Tag Archive: sex and sexism

Alright, the very final post of the Black Witch series, The Arts! This will have plenty of resources for sex and sexuality starting with books. And check out the end! Black Witch events!

wanderingwombThe Wandering Womb: A Cultural History of Outrageous Beliefs about Woman
(Lana Thompson)
Western history has had a long stand about the body of woman and how society should perceive it, which has transformed over time. This book talks about those beliefs from the beginning and, as the title states, how outrageous and perverse they are. From the theory of the uterus and hysteria to medical theory about women and how their bodies work. Lighthearted, filled with imagery and informative, this book is quite something.

Virgin Virgin: The Untouched History
(Hanne Blank)
This book is incredibly awesome. It talks about the history of virginity. Did you know that our concept on virginity is a fairly recent thing? Also, it talks about the hymen, which was not always the determinate of virginity. In addition, there are wild misconceptions about hymens (there is no such thing as “destroying” or breaking/popping a hymen) and this book talks about it in detail the social obsession with virginity, hymens, culture and how the world interacts with the existence of women and their bodies. It’s a really cool book and fantastically written, I highly recommend reading it.

body drama Body Drama: Real Girls, Real Bodies, Real Issues, Real Answers
(Nancy Amanda Redd)
This book. This book right here? Prepares you for life. Like, life, man. Life. This is the best book I had ever under-appreciated in my liiiiiiiiiiiiiife. Oh my gods. This book is a must read for all girls, especially if you are a minority because this book has it all and most importantly…it’s not a book that’s targeted at White girls with some tokens scattered throughout the pages like the vast majority of them are. It actually reflects girls and all their problems and backgrounds. It talks about more than just puberty but the body and how it works and develop from ashy skin to hair to embarrassing questions such as weird smells and skid marks. It’s a great book to learn that as a girl, your body is normal, no matter what the tv and the magazines and the ads tell you. So many girls, especially girls who aren’t White, have such concerns about their bodies and nowhere to go because welp, most books about girls bodies are directed at White girls pretty much exclusively and go to other sources which can provide misinformation such as “Coca cola is an effective spermicide”, “bleach is useful to stop pregnancies in the morning after”, “pulling out is 100% effective” and “can’t get preggers at all through anal sex”. It is body positive, sex positive, real life positive! It helps with all the body and emotional stuff that girls (and growing women) go through that if it had a section on how to write resumes and pay taxes, all bases would be covered and have to be re-titled Book o’ Life, How to Be Alive.

theteenguyguide The Teenage Guy’s Survival Guide
(Jeremy Daldry)
This book is for the fellas. When I was growing up, I read books for both guys and girls because hey, if I wanted to learn real facts about boys, why not go to the source, right? I’ve discovered that this book is fantastic to explain bodies, puberty and girls to boys. It’s really a great book and I highly recommend it. It talks about masturbation, fantasies and relationships in a humorous, non-complicated way. Just like Body Drama, it tells guys about their bodies in an unabashed way and that it is okay to not match the depictions of masculinity in media today. It’s a great book for boys to learn about themselves, feel secure in who they are as boys and how to separate fact from fiction.

These vids are fantastic for those who do want info now, now, now!

Chescaleigh is pretty nifty! I like her videos! She also has several that are on point with the theme of this series!

“How Slut Shaming Becomes Victim Blaming” is a great video for those who are still fuzzy on the first piece of the How Much Do You Love Me series where I talk about slut shaming and how harmful it is.

“Cat Called”, shows why it is never cool to do street harassment (yep, cat calling is one strong and definite example of street harassment. Don’t do it.)

“No Mo’ ‘No Homo’”, which is a fantastic example of why it’s really stupid to say “no homo”.

Although Laci Green can a bit iffy when it comes to discussions of race, she did make this informative video, found through Chescaleigh’s “How Slut Shaming Becomes Victim Blaming” video that does have good explanation of slut shaming and why it is bad for everyone.

And another video titled “You Can’t POP Your Cherry! (Hymen 101)” of hers that provide information on the reality of the hymen and how virginity is depicted around it.

“Our Hidden Culture” goes in depth with street harassment (such as cat calling) and rape culture

And “The Gender Box”! As explained by LinzerDinzer and Miles Jai, cramming yourself inside a gender box is not very fitting.

This is really great for those who may be impatient, a bit embarrassed to get the books (and that’s fine), lack access to the books or simply want all the information right then and there. Here are some great sites!

