” because it comes off as subconscious desperation and can make them feel trapped and suffocated, hence cause for bolting. Can’t force someone to love you nor do you want to coerce them. People like individuality, regardless of gender – and I think you probably would prefer a guy that doesn’t want a woman cling-on dependent (which is extremely different from basic mutual dependency, which is what you – and he – should want because a relationship can’t sail far if there’s no balance)- and it’s great when someone wants you for you and everything that you are. Just remember to improve yourself where you yourself think improvement is needed, enhance yourself for yourself, be happy with yourself, get to know people as people and not potential dating subjects. If it gets to where you like a guy naturally, make sure you have a basic understanding in what you want in a guy. Not surface stuff like money and looks but something that you know you would love to spend the rest of your life with, your deal breakers, etc. It’s not easy doing all this and there’s no promise you’ll die with a ring on your finger and/or a kid to carry on your memory so just live for yourself. It’s really the only thing you can do.

Last month, I had answered an Ask Black Witch about if grimores existed and I responded pretty much with a “Not the olden day kinds”. That was a derp on my part but Nkyinkyin caught my mistake. Here is what she wrote on her blog:

I appreciate many of The Black Witch‘s posts–she fills an important niche in the lives of the young and new, and also puts up with a lot of crap that I freely admit to not having the patience to deal with. I was disappointed with her answer to one of the questions in last month’s Q&A session, though. Someone was asking about the old grimoires and essentially the answer given was that they no longer existed. If that’s the case, then how is it that I have a copy of The Picatrix (the Liber Viridis version) translated by John Michael Greer & Christopher Warnock lying right by my feet now? What about my copy of The Black Dragon and The Enchiridion of Pope Leo III translated and compiled into the The Crossed Keys by Michael Cecchetelli sitting by my right hand? This collection of 50 books on a CD via Twilit Grotto Esoteric Archive, including works by Abramelin, Agrippa, John Dee, and Trithemius? You can check them out for FREE. Hell, even a quick google puts you at the gates of the Internet Sacred Text Archive, where you can also browse any number of famous esoteric and occult works, including The Key of Solomon. Also free, but I’m really sure they’d appreciate donations and purchases of the site on DVD and CDROM right now, just to keep up with the costs of keeping such an immense effort online. Unlike the Grotto, The ISTA is a treasure, a resource that isn’t limited to esoteric texts–you could literally spend the rest of your life browsing that site.

For the “witchier” texts, there’s collections of those too, like the 2 volumes of cds offered by the highly-regarded House of Eleggua‘s Carolina Gonzalez: CD #1 and CD #2. And that’s me just listing what I’m aware of in strictly traditional old school stuff, I’m not even getting into all the physics and history and natural sciences texts out there that I find absolutely necessary if you’re going to practice in the here-and-now and not have a root-bound practice based on and limited by ignorance.

We live in an amazing age, a time wherein pretty much everything anyone can think of has been made accessible to us–things that those old timey (whimey) mages, witches, philosophers, and scholars would have killed to get their hands on. Some of it you’ll find brilliant. Some of you’ll find worthless. Some of it you’ll think of one way at one point and change your mind later. The esoteric stuff is not that hidden anymore; I’ve been able to look up a significant number of titles and personalities on Wikipedia, as they also have a historical context. A lot of the originals of the old works are now public domain, and the stuff that isn’t is not being held hostage by collectors for hundreds and thousands of dollars (but hey, you can get fancy bound versions and classes on how to use them for hundreds and thousands of dollars if you want to do that!). And that’s beside all the individual magician blogs–notes by people that are doing the Work and posting what they’ve discovered.

The tools are out there. What are you gonna do with ’em? Welcome to the new old frontier.

She’s actually right. I had forgotten that while some grimores were destroyed and lost, some were very well recovered. Total derp moment on me but good to know my readers are willing to disagree and correct my mistakes! :3

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Crazy Lady – Dealing with a Skeptic

Filed under: Coming out of the Broom Closet, Pagan Life — Leave a comment
November 11, 2011

I would like to start this column with a story. Why? ‘Cause I wanna and the story is an awesome lead-in.

When I was the president of the Pagan Student Union at my university, we had divination workshops. I and a couple other diviners in the club were teaching tarot and cartomancy* for beginners. We had a few people, none of them truly memorable except for one guy scared of touching a tarot card right after handling a cartomancy equivalent, a playing card.

But there was this one girl that a friend of mine brought. I’ma call her Patty, the friend that was brought. Oh geez, I could tell Patty was going to be a problem from her stern body language. She sat at the cartomancy table where I was teaching and she felt the sincere need to interject at every instance that she believed divination is a fraud. I remember trying to quell her and talk to the rest of the people but she was simply foaming at the mouth with a steady boil as she tried to quiz me about the history, background and validity of cartomancy. Good lord was she rampant in tuning out reason. I’m fairly used to dealing with skeptics of the moron kind (over-skeptics as I usually refer to them) so I explain she can borrow my cartomancy book as I instruct so she can read the history section and the bibliography. Newp, she wanted to know how, without aid of beakers and lab coats, can one see into the future because science said it can’t happen and gargle gargle foam foam.

