The Establishment (Afro-Punk) Version

As a diviner, I love getting a plethora of questions – but not always. Sometimes I rather be much left alone instead of sought out for advice or getting a constant question and/or from a constant person which makes me wanna pack up and go home.

The question that I get waaaaaaaaaay too constantly as a diviner? Love or death but love has got to take the cake along with the pastry shop it sits in and the bakery it came from. Too many love questions, far too annoying. Look, I understand everyone wants to be loved but to constantly hear over and over, “When will I get a new boy/girlfriend”, “Should I date this guy/girl?” etc etc etc, it can be pesky. Why? Because the person will forever ask since they feel like they have a back-up system, namely the diviner they decided to latch on to give them the ethereal 411 on whether the person they’re dating or whether their health is up and running well (pertaining to the slew of death questions I get).

The problem with asking too much is just that, you’re asking way too much the same question or a multitude of questions enough that I would question if you’re capable of handling life without a helmet and a GPS sewn into your undergarments. It’s one thing when the person asking for a reading is friends with the diviner because there’s a background already established and the readings are just another element or resource in the friendship. The diviner is likely not to mind too much because as a friend, they want to see that readee succeed, be happy or do well for themselves. The readings are just another form of checking up on the readee/friend and making sure they’re making the right choices and foreseeing the bad ones. That’s a different take than some person who is contacting the diviner over and over because the diviner is, well, a diviner. There is no background and frankly, the diviner could be going through something serious in their own life but the readee would expect the diviner to put all that aside and get to work.

Media generally likes to tout diviners as mystical, magical creatures that are much like non player characters (NPCs) in video games and movies – they’re just sitting around doing nothing until that person who is in desperate need of having their palm read to make sure the girl they’re dating is the one they should or will marry bursts forth, foaming at the mouth in anxiety. Too bad that, according to my phone, email, work documents and other pretty realistic things, that’s not the case. The average diviner is not going to be waiting around for someone to run in like they’re on fire wanting a tarot reading just like the average diviner is not some creepy-looking Gypsy with a floofy turban and a crystal ball that’s ready to drain your pockets. Shucks, even diviners who are Gypsy aren’t creepy-looking Gypsies with floofy turbans and crystal balls ready to drain pockets. It’s stupid to say, “We’re people, too” but one would be stunningly surprised that it’s very commonly forgotten considering how many times I’ve had my phone blown up by people too paranoid (I like to call them “metaphysical hypochondriacs”) to live life on its own since they met me or anyone else who was remotely decent at offering advice towards the human condition.

When people ask way too much, it’s usually for things that can be solved with some common sense or a stern talking to. When it’s questions about love, I usually don’t have to do a reading, I just have to ask, sit, listen and respond because often time people play up problems far bigger in their minds than they actually are. It’s not a reading they need, just someone to sit there and listen/respond to their problems. However, it’s sadly not a soundboard these people want, oh noooo. Not “magical” enough, too normal. It’s got to be with something “unusual” such as playing cards or interpreting someone’s dream or handwriting. Something that may involve me wasting more time and effort than I actually have to all because someone is interested in seeing what they perceive as an interesting trick. This means I could tell them all the wicked nonsense I could drum up in my brain and so long I’m standing behind a tarot spread, that person just may believe me. It won’t matter if I’m right, wrong or just plain crappy at reading the future, these people will keep coming back because of the visual appeal.

And that can make any diviner moody.

Look, we diviners are good at telling the future because we worked pretty hard at it, believe it or not. Buuuuuuut we’re not fortune cookies and not fortune telling machines because life would be pretty boring to be someone else’s sidekick to their own super droll life. I try to make sure that I only have to do one reading a person because if you have to come back, that’s a problem. It’s one thing if a person I’ve read for comes back months later for a follow up because time has passed and variables may or may not have changed which could change the trajectory for the potential future but a person who consistently calls me because they want a reading a month later, a week later, a day later, an hour later – that’s real annoying. Like I said, it’s one thing if they’re a friend (especially since I’ve done this to my diviner friends in low times) but it’s another story altogether when it’s some person that I don’t really know that wants a reading. And another. And another. And another…

When it comes to subjects such as love and death, the future can change tons sometimes. And asking a diviner fifteen million times when “the one” is going to come by because the last reading wasn’t so positive doesn’t help nary a single iota. Yes, we know it’s a big deal, very important. Yes, it feel like no one is ever going to come in your life and hey, you might be right because not everyone falls in love. Yes, men/women can be weird/fickle/crazy/wack/[insert negative gender stereotypes and roles here], despite the glaring fact that the most common denominator of all these bad relationship is the person asking for the reading. But they have got to remember: divination is simply another way to give advice. It serves as a mirror of what’s going on, has gone on and is going to happen (with strong potential). The change lies within the person, not their ability in pestering someone to give constant and repetitive advice and that change takes time.

Yup, time. That little abstract concept that nobody who is waiting for something or somebody likes. Instead of being stagnant and nagging your local diviner with the same question over and over and over and over, create some change. Advice was given already and it’s not going to change because nothing incremental has happened. That means living life for itself and stop asking a billion questions on every minute detail, it doesn’t prevent mistakes, wack coincidences, freak occurrences and other things that are out of one’s control.

In short: once you get a reading, stop asking and start living. Unless you are friends with the diviner, then just gauge it out with them. And if you want love, adopt a pet. (And as an alternative, try the shelter pet project)

And now that it’s October comes the second annual Samhain Pickers Divination Giveaway! What do you get? A divination reading from me, Black Witch! Last year’s went ever so well, let do it again! All you have to do is submit an email with “Samhain Pickers” in the subject line and include in the email:

– Name
– Email address
– Type of divination desired (Choose from: Tarot, Cartomancy (playing card), natal chart, dream interpretation)

Your email is your entry form and you can only submit once. How the picking is done: I list the emails/entries as they come in so if you’re the first submission, you’re entry #1, if you’re the thirteenth submission, you’re entry #13. I use a random number generator (via to pick three winners on Samhain/Halloween. Acceptance for entries start now so submit! All readings are confidential.

Also there will be my second annual Black Witch Samhain Ustream chat which may be done via the Afro-Punk or Black Witch Ustream, also going to be on Halloween so be there! Times will be announced next week!