Condom Depot – Y’all should have seen this coming. Best safe sex product site I’ve ever come across. They have everything from condoms (with rating system, rolled out visuals, measurements and customer reviews). Ordering is discrete – it won’t say “Condom depot” anywhere on the box so it’s easy to fly under the radar – and very affordable! Also there are articles and other writings on sex health, politics and culture around the world. Even if sex makes you squeamish now, just keep this site in mind for later.

Bedsider – This site is fantastic for learning about different types of birth controls without the scary or inaccurate sex ed. lessons! It comes with insightful videos, interactive guides and even a guide on which birth control to choose from abstinence to IUDs. This is a great site, even for the squeamish and easily squicked out about sex and bodies.

Rape Is Not Your Fault – This is for those who have endured sexual assault and rape, both guys and girls. Remember, no matter what happened, it is not your fault. You didn’t lead them on, it wasn’t what you wore, nothing that you said, you are not at fault at your own demise. It is the rapist fault because they are the rapist, they attacked you, not the other way around, end of story. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying and blaming the wrong person, you, and not the person who committed an act of rape. It does not matter if you know the person, if you trusted them or how close you were to them, they had no right whatsoever to dupe you and then persuade you that you’re the criminal of your own crime when really it was them all along. They are the criminal and they should suffer the repercussions because of it and there is no excuse in the book that should save them from it. Again, it is not your fault. The site is meant to serve Baltimore City but can be used by anyone affected by rape and sexual assault. There is also an “Escape” and “Clear History” bar if you are triggered.

And that’s the finish of How Much Do You Love Me series! Normal posting resumes next week! (I promise, I have everything ready and all) And here are two events where you can hang out with me, Black Witch:

Black Witch Meet and Greet (April 14; Baltimore, MD):Let’s hang out and meet each other! This is the Black Witch Meet and Greet, where you can meet me, fellow readers and have fun. Located at the Washington Monument, (if it rains, we’ll be at the Central Library) this event is open to any and everyone. I’ll also be bringing my BW merch, especially the marimos (they’re so popular!) so if anyone wants to buy but duck the shipping, this is the best way to go. The meet and greet will be on April 14th starting at 1 PM EST and going to 4 PM. Be there! If this one is really successful, there will most likely be a monthly BW meet and greet.

Ka-ra-o-ke! Music Time With Black Witch! (May 5; Baltimore, MD): I love singing and I especially love karaoke! So let’s do some karaoke together! We will gather at Rainbow Music Studio on 2126 Maryland 2 and have a room to sing the night away! Rooms prices are $35/hour for up to six people and increases by $10 when up to six more people show up (Ex: $45/hour for 12, $55/hour for 18, so on and so forth) so depending on how many people come, the price could be really small ($5.83 per person if up to six, $3.75 per person for up to twelve, so on and so forth) or bigger than that so although I will keep everyone updated, be sure to bring at least $15.

This post is part of the How Much Do You Love Me? series. Normal posting resumes in April.

Ah, the Nice Guy. This myopic douchebag believes that women should automatically give them sex because they’re sooooooo nice and kiiiiiiiiiind and def. not like other guys. They harass women on the street, have very difficult cognitive skills that borderline “absolute idiot” when it comes to understanding phrases like “No, stop talking to me and leave me alone,” and they believe any woman that is outside their house or visible on the internet is fair game, regardless whether she is busy, tired or plain not social. Women aren’t people to them, just a trophy to win and get sex from.

Here’s the thing about the Nice Guy. He’s not that nice. If anything, he attempts to be manipulative and when the manipulation fails, goes full on salty douchebag. Here’s a great video by the1janitor about why being a Nice Guy, isn’t really being a nice guy.

Wasn’t that vid all informative and fun? This dude hits the nail right on the head. See, women, given that we are people, like to be treated as people, not as damsels in distress or as if we’re open pickings simply because we exist. That’s why I made fun of that dude several Ask Black Witches ago because that’s exactly what he was doing and I, like any other girl, do not appreciate that. No girl or woman appreciates some random person walking up to them going, “You wanna start a relationship [with me, a total stranger]?” It’s creepy as hell, rude and any guy who does that fully deserves to get their every emotion obliterated because they don’t know how to talk to people. Look, if a girl walked up to a dude and acted just as desperate, I have a strong feeling that she would be treated as, well, desperate. Guys shouldn’t be excluded from such treatment because society told them that they are to be the actors and the women to be the acted upon. Nope, act like a jerk, get treated like a jerk, it’s that simple.

Now, if anyone is confused about how girls (and guys) should be chatted up, try the “like a human” route. Y’know, say hi, start small talk, learn to read and acknowledge the girl (or guy) not wanting to talk if it occurs. All you need are regular social skills you should have learned in grade school.

