Tag Archive: fluffy bunny

Fluffy Bunnies

‘Fore we start, I would like to note there is an important message at the bottom of post about my current situation, please read.

Ah, summer’s in the air. You know how I know? Teh fluffy bunnies.

Fluffy bunnies are newbs who really don’t know what they’re doing and tend to be quite vocal pretending that they do. They’re generally young – about high school age, but occasionally early college as well – extremely gullible and easily swept up into all sorts of different fancies. They’re vampires, werewolves, witches and anything else you’ll find on a Happy Halloween placard. These kids mean well but dear Gods do they not really know what they’re doing. Twilight is their bible, Harry Potter is their rule book an anything that is campy or overly fantastical they’ll buy into without a second thought. The Craft, they see as a Slice-of-Life type of movie of what their lives will appear like, full of drama and action.

A fluffy bunny is very easy to spot. They tend to spout nonsense like crazy and do most of their research on Wikipedia but are somehow adverse to reading genuine books. And they seem to be totally absent of discerning fact from fiction. While the wonderful world of the occult is full of mysteries and surprises, it isn’t exactly perfectly pictured through the stories of fantasy. They are also easily excited by anyone who talks about the occult and will chatter endlessly about it in hushed (or loud) tones as if you and they are the only ones who know about it or accept it. They’re not very knowledgeable in metaphysics, any sciences, history and barely magick itself. Plus they’re very imaginative with the things they can(‘t) do. Things like conjure amazing (and difficult to summon) deities, high pulsing psiballs, make the weather change, things that generally take a lot of practice and skill, both of which the fluffy bunny lacks.

Although I mentioned that a fluffy bunny is generally young, it is more of a state of mind because I’ve ran into adults far older than me who spout the same nonsense merely because they’re new and decided to believe all the nonsense and conspiracy theories before the actual facts. Not every new occult practitioner starts out as a fluffy bunny because with fluffy bunnies, there is usually a strong air of obnoxiousness and fluffy bunnies tend to be dabblers, not really wanting to genuinely practice. Some do mellow out and become some type of occultist practitioner but generally they don’t. That’s what makes a fluffy bunny so floofy: they’re not really serious about practicing in a sincere way, they just want to do something that they think will get them cool points somehow. It’s unfair to those who really do want to start out and find a teacher but very few will take them because fluffy bunnies got there first or that new practitioners aren’t taken seriously because again, everyone assumes they’re going to be derpy, hyperactive or over reactive odd things that will move on to something else in about a few months.

Being a fluffy bunny, they’re really vocal about silly things that doesn’t very much matter in the greater scheme of things as a Pagan or an occultist. They’re just doing it as a way to feel like they belong because they don’t have years of practice (and probably don’t want to achieve any) under their belt. They may obsess about, say, how lightly Halloween is taken or the fact that a lot of Halloween depictions of a witch is green faced, full of warts, with a long and crooked nose, terrible teeth, looks like a hag and in shabby clothes…and how all of that offends them greatly. These are surface issues, issues that can be bothersome if you put too much thinking into it but they’re not really issues like religious discrimination is an issue. A fluffy bunny wants so much to be part of a circle (yet different), they latch onto the non-issues but that’s it. They just want to live in their own little world where they are the cool kid because they can make rain come down in an instant.

Again, however, I stress that a lot of fluffy bunnies are dabblers. They’re not interested in taking on occultism as a lifestyle or Paganism as a religion, they just saw Vampire Diaries or Supernatural and thought “I want that to be me.” You’ll notice a lot of fluffy bunnies have a very cursory knowledge of magick that tends to closely resemble what media depicts. Media is a little better doing its homework when it comes to witches, magicians and other creatures but they’re still the media, not good at depicting anything it doesn’t consider the norm. Being dabblers, it’s clear they are quite adverse to research because that takes tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime and their favorite television characters don’t seem to spend forever and ever in libraries reading. It’s like they instantly know the difference between a Banshee and a Harpy. Dabblers don’t want to do any work, they just wanna get to the fun stuff and toute de suite. Remember, the occult is filled with reading and studying and getting headaches trying to interpret something written in Latin or 15th century French. That part is not emphasized in a lot of different shows about the supernatural. Why? Because show producers rightfully believe that watching someone read, read, read and merely max out their library card doesn’t make for a compelling show. Problem is is that you can’t get to the fun stuff without doing all the grunt work. And this is a fact a lot of fluffy bunnies miss. Nothing happens instantly in magick without putting any work into it.

