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I Know You Love Me, But I’m Still Gone

Filed under: Relationships and Dating, Spells & Potions — Leave a comment
November 16, 2013

Let’s talk relationships. Well, first, let’s briefly mention how I won’t be at Pantheacon after all and the details are at the bottom of the post. Now, let’s talk relationships. Mainly ones that have flat lined and there’s no chance of revival. At all. Ever. Not even if the survival of humanity depended on it.

See, being a Witch, this means I get all sorts of people in my inbox. This also includes the “I Want Cha Back” crowd. These folks, you might as well play the iconic Jackson 5 song, they nearly recite the lyrics word for word without knowing it. These folks tend to contact me in hopes that somehow, despite the fact I have said several times on my site I disagree with manipulative love spells and don’t do Pay for Pray, that I’ll do it for them to bring back that just-recently-reconsidered-special someone in their life. And usually it’s supposed to be done without the recently departed significant other’s knowledge. And usually it involves the fact that the ex is the one who broke things off (and with good reason).

Yeah, no.

When it comes to magick, I always tell people to imagine the mundane version of the magick to get an idea of what they’re doing. For this, it’s no different than stalking and harassing your ex and yelling “I’M STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU!” at them as they walk down the street. Very rapidly. Away from you. Far. Away.

Here’s the deal, people: you can’t make people fall in love with you. (Well, you can but they’re not really going to be in love with you. I’ll get to that in a sec.) Love is a natural – and sometimes, a pretty frustrating – process, you can’t really force it. If it were that easy, Ok Cupid and other craptacular sites would never exist … or, at least, not to the extent it does today. If you screw up in a relationship and the other person breaks it off because of that reason or if that other person thinks it would be better to be single for a while, that’s up to them. Not you. It hurts to go through a break up but you can’t force someone’s hand. That’s not natural. And it’s controlling, which is not love. That’s abuse.

Now, note I said that you can make someone fall in love with you but they’re not going to be in love with you. It’s kinda like the mundane world version of blackmailing, harassing and guilt tripping a guy or girl to love you. They may be showing the displays of what is outwardly considered affection but it’s not coming from a place of affection but more of a place of “Will this person stop bothering me?/I don’t feel like I have a choice.” They don’t really love you, they’re just faking it until they see the first opening to dash out into the wilderness like a spooked rabbit.  It’s not right to just control someone’s heart and go, “Newp. You love me now. I may be a screw up and will mess up to the point you’re fully justified to break things off or maybe you need some time to yourself but newp, not letting you go because it hurts me too much.” That’s pretty selfish. Which also isn’t love. Affectionate love isn’t that self-serving and never should be.

Break ups happen for a multitude of reasons. It seems as of recent I’ve been getting the “I messed up/the former bf/gf thinks I messed up but I totally don’t get it” letters. They’re not what I like to see because, welp, I’m gonna probably side with the person who left you because you didn’t get it together as appropriate for the relationship. And I mean when there’s an actual problem in the relationship, such as you being a poor communicator, relying on tired gender tropes and trying to shove your now-ex into said trope boxes, and/or just having too many issues and not dedicating enough time to unpack them in a healthy way. It’s important for people to know that when they’re in a relationship, they’re taking on the role of the significant other, not the replacement-parent/authority figure.

For the former, the “I messed up”, these folks are aware they screwed up – too bad they figured it out faaaaaaar too late. These folks have got to know that there is such thing as the Point of No Return and said point has such a name for a reason. If the now-ex person was a good or even average communicator, chances are they already said their piece and made it known that there was some problematic behavior they weren’t gelling with. Life isn’t like tv, it’s not always that the now-former significant other just up and leave without letting you know beforehand. It’s nice that the person coming to me finally came to their senses about their behavior but guess what? If you have to come to a witch to repair things, it means you still blew it big time, and I mean nuclear. It implies that the ex doesn’t want anything to do with you, doesn’t care whether or not you learned your lesson, and doesn’t want to come back to you. And who am I to force them? I wouldn’t want it done to me, why would I want to do it to others so they can be dragged back into a relationship that made them so unhappy? And this is running on the assumption that the person coming to me not only knows about how bad their flaws were but actually changed them and plan to keep it that way. Usually folks slide far too easily back into their old ways when they feel like there’s nothing to lose from doing it if that desire to change isn’t intrinsic (meaning: coming from the inside). If you messed up, learn how to remedy that and move on.

For the latter “I have no idea how I screwed up but the bf/gf still left me because they think I’m [insert what could actually be the problem], I want them back”, that person is just myopic. Sometimes erratic breakups happen but these folks tend to have a very evident problematic trait that they have no plan on working on any time soon nor want to work on because they themselves don’t see it as problematic. Those folks are unbelievable because wow, talk about dragging someone back to hell. This means they’re not going to work on their problems (because remember, it’s not a problem in their eyes) and they don’t understand that people don’t have to put up with their nonsense if it’s not reaping any super justifiable benefit. People are allowed to be flawed because everyone is but no one should be expecting anyone to deal with their issues as if that’s all that should matter in the relationship. Relationships can’t survive in a one-sided fashion.

It’s important to note that both folks are pretty self-preserving. Instead of letting the ex go (which is a painful and extensive process, let’s not negate that), they’re trying to force someone who’s already made up their mind to leave back into a place they, the ex, already expressed they didn’t want to remain. There’s no thinking about why the ex did it and what good did it do for that ex to leave a problematic person behind or what traits need to be worked on as a whole to prevent this all from happening again. Instead it’s about what unhappiness comes from a break-up and how to somehow turn back the hands of time to revive a dead relationship. Which then becomes a zombie relationship because there’s no love, there’s no feeling. It’s just an undead lingering feeling that will just wrack up more problems and less love because again, you can’t force anyone to love you just like you can’t force a dead person to be alive like they were previously. This is controlling behavior, which is not based in love. At all.