If you’re reading this and still feeling that, “Hey, women should learn how to be more receptive”, congrats, you are the human embodiment of rape culture, your “Proud to be a Douche” trophy will be in the mail with one (1) free coupon to the nearest castration and assisted suicide clinic. Thank you for your unwanted participation.

What is rape culture, everyone? It’s everywhere, from the Nice Guy syndrome to street harassment, to slut shaming to domestic violence to rape itself. It’s the fancy little ball of wtf that makes life pretty hard to live, especially if you’re a girl. It’s the societal assumption that of both genders, women, regardless of whether they’re grown or little girls, are supposed to be acted upon at all times. That, regardless what happens, they should be the victim and it will always be their fault because the onus is supposed to be on the woman to protect her modesty and chastity, especially if they are a minority. And that brings us to this side bit about guys calling women “females”.

See, the term “female” instead of “woman” is degrading. Simple as that. It steals away the human identity because we’re not scientific specimens, we’re people (if I sound like a broken record with this whole “women are people” thing, you won’t believe how many people are not actively aware of this fact). If we can’t even have the basic decency of being regarded as a person, just don’t talk to us. Rudimentary gender description should only be reserved for forms and to describe a group of people where age is not accounted for situation, never in informal talk or chatter. Either you were talking to a girl or a woman, not simply a female so choose one. Demetria of Ask Demetria was very on point when she said that when guys say “female” instead of “woman or girl”, it simply is another word for “b*tch”. So if any guy wants to be successful with women, take it out your vocabulary. It just tags you with “I’m probably a wife beater and/or rapist, please be rude to me.” This is also ditto with “shorty” and “ma”. Use of “Queen” means you’re the Afriboo edition of the degrading douchebag with a side of Nice Guy. Please avoid it.

On that note, I wanna bring up rape. If you think a rapist is a creepy guy in the bushes, hate to say it but you’re wrong. Almost 80% of rapes are done by guys that the girl* knew, which is part of why the number of reported rapes are so low. The “creepy guy in the bushes” is about 9%. (Lying about rape is about 2-4%.) Rape, as defined by the FBI, is “The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim,” which basically mean if there isn’t consenting, it. Is. Rape. End of story. Forcing the girl to have sex? Rape. Is she sleep and wants to stay that way but you don’t? Rape. Is she drunk beyond comprehension? Rape. She says no or something along those lines and you won’t listen? Rape. Rape is rape. Between straight couples, gay couples, guy forcing himself on girl, girl forcing himself on guy, so on and so forth, it doesn’t matter, rape is rape. If the dude refuses to acknowledge non-consent in any way, shape or form, it rape/sexual assault.

I’m sure some folks don’t know how rape and sexual assault are different so here’s a basic cheat sheet:

  • if it is unwelcomed touching in an inappropriate area such as breasts or derriere or crotch, it’s sexual assault
  • if it is unwelcomed touching anywhere else on the body or making inappropriate sexual comments, it’s sexual harassment (which is what street harassment falls under, we’ll be talking about that later)
  • if it is forced sex (oral, vaginal or anal), it’s rape.

And there you go, your cheat sheet for life, now you can talk to people without risking interaction with the healthcare system, judicial system or mace. Still confused? Read and read again. Don’t wait for a “no” but aim for an enthusiastic “yes”. A rapist isn’t the creepy dude in the shadows but the guy who decided to not understand dissent.

Now, I’m sure I will have the random guy or girl (mainly guy) reader that goes, “But-but-but, women are aloof creatures that mean one thing but do another? How am I supposed to know when they say ‘yes’, it means ‘yes’ and when they say ‘no’ they’re not just playing ‘hard to get’? Women are so crazy, they make no sense.” Firstly, please turn off the tv, drop all your men magazine subscriptions and listen up: Women are no more complicated people than men are. Humans are, by extension, complicated creatures. If we weren’t, psychology wouldn’t exist, self-help writers would be starving in the street and advertisement would choose smarter methods to convince you to get their product rather than go down the “get the girl/all the girls” route that so strongly populates our media. Yes, you’re gonna come across some random girl who internalized the misogyny of mainstream modern culture, just like I come across guys who internalized patriarchal, hyper-masculine ideas of mainstream modern culture. They are generally nutters, poorly deluded, insecure (both genders) and – as you could probably guess – not worth bothering about with. If you think women are crazy, you’re probably the nutter I described above.