Another issue with fluffy bunnies is that, despite how vocal they are, they really don’t follow the rules. I have met countless Wiccan fluffy bunnies who would endlessly cut themselves and say “It’s how I cope with life”, despite Wicca having a well known “An’ it harm none” rule in their faith. “None” means “everyone, including themselves.” They’re not trying to cease cutting or going to treat it as a problem now that they follow a new faith, nope, they’re pretty much going to take on a different label but do the same thing. There, it becomes clear that they’re just calling themselves Wiccan or Pagan because it can potentially make people moody for all the wrong reasons or just make them appear like they’re standing out somehow.

Nothing is wrong with being new, everyone started somewhere, but here’s how not to act like a fluffy bunny:

  • Don’t be hyper/treat it like it is some secret thing: Oh sure, it’s exciting and new now but I ensure you, it’s not nearly as much of a big deal as you think. Be happy but don’t annoy anyone
  • Know your knowledge: You’re new, so read. That’s all you can do now, read and ask questions. You’re a newbie, do not present yourself as a beacon of information. You’re not one and not going to be one for at least a couple years. And make sure the questions you ask are relevant, informative questions. Skip all the “Can you teach me how to levitate?” questions and save them for later. Way later.
  • If you’re dabbling, stop: I have a whole post in the works dedicated to why dabbling is a bad idea. It is. Just develop a likeable personality and people will like you, no need for gimmicks. If you’re still invisible, just do whatever makes you happy and don’t vie for the attention of others because you’ll probably A) never get it or B) won’t like what you have to do to keep it.

And that’s all for this week of Black Witch.

As a lot of you have probably seen, I have gotten into quite a sticky situation. You can read about it here on “A Plea for Help”. I also made a video detailing what has been going on, which can be viewed here on Ustream (since Ustream embedding can be fickle).

If you look over to the right of your screen, you’ll see where you can donate, buy a natal chart reading or even proofreading services (something I did while in college, might as well bring it up to the fold). As you read over there, I’ll be collecting donations until May 31st or all $715 is collected, whichever comes first. This is important because if I lose my home, Black Witch will cease to exist. So far 16% has been collected and I thank all the donors who have already come forth.

Not Gonna Work

So I was on the Black Witch tumblr, tumblin’ like always and look at what I found on my dashboard:

Oh. My. Gods. No. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

I don’t know what site this is – I shall hereby declare thee webpage Spellz-R’n-Us, and it is done – but man, I really hope no one took that seriously. I mean, really? Okay, let’s go over what’s wrong with the whole picture, starting with the glaringly obvious.

– It’s titled “Baby Spell”. Not fertility spell or anything potentially legit sounding but “Baby spell”.

– It’s either “to make a baby or find love”, a major red flag because those aren’t very similar. At all.

– ‘Dat ad. It does not help the corniness and shadiness of it all.

– What you will need for this spell: Rose peddles – I mean, petals. That’s it. Yes there is such thing as hand magick, meaning no materials used but your own mind and ability, and I am usually a fan of minimalism but this spell is a dud from the start

– The casting instructions: First of all, handclap for the American public education system and American politics snipping it up, what stunning prose we all have witnessed. It was a twist between a rejected Justin Bieber song and adolescent stupidity/horniness in pure form.

This whole spell is a total joke but the wording, oh dear gods. I am a big fan of free verse poetry but this person simply has zero idea how lines work but then again it could be cut into by the Spell Index, I wouldn’t know and perhaps no one will through this person’s aversion to punctuation. Let us put special attention on the spelling and wording, bearing in mind that this is a spell for either to make a baby or be given love (something the writer of the spell has zero concept of). Now, if someone made a slipsies somewhere by forgetting a comma or something like that, I would not be that harsh because even this blog probably has some typos lurking on here but the writing is super bad. Let us focus on the word “pragnetse”.