Controlling anyone, removing anyone of their freedom to choose, that isn’t love. Not at all. It hurts having someone leave you but forcing them to come back won’t make anything better. The love is gone, dude. Casting a spell on a person (which is a long and grueling work because chances are it’s going to have to be refreshed again and again and again depending on how long the client wants the spell going) is a terrible way of showing someone that you “care”. It’s no different than sticking a gun in their face and saying “So, we’re gonna be exactly like we were before. You never left me. We never had problems. I’m the guy/girl for you and we’re going to be happy, happy, happy. You just don’t understand it yet but you’ll see. We’re meant for each other.” That’s crazy talk. You need a visit from a therapist, not your ex if you truly feel that way.

Oh. And then there’s the obvious, “No one really likes it when you cast a spell on them to like you” part. I think it needed its own paragraph. Seriously, think about it: “I had a spell casted on you so we could be together, I just really didn’t want you to leave me,” is not going to get you greeted with admiration.

So, if you’re dealing with break-up pangs, don’t contact me about Pay for Pray. I don’t do it and I definitely don’t do it for something as unethical as that. Just let that person go. If they wanna get back with you, you better have your ears open and get ready to do some longstanding work. If they never want to get back with you again, respect that decision. I didn’t say “don’t cry about it”, “don’t get emo about it”, “don’t post ranty blog posts about it”, “don’t express unhappiness about it”. I never said, “Just accept it with a smile and move on as if nothing happened”, I said “if they never want to get back with you again, respect that decision.” You’re free to be as upset as you like. You just aren’t free to take someone else’s freedom of choice just because it doesn’t work with yours.

Now, about Pantheacon. I won’t be able to go due to travel issues (*cough*TSAandPTSDdon’tmix*cough*) and I am going to instead try to do a livestream of my feature instead on the day and time I was supposed to be doing it in Cali, which is Feb 16, 11 AM PST. More updates on that later.

Next week on The Arts!….DOCUMENTARIES (fun/interesting ones, I swear)

– Jimi Hendrix
– Paris is Burning
– Century of the Self

Woo!

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Love and Light-Headedness

Filed under: Pagan Life — Leave a comment
November 10, 2013

In all the decade plus I’ve been practicing magick, I have got to say, I never really was much for the “love and light” thinking.

For those out of the know, “love and light” is a mantra that reflects a thinking that is supposed to be all loving, all welcoming and very much positive and happy. No jinxes. If anyone slights you, you just feed them positive energy to bring them back into balance. You’re strictly good and that’s that. Now, there’s nothing wrong with being happy. Happiness is great! Problem is, not everything is all happy and perfect all the time. That’s not how life works. Life is sometimes really scary, frightening and angering. I feel that the “love and light” mantra neglects the more negative aspects of life.

Growing up, I had never seen it wise to look at the world through rose-colored glasses because it’s not the positive things in life that cause the most chaos, it’s the negative things. One could focus on the good as if the bad don’t exist but I think that leaves them open to be blindsided by negative events they could have prepared for. Or they may try to ignore the more sudden unhappy events and pretend everything is alright as it all gets worse. I rather focus on the problem and get it out the way and then focus on the good. That way, I can enjoy the good in peace. I may not like facing my problems (I strongly dislike confrontation) but I think it’s the best way to keep a problem from becoming a major hassle.

I do agree that the “love and light” thinking tries to keep people erring on the side of good, which definitely isn’t a bad thing. Anything to convince someone into doing the right thing and to prevent more negativity making it into the fold, I get that. The problem is that the thinking just isn’t realistic for those with harsher realities. For some folks, there isn’t always a good side to a bad situation. The bad guy isn’t always caught – sometimes he’s lauded and it’s the victim who is demonized. It’s just issues are far more complicated than good v. bad. In every story, just about everyone thinks they’re right or the hero, even the villain.

I think a good example that comes to mind is a scene I saw in the documentary “Century of the Self”. New school psychologists during the 1950s and ’60s thought that if people had a chance to vent and say their piece and be heard, this would be a better world. They tried applying this to racism, bringing in the Black Panthers and other Black individuals as well as White folks who wanted to participate. The psychologists already had managed to calm down the White revolutionaries with making them feel like it’s okay to ignore injustices as long as they were right with themselves (and had stuff to buy), and erroneously thought they could do the same thing here. It went horribly. During the meeting of the minds, a Black man was rightfully pissed and explaining how White-centered the world was but the White guy he was talking to kept being dismissive, saying the Black man wasn’t enslaved anymore, that he himself has not owned slaves (if the excuses sound familiar, that’s because they are oft touted, even today) and that if the world was so bad and mean, how come he, a White man, couldn’t see it? Thing is, the White revolutionaries the psychologists reformed could ignore injustices because it didn’t personally affect them. They’re White, they don’t have to worry about racism so they have room to be very “I’m all good vibes, man. Good vibes.” For the Black individuals, racism is a very real part of life that can be a real buzzkill – or, as seen recently, a real killer.

Actually, come to think of it, I think the “love and light” thinking came borne from that era. It definitely does not show up anywhere else in any other witchy or metaphysical writings because I imagine it would be too unrealistic. You just can’t have the good without the bad, that’s wildly imbalanced. If anything, the more general feel I get from other eras is “Try to do right for yourself and your loved ones and your community but don’t be afraid to defend yourself and your loved ones.” That’s more realistic. It doesn’t ignore that bad happens in the world, it just goes along the lines of “Hey, try not to be a douche.”

This doesn’t mean that people can’t strive for niceness and kindness towards others. I think it’s great that people do still want to be good and to do good by others but it is important to note that reality is not always as pleasant. It’s fantastic to be good, you shouldn’t strive to be a terrible person, but it is important to remember that just like there’s room for good, there is room for bad and that neither are 100% pure of themselves. It’s important not to harm others but that doesn’t mean you can’t defend yourself. However, this is implying that we all know who is exactly in the wrong and who is exactly in the right, which also can be complex.