On street harassment: don’t do it. Street harassment is basically making inappropriate or sexist remarks or actions to women, using abusive language when women rebuff your random encounter. Most women hate street harassment because it is exactly that, harassment. Telling a woman to smile is harassment (if you don’t tell guys to smile, then yes, it can be seen as sexist probably because it is because like men, women have hard days and aren’t bobbing bubbles of sunshine), trying to get a woman’s number exactly .05 seconds after acknowledging her existence is harassment (and creepy), assuming that a woman needed your opinion on how short her skirt is/big her legs are/small her bust is/tight her shirt is/etc and loudly voicing that opinion is harassment. If you want to get to know a woman, try talking to her like a human being using normal social skills, it’s probably your best method. And if you’re miffed that girls put up a defense the second you talk to them, probably because you’re not the first guy to harass them and secondly, that society believe that women should be on their guard from future harassment or suffer being slut-shamed and deal with endless victim blaming because, welp, they didn’t protect their virginal ways enough.

If someone just checked their calendar throughout all this, yes, it is still 2013 but it feels so 1813, don’t it? We can call someone on the other side of the earth as if they lived in the next house over, complete with HD visuals and our phones can double as tvs, music players, cameras, calculators, PDAs, datebooks, computers and more but we still have to have this “Treat women like people because they are” discussion that folks didn’t understand back when they thought that hysteria meant the uterus was floating throughout the body and that blowing tobacco smoke up your derriere could alleviate stomach pain and save near drowning victims (I’m not making this up, check out #9). Yep. What strides in time we have made.

So, don’t be a Nice Guy. Be yourself – Oh, and the Friendzone! Let us talk about the Friendzone!

Okay, the friendzone is what the “Nice Guy” believes is the worst thing that could happen to them: to only be considered a friend and nothing more. Not a guy to screw or even a potential boyfriend, just a normal friend. Oh, the horror. All their niceness and pleasantness, wasted! I mean, if there’s no booty to be gotten, what else could possibly be there for the Nice Guy? All that is left is this girl who should now be derided as a tease and perplexing cunt who lead him on. How dare she not thank him for his kindness without removal of the panties? How mean. It’s like she saw the dude as a normal guy who had no ulterior motives they’d use conniving and manipulative methods for such as “be nicer than nice”.

The Nice Guy is only nice because they feel their only other method to get what they want lives out in a popular Sublime song: “If it wasn’t for date rape, I’d never get laid.” Using the more passive method of just pretending to be a decent human being, when it doesn’t bear the fruits of labor they prefer, here comes the whining of the friendzone because apparently being a friend to someone is a terrible thing. On the other end of all this, the girl is being “f*ckzoned”, meaning the Nice Guy doesn’t see her worth as a person or who she is, just as a walking Fleshlight. This girl could be really cool and smart but if she’s not dropping her skirt, there’s not much worth to her in the eyes of the Nice Guy. That most truly is coldhearted and degrading thinking because the girl is not seen as a whole person anymore but a sex aid, she’s objectified.

So, what if all the guy wanted was casual sex? He can’t just up and approach women on the street because that’s street harassment. Can’t be overwhelmingly nice when he’s actually not because that’s trickery. Can’t ignore dissent and rejections of sex because that’s rape. What is a guy to do? Oh woe, how difficult it is to not be the gender that doesn’t have to be on the receiving end of all this crap.

How about…having better perspectives on sex, sexuality, gender and a little bit of restraint? Women are expected to restrain themselves and their desires to the point of developing neurosis over it so it’s not like guys can’t do the same. Yeah, society won’t really give guys a hand on containing their sexual desires via oppressive laws, gender ideas and cultural backlash that can even result in death but eh, it can be done, nonetheless. Look on the bright side, dudes! No one is threatening to slit your whore throat if you decide to abstain from sex! (If that last sentence didn’t make sense, now you know how girls feel just a little bit.) Instead, just develop more sex positive ideas and interact with people who believe the same and you may get to have a better sex life. If you’re going “Omg, look at that slut over there, why does her shirt have a cowboy on it? She just wants guys to look at her boobs and then get offended when they do,” girls start to mentally strike you off their “May want to bone” list because you just slid yourself at least 200 years back in time. Misogyny is not attractive and yes, it is really hard to find women to sleep with when you keep spouting hateful ideas about them and using subversive tactics that get discovered.

So, don’t be the Nice Guy, just be yourself. Seriously! If a girl digs you, she’ll let you know. If she don’t, she’ll let you know. If she can’t, just move on without delay.

Alright, this is the second to last post of this month’s series! Next week is “The Arts” version for the How Much Do You Love Me? series! That mean:

  • books!
  • videos!
  • sites!