The word looks like it should rhyme with “magnet”. And the snippet it is in, “…baby give me pragnetse your so hot…”, oh my gods, the person who wrote it must be 12, there is no care towards fertility nor the desire of deep love which transcends the physical. This is not love, the person would have been more on point if she or he wrote “Oh man, let’s bone. Babezzzzzz.” And you can’t give someone a pragnetse or pregnant. While it is the creation of the gift of life, you still can’t give someone pregnants like, “Here you go, nine months of hormonal roller coasters and limited range of movement to finish with a pain that could kill a man and a new life with a wailing, shrill thing that hopefully won’t grow up to be a serial killer or genocidal maniac.” No. This isn’t even internet talk the person wrote, it’s incoherent and conflicting babble. (What if the person just wants love? Do they take that part out now?)

And this, “…baby baby come to me in reall life and my dreams” – No. Absolutely zero concept on love, I’m not letting up on this point. If you love someone (and all is healthy between you two), they shouldn’t consume your waking and dreaming life. This person has clearly never been in love or experienced a genuine relationship. This is, like, the 50 Shades of Grey of spells: innaccurate beyond belief, jaw dropping for those who are more informed and the question begs, “Who greenlighted this stuff?”

Speaking of the action part, “then throw the rose peddles in the air and the spellis done”, lol-worthy. Dude, “peddles” and “spellis”, I am dyin’ over here. Oh man, does this person really think this spell will work with no raising energy and incoherency all around? There is no structure, you’d have to do more than chuck some roses petals in the air and that’s that, especially to inspire something as deep as fertility or love. Way more.

Man, this spell – and site – is all sorts of terrible. And oh look, apparently there’s spells for body swaping so all the pathethic guys asking me this can perhaps go over there. Hopefully no one, animal or human, dies as a result of this and if the spell is as bad as this one it won’t work.

All joking out my system (not really), here’s the thing: spells like the one I just dissected above would never work, a forever dud. Believe it or not but spells – good spells, well constructed spells – do have a method to their madness. Regardless whether the spell requires a lot of materials, some materials or none at all, there is a form and function to them all. And this is for any type of spells, simple to complicated.

Spells need well defined purpose. The spell above wasn’t, it was supposed to be used for two extremely different things. For a spell to work, it needs a solid purpose, simple as that. If there’s no purpose, then there’s no point. The purpose could be as little as just wanting to have a good day after a long streak of strife and trouble, it doesn’t matter as long as it is well defined. Even multi-purpose spells (which is what that spell tried to be and failed miserably at) are closely related and pretty general in function, not asking for something in particular.

Like attracts like in spells, the person who wrote the spell above apparently had the faintest of faint ideas of that but still missed the mark about a mile wide. In case a couple readers couldn’t figure, love and fertility aren’t easy spells and would need materials of some sort or at least a lot of skill to go material-less. And the actions you perform also have to be more than what the pseudo-spell above wrote. There has to be some meaning in what you do, what would chucking petals in the air have anything to do with having kids or finding (fake) love? If you want something palpable to occur, there would have to be more than just that. Now, if this person had better wording and said to have the rose petals released on a gusty day, I’d be a little more lenient because the symbolism is carrying – if you just want the love part, the whole motion is pretty useless for the baby part. There just has to be a defined point in what is being done.

It would also be smart to mention that without energy movement, you pretty much wasted your time and money. There is no movement of energy here, just say some poorly written words and hurl some rose petals. There’s no pulling of energy, no raising of energy, nothing. Just empty movements.

Frankly, this spell is a fantastic picture of what a skeevy looking spell looks like and why you shouldn’t use spells you found on the internet.

That’s all for Black Witch, sorry this post was super late! Please know also that this is the third year of Samhain Pickers! Samhain Pickers is the yearly divination sweepstakes that I do. Here’s how to enter:

Send an email to thisblackwitch@hotmail.com with “Samhain Pickers” in the subject line and your:

  • Name
  • Email (to contact the winner)
  • Form of divination done (Cartomancy, Tarot, natal chart, dream interpretation)

And winners will be selected on Oct. 26 so get crackin and submit! Also there will be a BW Ustream chat (I am learning to get better at those) on Samhain at 4:30 PM EST. Be there!

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