Instead, just try to be a good person that’s fair to others. You don’t have to be a self-delusional bubblehead to be happy and peaceful, happiness and peace can be many things. You don’t have to lose grasp with reality to experience it. Instead of trying to be “love and light”, just try to be nice and fair.

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Erasure

Filed under: Pagan Life, Race — Leave a comment
November 3, 2013

Missed the Ustream on Samhain? Check it out here.

Earlier this week, I was going through my twitter and come to find out the hashtag #SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen, which was created by @Karnythia to take a pointed jab at how feminism in general is not really for all women but mainly framed for White women and their problems, thus thoroughly ignoring the intersection of race and gender and the issues those intersections create. Of course, when the hashtag had hit mainstream media, mainly White women were asked to talk about the hashtag and to talk for minority women, as if they had any clue. And not once was Karnythia ever asked to attend these major media events. If anything, she’s consistently silenced. The most recent (and definitely not surprising) offender is Feministing.

This is wildly problematic.

I remarked on Twitter about this but I’ll say it again: Whitewashing is a very common problem in activist communities and parades under the notion of being colorblind. Maintaining Whiteness and equality activism does not mix. At all.

Let’s start with the whole “But I’m colorblind!” bit since that’s what this form of erasure moves under most commonly.

Calling yourself colorblind is a bad idea because it is usually used to cover up or diminish the extensive and longstanding pain of historically marginalized groups (I like this term a lot better than “people of color”) because the default person in Western culture is White. To say you’re colorblind means you don’t see me nor my history and to you, it doesn’t really matter. One should not claim to be colorblind as a way to say “I don’t judge based on race” because to be honest, if you’re White, you most likely do, even without even knowing it, because that’s just how our culture is structured. To be colorblind is to fall back on the default of Whiteness because the notion of Whiteness isn’t being challenged at all and it’s a terrible attempt to run away from all the generational horrors the notion of Whiteness has caused. Besides, who said I didn’t want you to see my Blackness? My Black identity is very important to me (it’s half this blog’s name for a reason), the problem is when you think my Blackness is a reason to treat me poorly or to think that my opinions are invalid somehow.

Whitewashing is a form of colorblindness. It’s the Janelle Monae Covergirl ads that will praise Monae for being a brilliant, Black woman….but will lighten her skin, not showcase a shade for brown women and forever use White models around her to pimp their wares. Note below:

Notice where Covergirl could have casted two Black dancers behind Monae, they pulled a “colorblind classic” and got two White girls instead. Y’know, to offset the one Black girl that’s front and center. Because it isn’t diversity unless you squeeze random White people in there somewhere, huh? Some White feminist could say “This is feminism!” but it really it isn’t because you’re still marginalizing the impact Janelle Monae could have on others via tokenizing her. Namely, the others being Black girls, who are consistently forgotten or disregarded in makeup advertisement. Even Covergirl, despite saying they have a diverse pick of women to represent them, seem to really just want to continually push the image of White or White-passing girls. They may say their color blind but it’s clear they show that they’re moreso snowblind because it’s not a mistake that they keep lightening their browner models in advertisements, do not make extensive products for darker women, do not keep darker girls ads running as long as their lighter counterparts and do not continually pick darker minorities to put at the forefront. Almost as if they’re still trying to maintain the status quo of Whiteness but try to throw out a bone to everyone else now and again.

This is just one example of many. How about the meme’s that even White Feminists had tout: “I’m a strong, independent Black woman that don’t need no man!” Or how about the movie The Help, which pretty much was White Savorism just in the gender of girl. Or the fact that White feminists were okay with someone holding up a quote from wife beater singer John Lennon saying “Woman is the n****r of the world” at a Slutwalk a couple years ago. They were not only okay with it, some went as far as to defend it, completely forgetting that Black folks can be women too.

Instead of pretending a terrible history did not happen at the hands of forcing the ideal of Whiteness, try to acknowledge and offset it. That means being aware of the fact that minorities are forever running into institutionalized racism and bigotry, which is what the hashtag #SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen is about. The hashtag was to highlight how minority women, even in the throes of Feminism, are constantly forgotten, erased or told to pipe down. Back when White women were trying to prove that they could handle having a job and that they weren’t dainty princesses needing to be coddled and protected, Black women were forced as day workers, mammies, to have jobs taking care of White women because being stuck at home was not an option. Especially since Black women weren’t even seen as human on the same level as White women…which still occurs today. Think this is all recent chatter? Nah, Sojourner Truth talked about this, here’s a clickable excerpt below:

“That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain’t I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain’t I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man – when I could get it – and bear the lash as well! And ain’t I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother’s grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain’t I a woman?”

This is from the 1851, everyone. It’s currently 2013, going onto 2014. Talk about outdated and overdue.

I just do not feel that anyone who is an activist can do so while trying to uphold Whiteness because the both can’t coexist. You can’t fight for equality between genders but then display a passive form of racism through erasure to those that are supposed to be in your own ranks. Or a more active form of racism and crash into someone else’s space to claim as your own, which is what happened to the hashtag #SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen. It’s important for minority women to have their own spaces to talk about their issues, injecting White opinions won’t help anyone because nothing gets fixed and the idea of Whiteness is still left unchecked. This shows that we’re not even allowed even the smallest, most minute-appearing spaces (such as a Twitter tag) because, just like the appearance of Janelle Monae’s visage in a commercial for a brand that notoriously does not pitch to minority women fairly, it is somehow perceived as a threat to Whiteness and in an act of maintaining “colorblindedness”, is to be watered down as much as possible until it’s practically all White with a slight hint of “other”.

To say “Let’s be colorblind” can seem like saying “let’s forget alllllllllll about all the things oppression has done and let’s start fresh. Let’s keep it all White, but throw in a couple tokens. Worked for SNL.” It’s not taking a look at history, it’s not dismantling anything, it’s just saying, “Let’s move on because it makes me, the privileged party, feel uncomfortable.”

But hey, I guess one can still be an activist and still maintain Whiteness. I mean, the Tea Party and the Ku Klux Klan showcase that pretty effectively. No one is going to see you as progressive but hey, you’ll be fighting for something. Just not equality.