For everyone to use! So many that I couldn’t list them all here! And thank you everyone for bearing with the chronic late postings for this month, how embarrassing!

Oh, and there are Black Witch Meet and Greet events! Check them out here for all the details

* I know some random dude is gonna say, “Guys get raped, too” and y’all are right, but you’re only about 3% of the pie (yes, keeping in mind that rape is under-reported for both genders). As you read, switch to the appropriate gender in your head.

Ask Black Witch

Hello! This is kind of off topic but I need some help from an established blog.
Is it hard to set up your own blog? I’m not very technical but I can figure things out pretty quick. I’m thinking about making my own but I’m not sure where to start. Do you have any ideas or suggestions? With thanks

– London C.

I totally don’t mind blog management questions! I think they’re nice and they make me happy!

It’s not that hard to get a blog started. You just pick a blog provider like Blogspot, WordPress or others and remember, they’re not all the same. I like WordPress  because I have the ability to mess with the HTML so if you know any basic web coding, it’s pretty nice to use.

The best place to start is to figure out what you want your blog to be about, how often do you want to post and how personal you want the blog to be. These three are going to determine the longevity of your blog because if it’s too much, you’ll burn yourself out and/or run out of topics. If it’s too little, you’re going to become mega forgetful about it. If it’s a topic you don’t care about, you won’t want to write, so on and so forth.

Audience is important but they will come if they like what you write. You can’t 100% write for the crowd, you’ll never be happy with what you create if your goal is to dredge as many readers as possible. Know what the purpose of your blog is. If it’s to get people to pay attention to you, it’s gonna show. If it’s to actually express some sort of thought or opinion, that will show as well. Also, know what distance you’re going to keep with your audience. Are you going to be super personal and let everyone into your life, talk to you anon, things like that? Or are you going to have a separate email and everything for your blog? It’s important to know where you stand because you want a manageable fandom should you get one and to keep mean folks to a minimum. In my experience, not having anything anon keeps away nasty people, which is fantastic. I’m a pretty introverted person so it’s great having readers streamlined thanks to apps.

Apps are very important if you get very serious about your blog. I use Android everything for mobile devices so the apps I use that are really helpful is DataViz’s Documents to Go to write posts on the go. I also use the WordPress app (because that’s my provider). And don’t be surprised if you start looking at smartphones and tablets, they do make life easier if you’re on the go a lot but think about that after your blog has been around for longer than a year.

Ooh! Know how to write! Your letter was very well written, that’s a good sign. Having fantastic spelling and grammar (tho the rule is lax if English is not your first language) is great and will keep readers. That and people will take you more seriously if you’re not writing like you’re dragging your face along a keyboard. Regardless where you write your material, run it through Microsoft Word to catch your mistakes! It won’t catch all of them but at least a good amount.

And I think thaaaaaaaaat’s pretty much it. Just don’t overload yourself, stay away from gimmicks, don’t do more than you can actually handle and write well, even when you don’t have a big audience. Yep yep.

“Here the magik sex or magik masturbation begins. At the moment of orgasm get`s the best visualization of the penis being possessed that witches can. Visualize the following: Her demonic possession shoots into the penis turning into a phantom like creature. Your new body races toward the possession of where your chosen target sleeps . Her fantasies race into mind as you use this new body to embrace the demonic pleasure. The visualization should be seen when the effects of the possession cease. Having witches cast her satanic magik and then you see the penis possession who was the target of her fantasies,
“Here now I drink the life blood of Satan. Through this indulgence He gives me the power to call forth the Minions of the Infernal Pit. My flesh burns in ecstasy. Riding upon the energies of my venomous possession are the demons now cast into the penis and the witches are absent of thoughts of the obscenities I now crave her fantasies!”


Hello , I like to know about sex magik demonic penis possession I know its out there just have a hard time finding a witch that will help me out here ? Would you know anyone ?

– Douglas O.

When I first looked at this, I thought it was a derp question. Prolly is thus the lolz. I shown this to countless friends, one mentioned this very fitting macro:

As a reminder to the world: This spot is called “Black Witch” (Not “This Black Witch”, that’s just the url. Please use your context clues, they’re nifty) because I’m of the African-diaspora (African-American) and I practice Witchcraft, hence “Black Witch”. I don’t practice evil magick or Satanism. I’m not egotistical enough or angry enough at Christianity for Satanism. Even Kanye West is not egotistical enough for Satanism.