To be honest, I was worried she was either going to give herself an aneurysm or her heart would give out. There’s less anger in the Middle East than what was on Patty’s face. Plenty of derp, to put it youthfully. She was not at all here to learn anything but clearly to disrupt, debate one-sidedly and foam. I probably could have told her her whole life story and everything she’s going to do for the next three months but she’d probably still call shenanigans and continue raging disproportionally for the situation at hand. Those people are awful annoying. Discussion is fine but going bonkers isn’t helpful because that doesn’t equal disagreement, it just equals going bonkers. I don’t mind helping out filling in the blanks for better discussion; I did offer Patty my book for her to read and fact-check. She can still be against it but at least she could understand the other side of the argument. Patty decided to bypass all that and just go nuts simply because it bothered her that much. Now, she didn’t have to come and she could have simply walked out, I wouldn’t have been at all bothered. I understand Patty was with one of my friends but even when I’m going to a place or an event I don’t like, I bail. Should I come with a friend, I just let them know that I’m not going home but I’ll be waiting somewhere else and they should call me when they are ready to go. I know this is my tactic because I employ it often when I go to an event that I won’t dig but my friend does. Even if that event is Bible Study – though I can usually get out of those.

To finish the story, Patty, after having a meltdown over people aren’t seeing it her way, she knocked it off long enough for the Student Events Board to have a chat with her over at the side. And I believe she left or kept quiet. Has Patty changed? Not sure but I still see her as uptight and mental. Her body language certainly haven’t changed.

Yes, skepticism is healthy. A good BS meter is nice, if not essential, when involving in metaphysics. Or anything else that require critical thought. To take anything at face value is asking to be hoodwinked. However, it’s not smart to act like Patty, when met with something they don’t agree with, all walls are up. Instead, pick your battles if you’re that passionate about it. Like I mentioned earlier, I will bail out on Bible Studies super fast. I don’t make up excuses often because there’s not always a need (the only exception is when offered by elderly women) but I don’t go because I know I’ll get into a debate quick.  I don’t debate at Bible Studies simply because that’s rude. The people studying aren’t hurting anyone and I don’t like debate, actually. Me and confrontation don’t go well. They’re minding their business, I’ll mind mine. It’s a different story if they bother me a la the lady from Mental Mentality but Bible Study? I rather walk around the church looking at the pretty architecture and art. Have I been trapped in Bible Studies? Yes. Dear God is it bothersome because there are just some things in the Bible I honestly don’t agree with. I try not to act like Patty because, while I  may understand the frustrating emotion of “Why don’t they get it?”, it can come off as how I described: metaphorically foaming at the mouth. It helps no one and is really embarrassing. To avoid foaming at the mouth for me, I try not to get roped into Bible Studies because they won’t change my mind and I won’t change theirs. And there’s no reason to.

So, in dealing with an over-skeptic, here are some rules of engagement that I notice works:

Pick your battles wisely: Sometimes stern skeptics are just closed-minded people who reject change. Not all, but some. They’re quite close to being an over skeptic but not nearly as rude when introduced to something they disagree with. Also, sometimes people have to learn and live a little before modifying or creating better critical reasoning for their skepticism. (Remember this if you argue against a teen or someone who is super sheltered.) Also some battles don’t need to be fought because there isn’t a battle there. Some people simply don’t need the argument.

Be fair: Don’t go off the deep end. No insults and if they are insulting, then let them know. If they’re going to that level unprovoked, they’re obviously not going to respect you any time soon. Call them out on their wackness and leave it at that.

Keep to facts: Don’t incite unfairly. For example, I’ve used picking apart the Bible as a useful tactic but I won’t sit there and come right off the bat with a (if Christian) “You believe in a zombie carpenter that even science say doesn’t exist!” or (if Atheist) “Science is your Jesus!” Knowledge by itself can be kryptonite for stupidity and it also garners respect from onlookers.

They’re Yelling? Don’t Match It: Over-Skeptics who are obstinate and tend to yell so you don’t. Let the screamer look outrageous and stupid. Coupled with what they’re probably going to say, it won’t be hard to depict them as the fool.

Dealing with those who are super skeptical is annoying, that’s fact. You feel like you have to prove all and everything just to shut them up. It’s not easy especially since major skeptics of the metaphysics are just so hard on to coin you’re a fraud and even crazy. A healthy skeptic is willing to keep an open mind, willing to learn something new – even if they don’t agree with it, they’ve learned a new perspective. A poor skeptic has a mind like the Iron Curtain: solid in their opinions, beliefs and are hard to help understand different points of view. A terrible skeptic is possibly a solid moron, simply refuses to see it any other way and any proof, no matter how good, is simply a trick. If the person is a terrible skeptic, then just don’t bother. They just want to flail and scream and foam at the mouth even at the slightest provocation.