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[BW ANNOUNCEMENT: REMINDER] Black Witch Samhain Ustream chat tonight @ 6:30 PM EST

Filed under: BW Announcements — Leave a comment
October 31, 2013

Firstly, congrats to Samhain Pickers winners:

  • Kara M.
  • Sharon M.

Now, the Black Witch Samhain Ustream chat will be tonight at 6:30 PM EST (Not 9:00 PM EST, the time changed) You can interact with me via Ustream or through twitter (tweet @thisblackwitch) during the chat!

Click here to go to the Ustream page!

Or you could watch below on this embedded viewer (best to interact via Twitter if you do)

Live streaming video by Ustream

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Ask Black Witch: Derp Question Edition

Filed under: Ask Black Witch — 3 Comments
October 25, 2013

Before we start, have you sent in your submission for the Samhain Pickers Giveaway or know about the Black Witch Samhain vcast on Ustream? Info at the bottom of the post!

It’s almost Halloween/Samhain and wow did it show this month in terms of questions. I think the vast majority, if not all questions, I got were quite deadminded this month. Ugh. So I thought, “Hey, what’s a better way to show folks what not to send for Ask Black Witch than through actual example?” Remember, I appreciate only good questions. And eviscerate the bad ones. A person doesn’t have to write drivel to get my attention nor to get me to respond, trust. I try to respond to everyone as much as possible so you’ll get my attention regardless if you call for it but it’s purely up to you if you want my attention in a good or bad way. I still don’t get why people think you have to send sucky stuff or do negative things to be noticed.

Onward with the derp questions! And I’m not even going to do my usual light editing to smooth out super rough edges grammatically or writing wise.

i want to be a vamp plz help
– Leiaia

Short answer: No.

Long answer: Ok, people. Please don’t send me questions like these if you want me to take you seriously. Ever. If she said “Hey, I’ve been reading up on Vampires/Vampyres and even doing research. I think it would be interesting to be one, would you suggest any books or sites so I can learn more about it?” then I would have been fine because, hey, we all start somewhere and I’m a strong supporter in a person doing research using actual research materials, not Wikipedia and some teen supernatural-themed movie. Notice the full sentences, complete with non-txt speak spelling and the acknowledgement that I’m not their first stop of knowledge. If I got that question, I would have probably put in more research myself to help her out (I’m a Witch, not a vampire (I have interacted with the music industry but I’m not that fiendish) so my address book isn’t exactly filled with vampires, mummies and ghouls) and maybe put her on the right path because, yay, information.  This question is no different from the usual “plz help me b a witch”, which is also irritating. And so is the fact the person decided to send it to me twice with no improvements on the second go around. I actually drew this question from the second message (which was just like the first).

dream in a devil, as a living things come through my arms and back. just as 1/2.inch.tall.
– Jose R.

See, this made absolutely no sense whatsoever. All I gleaned from this was: Dream, devil, living things through torso, 1/2″ tall.

That’s still makes no sense and I have done weird dreams before. Probably some weirder than this one is trying to be. And because I did not understand what this kid was saying, I asked to clarify (which I do pretty frequently when I get questions that don’t make a lot of sense). This is the whole exchange:

BW: You’re making little to no sense, you’re going to have to clarify.

J: i ve been wake inside my dream and see the am talk w 4 shades

This dude is still not making a lic of sense. I guess he was talking about lucid dreaming? But still, he has to make sense enable for me to figure out what is going on. And he also decides to load my inbox with more fantastical, broken worded emails in a short period of time

J: what means to wake inside my dream and see the fevil but u side/ or see 4 dark shadows sit with me in a table talk it n play it??

What? He was doing so well at first, making sense and all, but then it descended back down into wtf-ville.

J: so if i can see the devil in my dreams, and the others where this bring me to???

Not exactly a strong achievement to see what you think may be the eternal lord of darkness in your dream. The dude of evil gets around. I still couldn’t make a whole lot of sense to be able to understand if what he saw was a dream symbol or the actual manifestation of Lucifer and work from there.

J: i cast up for a new trails in the shadows of the force that as to be purified to your minstrelsy in the blood that can only under my skin in the soulless incarnation of evil :

Wat da fuc-

BW: Yeah. You’re still making little sense. All I have gleaned from this is that you have the devil in your dreams, which could very well be a dream symbol in opposed to the actual lord of darkness paying you a visit and that there may be other dark entities that you’re seeing in your dream – which could also be symbols but I don’t really know for sure because your responses aren’t that descriptive.

And that’s the last I heard of the kid. I think…nope. He just sends under another email moniker (possibly an honest mistake).

J: hey i know the i would be livin in the underworld.n am ok with it.hey how can be into the black majic i ve been trying but do not work/ive been sleep inside a big pentagram n more. i saw merlin ones in my dream -for real no lie”!!

BW: This has got to be a joke. At least, that’s how I’m gonna perceive it.

J: no joke !!-u are witch.n ve never those( dreams ) cuz i be w then for ever !”

BW: If it isn’t a joke, then could you write out what is going on in better form than this There’s no way I’m taking what you wrote seriously otherwise.

J: well ; the thing is the always i been ve creapy dreams- but like 3 or 4 years ago i start to wrote about the devil- n god- angels- n man-) i ve tons of writing; n then my dreams.ve become more real. the i was it not no if i was sleep or not” ( no body has can tell me not about it .church- people dont want to hear about it” ( i guess ither u — blackwitch “:!!!

J: u ve no answer” i tough someone like u would ?;

BW: I’m not answering quickly because a) I have a life outside of BW and b) you still are making absolutely no sense because I can barely understand your writing since it is not in normal grammatical form. I generally don’t take seriously letters written this poorly because if the person didn’t care enough to make actual sense so I could provide help, I’m not really going to care either. So your option is A) write better in your next response or B) sit it out to the end of the month for the Ask Black Witch.