I googled the first part and learned that this was a quote from some random Satanism site, I dunno if they were even legit. I do know that this is as lol-worthy as the question. How stupid/high was the person when they wrote the quote? They sound like they’re a really lonely and angry guy, probably very annoyed by women always calling them “creepy” and doesn’t understand what women mean when they say, “I don’t like you, please stop talking to me.” I think this passage would even offend Satanists.

Now the actual question: What. The Hell. Is wrong with you? This is so magnificently stupid a question,  it’s unbelievable. Dude, seriously, are you gonna seriously go around and go “’Ey, mah peen is controlled by a demon, woooooo!” That sounds like a problem waiting to happen. Now, I’m a firm believer that anything is possible in magick but there is such thing as “bad ideas”, “stupid ideas” and “This idea should only seem like even a decent idea only if you ate lead paint chips growing up.”

I’m gonna assume that you’re inspired somehow by the text above the question and wonder if you’re somehow under the age of 15. That quote is complete bullsh*t beyond belief, okay? Already at a glance – okay, a few reads, whoever wrote the quote wasn’t the best writer – , it’s remarkably sexist and practically mainstream-rapper grade of sex-negative. And most, if not all Witches (part of the reason being most of them are women), would never help you. At all. Geez, I think I’m being the random nice one for not outright deleting your questions like others told me that’s what they would have done.

In case you’re asking, “Why is this sexist/sex-negative? Oh my god, you’re making things up and complaining.” Here’s a basic break down:

Sex-negative: Dude, this quote is teeming with “Oh man, pleasure of the fleeeeeesh, that’s so naughty.” Yeah, no. It’s pretty much the photo-negative depiction of Christianity’s overall view on sex: it’s bad, it’s taboo and if you do it, you’re bad, you’re taboo. This is magnified when the object (called the “target” (wtf?)) is a female because of the Western perception of virginity and how women are supposed to be all chaste in the name of spirituality or she is a mega-whore otherwise and other really stupid ideas. “The demonic pleasure”? “Obscenities?” Ridiculous. It’s sex. Sex is natural. Get over it.

Sexist: Holy crap is the quote full of nonsense. Already you have gender-based manipulation and manipulation as a whole is always a bad idea, especially for sex magick (which, by the way, the passage is doing wrong. Sex magick shouldn’t sound rapey). Then you have the whole thing about sex when gender is involved and I just covered this, if you’re a girl, it’s really sucky because you’re not even considered a person or active agent in the discussion of sex. That’s why this is sexist, the girl is not an active agent of any sort, just an object and in sex magick, that’s super problematic.

The quote sounds like really wack pseudo-magick made for lonely, really frustrated guys that possibly don’t like women as people very much. And no witch worth their salt and/or with that kind of skill is gonna help out with that. Laugh at you, oh sure. Help you, not so much.

If it isn’t a derp question: Just buy a specialized fleshlight. I doubt you’d want an actual demon to control your penis. It most likely would not end as fun as you wish it did. I heard there were even mechanized fleshlights, which is far less embarrassing than your question.

And that’s all the Ask Black Witch for this month, folks! You can send in questions at any time but remember: good questions are appreciated, bad questions are eviscerated!

Tomorrow is the Afro-Punk Festival! Huzzah! I haz excite!

Janelle Monae

Who I am most excited to see is of course Janelle Monae. I love her music, I can hang with my friends Kellindo and Nastassia, all is spiffy all around. And did you know she recently became the new spokesmodel for CoverGirl? Here’s the video for that:

Ain’t it neat? She is very adorbs! Also she is coming out with a new album called “Electric Lady”  Annnnd here is a performance of “Electric Lady”

Straight Line Stitch

Aw man, I automatically liked them because there’s a Black lead vocalist and they’re metal so it’s ultra rare. Their music is great! Alexis, the lead vocalist, is super nice and so is the rest of the band when I had the opportunity to interview them for Afro-Punk. This time I shall not be as derpy as all get out.

I really like their music video “Conversion”

“Black Veil” is ridiculously outstanding, and has been the best use of braids for headbanging, ever.

Erykah Badu

Dude. Dooooooooooooooooood. Everybody grew up to Badu on the radio. She a Black music staple and a legend. This is the first time in my life I’m really seeing her and it’s not through a medium such as the radio or a magazine cover. I still remember hearing the song “Tyrone” back in middle school.

Lupe Fiasco

Now, that’s outta the way I’mma feature Lupe Fiasco’s newest video, “B*tch Bad”.