Trust me, I know.

Next Week: The Arts!

Who’s featured:
– Occupy The Hood
– Bea Gaddy Thanksgiving Drive
– Anxiety Cat

* Cartomancy = playing card divination

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How Romantic

Filed under: AfroPunk/The Establishment, Pagan Life — 2 Comments
November 4, 2011

The Establishment (Afro-Punk) Version

I talk about a lot of things here on Black Witch, and believe you and me I have more up my sleeve, but ever notice I’m not very flowery in my talking? As in, I don’t talk about the positive energies that are in rivers and how I would love to wash my clothes in said river because it connects me to mother earth and how I wish I could fetch wood from a forest to heat my simple home out in the empty but lush wilderness?

No doubt these are beautiful notions that harken back to a “simpler” time but it’s an over-romanticized notion. To romanticize something means to see a perspective with rose colored glasses on, even to the point of glorifying it. Think about modern hip hop and how most of its listeners are White, Suburban and dream of being the gangstas they hear so much vomiting from their speakers but would never fully trust a Black person near their iPod nor would dare live in the hood lest they find a very real reason to picket and shout “We are the 99%”.

The depiction I very commonly hear is that living in nature is simple and that mother earth would always provide and life would be happy. Wroooooong. It was not easy living among nature pre-modern technology. The days were long, winters were brutal and there’s a reason tech exists today from refrigerators to cell phones. Living with nature was not at all fancy and cute, where all you have to do is hunt, farm and amass. Try “not get eaten, killed, suffer a bad crop and struggle”. Walking miles to access water, having to hunt while not become the hunted, make sure nothing is poisonous and God/dess help you if the crops catch a terrible virus or infection. Make your own clothes, churn your own butter (given that you have cows to milk (which if you live in the woods, you don’t)), make your own food from scratch, build your own house from the actual trees around you, etc etc etc. Shucks, the game Oregon Trail is more accurate than the average Pagan writer who spouts that getting back to nature is as easy as sitting on a rock listening to the wind while waiting for the cauliflowers to come in.  

The whole life-would-be-better-living-among-the-wolves-and-trees isn’t for everyone. The average person (especially the average Pagan) would not have the skills to survive in the woods because those skills aren’t instinctual, they’re taught from centuries of trial and error (otherwise known as “natural selection”) and Google can’t bail you out of everything. Yes, life was simpler back then because of the lack of cell phones, laptops, Mp3 players and 9-5 jobs buuuuuut harder than today because of the lack of cell phones, laptops, Mp3 players and 9-5 jobs. There was a different set of skills and expectations living among nature than it is today. “Different” doesn’t mean “easier”, just “different”. And it doesn’t differ regardless if Pagan A wants to live in the woods and Pagan B wants to manage a farm. Again, it isn’t for everyone and the knowledge isn’t instinctual but learned.

While some people could totally and realistically adapt to such environments, it isn’t because they judge on how well they camp. Some Pagans I have met said that they could fare well in the lush forests of North America because they know how to camp and living out in the wilderness is simply one big camping excursion. Not really. Y’see, when you camp, I bet that the supplies taken are meant to last the duration of the trip. Stuff like food, cooking instruments, water, etc etc. And depending on where you are, there may be an outhouse already constructed for use nearby. Not the same as living by your own wits and for those who have camped, there are notations of realistic difficulties, which are totally acceptable.

What usually set off my alarm whenever the discussion of being close with the earth comes up is usually the implication that once out in nature, there will be nothing but them and the universe, that they will have plenty of time to ruminate and absorb the vast wilderness of nature or always and forever be in sync with nature and all of its beautiful, glorious ways. That’s nauseatingly cute but I do doubt that everyone out in the wilderness saw their living in such a manner, as 24/7 nature worship than a means to survive. While there was incredible reverence for the divine members of nature and the universe, there was still the undertone of “Pleeeeeeez don’t destroy my crops/house/family/life.”

Now, I’m sure some reader is going to be moody about the whole column, probably say that nature is beautiful and I simply don’t recognize it and things like that. That when they went to go be among nature, they never felt a sense of serenity quite like it before. I’m not going to discredit them, their feelings are legit but I’m not going to sit there and believe that living in nature is as easy as some would like to believe. It isn’t easy and as I said before, most Pagans couldn’t hack it. Having a romanticized perception of the task is just as dangerous as simply wandering into the woods one day and trying to start your new life from there – actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if the two actions were related. To see the arduous task as if it was built into your DNA could get someone killed.

Instead of dreaming that living among the bears, wolves and poisonous berries is ideal or wanting to wash your clothes in the river enable to connect with the positive energy in such river – start a little garden, learn botany, get into worthwhile environmental activism (keyword: worthwhile) and go camping from time to time. Unless you can actually survive in the woods and know how to keep that going, just invite nature into your life and learn that not everything is all about the energy. Some things are just about living.

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