Everyone, if you’re going to write to me…. Make. Sense. To be honest, everyone thinks the devil is visiting them. Seriously. And don’t bother sending creepy photos like this kid did. They’re creepy and that doesn’t convince me you’re on to something, just some wannabe megalomaniac that’s reaching for any resemblance of relevancy.

And if you sleep in a pentagram, it doesn’t mean anything besides the fact that you probably have partially questionable interior decorating tastes. I think I have friends who also have a pentagram rug, they got it because it matched the drapes and posters on the walls. It’s really not a big deal. It won’t give you magical powers, it’s just decoration.

my name is anaie perales im 21 yrs old been with my boyfriend for fivr yrs and recently of last yrs we got married and we’ve been trying to if we could make a baby but we’ve been out of luck i was wondering if i could have kids
– Anaie P.

Dude, I’m not a doctor. GO SEE AN OB/GYN! A doctor for women and pregnancy would probably be your best bet on deciding if you can have a kid or not. Not me. I don’t even like children. Get some tests done and talk to a doctor to see if you’re infertile or not. Seriously. And if you’re worried about the cost, check out the Affordable Healthcare Act and go from there.

How do one join …
– Sheena

Full sentences are awesome. I really prefer to see more of them. It would have been nice if this person wrote a few herself. For all I know, she wants to know how to join the Illuminati, the Ku Klux Klan, the Republican Party, the circus, the AARP, whatever have you.

And that’s all the Ask Black Witch for this month! Remember, submit your entry to Samhain Pickers, winners are picked on Thursday. Winners get a free divination reading from me! Send in an email to thisblackwitch[at]hotmail.com* with “Samhain Pickers” in the subject line with this info in the body of the email:

  • Name:
  • Email:
  • Type of Divination (dream interpretation, tarot, cartomancy, natal chart):

Also! The Black Witch Samhain Ustream chat is on, you guessed it, Samhain/Halloween. It’s going to be at 9 PM EST. Click on this link to access it.

See you Thursday!

*This is to reduce spam mail I get. Goodness, can they crowd an inbox.

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The Arts!: Samhain Edition

Filed under: Resources & Information, The Arts — Leave a comment
October 20, 2013

Alright, it’s The Arts!: Samhain Edition! Here, I am posting more witchy based creative materials that you can use! Don’t forget, you can still submit to Samhain Pickers to win a chance for a free divination reading from me, Black Witch!

Want to send in an entry form? All info will be at the bottom of the post, three winners will be picked on Samhain/Halloween.

Now for the Arts!

Mythology Dictionary.com
Want to use a great online dictionary that isn’t God Checker because you want something strictly factual, not overly snarky? Mythology Dictionary is for you! It is ahhhhhhh-mazing! I really love it, I found it looking up new deities dictionaries. Usually whenever I check out mythology, I look up entries on African deities because if you need a litmus test on how well an all-around mythology dictionary works, look up anything that isn’t dedicated to the European deities. If the book has pages on pages about Aphrodite but a thumb print size scribble about Yemeya and the book looks and feel like it could substitute a brick, put the book down … or just lob it at the author’s head. Just chuck it. If it’s an online dictionary, just chuck your online device at them instead. Or a rock.

What I love most about it is how thorough it is on everyone and if there are deities of different cultures that happened to have the same names, they’ll get referenced too so you can learn more about the world or maybe you got the name right but the culture wrong. It’s a fantastic resource that I would highly recommend to anyone, new or experienced, because it’s such an outstanding resource for learning about different deities. Actually, this site will be replacing God Checker in my “Links of Interest” now.

Angelology Dictionary
Ever since having that mention about angels and thrones and such, it kind of has gotten me back into the gear of looking up (good) information of angels because hey, never know when you need the info and I founds a nice, useful general use array to use for when I get back into sigil working (I’m a wee rusty). These books are it!

encyclopedia of angelsThe Encyclopedia of Angels (Rosemary Guiley)

encyclopedia-angels-richard-webster

Encyclopedia of Angels (Richard Webster)

Remember folks, angels are not exactly people with wings so take caution!

Gryphon’s Moon
Avalon Moon would have been here but they’ve gone offline with their shop but Gryphon’s Moon is still here with their fantastic cloaks, Pagan wall hooks (which is great for me because I forever misplace my keys) and fantastic stuffs for all your magickal needs.

Planetary Hours
I know I featured this before but it bears showing again! It is a fantastic site that is great for any magickal practitioner that wants to know the correct day and hour to cast whatever they want. It’s fantastic for anyone who doesn’t want to pick up an ephemeris. Annnnnnnd it is localized so you’ll never make the mistake of finding out the correct hour for casting and discovering that it’s for a town three time zones over. It totally simplifies magick working.

The Hermetic
For my more hermetic practitioners! Here is the Hermetic Library. Read in English and Latin noted and not-so-noted works regarding hermeticism, Thelma and occultism. I just am speechless at the thoroughness of the site. There are writings from William Butler Yeats, Aleister Crowley, Florence Farr, and Swami Vivekananda. Just so much information all in one place. Outstanding simply!

Alright, now that’s that for The Arts:! Samhain Edition. Next Friday is Ask Black Witch. Don’t forget to submit questions! And for those who want to submit an entry for Samhain Pickers , here’s how you do it:

Send in an email to thisblackwitch[at]hotmail.com with “Samhain Pickers” in the subject line. In the body of the email, type:

– Name
– Email
– Type of Divination want done (option: dream interpretation, tarot, cartomancy, natal chart reading):

And press “Send”! Winners will be picked on Samhain/Halloween!

Also, I can’t believe I nearly forgot! Ustream chat on Halloween! It will be done at 9 PM EST on Halloween/Samhain. Be there! Ask me questions, interact with me, whatever. Let’s talk!

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Is That So?

Filed under: Pagan Life, Race — 7 Comments
October 18, 2013

Y’know, I was going to write about Black representation in media regarding supernatural theme shows, then I thought, “Nahhhhhhh, I’ll write about Black culture and its relationship (or lack thereof) with mental illness.” Newp. Instead, I’m going to write about erasure of identity, thanks to a conversation I had online.