Now, I have words about this. This vid is probably why Lupe will possibly be the only well-known emcee I actually like. Look at the site for the video! I’m very happy with the video, absolutely ecstatic. It’s no secret that Black Witch leans heavy towards womanism/feminism. I wouldn’t feature some of the works I have such as Busty Girl Comics or writing the piece I did about sexuality if I didn’t strongly feel that gender equality is important. I mean, Ida B. Wells is my hero, much more than Susan B. Anthony ever will – dude, Wells stunted heavy on Anthony when it came to race and women’s rights. To hear a rapper – a Black, well-known, male rapper who was raised in the hood – to speak actual womanism*, to actually go, “Eeeh, there’s something very wrong with this picture. Lemme illustrate,” and do a good job at that is exceedingly rare. Nas has tried but even he has dropped the ball through the floor a few times and occasionally left it there whereas Lupe has been rocking it like nothing at all. Lupe did show me that not all rappers are interested in being the 21st century Mantan after all with just his first album Food and Liquor (oh, and F&L II is due out in September) so I knew that this was going to be good. And it was.

Lupe is very much on the right track with this video because mainstream hip hop has this thing about women that is pretty degrading, which does in turn speak on itself. The video displays what can be easily described internalized racism that are traced from pretty bigoted theories that date back to the 1800s – wait, no further than that, 1600s – that does affect the freedom of sexuality and self perception that Black Women still don’t really have today. I mean, the video vixen is just the late 20th/21st century reboot of the Jezebel/Jungle Bunny stereotype.  Slave masters used that stereotype to justify raping their female slaves: that they’re already hypersexual creatures so it doesn’t count as rape and since they’re not really people, it’s not really cheating on the wife, who is going to unleash her own special hell on the Black female slave for being a “threat” even though she isn’t really a threat, more like a captive victim in a very jacked up situation. Colonizers did the same, believing it would render what they’re doing as having harmless fun. Internalized racism means that the Black woman is seen through a hypersexualized lens, regardless if she is Mrs. Obama, Gabby Douglas, the random lady walking down the street going to the market, etc etc. The assumption is that that the Black woman or girl in question is overly kinky, not really a person and her buxom body isn’t that way because of genetics but because she’s a natural slut (and if she doesn’t have one, just imagine it or say she’s not “Black enough”), she’s got to have it and she won’t be vanilla about it. This idea is mega amplified in mainstream hip hop through the video vixen, the woman who is supposed to represent a female body but objectified. She can be a teacher, doctor, nurse, politician, anything but operates on “rap music video logic” in that she’s somehow always horny and it’s usually due to the rapper, or simply because men exist period, even if the woman was gay (which is another trope, the lesbianism trope). According to this logic as well, a mini skirt or booty shorts means the woman is an avid kinkster and she’s giving automatic sexual consent – y’know, like how Travyon totally showed automatic racial consent to Zimmerman about being stalked and murdered through his hoodie.

The hypersexualizedtrope is problematic because of the basic saying, “You can’t be it if you don’t see it” and if your image and self-perception is related to your sexuality constantly and not within your control at all (the Jezebel stereotype wasn’t created by Black women), it forces Black men and women who simply just wanted to watch media that featured them and not White people for once to consume and believe these hateful and minstrel stereotypes. And trust me, they are minstrelsy at their finest, hence why Lupe Fiasco put it in the video.

Ah, the minstrel show. White readers, this is one of the reasons why minorities get rightfully pissed, rightfully fast when your folks think slathering tanning lotion or motor oil on their face and a curly wig on their head is a good idea. Everyone else, this is why we ought to be rightfully pissed, rightfully fast when Whites think Brown/Black/Yellow/Redface is a good idea, especially for movies. The Spike Lee movie Bamboozled is about minstrelsy and how the effects still live on today, it’s similar to “B*tch Bad” so if Lupe got you scratching your head, I highly recommend that movie.  For those who are familiar with the minstrel show, you can see it soooooooooooo vividly in mainstream rap. Good god, it’s so vivid. Even Nas pointed that out in a parody rap video starring rap duo Shuck and Jive.

So, you could see it coming heavy in “B*tch Bad”. Why, the chain the rapper is wearing, if you look closely, is a minstrel blackface character. It’s all so similar to how the mainstream rapper and the women around it are depicted. How they pose is similar, act is similar, dress (in accordance to the times) is similar, everything is so similar, you sometimes wonder if a Klansman is running all this. At least see a little “Paid by Mitt Romney for President” stamped on there somewhere. I mean, geez. And this is for a genre of music that is so strongly defined as “Black Music”, like rock is supposed to be “White music” though Blacks created that genre too.  You could google “Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers” – man, just trace the history of Rock back and you’re going to run into us. This also shows the racial alignment of musical genre is problematic in itself.

