So, here is Ask Black Witch where you ask me questions and I answer ‘em. Good questions are appreciated, bad questions are eviscerated.

Hello, I am not Wicca or Pagan but I seem to have an ex who is . . . . he has gotten obsessive and I have it on good word that he is “scrying” for me and a friend. im not sure what all that in tells but im a little worried so I have two questions for you if you are willing to answer A- what all is this “scrying” I cant seem to find out much on it and B how do I stop it Thank you for your time and consideration

– Shayla

Oy, this sounds pretty bad but not too incredibly.

A) Scrying is a form of divination that is great for finding things, location and people. Think of it as ye olde school geotagging. It also can be used to ask yes/no/maybe questions. Given it takes a lot of skill to be really good at scrying to the point you can best a GPS tracker, you may be ok.

B) How do you stop it would possibly be a binding spell since this seems to be irritating you and rightfully so. You mentioned that you’re not Pagan or Wiccan, however so you can use binding prayers. Not sure what religion you are but if you’re Abrahamic (Christian, Muslim or Jewish), after thinking about it, I would recommend you do some research to find some prayers to provide protection and to bind his obsession inactive.

Do you know of any Witches/Pagans who may need an apprentice?

– Hattie

Nope, ‘fraid not. That’s not something common to ask – unless you’re in a coven, part of certain veins of Paganism/Magick or are paired up with someone to learn a magick trade like herbalism and even then, they keep their selections close to those they know personally instead of shout it out to the world. If you want to learn magick, you don’t necessarily need a teacher to guide you. There are plenty of resources, check out the Resources category.

Hey there, hope your day/night is well. I have a question for ya. How do you feel about astrology?

– S. Dreams

I consider myself an amateur astrologer but I feel that no one should let it run their lives. It is useful but the weight people on it (actually, they put weight on pop astrology) is ridiculous because the average person is not that informed about astrology. And I really don’t like Pop astrology because it is so shallow, stupid, based on erroneous ideas and dumbed down beyond belief. It’s like pop psychology and pop medicine, not useful at all and harms more than it helps. I rather a person actually study this stuff instead of ramble mindlessly about how poorly Cancers and Arieans get along.

Well I fell odd, but I have had this same dream about 15 times I am at this pretty ladies house, on a date when she tell me I can not leave, and that she is a witch, then she smiles at me waves her hand and then I start to shrink, very small she picks me up in her hand , she then sizes me up with a ruler ahh one inch tall you are the perfect size! Odd , I admit fun, am I going to be shrunk down to a tiny man

– Mikey

As much as I like to present myself as fairly progressive and sex positive, I do not like being sent fetish questions like these. At all. Ever. And trust, you don’t score extra points to mention a witch, you actually lose them until you hit the negative. I am not Dan Savage, who probably would have tossed this in file 13 the second he opened it. Go to Dan Savage for sex and fetish questions and please write them better than this.

So, because I was blown away by this and the absolute nerve this dude had to send me this – the only thing that is one inch tall is just the measurement of his IQ or else he would have never sent this – I looked him up and well, look at what I found: turns out he’s been a nuisance for the magick community for years. The dude is in his mid 20s and been asking random magickal practitioners to be shrunk down since he was roughly 21. He asked on Wicca Space, two accounts actually, he has his Meetup where he’s claims he want to learn about the craft but c’mon, seriously? You’re gonna name yourself “Shrinking Mikey” and expect anyone to take you seriously? I don’t know how the St. Paul, MN witches are (which is where this dude is from) but I take it they wouldn’t be nice about it. Pretty disgusted actually because, hello, it’s a fetish and the average person does not like being asked about assisting in a fetish. It is Wicca Space and Meetup, not FetLife.

However, I saw this really funny response to this dude’s antics on Magicka School – where he has posted multiple times back in 2010 asking for the same thing over a span of days – by a poster named Miri:

“You know. That’s a really, really hard spell to accomplish properly. It is intensly time consuming and very complex. It really shouldn’t be attemped by anyone who is unable to trace their lineage back to Merlin, or at least Morgana. But, since you are in such desperate need, I shall share this with you.

First, you must purchase a purebred chocolate Labrador puppy. Must be purebred, and also, it must be an albino. You need to train this puppy so that it sits, no matter what the commotion, as if it stands or moves during the casting of the spell, you will be unsuccessful. When the puppy is 1 year, three months and 14.5 days old, you can cast the spell. No other timeframe will work.

Location – The place you choose to cast this spell must be VERY public, there must be a crowd surrounding you to ensure effectiveness.

Items needed – Powder, made from crushed rosehips or prickly pear. Honey. Albino chocolate labrador.

At the appointed time, smear your hair with honey. As honey is sweet and we all know that tiny things are sweet. Apply the powder to your arms, legs and torso, avoid any sensitive areas as the results could be, ummmn, unappreciated. Sit down, nose to nose with the Albino chocolate labrador. Raise your arms, elbows bent, hands in the outward facing duck position. Recite the all powerful chant 32 times ….


Once recited, stand and do the sacred dance of power. Arms still raised in the outward facing duck position, hop from leg to leg circling the Albino chocolate labrador. Scream the powerful incantation of WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! By this time, the powder applied will no doubt help in perfection of this dance.

You will know if this spell has worked by the number of points and stares received by the onlookers around you. Even if you are not magically one inch tall …. you will feel an overwhelming desire to be one inch tall.

I take absolutely no responsibility for any embarrassment, itching, skin welts or feelings of intense shame felt by the performance of this ritual. Perform at your own risk with no guarantee of success, though there is a small likelyhood of arrest for public nuisance.”

That response was golden and very humorous. And I’m leaving this up here in case you bother other Witches and Pagans about this. Dude, don’t shrink, just disappear.