One of the worst things you can say to anyone who lacks privilege is “we’re all human”. Okay, not worst but it practically heads the top ten list of most annoying. Its sibling saying is, “yeah but that was in the past, it’s different now.”

No. No it isn’t.

While it is true that we all bleed red, some of us have bled far more than others. And not only have we bled, we’re told to just up and get over it, it’s only a flesh wound. It is very important to not neglect the fact that injustices happened to historically marginalized groups, ever, because it is disrespectful to our history. And when the privileged suffer some sort of injustice, regardless however small in comparison to the bigger picture, they want parades, holidays and commemorative plaques to bear the incident in memory. (See: Occupy Wall St., discussions of 9/11)

What started all this was a friend of mine (and reader of this blog) was told by an elderly White woman that she, a Black girl, would have loved living in the ‘50s. Friend said it was awkward because, well, the ‘50s may have been cute and dandy for Whites, it sure wasn’t for everyone else. Of course, pretty much everyone agreed until a random White girl appeared and tried to say that why were we giving the ‘50s a bad rap? The elderly lady was talking about fashion and such, why bring up the start-up of what we know now as the Civil Rights Movement? People tried explaining to her that the ‘50s was a much different time for Blacks than it was for Whites. It was a much less happier time that also had sharp fashion but also lynchings, bombings and other things that I and any other sensible Negro kinda personally wouldn’t want to experience just for some poodle skirts and victory rolls. She, of course, didn’t get it because she continued with saying we’re being oppressive towards an old White lady because we thought she should have said either nothing at all or a basic “you look nice”.

Oppressive.

She legit used the word “oppressive”.

Us saying (after the fact) that the lady made a White privilege-induced brain fart is on key with bombing a church, using intimidation tactics to prevent people from exercising their right to vote (or live for that matter. Y’know “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” and all that jazz), stringing people from trees and using police force as well as psych campaigns when those dang colored folk started demanding rights. Y’know, like they actually were the primary reason the country they reside in is a super power nation.*

Oh really now?

Ok, I have mostly a Black Pagan readership (which I’m proud of because it means I’m attracting the right people, the target audience) but for the random White reader (which makes me wonder: why are you here? Unless one you happen to be Jane Elliot. You rawk. \m/,), lemme give you a lil’ briefer on history, minorities and crimes against humanity:

Don’t ever say we should forget or call us angry or upset as if it’s irrational. If the subject matter makes you feel bad, that’s good, it should make you feel bad because it was absolutely atrocious. Very bad. Absolutely horrible. It just means your humanity is kicking in and your natural sense of right and wrong is calibrated correctly. You have got to remember that it wasn’t all hopscotch and happy days for everyone back in the past. Don’t ignore other perspectives because they make you feel weird when brought to light. You don’t have the right to make that call. You’ve barely the right to get moody about it, let alone try to tell people that it was the past and how we’re past that now. No. No we’re not. A teen was shot in Florida because he wore something that made a random, emotionally unstable bigot go into first-person shooter mode. That was 2012. It’s 2013. And that’s just one case, there are many, many cases and incidents that don’t get the same coverage. Racism is alive and well. People still lob slurs at minorities, check out a Youtube comment section if you don’t believe me. Check out Miley Cyrus’ VMA performance (which was mere months ago) if you don’t believe me. Stop deluding yourself because you’re not directly impacted by the problem but benefit from it, no need to get upset when folks point that out.

Think of racism as the bedbug of society. You wouldn’t tell a friend who’s got bedbugs to ignore it and maybe the little critters will move on to another house. Instead you’d most likely help them figure out how to eradicate the problem. Ignoring the fact racism exists doesn’t help anyone except those who benefit from Whiteness and this is running on the assumption that ignoring is possible because it’s pretty hard to ignore when laws are passed in the name of bigotry, when you’re not picked for jobs because they’d prefer a White person instead, when people treat you differently (read: worse) because of your skin. And don’t bother trying to tell me or any minority what your perfect world is if our identities have to be erased in favor for the idea of Whiteness in that world. If that’s the case, it’s not perfect, it’s a hellhole. White-centered utopic thinking is a terrible idea. Occupy Wall St. were really big offenders of this thinking and they wondered aloud why minorities weren’t rushing to their sides, all the while pushing ideas that mainly were built on the spectrum of Whiteness, regardless of intersection.

Getting back to center, this girl wasn’t Pagan as far as I know but this isn’t a very far jump from how mainstream Paganism thinks, especially since the face and culture of modern Paganism is fairly White. I’ve heard the same in Pagan circles: “just forget about it”, “racism is dead”, “I was/am oppressed too because I’m [Irish/Woman/Pagan/Gay]”, the gambit. Firstly, because we gotta get this out of the way: ignoring intersections doesn’t help you out. You may be gay but you’re still White and gay. The intersection of Black and gay is still more tumultuous because of the twofold combination of racism and homophobia. The intersection between Black and Pagan and female is also just as tumultuous because of the threefold combination of racism, sexism and religious bigotry. As said prior, if minorities bringing up racism makes you feel bad, the fault doesn’t lie with the minority for being really honest with how their life is, the fault is with the society thinking that the minority is a liar and thus continue performing acts of racism, be it subtle or overt.

Despite the progressive looking lip service, mainstream Paganism tends to fight against acknowledgements of racism in the community and like to sweep non-beneficial parts of history under the rug. Try to hijack Voudon for all its rootwork? Oh sure. Thieve from Native American culture for cleansing techniques? Go right ahead. Ransack Eastern beliefs for meditation methods and ways of thinking? O hai, y not? Bring up slavery and colonialism? Dude! Why so harsh? It’s really problematic because it’s erasure, which is part of Whitewashing. The original culture does not benefit from the promotion of these now horribly-divorced parts of their culture. If anything, they’re continually degraded and treated like they’ve never created a thing or that thing wasn’t worth anything until White culture got ahold of it.