Music is a pretty big deal because you can learn about different cultures and perspectives that way. Hip hop was supposed to be the verbal newspaper of the people, so to speak. It was the only way to talk about what was actually going on in the hood because our voices are so heavily marginalized in media. We’re not all fatherless gang bangers on the fast track to the jailhouse because we don’t know no better due to not listening to White folk. Nope, that’s not the case at all, I can attest that from personal experience and so can Lupe. We’re living proof, if anything. Hip hop gave us a voice, theeeeeeeen record execs got to the genre. Rough on their White cultured ears, they figured they could package all that Black rage, shine it up pretty , insert Black stereotypical plots so it can be “crossover friendly” like drug wars and broken homes and all they have to do is sit back, collect checks. Granted, that’s pretty different from what usually happens, which is when Black folks create a genre of music, White folks like it but know they’d like it better without the negroes in it, apply White-Out and out comes a genre that looks removed from its roots. Examples: Rock, blues, jazz, pretty much whatever we get our hands on and sounds good. With hip hop, it’s too strongly Black. Very hard to White-Out, the Blackness would still bleed through. Since kids in the hood are already looking like the bad kids that America was so busy telling everyone about, why not just make them stereotypical so it would be easier to sell to the wider (and Whiter) audience? White kids don’t want to hear about how they’re oppressing and ruining lives of children in the hood through their privilege, nah, they want something like The Arabian Nights where in some off distant place is the Hood, where there’s fast money, fast women, fast living. To feel so “gangsta” though having zero idea what that means and that it’s not a very cheery thing to experience while growing up. At all. And this is hip hop, which rap is a part of, displaying a fragment of Black culture and that fragment wrought through every super racist idea that the Western world has about us and then displayed as if this is all the culture is and has to offer, not just hip hop itself. In turn, this is consumed by everyone, Black, White, Latin, Asian, everyone, and creates a cycle where people, namely Blacks, become what they see because it’s almost they only thing they can see which stars them and thus consume it. The cycle for everyone else is that it fuels their culturally-induced belief that this is actually how Black people are and thus justifies their racism and fear. So here you have a race acting out because someone who looked like them for once was doing it and all these other races who are believing they are not at all wayward in their thinking because look! They really are like that! Wow, what porch monkeys, the other races think and express.

Yeah, you can see how problematic that is. I mean, a 17 year old armed with only snack foods is dead because of this cycle. Zimmerman was fed all his life through media and his experience that Black is evil so even a harmless kid with snack foods seemed like a King Kong threat. And that’s ignoring the fact Trayvon also consumed some of the same media and thus showed that while he was alive. No ,Trayvon wasn’t thinking of being a thug but I can bet that he has acted out some of what he has seen simply because that’s the media he watched, no conscious thinking. So both have experienced pretty racist media painted as general entertainment, consumed it roughly the same but interpreted it differently because of their racial and cultural backgrounds and boom, one is dead and the other is awaiting trial after a chance meeting.

Also, it’s problematic because “Black” music seem so limited in subject matter where as “White” music seems to be about as broad as the ocean when you judge what plays on the radio. “Black” music/mainstream radio stations just talks about guns, drugs, phony oppression and misogyny whereas “White” music/mainstream radio stations seem to be able to talk about that too but among other subjects and is looked on pretty favorably. That pushes the stereotype that Blacks are sub-humans that don’t know anything except how to rape/have sex with everything in sight, how to only be violent about base matters and not have significant thought forms whereas Whites are simply well-rounded and fully developed human beings perfectly capable of complex thought and theory.

Lupe Fiasco’s video “B*tch Bad” is a video very sorely needed because honestly, this kind of nonsense needs to stop. I left hip hop a long time ago because of it, it’s simply offensive when it says it’s the voice of the Black people when really it’s just the voice of straight Black misogynists. Misogyny, and hypermasculinity as a whole, is bad for everyone all around because how can there be solidarity if I can’t even be respected as a human being? It makes the concept of Black solidarity seem incredibly fake and an absolute joke. I mean, it sounds like a good idea, can’t wait to see it applied but it never will if Black women aren’t seen as equals and if we keep practicing the same tropes just to save media execs money on the burnt cork.


Next week is Ask Black Witch! If you have questions, please send them in!

Ask Black Witch Submission Form

There are various ways to ask a question besides the submission form, just send them before next Friday. Good questions are appreciated, bad questions are eviscerated. See you at the Festival!

*Womanism is feminism with the more realistic intersections of race and class included.

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