All in all, it’s important that history is not revamped to be more White-centric, and thus erasing the experience of everyone else. It helps no one when my culture’s history is ignored because it jars White culture’s depiction of it. It’s more important to see the whole picture instead of the more privilege-friendly snapshots. Erasing identities doesn’t solve racism. Ignoring past and current crimes against humanity doesn’t solve racism. Performing micro-aggressions and micro-invalidations doesn’t solve racism. Opting for a more White-centric perspective definitely doesn’t solve racism (if anything, it continues it). Don’t like the fact that people constantly bring up marginalization when the past is brought up? Deal with it because it happens and the effects are still strongly felt today.

And that’s the first column for today. Coming up in the next few hours: The Arts!: Samhain Edition

Remember, I’m still accepting entries for Samhain Pickers Giveaway. The prize is a divination reading from me and only three winners are chosen at total random.

Here’s how you submit an entry:

Send in an email to thisblackwitch[at]Hotmail.com with “Samhain Pickers” in the subject line. In the message of the email, please write:

– Name

– Email

– Type of Divination (Cartomancy, Tarot, Natal Chart, Dream Interpretation)

Also, next week is Ask Black Witch so if you have any questions, send them in! Good questions are appreciated, bad questions are eviscerated!

* We are. Crack open a history book if you don’t believe me.

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Leaving Afro-Punk/”It’s October!”

Filed under: AfroPunk/The Establishment, Pagan Life — 2 Comments
October 4, 2013

So, this is the last Black Witch post on Afro-Punk. I first started there three years ago when there were regular columnist rotations such as Dorm Room Diaries and T.O.B.E. and even cartoonist Keith Knight was here. I think that Afro-Punk has indeed changed since then and rapidly at that and it feels a little out of place for me to stay here as a regular columnist. I’m sure it’s odd for some of the newcomers to see my columns pop up in the midst of the usual Afro-Punk postings because I hit a pretty particular niche (the Black and Pagan demographic).

I’ve had an awesome run there. Some notable memories:

– Helping photographer Nastassia Davis get put on BGLH (Black Girl, Long Hair) and in turn, on Afrobella. Yay, helping friends out.

– Meeting Lupe Fiasco in NYC and having him actually know who I was before I could really get two sentences out my mouth after “Black Witch” and him asking for my business card because he was happy that I gave his rock band, Japanese Cartoon, some shine. He’s a really cool person that I am really happy to meet and even chill with. He has a brilliant sense of humor.

– Got bored at an Afro-Punk holiday party, found an empty room at the [Walberg Center in NYC?] where nothing but a bunch of DJ’s were mixing and scratching one by one on stage with vinyl. It was so cool seeing seasoned musicians mix, fade and cut the old school way in the hometown of Hip Hop itself.

– Running into Solange Knowles at the 2012 AfroPunk Festival, it was a massive surprise. Pharrell Williams was too.

– Running down Reggie Watts at the 2012 Afro-Punk Festival in full gothic lolita (how I didn’t fall is beyond me) for an interview

– Hanging out with the Afro-Punk staff at Free Candy for Battle of the Bands last year, I really appreciated it

And many more memories. It was fun but I think it’s time for me to go.

Now, BW isn’t finished for good, I still have my own site here on WordPress, a Tumblr, an FB fan page and a Twitter account. It’s just ending on Afro-Punk. It’s nice to have gone on for so long though, it’s really nice. I didn’t think that BW was going to last for this long, especially not years. There’s still a lot I want to do and a lot I want done with Black Witch so, again, BW isn’t going to disappear off the face of the internet.

So, here’s the final Black Witch post for Afro-Punk:

“It’s October!”

I can usually tell when October is rolling around. How? My inbox starts to fill with some of the most idiotic questions I could possibly ever encounter.

Here’s the basic format of how these questions will be:

Poorly written: No matter what, these questions will always be written with a cross hybrid language of text speak and illiteracy. And no matter how much I ask them to repeat themselves in basic English, they still write as if they’re sliding their face across the keyboard. And it isn’t a case of “maybe English isn’t their first language”, I’ve worked enough with international folks (and speak multiple languages) to know what ESOL English looks like and it is usually better than what I’m seeing.

Subject matter is usually pretty derpy: The most letters I’ve gotten now are people thinking the Devil is paying them a visit or they want to be supernatural beings. I just…come on, someone send me some good questions, not some plain Jane subject. It seems everyone thinks Satan is personally pestering them. I know the dude gets around but jeez, I think even the devil would take some time off of trolling humans. There’s a whole world of spirits and energies, I’m sure humans can’t be that interesting.

Attempting to sound desperate/powerful: I don’t know why but people will talk to me like I’m their last and only hope in the C-rate Marvel Comics movie that is their life. I know to the untrained eye, I look like I’m going way too hard on these kids but trust me, once you have been practicing metaphysics for a long enough time and field enough questions, you start to get the sensation that it really isn’t as big a deal as these kids are making it seem.

Conspiracy Nuts!: These guys come once in a while but they’re memorable when they do. With their “I saw so-and-so with the Devil” accusations of some musician being part of the Illuminati or how the President has a secret conspiracy to sell America to China because Obama is somehow a secret Communist Socialist Nazi that hates America (yet will somehow put up with its bullsh*t as the first Black president), these guys are clearly off their rocker. They could use a hug…from a strait jacket.

Spell Requests: Despite the fact I have said countless times that I don’t post spells on BW, I still have people asking me for magick or for me to cast spells for them. Firstly, if you want a spell casted for you, that will never come cheap if you want it done well. Secondly, I don’t cast for others. Third, I said I don’t pass out spell info, why did you think this was just as good an idea to approach me with?

Look, everyone. I love hearing from my readers. I think it’s neat that y’all care enough to actually talk to me, I really do appreciate that. However, when it comes to asking me questions, I really prefer good questions in opposed to the Treehouse of Horror variety. Good questions make me think and I can feel like a real conversation is happening. With poor questions, I just feel like I’m simply receiving crap by the payload. It’s not that I mind answering questions, I just need them worth my while.

When it comes to metaphysics and the internet there, you can research your question before popping it into my inbox. I always appreciate a well thought out question.

Now that October is here, I guess it’s time to get things into swing.

As it is October, that means that this post starts the Samhain Pickers Giveaway. All you gotta do is submit an email to thisblackwitch[at]Hotmail.com with “Samhain Pickers” in the title and in the email, put down this info:

  • Name
  • Email
  • Type of divination (cartomancy, tarot, natal chart, dream interpretation)

Three winners will be picked on Samhain (Halloween). Only one submission per person!

Also there will be an Ustream chat on Samhain/Halloween at 8 PM EST. Be there!

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Ask Black Witch: Want My Dream Home, How Can a Song Be Used as a Spell

Filed under: Ask Black Witch, Spells & Potions — 2 Comments
September 27, 2013

It’s this month’s Ask Black Witch, where you ask me questions and I answer them. You can send in questions in a myriad of ways, on site, via Tumblr, tweet, email, comment or send a message on the BW Facebook Fan Page. Remember, good questions appreciated, bad questions are eviscerated!

Hello My question is about spell-casting and being specific about minute details. I have a clear idea of what I want my spell to manifest, but I’m wondering how much detail is just too much. For example I want to manifest a house. I want to it have 3 bedrooms, a large yard, a garage and it has to be blue with Queen Elizabeth rose bushes in the front. Will being so specific help or hinder my spell?

– Mint

Being specific in spells is a really good thing. However, there is such thing as being too specific because the spell may not work out exactly how you want or take waaaaaaaaaaaay longer than you would want to. It seems you have your dream house in mind, which is good that you know what you want now but it may be too specific for your spell because you may change your mind about, say, the flowers or you want to nix a bedroom It’s good to instead find a middle ground with your specifications by having the goal house in mind but casting a spell for just getting a comfortable and happy home because you could get the house you want but it’s wrapped up in red tape, predatory lending or a relationship gone bad. It’s more than just a house that makes a home. So find a middle ground because your idea of a dream home may change over the years and if it does, your spell (which won’t manifest overnight if that’s what you’re hoping for) can still keep chugging along, unabated. Which is what you want.

Okay, I’m confused. How does repeating song lyrics constitute a spell?

Black Witch, could you please educate me?

– Vicki V.

The reader is referring to a spell I reblogged on Tumblr (this is probably the closest y’all will get me to actually posting full length spells on here*, ha!) which uses a spell inspired by Yoko Kanno’s song “Call Me, Call Me”.

Music is a pretty useful way to raise energy, which is necessary for every spell you do. If a song resonates strongly with your intentions, then it can be used in a spell. Since the spell was about getting back in touch with people you haven’t heard from in a while and the song was about the same, the song would work well in the spell as a tool to send out intent. Already in music there is rhythm, rhyming (not all spells need to rhyme, in case someone was thinking that), movement and more which can aid in spellworking. Music is magic and can definitely be magickal.

And that concludes Ask Black Witch for this week! Try to spot me at the Baltimore Book Festival this weekend! I’ll be running around pretending I’m social. If you’re into Jfashion (Lolita, Gyaru, Vis Kei, Shinori, Yanki, etc etc etc), there’s going to be an Afr-Am Jfashion walk in DC on Oct 6. Get in touch for details if interested! I’ll be there. And next month is October, which means that the Samhain Pickers Giveaway is around the corner!

*I barely reblog spells on the Tumblr so don’t think you’ll get a stockpile there, either.

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The Arts! (Qahera, Static Shock fan movie, Princess Princess)

Filed under: The Arts — Leave a comment
September 25, 2013

First of all, sorry for the lateness! Here to bring you comics and superhero goodness. Let’s get into it!

Qahera
I really liked this superhero because there aren’t really any Muslim superheroes and especially girl ones. What I really like the most is that she defends women from street harassment all the while sufficiently showing exactly what street harassment looks like (derogatory comments, grabbing people, etc.) and how scary it can be to experience. And she’ll also show the flaws in “White Feminism/White Saviorism” (*cough*Femen*cough*). However, what I find that is most appealing is that the creator clearly took time to flesh out this character, not just go “She’s going to be the sock puppet/cardboard cutout of Feminism”, which happens to a lot of social issues girl characters, which can be frustrating.

Here’s two samples of the work:

Qahera sample

Sample 1 (Click for full size)

Qahera sample2

Sample 2 (Click for full size)

You can only wish for a superhero like that to exist in real life. This comic is in both Arabic and English and you can check it out here

Static Shock
Static Shock is a favorite superhero of mine, that’s for fact. There is such a dearth of good Black superhero movies (we all know why*, despite Spawn and Blade showed it can happen) so it’s fantastic to see with the advent of accessible media, people can make these stories come to life.

Princess Princess
I noticed Princess Princess around the same time I saw Princeless (This almost makes me want to do an “All Black Everything comics giveaway”) but didn’t get into it immediately until I noticed it was a series. Here’s a page:

Princess Princess sample

Click for full size

What I find really cool is that it’s two princesses that are the main leads in the story with two different backgrounds (one is trapped in a tower, one wants to be a tomboy) that by themselves, could make for a usual princess story but instead are intertwined in a fashion that is intriguing and entertaining. They adopt the roles and traits of rescuer and damsel in distress but not in the same, boring, classic fashion, the girls actually are dynamic and challenge the cookie cutter idea that girls can’t be complex or round characters.

And that’s all. Ask Black Witch is on Friday (I promise it’ll be on time). Send in your questions here, via email, using the submission form, on Tumblr or on Twitter. (Don’t know any of the handles? Just go to the Black Witch Network page and you’ll find all that you need)

*If you feel out of the loop: it’s racism. Look up Green Lantern and Whitewashing in superhero movies. Then look up Black Panther movie.

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